Had a nice day. Finally, a good way to start off a blog entry. Its hardly ever that i'll have a nice day in school and stuff. I wanted to stay up last night, and go school in the morning. Who knows? Mom came home during the wee hours, and she forced me to sleep. So, i woke up late... due to the short hours. If i were to stay up, trust me, i'll go school early in the morning to do my work and to practice. But, true, i'll be kinda tired.
In fact, im super tired. I just came home from Orchard. I was shopping around with Christoven. He needed a break from the competition stress and stuff, and finally its over... so its time to play. As for me, i needed a break from Pipa. My competition is coming, and yesterday, i felt this surge of stress which came like some tsunami wave. Huge, unpredictable and devastating! So, anyway... im going to practice quite hard. I hope i can make it...
I went to school, and late for aural. Im not sure if EricWatson marked me late, because i only heard him say that ShaSha is late or something. Well... anyway, aural class was alright. EricWatson is as silly, while with the glory and fame from the competition recently, i really cant imagine how he is. Well, its wrong to say that he is the most useless lecturer, because... he has proven himself! He is good. Back then, many were saying that he is lazy to teach and stuff... Well, probably true, but still... he is good and has himself a name in the music circle too.
Well, after aural, i went for lunch at the prata stall. Finally, i have cash! So, i returned the money i owe to DongXiao and Christoven. I still owe Jeremy and KaiXiang. Anyway, i ate with the Chinese instrumentalists. After that, thanks to the slow service, we were late for platform.
We waited outside, while Jonathan and i started fighting. We were hitting each other with our slippers. In the end, i got one of his and i ran somewhere far... I threw it into the bin, but then... i thought, how nice i am... and so, i picked it up and put it gently on top of the bin, instead of inside.
The Strings were alright today. There was this disgusting piece which sounded so Chinese! Its utterly disgusting... but, im not sure whether its tough or not. Christoven went back home after performing. So, i stayed in school and practiced for abit.
I booked a session tomorrow for principal study. Im going to have lesson with YanYu, finally! I hope that i'll play well tomorrow and not disappoint her. Anyway, i practiced outside recital hall... and there were many people walking out of their analysis lecture. The first few were people like Jeremy, Edric, HuiQi and i told Jonathan to come out too. He came out with QingLun and Richard. Before that, Sebestian went into the Percussion studio to look for his stuff. So, i sneaked in and hid behind the door. I had a great time scaring him. His face went green. Anyway, then he started to laugh and stuff. He was so stiff before that. Well, i can understand the feeling of going through the analysis lecture, its tough and its boring.
DrKan was early for tutorial! We were surprised. Usually she's the most punctual, but recently... she's been really late. Anyway, she didnt look quite happy. She looked quite irritated today. Anyway, we went through Webern's piece, and we had to do the matrix again. I thought thats it for analysis, and who knows... we're using it again. But its good, we're making full use of it. Closing the end of the tutorial, i couldnt take it... my eyes fell shut tight. I slept.
DrGoh told us to go upstairs and bring down our instruments. So, imagine... the whole class with their instruments. While, Pianists just have to sit there... because we cant have them pushing down the Pianos upstairs. So, we played Christmas songs! Its so freaking fun. I dun usually get this kind of feeling before. Imagine, the whole class with their instruments, so busily tuning and warming up. So, i had mine. And mine is ridiculous, because im sitting right infront. I guess the Pipa attracted much attention... So, i was first. DrGoh told me to play the Christmas song, with him, on the Piano accompaniment. It was fun, so i sat back and played. Then, the class applaused. I felt so happy. Well, the others played too... and i bet they enjoyed themselves.
Thanks to whoeva who found the Pipa nice. To those who hated it, i can understand too.
Practiced after class... and listened to Jonathan's piece. I gave him some advice, and i hope he didnt find me irritating and busybody. Maybe i was. I dunno. But well, there are many things that one self cannot see, only others can. So, im just being honest with him. I hope somebody can do the same as for me, but not some useless comments like QingLun's. I dunno, but i dun wish to start anything here yet. He is a nice guy, but i hate the way he give his comments... because, they aint comments actually... just very obvious remarks. So, if ur ugly, he'll just tell u that ur ugly. He wont tell u how u can look better. Well, if he does, that'll be called advices and comments. He doesnt. There are many other people like that.
We're not im lower kindergarten, no more identifying and pointing out pictures and errors. Please, use some higher order thinking. Be hot, as DrKan says.
I dun feel so tired now, unlike the starting of this entry. Well, im refreshed after i get my engines running. Im warmed up, and ready for more! LianWei is currently asking me for the notes of the Christmas song that we played today.
I wonder how is everyone else, but as u guys may or may not know... tomorrow is the worse day of my life. I just wish that things that be good on that day. Even though im not quite happy, but still... i hope things can turn out well. As for Mom, she shouted at me just now and kept making me think of stupid things. I hate it. Its bad enough already, and usually i'll get sick on this horrible day, she still has to make me feel sad and angry. I hate it, seriously.
Joseph, one of my Pipa junior back then in ACS wished me happy birthday yesterday. I cannot stop my heart from melting. He is the best junior ever in my whole entire life, and trust me, he'll always be the best. I never really taught him much or shared any of my experiences with him much, but ive always tried to take care of him back then in ACS. He is really a very nice guy. Thanks Joseph! Thanks so much! I dunno what to say.
Anyway, im still 17 as for now. Bye, my sweet 17. Going into a bitter age... just a minute away. Sometimes, its just so near, but... we just dun feel it.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sponged Up
Thanks again for accompanying on the phone. I just came home, and it was horrible on the bus. The air-con was leaking and this stupid guy still dared to offer me the seat inside. He was sitting on the outside, and there must be some reason why... and so that is it, the air-con. So, i sat there, watching the guy infront getting wet, and it made me laugh. Then, next... as soon as ive expected, im wet too. The water kept dripping on my head, my hair, my face, my lap and my bag! Im all wet! I wonder if people were laughing... but i couldnt bear to move, because there aint any seats left. The guy infront sat for quite a long time, till... he couldnt take it, because his shirt is getting wet, so... he stood up and left the seat, but without alighting. Next, an uncle came forward for the empty seat, and within seconds, after a few drops, he stood up and left too. The kind young man gave his seat to the old man. As for the stupid guy who offered me the seat, he is bloody horrible. No sense of integrity! U horrible pig.
Anyway, there were so many people on the bus. I mean different types, and its quite interesting to see them once in a while. There was this 2 Africans, they looked different. And nice hairdo too.
Woke up kinda late, but managed to attend class. Thats because i took the MRT to Novena, then a bus to school. I wore my coat today, and i knew it... people will surely ask why im dressed like that today. Williana was the first. I met her at Novena, apparently, she took the same train as me. And i taught her how to put her photo on her blog during the afternoon.
Harmony was fine, i used Richard's book. I sat beside LianWei, EeWei and Fairul. MrYap told LianWei that he passed his re-assessment, and im so happy for him. But of course, sad for those who didnt. Study hard, and focus, i believe they can do it too! Fairul, EeWei and the others, goodluck on the other chance that MrYap gave today. They'll have to do another re-assessment, and this time... i think it should be easier. Goodluck, seriously. Fairul was late for class, and MrYap told him to read from the reference book. He read the 'Neapolitan sixth' as 'Nine sixth'. It was so funny... but nobody really dared to laugh until MrYap corrected him. The best part is, after MrYap corrected him which created a break of laughter, he still read it as 'Nine sixth'. Goodness! Blur...
LianWei said that he wanna eat, and i thought he's going to eat with me... but who knows, he went to fly kite with Aaron and YinXuan. Jeremy saw me and asked me out for lunch. So nice of him, so Mark and Grace came along. We went to eat at IsleCafe. Im so poor, and so broke, i had to borrow $5 from Jeremy! How much do i owe my friends? I know i owe DongXiao, Jeremy and KaiXiang $5. I owe Christoven $4 plus and finally, i owe... nobody else right?
I headed for rehearsal at the dance department after eating, right away. I got the score yesterday, and i havent played the piece before in my life. So, im going to sightread it during the rehearsal. The dancers were all there, and waiting for the musician, me. I tuned the Pipa and got my scores ready. I went through the score with the choreographer the visual ques as well as the entries. Ive to prolong the piece, so... ive not much idea how he would want the music to start or end. Its pretty interesting how things are. Im physically drained when Samuel came to listen. He brought his students along, and all of them are my juniors back then in ACS. I cant remember their names, but i can remember their faces. Well, then i seeked help from Samuel with some parts. He guided me with the right techniques to use and stuff. Basically, i was just running through the scores based on what ive heard before and stuff... its actually all wrong. So, im going to start learning this piece with YanYu after the competition. Well, this performance is supposinging played by Samuel, but now ive to play it... stressful.
After rehearsing, i didnt have time for another rehearsal, ive to rush off to support my friends for their competition. Anyway, im kinda too late, i didnt catch Andy's performance. When i was there, it was just over, and already into LiuSha's piece. Everybody did a goodjob on stage, especially the string players. MaSai was good, though it was quite soft, nothing was wrong. Intonation wise, it was good... but as for Christoven, i guess that he lost out on that part. His stage movement was good, and very natural. In fact, he looked good playing his Viola. However, the intonation has to be more careful. PekChuan was so cute on stage! He looked like a teddy bear. Well, he played well, but his sound didnt quite travel. LianWei and YinXuan both performed well! I think everyone tried their best. However, though the results might not be pleasing to anybody today, its still alright to know that theres another chance next year.
For me to speak like that, im kinda prepared to face my doom for my own national competition this December. Well, i dunno... but November is going off just like that. In a few days, it'll be over. Im so scared.
Andy was disappointed, and worse... afraid to face his teacher with his result. TingTing told us the results, and i called Laurance to double check the results. Well, 3 Pianists got in, one Flute and one DoubleBass. So, Kevin got in for the flute, and congratulations, also to MaSai for getting into the finals.
So, Jonathan and i went to eat with Andy. He was down, and so... we had to cheer him up. In the end, he paid the bill for dinner, because we had no money. Great. He was so... cheeky. He kept asking stupid questions. Well, im kinda open, so... i didnt mind talking about it. As for Jonathan, im not sure, but he didnt quite seem disturbed. Hope everybody had a good meal and a good time. As for Andy, dun think already. No matter how, things will get to him sooner or later, so... just face it and do it urself.
I practiced in school. Played at the lounge, and it sounded alright to me. Im sure that it'll sound terrible during performance class this Friday. Im going to try play the 2 pieces in one goal. Im pretty sure that i'll recieve many negative remarks. Anyway, ive prepared things to say on Friday, if somebody is going to give nasty useless comments again.
Jonathan and Andy sat there, and endured through my piece. They said that its not quite refined yet, and the ending is kind of... not good. Well, i know, im tired. Anyway, im so useless. Im going to call YanYu soon for lesson, and i dun wish to disappoint her and her baby. Her baby watched me go through this piece. Its kinda funny when she told me last time that the baby will kick wheneva she hear me play. Its a daughter anyway. And so, ive seen her grow in the womb from nothing to something. Its kinda fun. I hope to see her this week. As for AlbertLin, im not sure when i can book a room to rehearse again. I think its kinda bad, because of my Pipa, and because that there are many parts which im not really ready yet.
Im going to sleep already. Im tired, worn out and mentally stressed. Its like a sponge, and it absorbs all the crap that it can, and sleeping is the only way to release it.
Had supper with SiHan. YongRui went off... and so, we went to the bus-stop after eating. He wanted me to go over to his house and stay over. But... how to? Ive class tomorrow... and i have to bath and change. Its not very comfortable to go over to his house, because its so dots. Anyway, SiHan's father had a heartattack. I hope he's fine now. Lets all go over to visit him, Violinists please bring ur Violins to the hospital to play song for him. Im joking. Well, take care all, especially Christoven.
Anyway, there were so many people on the bus. I mean different types, and its quite interesting to see them once in a while. There was this 2 Africans, they looked different. And nice hairdo too.
Woke up kinda late, but managed to attend class. Thats because i took the MRT to Novena, then a bus to school. I wore my coat today, and i knew it... people will surely ask why im dressed like that today. Williana was the first. I met her at Novena, apparently, she took the same train as me. And i taught her how to put her photo on her blog during the afternoon.
Harmony was fine, i used Richard's book. I sat beside LianWei, EeWei and Fairul. MrYap told LianWei that he passed his re-assessment, and im so happy for him. But of course, sad for those who didnt. Study hard, and focus, i believe they can do it too! Fairul, EeWei and the others, goodluck on the other chance that MrYap gave today. They'll have to do another re-assessment, and this time... i think it should be easier. Goodluck, seriously. Fairul was late for class, and MrYap told him to read from the reference book. He read the 'Neapolitan sixth' as 'Nine sixth'. It was so funny... but nobody really dared to laugh until MrYap corrected him. The best part is, after MrYap corrected him which created a break of laughter, he still read it as 'Nine sixth'. Goodness! Blur...
LianWei said that he wanna eat, and i thought he's going to eat with me... but who knows, he went to fly kite with Aaron and YinXuan. Jeremy saw me and asked me out for lunch. So nice of him, so Mark and Grace came along. We went to eat at IsleCafe. Im so poor, and so broke, i had to borrow $5 from Jeremy! How much do i owe my friends? I know i owe DongXiao, Jeremy and KaiXiang $5. I owe Christoven $4 plus and finally, i owe... nobody else right?
I headed for rehearsal at the dance department after eating, right away. I got the score yesterday, and i havent played the piece before in my life. So, im going to sightread it during the rehearsal. The dancers were all there, and waiting for the musician, me. I tuned the Pipa and got my scores ready. I went through the score with the choreographer the visual ques as well as the entries. Ive to prolong the piece, so... ive not much idea how he would want the music to start or end. Its pretty interesting how things are. Im physically drained when Samuel came to listen. He brought his students along, and all of them are my juniors back then in ACS. I cant remember their names, but i can remember their faces. Well, then i seeked help from Samuel with some parts. He guided me with the right techniques to use and stuff. Basically, i was just running through the scores based on what ive heard before and stuff... its actually all wrong. So, im going to start learning this piece with YanYu after the competition. Well, this performance is supposinging played by Samuel, but now ive to play it... stressful.
After rehearsing, i didnt have time for another rehearsal, ive to rush off to support my friends for their competition. Anyway, im kinda too late, i didnt catch Andy's performance. When i was there, it was just over, and already into LiuSha's piece. Everybody did a goodjob on stage, especially the string players. MaSai was good, though it was quite soft, nothing was wrong. Intonation wise, it was good... but as for Christoven, i guess that he lost out on that part. His stage movement was good, and very natural. In fact, he looked good playing his Viola. However, the intonation has to be more careful. PekChuan was so cute on stage! He looked like a teddy bear. Well, he played well, but his sound didnt quite travel. LianWei and YinXuan both performed well! I think everyone tried their best. However, though the results might not be pleasing to anybody today, its still alright to know that theres another chance next year.
For me to speak like that, im kinda prepared to face my doom for my own national competition this December. Well, i dunno... but November is going off just like that. In a few days, it'll be over. Im so scared.
Andy was disappointed, and worse... afraid to face his teacher with his result. TingTing told us the results, and i called Laurance to double check the results. Well, 3 Pianists got in, one Flute and one DoubleBass. So, Kevin got in for the flute, and congratulations, also to MaSai for getting into the finals.
So, Jonathan and i went to eat with Andy. He was down, and so... we had to cheer him up. In the end, he paid the bill for dinner, because we had no money. Great. He was so... cheeky. He kept asking stupid questions. Well, im kinda open, so... i didnt mind talking about it. As for Jonathan, im not sure, but he didnt quite seem disturbed. Hope everybody had a good meal and a good time. As for Andy, dun think already. No matter how, things will get to him sooner or later, so... just face it and do it urself.
I practiced in school. Played at the lounge, and it sounded alright to me. Im sure that it'll sound terrible during performance class this Friday. Im going to try play the 2 pieces in one goal. Im pretty sure that i'll recieve many negative remarks. Anyway, ive prepared things to say on Friday, if somebody is going to give nasty useless comments again.
