Some Birthday

Somewhere there is a river, looking for a stream. Somewhere there is a dreamer, looking for a dream. Sometimes, people will wait forever just for a moment like this. Somehow, it feels not abit like how it should. Somewhat, the excitement is less than its expected. Somebody must be real sad tonight.

Something tells me that it is me.

Touche

Funny. The thing that makes the world go round, most known yet least understood. Many believe that they know what it means, how to define or break it down into something somehow simpler. However, it cannot get any simpler than it is. It is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired, which is the difficult realisation that something other than oneself is real. It is the triumph of imagination over intelligence, like a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath, which at night, the ice weasels come. It is sophistication itself, which complicates even the most simplest form of emotion. It is not blind, it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Some live because of love, but then again, many die because of love. It is love, that we willingly smoke, though it is an exploding cigar.

It is the littlest thing that tickles my lips, pulling a thread on each side of my cheek. I cannot stop smiling when i think about it. Though for a brief moment, a flash of red and pink would just fill my vision. I have to shut up the denial part of me, though it is no theory or doctrine, but i have admit and realise what im going through.

Most people are judgmental. Actually, all of us are! Ask urself, what goes through ur mind when somebody makes a statement. Of course! U'll judge it. And by judging, it leaves only two option, which is to agree or to disagree. We are quick judges in our lives. We have our own point system, though it varies how from person to person, and we will give personal scores to people according to what they've done or said. We are critical with somebody else's work, but not ours. Why? Well, this is just wierd isnt it? I think the elaboration should be done urself, unless u would wanna judge my theory. Therefore, i'll always sacrifice a period everyday to reflect. Usually, it'll be the traveling period. So, i'll think and judge myself based on a third person's perspective. It works, though i dare not say a 100%.

Ive heard many remarks. Touche! Now, i think they're right. I took some time out to reflect and infer about myself. My thoughts and feelings are distance away, they do not tally at times. Why? Because i have an inner-self which speaks to me. It has covered my life with deceit and lies. Ive been lying to myself the whole time. And what i do to cover that up? Excuses. Im always finding faults and loopholes to shadow over my own problems. Honestly, im not very fast with words either. In fact, im not good in anything that i do! I think if i have some money, i'll go study something else overseas. Now, im being unrealistic. And probably again covering up my incompetence with excuses of financial insufficiency. Well, honestly, i think i can excel in studying human relations or behavior. But then again, i need to practice the skills myself in order to prove myself capable, which i cant. Then again... its never ending.

Why am i talking about these? Well, im sorry. I guess i went overboard. Well, im talking about love today.

So, love. What are you?

Goodnight.