Jonathan and Andy sat there, and endured through my piece. They said that its not quite refined yet, and the ending is kind of... not good. Well, i know, im tired. Anyway, im so useless. Im going to call YanYu soon for lesson, and i dun wish to disappoint her and her baby. Her baby watched me go through this piece. Its kinda funny when she told me last time that the baby will kick wheneva she hear me play. Its a daughter anyway. And so, ive seen her grow in the womb from nothing to something. Its kinda fun. I hope to see her this week. As for AlbertLin, im not sure when i can book a room to rehearse again. I think its kinda bad, because of my Pipa, and because that there are many parts which im not really ready yet.
Im going to sleep already. Im tired, worn out and mentally stressed. Its like a sponge, and it absorbs all the crap that it can, and sleeping is the only way to release it.
Had supper with SiHan. YongRui went off... and so, we went to the bus-stop after eating. He wanted me to go over to his house and stay over. But... how to? Ive class tomorrow... and i have to bath and change. Its not very comfortable to go over to his house, because its so dots. Anyway, SiHan's father had a heartattack. I hope he's fine now. Lets all go over to visit him, Violinists please bring ur Violins to the hospital to play song for him. Im joking. Well, take care all, especially Christoven.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Jerk
SiHan just sent me this super funny clip of this guy singing... and he keeps trying to hit the high notes during the climax. Its super irritating and its making me laugh... The starting really sounded quite good... then as it progresses... thats it, u can sense the stupidity coming.
Anyway, school was fine. I went for choir today, and there were so little people. DrGoh went through the piece which i and a few of the other music technology students did for our homework. There were so many mistakes, and to think about it, theres only one error found in my part. Anyway, its indicated in the score, and i typed what i saw, thats all. And please, no drama or any big reaction, theres nothing to talk about, and it doesnt matter u at all. No need for the unnecessary action talking.
QingLun kept disturbing me, and he kept pulling my hood over my head. Jonathan wore this ugly shirt today, and i tried my best to still talk to him though i feel kinda embarrassed to. Dedric came for choir today, and we tricked him that theres going to be a test or something, he looked so troubled and he quickly went through the pieces himself. He is so hilarious. And LuHeng asked about PeiQian, and so i pointed to Jonathan. Anyway, choir was alright, DrGoh almost blew his top. Im glad that nothing bad happened during choir... so, we went for lunch after that, because... we're released early! Im so freaking surprised! Its so early! So, we had so much time... we went over to NAFA's canteen to have our lunch.
Lunch was alright, saved a few bucks. But, anyway... as u know, im broke. So, i had to borrow from Dedric for lunch. My uncle was so concerned, he called me yesterday and just now, to ask if i need money or anything. Well, he wants to ask me out for lunch, so he can give me some money also. So nice, but... too bad, im busy with classes during lunch hours.
Im very honest with things i say in my blog, so... dun get angry or get agitated or disturbed if u see anything that might make u feel uncomfortable. Here it goes... i love...
Nothing! Got u!
Anyway, we went to school after eating. MrYeo was early, and so... was everyone else. Why? Because we were released earlier during choir! I played the XiaoRuan today. I had a great time figuring the fingerings, because it is different from the ZhongRuan. I had to think in different sets of fingerings for different keys. U know, all the troublesome crap. Anyway, had fun. After ensemble, those who will be performing the modern piece, the Chinese quintet, had to stay... and MrYeo went through how the piece is and stuff. Please, its not really that useful, because we can see that ourselves... if we bother to. But, right... we dun, so its still quite necessary.
After ensemble, MrYeo brought me over to the dance department. They were practicing for their graduation, and im involved in this art work, where i'll be playing a solo Pipa, against the dancers. Its pretty cool. The concept of it is fantastic, but im not sure how the result will be, especially if it falls into my hands. Supposingly, if im not wrong, Samuel is supposed to play or something like that. Anyway, i got to know the dance instructor, Aaron. Nice to know u guys, and it was great to listen to the suggestions and stuff.
Its pretty exciting how the dance is going to be like. They said that they'll dress me up, and i wonder what kind of dress they are talking about. I hope i dun have to wear heavy metal armor plates. Anyway, they were rehearsing with the LiuDeHai's recording, and the other instructor had to play and stop and play and stop, just to prolong the piece. LieDeHai's version of the ambush is very different, and in fact, the piece that he edited is very short. Im going to try my best to practice hard for this performance. Im not going to let anyone down, especially to MrYeo, since he got me this opportunity. Thanks, again.
Anyway, the rehearsals are all packed within this week. And same goes to MDC, before they stop till dunno when. As for the dance department, the rehearsals will be next year, if i dun go down tomorrow. So, im only available tomorrow... i hope i dun screw things up. Anyway, its going to sound quite bad. Its my first time looking at the score, and its going to be stressful because they've worked with Samuel before. Nobody will understand the kind of stress... from things i hear and things that i see. Especially from QingLun's mouth. I think he has very bad understanding about things like that. He'll compare me with LiuDeHai or YangWei. Like what the hell? They are professional, hello? Anyway, if theres anything to compare, theres no need for people like me to play Pipa anymore since they're here. Its this same comment which implied to me a similar meaning from Lance once that made me flare up.
Forget it, some people will never get it. They are inexpert especially when it comes to forbearing such problems. And, if one gets so easily influenced to recordings and things that blind people say, then... im sorry, they're ignorant and really naive. I wonder, are those ears really their own?
My eyes are popping out. I wanna go sleep... but, i have to finish this entry. I dunno why, but im back into this blogging mood, and its turning out fine since dunno when. Remember? There was a period when there aint any entry at all. However, those days are finally over! Im back! And since uve requested me to blog, u should be responsible and come read! Happy staying around here... there are stupid things to do, and i wonder who did all those nonsense at the board with the alphabets. Its wierd, but its nice. Thanks to whoeva it is, but... as for the Jonathan part, keep up the goodwork! I think its u, Samuel!
Played the Piano for Jonathan's Ruan piece. Well, it sounded alright to me, its kinda fun actually to just sightread and be some harmonic filler like that. Firstly, the harmony will never be the same twice, and the notes are either wrong, or made right... thanks to me. I think its fun. But, the keys are troublesome, because i dun play the Piano. So, currently, im only best at reading the neutral key.
Had dinner with ShuMin, Jonathan, TingTing and Christoven. Happy birthday to him again, and he's having his competition tomorrow, i think. I know, the stress. Even the head of dance, Michael knows the stress that im going through. Right. Anyway, the Indian man kept making my orders wrong! I dunno why... but its always screwed up! The shake their head and tell me that they know, but in the end... they still dunno! I repeated my order like three times, at least, and still... im sure i tried my best to get it in their head, but... its always wrong! Im so freaking fed up! Anyway, thanks to Christoven, i borrowed money from him.
Wanted to follow TingTing to Bugis to play, because she wanted to play. But ShuMin doesnt wanna go. Jonathan, u are evil! I hate people like u! I wanted to go, but i didnt wanna go alone... so i asked Jonathan, and he being a bitchy mule, doesnt wanna go too. Fine. Nobody went. TingTing stayed in school with us, and i think we enjoyed the games better! For those who might know already, i was shouting very loudly in the studio, i know. We were playing this card game, which requires full concentration and the ability to shout and scare people with ur voice. Its so fun! It made me cry like hell, especially during the last game. I literally lost my voice. I felt so sore, and i needed water like a dying plant. Its such a nice game! Thanks to ShuMin for recommending something that stupid! Its so funny. We should play it again someday! From that day since i last played it, at Sentosa, ive been trying to find people to play the game with me again. Finally, today! Today! ChinLee was with us for one round, u can ask her how terrible it was. I dunno why, but i had to shout.
Practiced at the lounge. Jonathan and QingLun were there too. I changed the string, and it now sounds so much better! Anyway, i was bleeding, because i think i poked myself with the tip of the metal string. Its freaking... not painful, but dunno why... it might some really sharp and acute cut, so tiny the hole that only blood can come out. It didnt quite feel painful, but there was blood. I was tuning the Pipa, then i saw blood on the pegs. Scary...
Anyway, my pieces are kinda settled down, at least. But, its kinda too late for me to fine tune anything. Now, i only can rely on my teacher to encourage me. I think she is too nice, but i like how nice she is. If she is like Jonathan's bitch, then its totally different. I hate that witch. Jonathan, if ur curious, u can go find for one entry which was dedicated to her solely. I think its quite cool... it shows how much i hate her.
Well, i hope nobody goes around bitching about things that i bitch about on my blog. Firstly, anything here is my intellectual property. Using my quotations without seeking for permission is breaking the law! I can sue u, u know?
Right... i sound like somebody. U know who... right? Jonathan's best friend.
Everybody at level 6 was like taking out their instruments, i mean the band people, and blowing them. Its like some band orientation. Especially the Tubas...
I feel strange. After taking the cab with SiHan and YongRui, i talked to Jonathan on the phone for a few minutes. Then, i couldnt take it, i listened to my songs... and hung up the phone. I think im in love with this song! Thanks to the somebody who sent me this song, i hope there aint any intention hidden behind it.
I dunno, but am i joking?
Im contradicting my own feelings. I dunno how i want myself to feel, but i know how i am feeling. Its just that, i dun really know whether its right or wrong to feel this way. By the way, isit even going to be fruitful to feel this way? I think its just another dream, like any of those common nightmares. I really hope things might change for the better, but... im still who i am, and u are still who u are, a schnook. A dolt will always remain as a dimwit. I think its impossible for a boob like u to change ur thinking. Anyway, its not ur fault to finger at. Maybe its me, i understand that its tough to rapture such a grotesque varmint. However, ive thrown enough iota to qualify as a hopeless tomato. Im not some harlot, though i dun mind becoming one for the sake of ur acknowledgement. Just a nod, and i'll get the adumbration. I hate picking up clues... but sometimes, i have to. Are u afraid of the opposite? When u have to face the embarrassment of a nix? Dun worry, i wont give no cold shoulders. Its there, if u need some rest. Im always there.
To think of it, ur still a jerk.
Anyway, school was fine. I went for choir today, and there were so little people. DrGoh went through the piece which i and a few of the other music technology students did for our homework. There were so many mistakes, and to think about it, theres only one error found in my part. Anyway, its indicated in the score, and i typed what i saw, thats all. And please, no drama or any big reaction, theres nothing to talk about, and it doesnt matter u at all. No need for the unnecessary action talking.
QingLun kept disturbing me, and he kept pulling my hood over my head. Jonathan wore this ugly shirt today, and i tried my best to still talk to him though i feel kinda embarrassed to. Dedric came for choir today, and we tricked him that theres going to be a test or something, he looked so troubled and he quickly went through the pieces himself. He is so hilarious. And LuHeng asked about PeiQian, and so i pointed to Jonathan. Anyway, choir was alright, DrGoh almost blew his top. Im glad that nothing bad happened during choir... so, we went for lunch after that, because... we're released early! Im so freaking surprised! Its so early! So, we had so much time... we went over to NAFA's canteen to have our lunch.
Lunch was alright, saved a few bucks. But, anyway... as u know, im broke. So, i had to borrow from Dedric for lunch. My uncle was so concerned, he called me yesterday and just now, to ask if i need money or anything. Well, he wants to ask me out for lunch, so he can give me some money also. So nice, but... too bad, im busy with classes during lunch hours.
Im very honest with things i say in my blog, so... dun get angry or get agitated or disturbed if u see anything that might make u feel uncomfortable. Here it goes... i love...
Nothing! Got u!
Anyway, we went to school after eating. MrYeo was early, and so... was everyone else. Why? Because we were released earlier during choir! I played the XiaoRuan today. I had a great time figuring the fingerings, because it is different from the ZhongRuan. I had to think in different sets of fingerings for different keys. U know, all the troublesome crap. Anyway, had fun. After ensemble, those who will be performing the modern piece, the Chinese quintet, had to stay... and MrYeo went through how the piece is and stuff. Please, its not really that useful, because we can see that ourselves... if we bother to. But, right... we dun, so its still quite necessary.
After ensemble, MrYeo brought me over to the dance department. They were practicing for their graduation, and im involved in this art work, where i'll be playing a solo Pipa, against the dancers. Its pretty cool. The concept of it is fantastic, but im not sure how the result will be, especially if it falls into my hands. Supposingly, if im not wrong, Samuel is supposed to play or something like that. Anyway, i got to know the dance instructor, Aaron. Nice to know u guys, and it was great to listen to the suggestions and stuff.
Its pretty exciting how the dance is going to be like. They said that they'll dress me up, and i wonder what kind of dress they are talking about. I hope i dun have to wear heavy metal armor plates. Anyway, they were rehearsing with the LiuDeHai's recording, and the other instructor had to play and stop and play and stop, just to prolong the piece. LieDeHai's version of the ambush is very different, and in fact, the piece that he edited is very short. Im going to try my best to practice hard for this performance. Im not going to let anyone down, especially to MrYeo, since he got me this opportunity. Thanks, again.
Anyway, the rehearsals are all packed within this week. And same goes to MDC, before they stop till dunno when. As for the dance department, the rehearsals will be next year, if i dun go down tomorrow. So, im only available tomorrow... i hope i dun screw things up. Anyway, its going to sound quite bad. Its my first time looking at the score, and its going to be stressful because they've worked with Samuel before. Nobody will understand the kind of stress... from things i hear and things that i see. Especially from QingLun's mouth. I think he has very bad understanding about things like that. He'll compare me with LiuDeHai or YangWei. Like what the hell? They are professional, hello? Anyway, if theres anything to compare, theres no need for people like me to play Pipa anymore since they're here. Its this same comment which implied to me a similar meaning from Lance once that made me flare up.
Forget it, some people will never get it. They are inexpert especially when it comes to forbearing such problems. And, if one gets so easily influenced to recordings and things that blind people say, then... im sorry, they're ignorant and really naive. I wonder, are those ears really their own?
My eyes are popping out. I wanna go sleep... but, i have to finish this entry. I dunno why, but im back into this blogging mood, and its turning out fine since dunno when. Remember? There was a period when there aint any entry at all. However, those days are finally over! Im back! And since uve requested me to blog, u should be responsible and come read! Happy staying around here... there are stupid things to do, and i wonder who did all those nonsense at the board with the alphabets. Its wierd, but its nice. Thanks to whoeva it is, but... as for the Jonathan part, keep up the goodwork! I think its u, Samuel!
Played the Piano for Jonathan's Ruan piece. Well, it sounded alright to me, its kinda fun actually to just sightread and be some harmonic filler like that. Firstly, the harmony will never be the same twice, and the notes are either wrong, or made right... thanks to me. I think its fun. But, the keys are troublesome, because i dun play the Piano. So, currently, im only best at reading the neutral key.
Had dinner with ShuMin, Jonathan, TingTing and Christoven. Happy birthday to him again, and he's having his competition tomorrow, i think. I know, the stress. Even the head of dance, Michael knows the stress that im going through. Right. Anyway, the Indian man kept making my orders wrong! I dunno why... but its always screwed up! The shake their head and tell me that they know, but in the end... they still dunno! I repeated my order like three times, at least, and still... im sure i tried my best to get it in their head, but... its always wrong! Im so freaking fed up! Anyway, thanks to Christoven, i borrowed money from him.
Wanted to follow TingTing to Bugis to play, because she wanted to play. But ShuMin doesnt wanna go. Jonathan, u are evil! I hate people like u! I wanted to go, but i didnt wanna go alone... so i asked Jonathan, and he being a bitchy mule, doesnt wanna go too. Fine. Nobody went. TingTing stayed in school with us, and i think we enjoyed the games better! For those who might know already, i was shouting very loudly in the studio, i know. We were playing this card game, which requires full concentration and the ability to shout and scare people with ur voice. Its so fun! It made me cry like hell, especially during the last game. I literally lost my voice. I felt so sore, and i needed water like a dying plant. Its such a nice game! Thanks to ShuMin for recommending something that stupid! Its so funny. We should play it again someday! From that day since i last played it, at Sentosa, ive been trying to find people to play the game with me again. Finally, today! Today! ChinLee was with us for one round, u can ask her how terrible it was. I dunno why, but i had to shout.
Practiced at the lounge. Jonathan and QingLun were there too. I changed the string, and it now sounds so much better! Anyway, i was bleeding, because i think i poked myself with the tip of the metal string. Its freaking... not painful, but dunno why... it might some really sharp and acute cut, so tiny the hole that only blood can come out. It didnt quite feel painful, but there was blood. I was tuning the Pipa, then i saw blood on the pegs. Scary...
Anyway, my pieces are kinda settled down, at least. But, its kinda too late for me to fine tune anything. Now, i only can rely on my teacher to encourage me. I think she is too nice, but i like how nice she is. If she is like Jonathan's bitch, then its totally different. I hate that witch. Jonathan, if ur curious, u can go find for one entry which was dedicated to her solely. I think its quite cool... it shows how much i hate her.
Well, i hope nobody goes around bitching about things that i bitch about on my blog. Firstly, anything here is my intellectual property. Using my quotations without seeking for permission is breaking the law! I can sue u, u know?
Right... i sound like somebody. U know who... right? Jonathan's best friend.
Everybody at level 6 was like taking out their instruments, i mean the band people, and blowing them. Its like some band orientation. Especially the Tubas...
I feel strange. After taking the cab with SiHan and YongRui, i talked to Jonathan on the phone for a few minutes. Then, i couldnt take it, i listened to my songs... and hung up the phone. I think im in love with this song! Thanks to the somebody who sent me this song, i hope there aint any intention hidden behind it.
I dunno, but am i joking?
Im contradicting my own feelings. I dunno how i want myself to feel, but i know how i am feeling. Its just that, i dun really know whether its right or wrong to feel this way. By the way, isit even going to be fruitful to feel this way? I think its just another dream, like any of those common nightmares. I really hope things might change for the better, but... im still who i am, and u are still who u are, a schnook. A dolt will always remain as a dimwit. I think its impossible for a boob like u to change ur thinking. Anyway, its not ur fault to finger at. Maybe its me, i understand that its tough to rapture such a grotesque varmint. However, ive thrown enough iota to qualify as a hopeless tomato. Im not some harlot, though i dun mind becoming one for the sake of ur acknowledgement. Just a nod, and i'll get the adumbration. I hate picking up clues... but sometimes, i have to. Are u afraid of the opposite? When u have to face the embarrassment of a nix? Dun worry, i wont give no cold shoulders. Its there, if u need some rest. Im always there.
To think of it, ur still a jerk.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Falling Down, Falling Down
Just hung up the phone with Jonathan. He is currently depressed... and he has alot to think. Well, sometimes... we have many things to think about, but to think about them again... some arent that important at all. We're just worrying ourselves too much. I will advise that u stop thinking of whateva ur thinking, and just do things that u should. Somethings are impossible, therefore... we shouldnt bother ourselves about them at all. As for me, though im sure that things are highly impossible, i just cling on this little powder of hope. I wish that things might be different, but... after pondering, its obvious that it'll never change.
Someone sent me this song, by AmandaMarshall, one of my favourite singer. She has a powerful voice, and i bought her CD recently. Its a song about love, and blindly about love. I think its so touching and meaningful that i just wanna stop myself from listening to it. Why? Because, things like that are always not happening, especially to low life people like me. Its impossible for love to be quite a fairytale. I think love, is an over-rated crap. U know, in movies, they're always so filled up with love songs on the background... thats why its so freaking touching. If not, i think it'll be plainly stupid. Love is stupid, love is blind. And what authority do i have here to criticise? Ive nothing to say, because... im not an experienced lover.
I feel so shitty. I wanna just go flush myself away...
Im now uploading the song unto my blog. If ur reading this, u should be listening to it right now. If ur curious about the lyrics... its the usual things that can be found in my very old and dusty entries. I havent found a song that can mention so many things that i wanna say before. This song, is seriously... one of the best that ive ever heard.
I wanna laugh, until i cry. I wanna wake up with u each day, till the day that i die. Lets go to NewOrleans, and watch the parade. Take funny pictures, eat jamabalaya and drink lemonade. And when the day is finally over, we stumble home. Before we sleep, baby... marry me. I wanna drive, untill we get lost. Lie in a field staring up at the sky, while u point out the SouthernCross. Somehow i know, without asking why, that u love me more in a minute than anyone could in a lifetime. Dancing in the parking lot, while the band plays inside. Sweep me off my feet... baby, marry me. We dun need no preacher man reading from the good book. And i dun want no fancy dress. Aint no ceremony for the vows that i took, from the moment i met u, i have been blessed. So lets make a toast, and drink up the wine. Heres to u lying next to me until the end of time. Whereva u are, i wanna be and anything that means anything to u, means everything to me. Sneaking out of the backdoor, while they're throwing the rice... and they'll talk for weeks, but we're all we need. So baby, if ur free... marry me. Baby, marry me. Marry me.
Dun u think that the lyric is so touching? I know, it might sound wrong, i wonder if its for a girl or guy. But sure enough, its quite for a girl... because it says that she doesnt wanna have any fancy dress and stuff. Pity...
I woke up late today morning. Well, didnt go to CSCO again. I feel kinda bad... but well, im having my competition break anyway. After the competition, it'll depend on whether i have the face or not to go back to CSCO. Im sure it'll be nice to return... after a long break. Anyway, the camp is coming... and its been quite a long time since ive gone back there.
Went to school in the evening, to practice. Jonathan promised to go dinner with me, because i have not a single cent at all! Well, he didnt! He liar! Bad liar, u! I hate u! And one more thing, Jonathan is scared that im angry of anything. Well, he said those things that ive done to him during the past is scary. I can imagine how it can score u. It traumatises u badly, but i hope that the wound will heal eventually. As i promised, with my words, have faith that u can forget all about it. Im quite sure that it'll never happen again. As for the other part, its not ur fault or anything, dun feel bad. Anyway, i should end off by scolding u. U stupid fool.
Im sorry.
Well, i practiced in school, and after that... went to drink soya with Andy and Jonathan. Remember the auntie who always talk to us? Well, shes at the other stall now! She moved over to the rival store, because i think they quarreled. Great, even soya workers can be like that... least to say for the music circle. Anyway, she was talking and talking... i didnt know how to stop her. She is being friendly and nice, but sometimes... we must have some time to ourselves. Andy and i were basically entertaining her, while Jonathan resting against the wall... and keeping himself safe. Well, had a great time... right? Please say yes.
Andy was so asking me this stupid sensitive question. Anyway, i dunno how to answer...
So today, nothing much... just talking over the phone with Jonathan, being one of the more meaningful things for the day. Well, we talked about many things. As for the rest, im not sure. I practiced abit... and i find that Raymond's Pipa doesnt actually sound quite well. Everybody said that its quite damp. Im not sure... but i dun think i can use it for competition if its in this state. Right?
Had supper with DongXiao, ShuMin and Jonathan. Im so broke, i tell u, that i have to borrow money around from everybody! I borrowed $5 from KaiXiang, and again from DongXiao today. I ate at the prata stall, and Jonathan borrowed from ShuMin. Horrible boy! No money still keep borrowing, its no wonder that u owe people so much and its almost impossible to return it to them! Stupid boy, go buy bus concession, and save urself a few dollars. Foolish nincompoop. U imbecile, u should ask for money from ur parents. Firstly, his grandfather gives him $4 a day. How pathetic? Its only enough for him to travel... its not even enough for him to drink soya! Poor thing actually, but... still... stupid. Its not that i wanna say, but please... go get urself some financial help.
Jonathan, im scolding u for fun only, dun take it to heart.
So nice of DongXiao to lend me money. Im so touched... She was asking me and begging me to arrange a piece for her. Well, the accompaniment is so... electronic. I really dunno how to write... and moreover, its so modern and jazzy. I really dunno! U should go ask EricWatson, or people like ChenWei. Please, im no composer. Im just somebody who wish to learn how to compose, or just composing little fun pieces for the sake of entertainment! Im no composer, im nobody... but to think of it, am i even a Pipa player? I suck.
I heard that MajorTay aint quite happy with the Pipas last Friday. They went over for the rehearsal of the performance with MDC. Well, Anthea, ShuMin and Michelle will be playing Pipa, including me. I'll join them later. But anyway, MajorTay told them to improve on their tremolo. Its kinda true that its a common problem in Pipa players. When they tremolo, they'll eat up the time, and eventually... they'll play slower and slower. And some pulling notes too. Well, i'll be going there soon... hope that it'll turn out nice. I mean, the rehearsal.
Im tired. I really dun wanna say anything about anything. But, if i dun, i'll feel so preoccupied with my own thoughts that i cannot even allow myself to listen to whats going on around me. Thanks to Jonathan for listening, i havent found anybody who is so willing to listen before. But, it might be fake... so, it doesnt matter. Who will ever be that nice anyway to really sincerely ask and listen to others? I dunno. Most of the time, i am. But sometimes, i really dun. Why? Because im troubled enough with my own problems...
Im not on bridge over troubled waters. Ive already fallen into the water... swimming away, getting closer to the bank... but yet, the water ever so choppy. The rapids, the rocks and the current. Blockade to land, obstacle to the bank. I wanna get out of all this...
Someone sent me this song, by AmandaMarshall, one of my favourite singer. She has a powerful voice, and i bought her CD recently. Its a song about love, and blindly about love. I think its so touching and meaningful that i just wanna stop myself from listening to it. Why? Because, things like that are always not happening, especially to low life people like me. Its impossible for love to be quite a fairytale. I think love, is an over-rated crap. U know, in movies, they're always so filled up with love songs on the background... thats why its so freaking touching. If not, i think it'll be plainly stupid. Love is stupid, love is blind. And what authority do i have here to criticise? Ive nothing to say, because... im not an experienced lover.
I feel so shitty. I wanna just go flush myself away...
Im now uploading the song unto my blog. If ur reading this, u should be listening to it right now. If ur curious about the lyrics... its the usual things that can be found in my very old and dusty entries. I havent found a song that can mention so many things that i wanna say before. This song, is seriously... one of the best that ive ever heard.
I wanna laugh, until i cry. I wanna wake up with u each day, till the day that i die. Lets go to NewOrleans, and watch the parade. Take funny pictures, eat jamabalaya and drink lemonade. And when the day is finally over, we stumble home. Before we sleep, baby... marry me. I wanna drive, untill we get lost. Lie in a field staring up at the sky, while u point out the SouthernCross. Somehow i know, without asking why, that u love me more in a minute than anyone could in a lifetime. Dancing in the parking lot, while the band plays inside. Sweep me off my feet... baby, marry me. We dun need no preacher man reading from the good book. And i dun want no fancy dress. Aint no ceremony for the vows that i took, from the moment i met u, i have been blessed. So lets make a toast, and drink up the wine. Heres to u lying next to me until the end of time. Whereva u are, i wanna be and anything that means anything to u, means everything to me. Sneaking out of the backdoor, while they're throwing the rice... and they'll talk for weeks, but we're all we need. So baby, if ur free... marry me. Baby, marry me. Marry me.
Dun u think that the lyric is so touching? I know, it might sound wrong, i wonder if its for a girl or guy. But sure enough, its quite for a girl... because it says that she doesnt wanna have any fancy dress and stuff. Pity...
I woke up late today morning. Well, didnt go to CSCO again. I feel kinda bad... but well, im having my competition break anyway. After the competition, it'll depend on whether i have the face or not to go back to CSCO. Im sure it'll be nice to return... after a long break. Anyway, the camp is coming... and its been quite a long time since ive gone back there.
Went to school in the evening, to practice. Jonathan promised to go dinner with me, because i have not a single cent at all! Well, he didnt! He liar! Bad liar, u! I hate u! And one more thing, Jonathan is scared that im angry of anything. Well, he said those things that ive done to him during the past is scary. I can imagine how it can score u. It traumatises u badly, but i hope that the wound will heal eventually. As i promised, with my words, have faith that u can forget all about it. Im quite sure that it'll never happen again. As for the other part, its not ur fault or anything, dun feel bad. Anyway, i should end off by scolding u. U stupid fool.
Im sorry.
Well, i practiced in school, and after that... went to drink soya with Andy and Jonathan. Remember the auntie who always talk to us? Well, shes at the other stall now! She moved over to the rival store, because i think they quarreled. Great, even soya workers can be like that... least to say for the music circle. Anyway, she was talking and talking... i didnt know how to stop her. She is being friendly and nice, but sometimes... we must have some time to ourselves. Andy and i were basically entertaining her, while Jonathan resting against the wall... and keeping himself safe. Well, had a great time... right? Please say yes.
Andy was so asking me this stupid sensitive question. Anyway, i dunno how to answer...
So today, nothing much... just talking over the phone with Jonathan, being one of the more meaningful things for the day. Well, we talked about many things. As for the rest, im not sure. I practiced abit... and i find that Raymond's Pipa doesnt actually sound quite well. Everybody said that its quite damp. Im not sure... but i dun think i can use it for competition if its in this state. Right?
Had supper with DongXiao, ShuMin and Jonathan. Im so broke, i tell u, that i have to borrow money around from everybody! I borrowed $5 from KaiXiang, and again from DongXiao today. I ate at the prata stall, and Jonathan borrowed from ShuMin. Horrible boy! No money still keep borrowing, its no wonder that u owe people so much and its almost impossible to return it to them! Stupid boy, go buy bus concession, and save urself a few dollars. Foolish nincompoop. U imbecile, u should ask for money from ur parents. Firstly, his grandfather gives him $4 a day. How pathetic? Its only enough for him to travel... its not even enough for him to drink soya! Poor thing actually, but... still... stupid. Its not that i wanna say, but please... go get urself some financial help.
Jonathan, im scolding u for fun only, dun take it to heart.
So nice of DongXiao to lend me money. Im so touched... She was asking me and begging me to arrange a piece for her. Well, the accompaniment is so... electronic. I really dunno how to write... and moreover, its so modern and jazzy. I really dunno! U should go ask EricWatson, or people like ChenWei. Please, im no composer. Im just somebody who wish to learn how to compose, or just composing little fun pieces for the sake of entertainment! Im no composer, im nobody... but to think of it, am i even a Pipa player? I suck.
I heard that MajorTay aint quite happy with the Pipas last Friday. They went over for the rehearsal of the performance with MDC. Well, Anthea, ShuMin and Michelle will be playing Pipa, including me. I'll join them later. But anyway, MajorTay told them to improve on their tremolo. Its kinda true that its a common problem in Pipa players. When they tremolo, they'll eat up the time, and eventually... they'll play slower and slower. And some pulling notes too. Well, i'll be going there soon... hope that it'll turn out nice. I mean, the rehearsal.
Im tired. I really dun wanna say anything about anything. But, if i dun, i'll feel so preoccupied with my own thoughts that i cannot even allow myself to listen to whats going on around me. Thanks to Jonathan for listening, i havent found anybody who is so willing to listen before. But, it might be fake... so, it doesnt matter. Who will ever be that nice anyway to really sincerely ask and listen to others? I dunno. Most of the time, i am. But sometimes, i really dun. Why? Because im troubled enough with my own problems...
Im not on bridge over troubled waters. Ive already fallen into the water... swimming away, getting closer to the bank... but yet, the water ever so choppy. The rapids, the rocks and the current. Blockade to land, obstacle to the bank. I wanna get out of all this...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Alone
Im now browsing through Friendster, only to find myself laughing away when i see Dedric's photos. Its pure entertainment! There is one with him playing Percussion during the trip to Taiwan. My goodness... its totally funny and stupid!
Anyway, i love messages like that. They are brief and they tap into the deepest parts of inner emotions. Though it might be insincere or otherwise, it doesnt matter. Im feeling empty, and one slightest tap will produce an echoe, thus... i'll still prefer abit of sound in this emptiness.
Went for TP rehearsal. To think of it, the competition is nearing. As for me, i think my responsibility as a Pipa player in the ensemble hasnt reached a level where it should be. Ive no time for this ensemble thing seriously, so... i thought of skipping the rehearsal today since im so busy. But well, i went.
I played badly, and i think its so embarrassing. If QingLun hears it, he'll start nagging and criticising. I think nobody plays better to his ears other than those obviously good players like professionals, YouGuo or Samuel. As usual...
Today is the first time i got to rehearse with the Xiao player, XiangLe. I knew him before, and i think he added me on Friendster a few years ago... but well, we didnt talk at all until today. From passing words, i heard that he is very friendly and nice. Well, during rehearsal... he was suppose to play first then i enter... and so i stared at him and waited for his entry... then, i think i saw him laugh. Wierd... Anyway, after rehearsing... i went to the bus-stop opposite, because i thought of going home, and i met XiangLe there. We talked... and i spoke in English, and he replied in Chinese, throughout the whole conversation... till i re-tune my channel. Anyway, he is very friendly indeed. He just had his As, and he is waiting for enlistment. He dun wanna go MDC... which is kinda... strange. Maybe not. For people like me, who'll suffer in NS, MDC is always a better alternative to make sure i stay alive. Ive heard about his quartet before, comprising of my friends, like XueQi. Ive to change the tense, because its only one friend. The other person will be Jonathan, who... aint quite a friend.
Right...
So, i went to school to practice in the end. I thought about going for the concert tonight, but i thought about not going too. I dunno... im confused. In the end, i went. Anyway, Jonathan came to fetch me to SCH, from NAFA. His father drove, and it has been quite a long time since i last took his car... like at least 2 years? Or maybe 3. Anyway, same old car, same father. Nothing has changed. We were late for the concert... but, luckily, they havent started because they were giving some speech or prize presentation.
U know, if uve read the news today, EricWatson's composition clinched the first prize! Amazing. I heard from Dedric that he might have a low chance... because it is boring. Apparently, not. The first piece was by ChenWei. I liked his composition, its just such a wonderful piece for the orchestra. Just like those traditional pieces, or those Chinese pieces. I dunno how to describe it, but i enjoyed listening to his piece. Goodjob! After the concert, we took a picture together with him.
Anyway, EricWatson's piece was good. It has its meaning there, and he made good use of the orchestration of SCO. I can tell that some parts are so freaking difficult, but overall... its pleasing to the ears. There were some pieces which sounded horrible! Theres one that made me puke. I heard that there were many which sounded so stupid that its fortunate for us all not to listen to them. I heard that one has a rapper, and its a concerto for the rapper. Great! Imagine that, and the lyrics for the rap is like the Chinese names of the instruments... then SCO will shout and cheer and stuff. Its horrible! Imagine some of the old people cheering and doing stupid things such as waving their hands...? Please!
After the concert, we went to eat. I met ZhangNianBing, and she asked if im still playing Pipa. And i told her, yes. But well... i think she doesnt know that im playing Pipa almost as a profession already... though not standard wise. She is growing younger everytime i see her. And there was plenty of others who attended the concert, even Adams. Anyway, i forgot to ask Adams about my leave application by MajorTay! Shit...
XiangLe and his girlfriend, ZiXin, HaoSong, Jonathan, PeiQian, Jessly, Anthea, Dedric, KaiXiang, Michelle and i went to have supper. Dedric was so super funny. Well, uve to imagine how he look, and the things that he say. He is bad in English, and he likes to flaunt it. So, its really quite a headache to listen to his crap. Its so funny... Jessly and him were flirting around and talking crap. Its really stupid... and totally hilarious. XiangLe was sitting opposite me, while ZiXin slept beside him. PeiQian ate with Lance and others... before returning to our table.
LanceLim. What a familiar name. Well, still a friend or never was, im not sure. I heard that he is a changed person, or maybe... still the same old him, just growing more ego in him? I dunno. Well, ive nothing to say. I hate politics.
I took a cab to a bus-stop at Orchard. I wanted to pay by card, but who knows? The stupid cab dun accept cards. Great! I borrowed $5 from KaiXiang today, and i only have $3 left. My fare was $4, and i had no choice... but to only pay him $3. I told him i dun have enough cash, and the driver didnt care... he just kept quiet... while i kept searching for more money. Seriously, no more is no more. I sound like Dedric now. And, thats just it... i only have $3. I told him to drive me home, so i can go to the ATM machine to get him cash. The driver didnt wanna bother, because there were people waiting for my cab. So, he told me to get down, and just $3 will be fine. Go and die, bitch.
I took a bus home eventually, after waiting for so long... i almost wanted to take another cab home because i thought the last bus was gone. Im not sure how the buses work on weekends.
U were looking over. I was walking behind, not following u. But, u were ocassionally looking across, and as u might have noticed, i was too. In the end, we were blocked by the wall... and we dun see each other again. I hope to see u soon.
Anyway, happy birthday to Christoven! U got to think for urself at times. Just ignore people who are bothering u, and dun do things just because u want to make people happy and stuff. But of course, sometimes... like as for me, u should entertain me! Im so evil. Again, happy birthday.
U left without saying goodnight. I hate u. Anyway, if u ask me along, dun ever leave me alone. I'll get depressed... and then, i'll cry.
Anyway, i love messages like that. They are brief and they tap into the deepest parts of inner emotions. Though it might be insincere or otherwise, it doesnt matter. Im feeling empty, and one slightest tap will produce an echoe, thus... i'll still prefer abit of sound in this emptiness.
Went for TP rehearsal. To think of it, the competition is nearing. As for me, i think my responsibility as a Pipa player in the ensemble hasnt reached a level where it should be. Ive no time for this ensemble thing seriously, so... i thought of skipping the rehearsal today since im so busy. But well, i went.
I played badly, and i think its so embarrassing. If QingLun hears it, he'll start nagging and criticising. I think nobody plays better to his ears other than those obviously good players like professionals, YouGuo or Samuel. As usual...
Today is the first time i got to rehearse with the Xiao player, XiangLe. I knew him before, and i think he added me on Friendster a few years ago... but well, we didnt talk at all until today. From passing words, i heard that he is very friendly and nice. Well, during rehearsal... he was suppose to play first then i enter... and so i stared at him and waited for his entry... then, i think i saw him laugh. Wierd... Anyway, after rehearsing... i went to the bus-stop opposite, because i thought of going home, and i met XiangLe there. We talked... and i spoke in English, and he replied in Chinese, throughout the whole conversation... till i re-tune my channel. Anyway, he is very friendly indeed. He just had his As, and he is waiting for enlistment. He dun wanna go MDC... which is kinda... strange. Maybe not. For people like me, who'll suffer in NS, MDC is always a better alternative to make sure i stay alive. Ive heard about his quartet before, comprising of my friends, like XueQi. Ive to change the tense, because its only one friend. The other person will be Jonathan, who... aint quite a friend.
Right...
So, i went to school to practice in the end. I thought about going for the concert tonight, but i thought about not going too. I dunno... im confused. In the end, i went. Anyway, Jonathan came to fetch me to SCH, from NAFA. His father drove, and it has been quite a long time since i last took his car... like at least 2 years? Or maybe 3. Anyway, same old car, same father. Nothing has changed. We were late for the concert... but, luckily, they havent started because they were giving some speech or prize presentation.
U know, if uve read the news today, EricWatson's composition clinched the first prize! Amazing. I heard from Dedric that he might have a low chance... because it is boring. Apparently, not. The first piece was by ChenWei. I liked his composition, its just such a wonderful piece for the orchestra. Just like those traditional pieces, or those Chinese pieces. I dunno how to describe it, but i enjoyed listening to his piece. Goodjob! After the concert, we took a picture together with him.
Anyway, EricWatson's piece was good. It has its meaning there, and he made good use of the orchestration of SCO. I can tell that some parts are so freaking difficult, but overall... its pleasing to the ears. There were some pieces which sounded horrible! Theres one that made me puke. I heard that there were many which sounded so stupid that its fortunate for us all not to listen to them. I heard that one has a rapper, and its a concerto for the rapper. Great! Imagine that, and the lyrics for the rap is like the Chinese names of the instruments... then SCO will shout and cheer and stuff. Its horrible! Imagine some of the old people cheering and doing stupid things such as waving their hands...? Please!
After the concert, we went to eat. I met ZhangNianBing, and she asked if im still playing Pipa. And i told her, yes. But well... i think she doesnt know that im playing Pipa almost as a profession already... though not standard wise. She is growing younger everytime i see her. And there was plenty of others who attended the concert, even Adams. Anyway, i forgot to ask Adams about my leave application by MajorTay! Shit...
XiangLe and his girlfriend, ZiXin, HaoSong, Jonathan, PeiQian, Jessly, Anthea, Dedric, KaiXiang, Michelle and i went to have supper. Dedric was so super funny. Well, uve to imagine how he look, and the things that he say. He is bad in English, and he likes to flaunt it. So, its really quite a headache to listen to his crap. Its so funny... Jessly and him were flirting around and talking crap. Its really stupid... and totally hilarious. XiangLe was sitting opposite me, while ZiXin slept beside him. PeiQian ate with Lance and others... before returning to our table.
LanceLim. What a familiar name. Well, still a friend or never was, im not sure. I heard that he is a changed person, or maybe... still the same old him, just growing more ego in him? I dunno. Well, ive nothing to say. I hate politics.
I took a cab to a bus-stop at Orchard. I wanted to pay by card, but who knows? The stupid cab dun accept cards. Great! I borrowed $5 from KaiXiang today, and i only have $3 left. My fare was $4, and i had no choice... but to only pay him $3. I told him i dun have enough cash, and the driver didnt care... he just kept quiet... while i kept searching for more money. Seriously, no more is no more. I sound like Dedric now. And, thats just it... i only have $3. I told him to drive me home, so i can go to the ATM machine to get him cash. The driver didnt wanna bother, because there were people waiting for my cab. So, he told me to get down, and just $3 will be fine. Go and die, bitch.
I took a bus home eventually, after waiting for so long... i almost wanted to take another cab home because i thought the last bus was gone. Im not sure how the buses work on weekends.
U were looking over. I was walking behind, not following u. But, u were ocassionally looking across, and as u might have noticed, i was too. In the end, we were blocked by the wall... and we dun see each other again. I hope to see u soon.
Anyway, happy birthday to Christoven! U got to think for urself at times. Just ignore people who are bothering u, and dun do things just because u want to make people happy and stuff. But of course, sometimes... like as for me, u should entertain me! Im so evil. Again, happy birthday.
U left without saying goodnight. I hate u. Anyway, if u ask me along, dun ever leave me alone. I'll get depressed... and then, i'll cry.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Little Moments
Well, this is a rather fast update. Last night, i didnt blog, thus i blogged in the afternoon today. So, im here to continue today's full entry. For those who didnt catch up with all the full picture, please refer to the archive.
I just came home. Classes were bad. I cant say anything else but to ask myself why i should feel disappointed about class... During performance class, Dedric showed me this booklet featuring the composers who took part in the SCO composition competition. I heard that EricWatson's piece aint got a high chance of winning... because its too boring. Well, i havent heard it myself. As for the others, such as ChenWei, i think it'll turn out rather interesting. Ive seen the titles and the faces of the composers, i must say that they're all rather talented. They're either professional composers or composition majors in some known universities. I wanted to take part the other time, but to think of it now... i'll be slapped so hard in the face that i'll not even feel a sting.
Im emotionally numb.
After that, Andy called me and asked if i can go down to ChinaTown. I called the person, who is in charge, and she told me to go over if i can. Well, i helped them a few times before, and its no harm doing it again, though it greatly bores me. So, in the end, Andy and BenLim and a few others, i think got cancelled off by them. So, they're not performing anymore. And... do they get the $30 at all for last night's practice? I hope they do... or else, its really a horrible experience.
Had dinner with QingLun, ShuMin, YeoYee and Jonathan. Andy came later, not QiLong that i was talking about in the previous paragraph. Well, i was quiet... because i was hungry. U know, my character... i dun talk when im hungry. Anyway, i was also quite moody too. So, i ate and after that we left. They were all asking why im so quiet and stuff... whether im sad or what. But, see... as ive said, i cannot choose to be a quiet person anymore. Im known to be noisy, irritating, funny and really disgusting. Not to mention, being naturally ugly, fat and stupid.
Well, thats all ive to say about that before i leave for ChinaTown.
One more thing, before leaving... i played the XiaoRuan with Jonathan on the ZhongRuan. We were going through the same old songs. He asked me whether i would wanna play with him. Well, thanks for the offer. And it made me late for the practice... but, it doesnt matter... because im not the latest!
At ChinaTown, everybody is happy. Right, except a few. The musicians are like slaves, they are important... but nobody cares for us. I hate it when the guy say things that imply that musicians, like us, are just accompaniment and stuff... not of any value and stuff. I hate it! Though there is nothing much to do, i took a few breaks myself to send messages, or make calls. The Dizi player changed, its the guy that i use to play with a year ago... Well, he is quiet and nice. Today, finally, i managed to talk to him after practice. He works in the national library. I think im going to go visit him some day. Anyway, today, the aunties are all so happy looking... and that pisses me off. Its not that im mad or angry, but im agitated wheneva they sing wrongly or cannot catch the tempo. Come on, even my grandmother can do better! Sing in tune, and in time, though u may have the voice... u still need to sing together with the music right? Stupid... Moreover, i cannot take the act smart uncles. They think they know everything, the pretend to be very good and they teach around and showoff their skills. Worse, when they try... they cannot, and they pretend that their right. In the end, we're just sitting there watching them fool around. Please, we're professional music students, or some already professional musicians, dun stand there are start pretending that ur some professional singer. I think its so stupid... i really felt like laughing. But, i resisted. There were many times when i give signs to the ErHu or Dizi player, and we'll signal back with stupid looks wheneva the uncles and aunties do stupid things. Its so funny!
I see SiHan's nick on MSN, and it frightens me of reality that it might be true. Not a good player, never was... and never will be! I see myself in the mirror trying to become something that is beyond what i can be. Its impossible... face it. Well, ive already faced the music. And now, im facing the music and learning to listen to how it sounds. I think, Pipa is just an instrument, music is within me. Therefore, im going to do things related to music, but not necessarily the Pipa. Probably through the Pipa... and i'll find means that i can play and live with. Its a tough route that we all have chosen. Theres a reason why people pick this path... because, its challenging, and the outcomes and unpredictable.
In the end, we're all working towards an unhappy conclusion. Trust me, the endings will never be happy. But, its all the happy little moments in the process which will make everything... alright.
I just came home. Classes were bad. I cant say anything else but to ask myself why i should feel disappointed about class... During performance class, Dedric showed me this booklet featuring the composers who took part in the SCO composition competition. I heard that EricWatson's piece aint got a high chance of winning... because its too boring. Well, i havent heard it myself. As for the others, such as ChenWei, i think it'll turn out rather interesting. Ive seen the titles and the faces of the composers, i must say that they're all rather talented. They're either professional composers or composition majors in some known universities. I wanted to take part the other time, but to think of it now... i'll be slapped so hard in the face that i'll not even feel a sting.
Im emotionally numb.
After that, Andy called me and asked if i can go down to ChinaTown. I called the person, who is in charge, and she told me to go over if i can. Well, i helped them a few times before, and its no harm doing it again, though it greatly bores me. So, in the end, Andy and BenLim and a few others, i think got cancelled off by them. So, they're not performing anymore. And... do they get the $30 at all for last night's practice? I hope they do... or else, its really a horrible experience.
Had dinner with QingLun, ShuMin, YeoYee and Jonathan. Andy came later, not QiLong that i was talking about in the previous paragraph. Well, i was quiet... because i was hungry. U know, my character... i dun talk when im hungry. Anyway, i was also quite moody too. So, i ate and after that we left. They were all asking why im so quiet and stuff... whether im sad or what. But, see... as ive said, i cannot choose to be a quiet person anymore. Im known to be noisy, irritating, funny and really disgusting. Not to mention, being naturally ugly, fat and stupid.
Well, thats all ive to say about that before i leave for ChinaTown.
One more thing, before leaving... i played the XiaoRuan with Jonathan on the ZhongRuan. We were going through the same old songs. He asked me whether i would wanna play with him. Well, thanks for the offer. And it made me late for the practice... but, it doesnt matter... because im not the latest!
At ChinaTown, everybody is happy. Right, except a few. The musicians are like slaves, they are important... but nobody cares for us. I hate it when the guy say things that imply that musicians, like us, are just accompaniment and stuff... not of any value and stuff. I hate it! Though there is nothing much to do, i took a few breaks myself to send messages, or make calls. The Dizi player changed, its the guy that i use to play with a year ago... Well, he is quiet and nice. Today, finally, i managed to talk to him after practice. He works in the national library. I think im going to go visit him some day. Anyway, today, the aunties are all so happy looking... and that pisses me off. Its not that im mad or angry, but im agitated wheneva they sing wrongly or cannot catch the tempo. Come on, even my grandmother can do better! Sing in tune, and in time, though u may have the voice... u still need to sing together with the music right? Stupid... Moreover, i cannot take the act smart uncles. They think they know everything, the pretend to be very good and they teach around and showoff their skills. Worse, when they try... they cannot, and they pretend that their right. In the end, we're just sitting there watching them fool around. Please, we're professional music students, or some already professional musicians, dun stand there are start pretending that ur some professional singer. I think its so stupid... i really felt like laughing. But, i resisted. There were many times when i give signs to the ErHu or Dizi player, and we'll signal back with stupid looks wheneva the uncles and aunties do stupid things. Its so funny!
I see SiHan's nick on MSN, and it frightens me of reality that it might be true. Not a good player, never was... and never will be! I see myself in the mirror trying to become something that is beyond what i can be. Its impossible... face it. Well, ive already faced the music. And now, im facing the music and learning to listen to how it sounds. I think, Pipa is just an instrument, music is within me. Therefore, im going to do things related to music, but not necessarily the Pipa. Probably through the Pipa... and i'll find means that i can play and live with. Its a tough route that we all have chosen. Theres a reason why people pick this path... because, its challenging, and the outcomes and unpredictable.
In the end, we're all working towards an unhappy conclusion. Trust me, the endings will never be happy. But, its all the happy little moments in the process which will make everything... alright.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Honest
Where is the post? Yes, where isit? It is here!
I was looking around at Jonathan's blog, and then... i stumbled across this little blog. This thing blunder upon me before... where i look at my own blog, without realising that its mine. Thats wierd... because the picture and stuff were not loading. Well, anyway, cut the crap. I realised that i didnt blog last night! Amazing...
After padding out at around 2 in the morning, i cannot remember anything else other than talking to Jonathan on the phone till then. I should always keep the habit of blogging before sleep, but last night... honestly, im really too tired to do anything else, not even game.
I woke up in the morning, remembering what that horrible doctor did to me, i took my clothes and headed to the shower. Nobody turned on the heater, therefore its freezing cold. U know, bathing in cold water in the morning is good for health, but its a shocking experience. Thats why, when people are sleeping, and u pour cold water on them, they'll jump awake. Thats the feeling... I dunno why, but i think its because that our body works like a car... we need to warm up before doing anything right. I think, the best thing to do in the morning will be to shower urself in warm water. I hotter the better! It relaxes the muscle... but to think of it, im all fats.
Took a bus to school. DrGoh gave a presentation about some issues on being a composer. I think its very useful and interesting how the world works, especially for composers. So, he taught us rights and things about law. We should enforce law! Especially things like copyrights... Thats also why i always buy original CDs, unless i dun think they're worth the money... like Beyonce. Well, so... i hate to actually burn CDs, or allow others to rip my music from my collection like that. I know, its just some friendly thing between friends... but, still... its wrong! Im not trying to be morally right, or holy. But still, u'll get this feeling... when u understand, u'll know.
KarenWong taught us many new chords. Some were mysterious, and they hide in the woods... deep in the whispers of the trees. Some useless ones will appear to u like crap, u'll see and hear them everywhere. As for the wierd chords, i cannot really remember all of them. I find them foreign and too sudden for me to accept them into my memory. I can remember only a certain number of chords... and i know how to apply only a few to my homework. I didnt do any homework that day, and for the past 2 weeks. Therefore, i owe her 2 pieces of homework. During class, while she was doing the demonstration, i took the time to finish up the homework. The first piece was completed with the help of Christoven's chords... and certain notes. As for the second piece, i did it outside of class, with SiHan standing around helping me think of the notes. The chords were given last week by Karen, and im so grateful. But, isit helping at all? I think so...
I had a long break before history lecture. So, i took the time to go over to KunRui's place to collect the Pipa. I paid him already, so i dun have to carry so much money around. Before that, i had lunch with SiHan at the heavenly place. Its not that heavenly afterall... and i think it made him disappointed. But still, the food is nice! I think im going there to eat again soon, maybe now... So, Richard and Jonathan came with me to collect the Pipa. We took a cab over, because i didnt have much time to waste on the bus, though i would love to.
KunRui thanked me for the lunch, it was my treat. Then, he showed me the Pipa, with the strings everything fixed already. I personally think that it sounds just like before, but somehow... because of guilt, it gives me a feeling that it has changed! I was scared and frightened. I must be able to tell this to him soon... probably after the competition. Ive got no choice, and seriously... im so sorry. To think of it again, im feeling this series of regrets pouring over me...
I took the Pipa and left after playing awhile with KunRui. Jonathan and Richard looked bored. So, we went off... and in the cab, i took Jonathan's phone away, without him realising. So, he was putting up a show, worrying that he might have lost his phone. It was... stupid.
I told Richard that i might not attend lecture, so that we can go for a movie or something. But in the end, ive no choice... DrKan saw me, and i thought... maybe i should attend class. Lecture was freaking boring! The materials, notes and slides are already boring enough. DrKan now uses this microphone... and i wish that it'll spoil next week! When she talk with that agitation, or straining voice... it will somehow attract my attention to listen. Now, with the help of the amplifying device, she dun even need to raise her voice to talk at all. At the rate she's talking, and at that new volume, i cannot take it. Im not used to it, and i think it sounds so hypnotic. No, its not good. She makes me sleep now. Not just that, now she can even cast a sleeping spell so strong that nobody will ever wake up! Im joking, not that dramatic. But seriously... its boring. However, her video clips and recordings were somehow interesting. See, theres a balance there. I enjoyed watching the Cello concerto by Elgar. I think it is cool, and it attracted most of my attention then. Sometimes, when she share things about her own life, people will always keep quiet to listen, because they are busybodys. But, it works! DrKan, u should research on the different methods of teaching... Though studying is all up to the students nowadays, teachers should also take a certain amount of responsibilty on their teaching. I think that balances things up! Right? Anyway, we were having a party again... we were munching away...
It reminded me of analysis lecture early this year. It was so horrible that many of us went down for breakfast during the lecture. I know, its bad. She must be so disappointed, but... really, we couldnt take the bore and the stress! Well, this year, things are improving because there are lesser modules... and more interesting ones to replace the boring ones. So, only a few people skipped lecture. She knows, she knows...
During the evening, i saw DrTan outside. I went to the office to get SiHan's leave form signed by DrGoh. So, DrTan saw me and talked to me about my attendance problem. Well, i know i have certain attendance problems during the last few semesters. Well, this time... helping with MDC will create another problem like that, i know. But well, i told DrTan already that i'll choose which practice to go, and not all. Its my own time that im eating into afterall... so, its my own loss or gain. Well, ive seen the schedule, and its packed! Though im aware of the time consuming practices, im wise enough to pick which are the more important ones that i can attend, and which i can skip.
Things like that are hard to say. Anyway, its up to the school how they want to punish their students. Sometimes, they have everything to cook up stories or things to blame or punish the students. I dunno... but i hope NAFA is not like that.
After that, i headed straight to ChinaTown for rehearsal. I didnt know that its Andy's virgin practice there. I thought that he should be more experienced. Well, BenLim was there too, playing the Sheng and JinBo on the Ruan. Its the first time i see JinBo from closeup. I think she is very nice. During the practice, we were like tape recorders... play and stop and play and stop. The old people were singing... but only a few can make it. There was this few uncles who cannot even catch their first note, therefore... we have to change our preceeding note to their first note, so they can enter with ease. Right! So, we did. But, still... they cannot catch it! Worse thing is... we are to compromise with them, because we are the musicians. They can just suddenly change their keys. So, there were a few that changed their keys... i wonder how the Cellos or Basses can read their scores like that. As for us, numbers are useful in such cases. There was only one song that sounded nice. The rest were like... boring.
The practice was long! They dragged the time until... 11pm! So late... Imagine, we accompanied around 8 singers or so... with each singer, we played at least twice, usually three. And sometimes... we've to listen to them talk. Some were really funny... i couldnt take it, and almost burst out of laughter! Funny shit! Really funny... But still, i respect them.
After playing for so long, i went for supper with Andy, his girlfriend and BenLim. I wanted to go over to auntie's stall... but, since they asked me along for supper... i went ahead. I ate curry mutton. It was nice, but... somehow too spicy for me! U know, i love curry, but i hate spicy food. They went home after that... Since im at ChinaTown, i went over to visit auntie's stall. I got myself a drink, and i left after saying bye to Nana.
The bus came and soon, after waking up several times, i find myself home already. Jonathan called me, and its nice of him to accompany on the phone till i got home. And from then, i laid down on bed and didnt move anymore. Im tired, stressed and totally... worn out, like rubber. Then, we were on the phone talking about nothing till 2.
I woke up this morning feeling tired and still worn out. AlbertLin came over to NAFA for my rehearsal of the concerto. Well, it went on well... I took the cab to school, with the Pipa, and i gave the driver all that i have. I didnt have enough cash, so... its tough for me to travel around without money. I prepared $70 for AlbertLin, and thats all. Now, im loaded with merely $30. Loaded right? Enough is enough... and i spent around $80 fixing the Pipa. Fuck, and not forgetting the fucking idiot, the slut shit doctor, i paid her $16! Im low on cash.
I didnt tell u something embarrassing that happened at the clinic. Only Fairul and Jonathan knows. But well... U think im going to say it? Wrong! I wont. Its so embarrassing... im shy.
Im currently in the computer lab, blogging while listening to music. Esther was here a moment ago, and she was like surprised that i blog so much... or am i writing an essay? I dunno, i dun think blogging is a problem at all... on the other hand, essays are! So, she was curious on what i can say on one day. But if u guys look at the post, its clearly just one day! Many things can happen, and there are many things that we can blog about... So, Jonathan is just plain lazy and stupid, no excuses! Im joking... Right, im scolding him again, SiHan.
I asked Amy what she was doing. She told me she's doing an essay on what she wanna teach in the future. So, what do u write? Amy then replied... its all fake. Right...
Natasha just stomped in the computer lab. She is now complaining about the cleaner auntie who is suspicious of stealing her money. She left her wallet in the toilet, then just now, she went over to take it, and she found out that her $10 is missing! She is so pissed... and she is sighing away now. The cleaner was in the toilet, and she heard her zipping her wallet. Wierd...
AlbertLin was just in time, though late. DrKan was using the room, and she ate up my time. But its alright. The Pipa wasnt on my side, it sounded horrible. I took out the CSCO Pipa, and same thing. They didnt sound in tune at all! I think its my problem. Im a bad Pipa player. During performance class, QingLun said that i played badly. He thinks that its horrible. To a certain extent, i can agree... but not totally. Why? Because, QingLun is always affected by professional recordings, to an extent which he doesnt really have his own mindset about things. Last time, he used to tell me things about Pipa, but... they were all delivered straight from things that Harry once told him. I dunno... but well, PeiQian came over too, because she is currently having her 9 months holiday and she is bored. Jonathan brought her over... I hope that the security guard wont catch her. But it should be alright... the guard is stupid, plainly idiotic.
Anyway, the performance class was bad. I played badly, and i didnt like it. I think sometimes, i play better by myself. Ive heard many of such comments before, and i think it sounded quite harsh and insulting for myself to accept. Due to my own conception of certain things and comments by others, i can clearly conclude that im not crafted for arts. Im not a music person! Im a... crab! I mean, crap. I dunno!
I hate myself. I just had composition tutorial. We were to come up with a piece just like that, with everybody's effort on each bar. Well, i was to do the third bar. DrGoh looked so stressing... so, i couldnt think fast enough or smart enough for an answer. I told him to put just one long note for a bar on the third bar. Its so stupid. But, i liked it.
He drew a dot on my hand. Im now staring at it...
Till tonight, when i'll blog a shorter entry to finish up today's full entry. I wonder where im going to go later. Actually, i thought about going home... because im bored. Jonathan has his friends, QingLun too. So, i should go out with Christoven and SiHan. But u know, SiHan and Christoven are having this wierd war recently. I dunno what to do... maybe i should be like the Indians.
Thats wrong.
I mean, like India, who tried helping to build bridges between Pakistan and SriLanka. Wait! What are the facts again? I think i got them mixed up. I dunno! I failed my social studies. Im lousy... and i dun take history in school, because im poor with facts and argumentative writings.
But look, im always doing argumentative writings on my blog. I should be better now...
Right...
Sometimes, somethings might be good for u. But, it comes like cold water, too jarring or too sudden to accept them. Sometimes, its even harmful for the brain or nerves to sudden hear or feel things like that. I think, one should try not to pour cold water in form of words to others... And i dun mean the literal idiom meaning or anything like that.
Clearly, after reading, u havent felt the higher regions of my stress level. I may seem happy, but its a facade which hides my frown. Behind, is the real face, where i cover with the mask of my fake self.
Whateava it is, whateva u wanna say, dun. See u guys. Anyway, it took me an hour exactly to do this entry.
I was looking around at Jonathan's blog, and then... i stumbled across this little blog. This thing blunder upon me before... where i look at my own blog, without realising that its mine. Thats wierd... because the picture and stuff were not loading. Well, anyway, cut the crap. I realised that i didnt blog last night! Amazing...
After padding out at around 2 in the morning, i cannot remember anything else other than talking to Jonathan on the phone till then. I should always keep the habit of blogging before sleep, but last night... honestly, im really too tired to do anything else, not even game.
I woke up in the morning, remembering what that horrible doctor did to me, i took my clothes and headed to the shower. Nobody turned on the heater, therefore its freezing cold. U know, bathing in cold water in the morning is good for health, but its a shocking experience. Thats why, when people are sleeping, and u pour cold water on them, they'll jump awake. Thats the feeling... I dunno why, but i think its because that our body works like a car... we need to warm up before doing anything right. I think, the best thing to do in the morning will be to shower urself in warm water. I hotter the better! It relaxes the muscle... but to think of it, im all fats.
Took a bus to school. DrGoh gave a presentation about some issues on being a composer. I think its very useful and interesting how the world works, especially for composers. So, he taught us rights and things about law. We should enforce law! Especially things like copyrights... Thats also why i always buy original CDs, unless i dun think they're worth the money... like Beyonce. Well, so... i hate to actually burn CDs, or allow others to rip my music from my collection like that. I know, its just some friendly thing between friends... but, still... its wrong! Im not trying to be morally right, or holy. But still, u'll get this feeling... when u understand, u'll know.
KarenWong taught us many new chords. Some were mysterious, and they hide in the woods... deep in the whispers of the trees. Some useless ones will appear to u like crap, u'll see and hear them everywhere. As for the wierd chords, i cannot really remember all of them. I find them foreign and too sudden for me to accept them into my memory. I can remember only a certain number of chords... and i know how to apply only a few to my homework. I didnt do any homework that day, and for the past 2 weeks. Therefore, i owe her 2 pieces of homework. During class, while she was doing the demonstration, i took the time to finish up the homework. The first piece was completed with the help of Christoven's chords... and certain notes. As for the second piece, i did it outside of class, with SiHan standing around helping me think of the notes. The chords were given last week by Karen, and im so grateful. But, isit helping at all? I think so...
I had a long break before history lecture. So, i took the time to go over to KunRui's place to collect the Pipa. I paid him already, so i dun have to carry so much money around. Before that, i had lunch with SiHan at the heavenly place. Its not that heavenly afterall... and i think it made him disappointed. But still, the food is nice! I think im going there to eat again soon, maybe now... So, Richard and Jonathan came with me to collect the Pipa. We took a cab over, because i didnt have much time to waste on the bus, though i would love to.
KunRui thanked me for the lunch, it was my treat. Then, he showed me the Pipa, with the strings everything fixed already. I personally think that it sounds just like before, but somehow... because of guilt, it gives me a feeling that it has changed! I was scared and frightened. I must be able to tell this to him soon... probably after the competition. Ive got no choice, and seriously... im so sorry. To think of it again, im feeling this series of regrets pouring over me...
I took the Pipa and left after playing awhile with KunRui. Jonathan and Richard looked bored. So, we went off... and in the cab, i took Jonathan's phone away, without him realising. So, he was putting up a show, worrying that he might have lost his phone. It was... stupid.
I told Richard that i might not attend lecture, so that we can go for a movie or something. But in the end, ive no choice... DrKan saw me, and i thought... maybe i should attend class. Lecture was freaking boring! The materials, notes and slides are already boring enough. DrKan now uses this microphone... and i wish that it'll spoil next week! When she talk with that agitation, or straining voice... it will somehow attract my attention to listen. Now, with the help of the amplifying device, she dun even need to raise her voice to talk at all. At the rate she's talking, and at that new volume, i cannot take it. Im not used to it, and i think it sounds so hypnotic. No, its not good. She makes me sleep now. Not just that, now she can even cast a sleeping spell so strong that nobody will ever wake up! Im joking, not that dramatic. But seriously... its boring. However, her video clips and recordings were somehow interesting. See, theres a balance there. I enjoyed watching the Cello concerto by Elgar. I think it is cool, and it attracted most of my attention then. Sometimes, when she share things about her own life, people will always keep quiet to listen, because they are busybodys. But, it works! DrKan, u should research on the different methods of teaching... Though studying is all up to the students nowadays, teachers should also take a certain amount of responsibilty on their teaching. I think that balances things up! Right? Anyway, we were having a party again... we were munching away...
It reminded me of analysis lecture early this year. It was so horrible that many of us went down for breakfast during the lecture. I know, its bad. She must be so disappointed, but... really, we couldnt take the bore and the stress! Well, this year, things are improving because there are lesser modules... and more interesting ones to replace the boring ones. So, only a few people skipped lecture. She knows, she knows...
During the evening, i saw DrTan outside. I went to the office to get SiHan's leave form signed by DrGoh. So, DrTan saw me and talked to me about my attendance problem. Well, i know i have certain attendance problems during the last few semesters. Well, this time... helping with MDC will create another problem like that, i know. But well, i told DrTan already that i'll choose which practice to go, and not all. Its my own time that im eating into afterall... so, its my own loss or gain. Well, ive seen the schedule, and its packed! Though im aware of the time consuming practices, im wise enough to pick which are the more important ones that i can attend, and which i can skip.
Things like that are hard to say. Anyway, its up to the school how they want to punish their students. Sometimes, they have everything to cook up stories or things to blame or punish the students. I dunno... but i hope NAFA is not like that.
After that, i headed straight to ChinaTown for rehearsal. I didnt know that its Andy's virgin practice there. I thought that he should be more experienced. Well, BenLim was there too, playing the Sheng and JinBo on the Ruan. Its the first time i see JinBo from closeup. I think she is very nice. During the practice, we were like tape recorders... play and stop and play and stop. The old people were singing... but only a few can make it. There was this few uncles who cannot even catch their first note, therefore... we have to change our preceeding note to their first note, so they can enter with ease. Right! So, we did. But, still... they cannot catch it! Worse thing is... we are to compromise with them, because we are the musicians. They can just suddenly change their keys. So, there were a few that changed their keys... i wonder how the Cellos or Basses can read their scores like that. As for us, numbers are useful in such cases. There was only one song that sounded nice. The rest were like... boring.
The practice was long! They dragged the time until... 11pm! So late... Imagine, we accompanied around 8 singers or so... with each singer, we played at least twice, usually three. And sometimes... we've to listen to them talk. Some were really funny... i couldnt take it, and almost burst out of laughter! Funny shit! Really funny... But still, i respect them.
After playing for so long, i went for supper with Andy, his girlfriend and BenLim. I wanted to go over to auntie's stall... but, since they asked me along for supper... i went ahead. I ate curry mutton. It was nice, but... somehow too spicy for me! U know, i love curry, but i hate spicy food. They went home after that... Since im at ChinaTown, i went over to visit auntie's stall. I got myself a drink, and i left after saying bye to Nana.
The bus came and soon, after waking up several times, i find myself home already. Jonathan called me, and its nice of him to accompany on the phone till i got home. And from then, i laid down on bed and didnt move anymore. Im tired, stressed and totally... worn out, like rubber. Then, we were on the phone talking about nothing till 2.
I woke up this morning feeling tired and still worn out. AlbertLin came over to NAFA for my rehearsal of the concerto. Well, it went on well... I took the cab to school, with the Pipa, and i gave the driver all that i have. I didnt have enough cash, so... its tough for me to travel around without money. I prepared $70 for AlbertLin, and thats all. Now, im loaded with merely $30. Loaded right? Enough is enough... and i spent around $80 fixing the Pipa. Fuck, and not forgetting the fucking idiot, the slut shit doctor, i paid her $16! Im low on cash.
I didnt tell u something embarrassing that happened at the clinic. Only Fairul and Jonathan knows. But well... U think im going to say it? Wrong! I wont. Its so embarrassing... im shy.
Im currently in the computer lab, blogging while listening to music. Esther was here a moment ago, and she was like surprised that i blog so much... or am i writing an essay? I dunno, i dun think blogging is a problem at all... on the other hand, essays are! So, she was curious on what i can say on one day. But if u guys look at the post, its clearly just one day! Many things can happen, and there are many things that we can blog about... So, Jonathan is just plain lazy and stupid, no excuses! Im joking... Right, im scolding him again, SiHan.
I asked Amy what she was doing. She told me she's doing an essay on what she wanna teach in the future. So, what do u write? Amy then replied... its all fake. Right...
Natasha just stomped in the computer lab. She is now complaining about the cleaner auntie who is suspicious of stealing her money. She left her wallet in the toilet, then just now, she went over to take it, and she found out that her $10 is missing! She is so pissed... and she is sighing away now. The cleaner was in the toilet, and she heard her zipping her wallet. Wierd...
AlbertLin was just in time, though late. DrKan was using the room, and she ate up my time. But its alright. The Pipa wasnt on my side, it sounded horrible. I took out the CSCO Pipa, and same thing. They didnt sound in tune at all! I think its my problem. Im a bad Pipa player. During performance class, QingLun said that i played badly. He thinks that its horrible. To a certain extent, i can agree... but not totally. Why? Because, QingLun is always affected by professional recordings, to an extent which he doesnt really have his own mindset about things. Last time, he used to tell me things about Pipa, but... they were all delivered straight from things that Harry once told him. I dunno... but well, PeiQian came over too, because she is currently having her 9 months holiday and she is bored. Jonathan brought her over... I hope that the security guard wont catch her. But it should be alright... the guard is stupid, plainly idiotic.
Anyway, the performance class was bad. I played badly, and i didnt like it. I think sometimes, i play better by myself. Ive heard many of such comments before, and i think it sounded quite harsh and insulting for myself to accept. Due to my own conception of certain things and comments by others, i can clearly conclude that im not crafted for arts. Im not a music person! Im a... crab! I mean, crap. I dunno!
I hate myself. I just had composition tutorial. We were to come up with a piece just like that, with everybody's effort on each bar. Well, i was to do the third bar. DrGoh looked so stressing... so, i couldnt think fast enough or smart enough for an answer. I told him to put just one long note for a bar on the third bar. Its so stupid. But, i liked it.
He drew a dot on my hand. Im now staring at it...
Till tonight, when i'll blog a shorter entry to finish up today's full entry. I wonder where im going to go later. Actually, i thought about going home... because im bored. Jonathan has his friends, QingLun too. So, i should go out with Christoven and SiHan. But u know, SiHan and Christoven are having this wierd war recently. I dunno what to do... maybe i should be like the Indians.
Thats wrong.
I mean, like India, who tried helping to build bridges between Pakistan and SriLanka. Wait! What are the facts again? I think i got them mixed up. I dunno! I failed my social studies. Im lousy... and i dun take history in school, because im poor with facts and argumentative writings.
But look, im always doing argumentative writings on my blog. I should be better now...
Right...
Sometimes, somethings might be good for u. But, it comes like cold water, too jarring or too sudden to accept them. Sometimes, its even harmful for the brain or nerves to sudden hear or feel things like that. I think, one should try not to pour cold water in form of words to others... And i dun mean the literal idiom meaning or anything like that.
Clearly, after reading, u havent felt the higher regions of my stress level. I may seem happy, but its a facade which hides my frown. Behind, is the real face, where i cover with the mask of my fake self.
Whateava it is, whateva u wanna say, dun. See u guys. Anyway, it took me an hour exactly to do this entry.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Nobody
Ive been looking forward to this hour, this very moment when i can spill everything out of this bin. Ive enough rubbish, and trust me, today's rubbish will smell like...
I woke up feeling tired. Maybe i slept too late last night. Fhairil and i were sleeping in the bus, and... we overslept! What the hell? We were at YioChuKang already when we wake up, and we're the last 2 person on the bus. The driver should wake us up right? Right, its not his fault. Well, so... i walked with him till a traffic light a distance away, then i headed home for a match with LianWei, Richard and Jonathan. Who knows? Richard went to sleep. As for LianWei, he was nowhere to be found. Jonathan and i played for a leaver match, then we left for bed.
Yesterday was the first time ive seen Jonathan in such a dramatic state. But well, since he's fine with telling Fairul, i think he'll be fine that i blog it out too. Right? Jonathan was sad about his life and his troubles. True enough, i understand how some may pull ur emotions down. But, to think of it, u should compare urself to how others might have suffered. Well, i dun wish to say anything else about Jonathan. But, let me attract ur attention over here to my adopted sister, Amanda.
Last week, there was a court hearing. I couldnt enter, and MrTan, my lawyer managed to get in to listen. He was making notes, but he didnt know that the hearing is a private one. So, his notes were confiscated, and he was sent out of the court. Poor thing. As for me, i didnt even go... because i heard from Dorothy that im not allowed to appear there. So, i stayed in school... hoping and wondering how things went. Just a yesterday, i went to see MrTan to update myself on Amanda's case. Well, the court has come to a decision to put Amanda at the homes for one more year before they settle the case. U know where she is staying? She is innocent, and she is alone. She is strong, i believe in her. I want to bring her out, but im not allowed to. Well, she is currently staying in a juvenile home. U know, those where youngsters that their parents cannot control. So, people in there are generally... bad. I really pity Amanda. I wanna bring her out of that place... but i cannot. Im helpless. Ive decided to visit her during a weekend, soon. I hope she's doing fine in there, and hopefully the environment there will not destroy her academic progress. She has a bright future if she studies hard. Go, Amanda. Though Jane, being ur mother, doesnt want u anymore, and she insists that she is a victim in this case, and she'd spent so much of Dad's money on this case to create evidence to show that she's innocent... im sure Amanda, u must be disappointed. But trust in me, Dad is up there watching, he'll not let her treat any of us like that. Dad trusted Jane, but... apparently, Jane is doing Dad so much wrong! Jane, deserves nothing, not even death to pity her existence here on earth. She should suffer in silence! Evil woman.
I went to see the doctor. DrYap wasnt there, instead... there's this ugly skinny doctor. She looks ugly and pissed off. I think its menopause or something! It must be hard on u, DrJenniferYeo. I told her i had stomachache, and she said that she has to refer me to TanTockSeng Hospital, and they'll give me my MC there if i do not need to be hospitalised. What the fuck? Fuck u! Old hag, whats ur problem? When i leave, she didnt even look at me, and she said that last line, and she said bye in such a rude manner! I wanted to just leave and not pay the bill, because there's nothing to pay! I just want my medicine and my MC, and i paid $16 for her fucking consultation! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck! Fuck! Stupid doctor, go and die! U'll be in peace with Jane!
As u can see, ive a destructive and cantankerous behaviour. Its my nature, therefore its a fault within me that is questionable for every case. Including things like misunderstandings, u can based it on my character to make a conclusion. QingLun said once that he'll never believe anything i say, but he'll listen to others. Well, thats because i always lie? Do i always lie? If i lie, i'll tell u the truth after a min or so. I never tell a lie for a day. Thats the truth, seriously. And my lies arent harmful, unlike others. Anyway, after hearing things like that... i get quite upset. Especially when they say it very honestly... I'll get a thug in my heart, and i will usually just feel a missing beat. U know how it feels.
Went over to visit KunRui, and he told me that the Pipa aint ready. Actually, its kinda alright, so i paid him the fee. And i told him to help me polish up on some other minor problems. Well, he kept apologising. Its alright.
Wanted to go to school today, for the band concert. But, since im not well... i'd better stay home. So, i did. I wonder how it went...
Fairul told me that its alright. Im sure the rest are having fun drinking and eating outside now.
Jasmine approached me on MSN, to ask about some of her doubts. She came to clarify about things on my blog. Well, Jasmine, trust me, it'll never happen. Once bitten, twice shy. I'll never allow myself to set foot unto an obvious crackhole.
Its not that i think that the whole world revolves around me, but... nobody came to ask why i didnt go school today. Some did, and thanks. But, some didnt. So wierd, and so disappointing.
Whats there to be disappointed about? What the hell, WeiKang, who are u? Ur, nobody.
I woke up feeling tired. Maybe i slept too late last night. Fhairil and i were sleeping in the bus, and... we overslept! What the hell? We were at YioChuKang already when we wake up, and we're the last 2 person on the bus. The driver should wake us up right? Right, its not his fault. Well, so... i walked with him till a traffic light a distance away, then i headed home for a match with LianWei, Richard and Jonathan. Who knows? Richard went to sleep. As for LianWei, he was nowhere to be found. Jonathan and i played for a leaver match, then we left for bed.
Yesterday was the first time ive seen Jonathan in such a dramatic state. But well, since he's fine with telling Fairul, i think he'll be fine that i blog it out too. Right? Jonathan was sad about his life and his troubles. True enough, i understand how some may pull ur emotions down. But, to think of it, u should compare urself to how others might have suffered. Well, i dun wish to say anything else about Jonathan. But, let me attract ur attention over here to my adopted sister, Amanda.
Last week, there was a court hearing. I couldnt enter, and MrTan, my lawyer managed to get in to listen. He was making notes, but he didnt know that the hearing is a private one. So, his notes were confiscated, and he was sent out of the court. Poor thing. As for me, i didnt even go... because i heard from Dorothy that im not allowed to appear there. So, i stayed in school... hoping and wondering how things went. Just a yesterday, i went to see MrTan to update myself on Amanda's case. Well, the court has come to a decision to put Amanda at the homes for one more year before they settle the case. U know where she is staying? She is innocent, and she is alone. She is strong, i believe in her. I want to bring her out, but im not allowed to. Well, she is currently staying in a juvenile home. U know, those where youngsters that their parents cannot control. So, people in there are generally... bad. I really pity Amanda. I wanna bring her out of that place... but i cannot. Im helpless. Ive decided to visit her during a weekend, soon. I hope she's doing fine in there, and hopefully the environment there will not destroy her academic progress. She has a bright future if she studies hard. Go, Amanda. Though Jane, being ur mother, doesnt want u anymore, and she insists that she is a victim in this case, and she'd spent so much of Dad's money on this case to create evidence to show that she's innocent... im sure Amanda, u must be disappointed. But trust in me, Dad is up there watching, he'll not let her treat any of us like that. Dad trusted Jane, but... apparently, Jane is doing Dad so much wrong! Jane, deserves nothing, not even death to pity her existence here on earth. She should suffer in silence! Evil woman.
I went to see the doctor. DrYap wasnt there, instead... there's this ugly skinny doctor. She looks ugly and pissed off. I think its menopause or something! It must be hard on u, DrJenniferYeo. I told her i had stomachache, and she said that she has to refer me to TanTockSeng Hospital, and they'll give me my MC there if i do not need to be hospitalised. What the fuck? Fuck u! Old hag, whats ur problem? When i leave, she didnt even look at me, and she said that last line, and she said bye in such a rude manner! I wanted to just leave and not pay the bill, because there's nothing to pay! I just want my medicine and my MC, and i paid $16 for her fucking consultation! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck! Fuck! Stupid doctor, go and die! U'll be in peace with Jane!
As u can see, ive a destructive and cantankerous behaviour. Its my nature, therefore its a fault within me that is questionable for every case. Including things like misunderstandings, u can based it on my character to make a conclusion. QingLun said once that he'll never believe anything i say, but he'll listen to others. Well, thats because i always lie? Do i always lie? If i lie, i'll tell u the truth after a min or so. I never tell a lie for a day. Thats the truth, seriously. And my lies arent harmful, unlike others. Anyway, after hearing things like that... i get quite upset. Especially when they say it very honestly... I'll get a thug in my heart, and i will usually just feel a missing beat. U know how it feels.
Went over to visit KunRui, and he told me that the Pipa aint ready. Actually, its kinda alright, so i paid him the fee. And i told him to help me polish up on some other minor problems. Well, he kept apologising. Its alright.
Wanted to go to school today, for the band concert. But, since im not well... i'd better stay home. So, i did. I wonder how it went...
Fairul told me that its alright. Im sure the rest are having fun drinking and eating outside now.
Jasmine approached me on MSN, to ask about some of her doubts. She came to clarify about things on my blog. Well, Jasmine, trust me, it'll never happen. Once bitten, twice shy. I'll never allow myself to set foot unto an obvious crackhole.
Its not that i think that the whole world revolves around me, but... nobody came to ask why i didnt go school today. Some did, and thanks. But, some didnt. So wierd, and so disappointing.
Whats there to be disappointed about? What the hell, WeiKang, who are u? Ur, nobody.
Bout
Well, blame it unto my line of weakness, which lies amidst the emotions of my heart. Yesterday, i made myself a promise, but due to the good show by Jonathan. I figured that... sometimes, i should try to understand others too. Im actually quite shocked to see him in this state, so... i sat beside him and shared some simple thoughts together. Still, Jonathan, one last chance only! No more next time! If another were to strike, im first out. U better think before u do anything this time! And one more piece of advice, let time be ur mentor. Take things slowly... and allow time to fit everything in. Not forgetting one more thing... u are really stupid! Use ur brain more often! U imbecile!
Didnt quite wake up in time. I was sleeping... and overslept! I deleted Jonathan's number... but i cannot forget the horrible number! So, i woke up by answering this call... Jonathan called me early in the morning. Well, i cant remember what was it for. But then, after hanging up... then i remembered that im angry with him! I should have hung up! But well... nevermind.
I took a slow ride to school. I met Jwen on the bus and she was so arrogant! She didnt wanna talk to me! Im joking... we didnt see each other until we were at the stop. Well... last night, at the stroke of midnight, i wanted to wish someone happy birthday. But, thanks to my horrible character, i was so mad that i didnt even wanna bother. So, i saw him this morning... he smiled, but i walked away. Im so evil. Anyway, i bought him a gift. Happy birthday, QingLun.
Harmony lecture was fine. I sat beside Christoven, so... there were several consequences. MrYap told him to read the first line, and he read exactly what MrYap said, like a parrot. It was so funny... Next, i knew it! Its me! I had to read the next line... because its the bad karma of sitting beside Christoven! So funny. Did i or not tell u that Christoven is the last and lost bloodline of the Hilton family?
Had lunch with YongRui, Mark and Christoven at the place where i ate yesterday. QingLun brought us there yesterday, and i think im falling in love with the food. Its so nice, quite cheap, and so homely. I love the cooking... Anyway, though it tastes normal, it has this comfortable feeling after u eat... like ur in heaven. Im exaggerating. But well, its really nice. I realised that many people from NAFA knows that place, except me! I only knew of it yesterday. Im such a turtle!
Fairul and i were having a cold war. I didnt know why. But well, i bet it has something to do with my bad mood yesterday. Thanks to u, Jonathan, stupid fool. Anyway, thanks EeWei. Without u, sometimes i feel that ive somehow lost connection with the world. I didnt know that words can get that far... but well, thanks to somebody also! I hate u.
Band concert tomorrow, please go support. As for me, im not going... because i have to go collect the Pipa! Well... Pipa more important for now! Sorry people and Fairul.
After the long tirade and cry, Jonathan and i went to play some stupid songs from this Pipa book that somebody left behind, probably by the SYT students. Anyway, i played the XiaoRuan, and he, ZhongRuan. I was improvising chords, throughout the whole hour. Well, pretty impressive how we can sound.
Band practice ended late, and after that... we went to eat at Kopitiam. I brought Samuel, LianWei and Jonathan there to eat with Fairul and EeWei. Richard came later. I ate this fish crap. I hate fish! But well... i wanted something else, so i told the chef, but he already put the fish on the grill already. So... nevermind. Jonathan dared me to eat this chilli with rice, and he'll treat me to a drink. This few days is the only time in my life that i think Jonathan is generous. My embedded minset is that Jonathan is a selfish bastard. To think of it... im still right! But, he's been quite nice recently.
Jonthan, whateva i told u, its up to u to believe or up to u to do whateva u want. Afterall... its ur life, not mine or anybody's to care about. Like u've said to me, since u need help... im here to help. And, like u've said... there are only a few around. Since im one, hope that u'll appreciate things around u more. And remember, let time be ur guide, not ur heart or ur thoughts... but anyway, u dun follow ur thoughts... because u cant think! Funny! Its the first time that i hear somebody that hates to think. Bimbotic...
Sorry. Goodnight.
Didnt quite wake up in time. I was sleeping... and overslept! I deleted Jonathan's number... but i cannot forget the horrible number! So, i woke up by answering this call... Jonathan called me early in the morning. Well, i cant remember what was it for. But then, after hanging up... then i remembered that im angry with him! I should have hung up! But well... nevermind.
I took a slow ride to school. I met Jwen on the bus and she was so arrogant! She didnt wanna talk to me! Im joking... we didnt see each other until we were at the stop. Well... last night, at the stroke of midnight, i wanted to wish someone happy birthday. But, thanks to my horrible character, i was so mad that i didnt even wanna bother. So, i saw him this morning... he smiled, but i walked away. Im so evil. Anyway, i bought him a gift. Happy birthday, QingLun.
Harmony lecture was fine. I sat beside Christoven, so... there were several consequences. MrYap told him to read the first line, and he read exactly what MrYap said, like a parrot. It was so funny... Next, i knew it! Its me! I had to read the next line... because its the bad karma of sitting beside Christoven! So funny. Did i or not tell u that Christoven is the last and lost bloodline of the Hilton family?
Had lunch with YongRui, Mark and Christoven at the place where i ate yesterday. QingLun brought us there yesterday, and i think im falling in love with the food. Its so nice, quite cheap, and so homely. I love the cooking... Anyway, though it tastes normal, it has this comfortable feeling after u eat... like ur in heaven. Im exaggerating. But well, its really nice. I realised that many people from NAFA knows that place, except me! I only knew of it yesterday. Im such a turtle!
Fairul and i were having a cold war. I didnt know why. But well, i bet it has something to do with my bad mood yesterday. Thanks to u, Jonathan, stupid fool. Anyway, thanks EeWei. Without u, sometimes i feel that ive somehow lost connection with the world. I didnt know that words can get that far... but well, thanks to somebody also! I hate u.
Band concert tomorrow, please go support. As for me, im not going... because i have to go collect the Pipa! Well... Pipa more important for now! Sorry people and Fairul.
After the long tirade and cry, Jonathan and i went to play some stupid songs from this Pipa book that somebody left behind, probably by the SYT students. Anyway, i played the XiaoRuan, and he, ZhongRuan. I was improvising chords, throughout the whole hour. Well, pretty impressive how we can sound.
Band practice ended late, and after that... we went to eat at Kopitiam. I brought Samuel, LianWei and Jonathan there to eat with Fairul and EeWei. Richard came later. I ate this fish crap. I hate fish! But well... i wanted something else, so i told the chef, but he already put the fish on the grill already. So... nevermind. Jonathan dared me to eat this chilli with rice, and he'll treat me to a drink. This few days is the only time in my life that i think Jonathan is generous. My embedded minset is that Jonathan is a selfish bastard. To think of it... im still right! But, he's been quite nice recently.
Jonthan, whateva i told u, its up to u to believe or up to u to do whateva u want. Afterall... its ur life, not mine or anybody's to care about. Like u've said to me, since u need help... im here to help. And, like u've said... there are only a few around. Since im one, hope that u'll appreciate things around u more. And remember, let time be ur guide, not ur heart or ur thoughts... but anyway, u dun follow ur thoughts... because u cant think! Funny! Its the first time that i hear somebody that hates to think. Bimbotic...
Sorry. Goodnight.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Blue And Cold
A draught has been shadowing over my life. The fountain is parched and scorched. As for me, i travel a long way to seek for the answer why. Though i may know why the wind dies or why does my heart beat. But, i do not know... why does the heavens cry?
The first drop of rain, that fell from the heavens hit me softly on my cheek. I wiped it off with my hands, and felt its sorrow and its story. It spoke no secrets nor whispered no tales. I closed my eyes to listen closely to what it has to tell me.
Things that i know, and things that i once knew, was all carried inside that tear before my eyes. All the sorrow, and all the pain, that scarred my heart can tolerate no more. Thus it fell, sunk and succumb to all challenges. Im defeated.
I owe no apology to anybody but myself. I realised that its been a tough time to strive so hard to entertain people around. Maybe thats the purpose that i should fulfill, but i disagree with myself sometimes. Ive realised that its time to give up and to just live normally with myself. I wanna make peace with myself, not with anyone that dun seem to understand me. I know that im as stubborn as a mule, and not willing to listen to anybody's advice. But, im always there to try to open my ears to listen... and ive never been given a chance to speak. Nobody listens to me, and so what else do i deserve but to shut myself up and to contemplate on my own behaviours? I know what is right, and i know what i wrong. But it doesnt always seem right, when u know that ur doing wrong.
Im doing anyone a favour, to just block myself off from their sight. Because, i realised that im such a pain... and such a clot in this tunnel of friendship. I know that many finds me terribly irritating. Therefore, im going to stop. Its hard for u guys to reject me as a friend, i understand. So, im doing anybody a favour to sever this fruitless tie. I dun want people to treat me like some dump. Im always taken for granted. Tonight, its the last straw. I swear, im going to erase some people off my memory just like somebody. I can do it, trust me. So, if u still wanna be a friend, theres nothing i can do but to advice u that im not worthy to make friends with anybody. Why? Because, im not even friends with myself.
Where does my heart beat now? With something else, or with myself? I dun even know the answers that i should. How am i going to face myself in the mirror everyday? Im so ashamed of u, WeiKang.
Character clashes are common weakness within friends. So, either u learn to live with it, or u stay away and dun bother about it at all. For those who are friends for a long time, its wise not to put up cold wars between each other...
Well, great. I simply dun preach what i say... because everything is such a contradiction!
Last night, i had a great time. But well, it didnt last long as ive expected. The joy turned into hatred now. I feel most at ease now that ive managed to get back what others owe me before i cannot remember who.
Im in no mood to talk about anything now. But for those who might be curious... nothing happened today, other than choir and ensemble practice. Soon, every practice will turn colder... and colder.
The first drop of rain, that fell from the heavens hit me softly on my cheek. I wiped it off with my hands, and felt its sorrow and its story. It spoke no secrets nor whispered no tales. I closed my eyes to listen closely to what it has to tell me.
Things that i know, and things that i once knew, was all carried inside that tear before my eyes. All the sorrow, and all the pain, that scarred my heart can tolerate no more. Thus it fell, sunk and succumb to all challenges. Im defeated.
I owe no apology to anybody but myself. I realised that its been a tough time to strive so hard to entertain people around. Maybe thats the purpose that i should fulfill, but i disagree with myself sometimes. Ive realised that its time to give up and to just live normally with myself. I wanna make peace with myself, not with anyone that dun seem to understand me. I know that im as stubborn as a mule, and not willing to listen to anybody's advice. But, im always there to try to open my ears to listen... and ive never been given a chance to speak. Nobody listens to me, and so what else do i deserve but to shut myself up and to contemplate on my own behaviours? I know what is right, and i know what i wrong. But it doesnt always seem right, when u know that ur doing wrong.
Im doing anyone a favour, to just block myself off from their sight. Because, i realised that im such a pain... and such a clot in this tunnel of friendship. I know that many finds me terribly irritating. Therefore, im going to stop. Its hard for u guys to reject me as a friend, i understand. So, im doing anybody a favour to sever this fruitless tie. I dun want people to treat me like some dump. Im always taken for granted. Tonight, its the last straw. I swear, im going to erase some people off my memory just like somebody. I can do it, trust me. So, if u still wanna be a friend, theres nothing i can do but to advice u that im not worthy to make friends with anybody. Why? Because, im not even friends with myself.
Where does my heart beat now? With something else, or with myself? I dun even know the answers that i should. How am i going to face myself in the mirror everyday? Im so ashamed of u, WeiKang.
Character clashes are common weakness within friends. So, either u learn to live with it, or u stay away and dun bother about it at all. For those who are friends for a long time, its wise not to put up cold wars between each other...
Well, great. I simply dun preach what i say... because everything is such a contradiction!
Last night, i had a great time. But well, it didnt last long as ive expected. The joy turned into hatred now. I feel most at ease now that ive managed to get back what others owe me before i cannot remember who.
Im in no mood to talk about anything now. But for those who might be curious... nothing happened today, other than choir and ensemble practice. Soon, every practice will turn colder... and colder.
Trick Or Treat ?
A negative million thanks to Jonathan for the treat, and the ride home... Honestly, after knowing him for 4 years, and for 3 years of not talking to each other, its the first time i got a treat from him! Well, its not that i wanna say anything... but, i think its alright not to pay me back what u owe me, its fine. Ur welcome!
I'll be nice...
Thanks.
Raymond! I still dunno what to do. Today, he asked me about the competition time, and i was so nervous when i recieved his message! Im so evil! Raymond! Im so sorry!
I just returned a favour by adding a song in Jonathan's blog. I hope he'll like it, because... i really do! For those who might think im nice, think again! Im never that nice! Im evil!
Raymond! Im so sorry!
Woke up at around noon. Ate uncle's noodle, and let me tell u... it tasted like... whateava. And the vegetable is like raw seaweed fresh from the sea! Its super salty! I think those with kidney problems will die immediately. Unhesitatingly, i took my apple juice and almost wanted to pour it into my noodle just to enjoy my meal better! Imagine...
Well, without a Pipa... i didnt know what else i can do. I went through my Pipa CDs, and i selected some to play later. I took bus to school, and during the ride, i was smiling to myself. I was thinking about the past. Some memories will never fail to bring a smile to my face. But, as for some others, it faithfully too, never fail to bring me a frown.
Met a few people in school. Jonathan had to leave for work, so i hung around with people like MuHe. During the few hours, i got to know MuHe better and we talked about certain things. As for me, i also practiced! Right... i played with Jonathan's Ruan. And also scolded this bastard at the door. He was scolding all the vulgarities that i know, well... i scolded back too. Guess who was at the door?
Wrong!
Its QingLun. Well, we were only fooling around...
Andy is having a recital next week. For those who are interested with the Dizi, or with the idea of fusion music, i encourage u guys to go support him!
I made MuHe to do the human for sale thingi. He is worth so little! Poor thing... im joking! Well, but seriously... he is worth so little as from the result of the quiz. So funny... And its also from there that i learn abit more about him. Before that, i had dinner with him. I didnt eat, because i ate uncle's bad cooking during noon. I had no appetite to eat.
Jonathan wanted to treat me and somebody else to ice-cream. How nice? Well, not! I know he'll never be so nice to me one. So, the hidden motive is to bring someone else along. Im joking, maybe he is really... trying to be nice. Right! Samuel didnt wanna go, i think he was lazy to get out of the house. Then, MuHe didnt wanna go too... because they aint that close. In the end, i went with Richard.
I was lucky enough to see Richard at ground level. So, we went to meet Evelyn at TCC. We were walking to Bugis with MuHe. Well, he didnt dare to go in... because he's afraid that we might be disturing her with her friend. MuHe went off already by then. So, she spotted us outside, and she talked to us for quite awhile outside TCC, then she went back to entertain her friend. Richard and i were walking around aimlessly. Well, i told him that i'll do whateva he do... so, he decided not to go into the cafe... so, me too. Eventually... we went to play again!
Spent around $2. We were wasting time, while waiting for Jonathan. He took a cab over after work. He is working at Gelare, dunno as what... but i know he has to wash dishes. Lucky him! Today, he got his pay! Around $200 right? Thats quite alright... i think. Well, goodjob! Keep it up...
Im so sarcastic.
Im not!
I dunno.
Well, he treated us to steamboat! Trust me, it must have cost him a bomb! It was around $70, and with the cab fare, $35. So, he spent around $100 within the first few hours of his pay. Thats very generous, seriously. QingLun went off first, i told him to look for me after his lesson... and he didnt! I mean... by animal instincts, of course u would go around and say bye right? Unless ur so... unfriendly! Whateva! Anyway, QingLun hates me. I hate him too.
During supper, we were exchanging several super lame jokes. With Richard around, it felt so much better. I cannot imagine eating with Jonathan alone, we'll surely be speechless. Or... our topic would revolve around something. Well, theres limited things we can talk about. Richard was there to brighten things up and to open new topics to venture about. We started eating before midnight... and we ate for 2 hours! The shop was closing already... the workers were sitting around after clearing up... and some were talking on the phone outside, and one was smoking outside. They were all very nice! Very polite and kind, because they didnt chase us out... We were trying our best to finish up whateva we can. We ordered plenty of food... though still not as much as the other time with Dedric and YouGuo. Well, we managed to finish things up. We ate alot of me. I mean... pork. Jonathan, right? Then, there were kidneys and livers too. Loved them all!
Of course, im sensitive enough to understand the intention behind the sequence of the stations. Why not me first? Funny... Well, obviously... Jonathan is madly... stupid. He is one really disgusting person! I hate people like that. Anyway, goodluck tomorrow. I hope u'll survive through lunch with whoeva ur going to eat with. I hope i can tag along... im joking! I'll give some free space for some bridges to draw closer.
I hate everyone.
Raymond! Im so sorry...
Today is LianWei's birthday, and nobody remembers. Why? Because nobody knows! Well, thanks for telling me! Happy birthday to u, LianWei! U must enjoy urself... i asked u out, but u dun wanna give face... Im joking. Well, i'll treat u to lunch tomorrow! Sorry, dun like that. Next year, we celebrate! I know... still a long way to go. But still, look forward to it!
Happy birthday again, to LianWei. Will he grow older if i wish him again?
Dun dream too much, WeiKang. Rest well, and prepare urself for more hopeless thoughts tomorrow. Goodnight, everybody.
I'll be nice...
Thanks.
Raymond! I still dunno what to do. Today, he asked me about the competition time, and i was so nervous when i recieved his message! Im so evil! Raymond! Im so sorry!
I just returned a favour by adding a song in Jonathan's blog. I hope he'll like it, because... i really do! For those who might think im nice, think again! Im never that nice! Im evil!
Raymond! Im so sorry!
Woke up at around noon. Ate uncle's noodle, and let me tell u... it tasted like... whateava. And the vegetable is like raw seaweed fresh from the sea! Its super salty! I think those with kidney problems will die immediately. Unhesitatingly, i took my apple juice and almost wanted to pour it into my noodle just to enjoy my meal better! Imagine...
Well, without a Pipa... i didnt know what else i can do. I went through my Pipa CDs, and i selected some to play later. I took bus to school, and during the ride, i was smiling to myself. I was thinking about the past. Some memories will never fail to bring a smile to my face. But, as for some others, it faithfully too, never fail to bring me a frown.
Met a few people in school. Jonathan had to leave for work, so i hung around with people like MuHe. During the few hours, i got to know MuHe better and we talked about certain things. As for me, i also practiced! Right... i played with Jonathan's Ruan. And also scolded this bastard at the door. He was scolding all the vulgarities that i know, well... i scolded back too. Guess who was at the door?
Wrong!
Its QingLun. Well, we were only fooling around...
Andy is having a recital next week. For those who are interested with the Dizi, or with the idea of fusion music, i encourage u guys to go support him!
I made MuHe to do the human for sale thingi. He is worth so little! Poor thing... im joking! Well, but seriously... he is worth so little as from the result of the quiz. So funny... And its also from there that i learn abit more about him. Before that, i had dinner with him. I didnt eat, because i ate uncle's bad cooking during noon. I had no appetite to eat.
Jonathan wanted to treat me and somebody else to ice-cream. How nice? Well, not! I know he'll never be so nice to me one. So, the hidden motive is to bring someone else along. Im joking, maybe he is really... trying to be nice. Right! Samuel didnt wanna go, i think he was lazy to get out of the house. Then, MuHe didnt wanna go too... because they aint that close. In the end, i went with Richard.
I was lucky enough to see Richard at ground level. So, we went to meet Evelyn at TCC. We were walking to Bugis with MuHe. Well, he didnt dare to go in... because he's afraid that we might be disturing her with her friend. MuHe went off already by then. So, she spotted us outside, and she talked to us for quite awhile outside TCC, then she went back to entertain her friend. Richard and i were walking around aimlessly. Well, i told him that i'll do whateva he do... so, he decided not to go into the cafe... so, me too. Eventually... we went to play again!
Spent around $2. We were wasting time, while waiting for Jonathan. He took a cab over after work. He is working at Gelare, dunno as what... but i know he has to wash dishes. Lucky him! Today, he got his pay! Around $200 right? Thats quite alright... i think. Well, goodjob! Keep it up...
Im so sarcastic.
Im not!
I dunno.
Well, he treated us to steamboat! Trust me, it must have cost him a bomb! It was around $70, and with the cab fare, $35. So, he spent around $100 within the first few hours of his pay. Thats very generous, seriously. QingLun went off first, i told him to look for me after his lesson... and he didnt! I mean... by animal instincts, of course u would go around and say bye right? Unless ur so... unfriendly! Whateva! Anyway, QingLun hates me. I hate him too.
During supper, we were exchanging several super lame jokes. With Richard around, it felt so much better. I cannot imagine eating with Jonathan alone, we'll surely be speechless. Or... our topic would revolve around something. Well, theres limited things we can talk about. Richard was there to brighten things up and to open new topics to venture about. We started eating before midnight... and we ate for 2 hours! The shop was closing already... the workers were sitting around after clearing up... and some were talking on the phone outside, and one was smoking outside. They were all very nice! Very polite and kind, because they didnt chase us out... We were trying our best to finish up whateva we can. We ordered plenty of food... though still not as much as the other time with Dedric and YouGuo. Well, we managed to finish things up. We ate alot of me. I mean... pork. Jonathan, right? Then, there were kidneys and livers too. Loved them all!
Of course, im sensitive enough to understand the intention behind the sequence of the stations. Why not me first? Funny... Well, obviously... Jonathan is madly... stupid. He is one really disgusting person! I hate people like that. Anyway, goodluck tomorrow. I hope u'll survive through lunch with whoeva ur going to eat with. I hope i can tag along... im joking! I'll give some free space for some bridges to draw closer.
I hate everyone.
Raymond! Im so sorry...
Today is LianWei's birthday, and nobody remembers. Why? Because nobody knows! Well, thanks for telling me! Happy birthday to u, LianWei! U must enjoy urself... i asked u out, but u dun wanna give face... Im joking. Well, i'll treat u to lunch tomorrow! Sorry, dun like that. Next year, we celebrate! I know... still a long way to go. But still, look forward to it!
Happy birthday again, to LianWei. Will he grow older if i wish him again?
Dun dream too much, WeiKang. Rest well, and prepare urself for more hopeless thoughts tomorrow. Goodnight, everybody.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Self-Condemnatory
I deem it as the climax of a series of unfortunate events. Dig the dirt with my polished nails, and shower myself till i drown into the earth. I just feel like burying myself with mud now and allow myself to cry out really loud. I did something terribly bad, i must say that i deserve death and not ever to be resurrected again. Im so bad, im so wrong! Please remove my face, for that shame as devoured and corrupted my features. Im such a sinful person, and ive never felt like that before. Today, is the worse day of my life! Actually, this similar event cloned itself from once a nightmare that happened 4 years ago back in ACS. It happened to Jonathan, my Pipa senior, and indirectly it left a scar that wounded me for life. And for the first time ever again for history to repeat itself with such close reciprocity, i feel that i cannot take another shock like this ever again! The synonymity is jarring, not just to the ears, it also impaled into my eyes with several images of the terrible event. The fall was hard-nosed. Its impact was so great, and it attracted massive attention from people around. I stood there watching, helplessly, just as the others did. I didnt know what to do... and just as then, train of thoughts crashed into other several similar thoughts.
Though i felt a certain overwhelming spirit pouncing upon me, i felt heavy like a rock that sinks deep into the ocean. Im lying there, on the oceanbed, struggling hard to break free of my shackle. Im an anchor. A rusty old piece of iron.
I woke up this morning feeling bad. I slept late last night, i was talking to Jonathan on the phone for a short period before heading for my games. Jonathan was chatting with Samuel, as for the rest, i didnt bother. I knew something aint right about today. I woke up on the wrong side of bed? The air-con was leaking, with droplets dripping hard on my forehead... like a certain rhythm which inspired me for my composition. Anyway, thats not the point! I knew something bad is going to happen... and just like ive mentioned above in that 2 very dramatic paragraphs, it apparently did. Not just that, it also left quite an impact on me.
It was terrible! The sight, the sound and the... experience! It was horrible! It was abhorrent, disastrous, vile, harrowing and really disturbing! Till now, im suffering from the side effects... my head hurts, with the pieces of trains left behind after the monstrous event. Shocking as it is, i think im going to petrify myself even further if im going to keep thinking about it.
Its no time for regrets and songs! I held the gravely injured up and hurried for a cab. It needed help. I couldnt hear its breathing, neither could i feel its pulse. I thought it was dead then, and my hands were shaking as i wiped my sweat off my perspiring body. I was drenched and clammy. I cant be ever more grateful for the weather, its so bloody humid and hot, i couldnt even get some sympathy from the heavens.
From a distance, glowed a shiny plate. A knight on a horse, that came with a big heart, to save the damsel in distress. Not me, im not the nymphet in the situation. But as for the distress section, yes i was too. The shiny object rode rather quickly from a distance. It was so hot, i thought it was merely a mirage. But i thought not... because it reads... 'comfort'.
Its a cab! I hopped on and told the uncle to drive me to the nearest funny farm. Anyway, a funny farm is an informal term for hospital or psychiatric institution. Well, it rode fast like a band-aid wagon. Can u smell the sarcasm? Well, its right here, and it smells like shit! The stupid old man drove like a dead snail. I think i'll be in China already if i were to just float on the sea at the speed he was going. Great... i needed to borrow time, and i all i can remember is MrYap's borrowed chords. I needed time or else... im afraid that the injuries will affect the whole body or spread around like a plague of infection.
Finally, it arrived. I paid the driver and took my flight. First, i flap really hard... then i realise, i cant fly! So, i walked over to KunRui's house.
For some, u may already realise whats happening by now, because i mentioned KunRui's name. So... i took it upstairs and he told me his plans for the ritual to bring back its spirit. Almost dead, but he gave me hopes that nothing will happen to the broken neck. Great, let me tell u now. I broke Raymond's Pipa neck! Fuck me! Im so terrible! I feel so horrible! Im so damn bloody sorry Raymond! I promised to take good care of it, but... im so sorry! Nothing happened to the body, because it dropped from a short height, but its neck couldnt take the pressure and broke off! I was stunned.
Raymond, im so freaking sorry! I didnt mean for anything like this to happen! I wanna go downstair and scream my lungs out. But i thought, maybe its not very nice... because i dunno how to put it back. Anyway, who is going to clear the mess too?
Raymond!
Anyway, the Pipa is with KunRui now. He is taking care of it, and he promised me that he'll do his best to seal up the injury, so that it'll not break loose again. I trust him on that, because he did 3 Pipas for me already.
Im so sorry, Raymond. Im so sorry!
Raymond!
Im so sorry!
Not just remorseful, im also conscience-stricken. I realised that im such a unreliable person. Ive made promises before, but in my life, ive broken a few. But, i didnt mean for all those to happen! Its all an acident. I know, Raymond, u must be feeling damn angry and furious now. But, theres nothing i can do... but to only undo what ive done by doing what i can best. Though a scar will leave a mark there and in ur heart, but... theres really nothing more i can do. How about lunch?
Im joking! Im so fucking sorry!
Please forgive me! Please!
Im sincerely apologetic and guild-ridden. Repentant or not, thats another case. Why? Because, theres nothing to repent, i didnt mean for all those to happen! But, true... how can i be so fucking careless? What was i doing? What was i thinking? Im horrible!
WeiKang is the worse person on earth! Im shamefaced.
Stupid me. Idiotic me. Beat me, thrash me up. I dun care anymore...
Raymond! Sob...
I wanna cry now.
Raymond!
Great, i'll first lose a friend, then i'll lose my life. Great! This is so great! Anyway, happy birthday to Angela! Happy birthday to u, ur 19 this year.
Back into my series of rueful vendetta... I just hate myself! Why am i like that? If im going to tell Mom, trust me... she'll blow ur head and scold me like she's never scolded me in my life before! She told me many times not to borrow other people's things. Great, after today... i believe nobody will ever lend me anything anymore! Not even a pencil or toilet paper! Im so scared... but i must be honest, so i chose to blog it out.
Great! No more friends! No more! Not even the auntie that sells soya drinks. No more! Im miserable, and thats what i deserve for my pitiful little life. Im such a cheap cake, not even contemptible enough for anything! Im so unimportant and scummy. Im wretched, terribly.
My sheep as sunk into the depths of Marianna. From there, everything is worthless already. Its so deep into the abyss that nobody will be able to get it back from there. No mortal beings will be able to bring it back again. Now, my hope all lies in KunRui's miracle work! He'll bring the Pipa back into life, so as it may run free again in the fields like any child can.
Run my child, fight hard for ur life! Go, Pipa!
Raymond!
Im so sorry! Please forgive me! Please! Im sorry!
Paltry.
I know, im at such a depressant. Its a pathetic sight... and i cannot lie to myself blatantly or to anyone that its not my fault. Because, it clearly... is my fault! I feel so bad! I cannot eat for weeks, to satisfy my own guilt. Not even weeks, probably my whole life!
Memento mori!
Anyway, thanks to QingLun for the concern. He is the only person that called to check up on me, and to give me words of encouragement. All the time, he has always been there. Always there, to mock at me, and to pull my up everytime i fall. Thanks QingLun. Not forgetting one more person, who has showed concern in almost everyway he can, and that'll be dear Christoven. SiHan, also... sometimes.
Raymond!
Im so sorry! What can i do to punish myself? Please tell me! Please allow myself to be punished! Please do not be merciful! I deserve no mercy! Kill me.
Raymond!
Im sorry. Goodnight.
Though i felt a certain overwhelming spirit pouncing upon me, i felt heavy like a rock that sinks deep into the ocean. Im lying there, on the oceanbed, struggling hard to break free of my shackle. Im an anchor. A rusty old piece of iron.
I woke up this morning feeling bad. I slept late last night, i was talking to Jonathan on the phone for a short period before heading for my games. Jonathan was chatting with Samuel, as for the rest, i didnt bother. I knew something aint right about today. I woke up on the wrong side of bed? The air-con was leaking, with droplets dripping hard on my forehead... like a certain rhythm which inspired me for my composition. Anyway, thats not the point! I knew something bad is going to happen... and just like ive mentioned above in that 2 very dramatic paragraphs, it apparently did. Not just that, it also left quite an impact on me.
It was terrible! The sight, the sound and the... experience! It was horrible! It was abhorrent, disastrous, vile, harrowing and really disturbing! Till now, im suffering from the side effects... my head hurts, with the pieces of trains left behind after the monstrous event. Shocking as it is, i think im going to petrify myself even further if im going to keep thinking about it.
Its no time for regrets and songs! I held the gravely injured up and hurried for a cab. It needed help. I couldnt hear its breathing, neither could i feel its pulse. I thought it was dead then, and my hands were shaking as i wiped my sweat off my perspiring body. I was drenched and clammy. I cant be ever more grateful for the weather, its so bloody humid and hot, i couldnt even get some sympathy from the heavens.
From a distance, glowed a shiny plate. A knight on a horse, that came with a big heart, to save the damsel in distress. Not me, im not the nymphet in the situation. But as for the distress section, yes i was too. The shiny object rode rather quickly from a distance. It was so hot, i thought it was merely a mirage. But i thought not... because it reads... 'comfort'.
Its a cab! I hopped on and told the uncle to drive me to the nearest funny farm. Anyway, a funny farm is an informal term for hospital or psychiatric institution. Well, it rode fast like a band-aid wagon. Can u smell the sarcasm? Well, its right here, and it smells like shit! The stupid old man drove like a dead snail. I think i'll be in China already if i were to just float on the sea at the speed he was going. Great... i needed to borrow time, and i all i can remember is MrYap's borrowed chords. I needed time or else... im afraid that the injuries will affect the whole body or spread around like a plague of infection.
Finally, it arrived. I paid the driver and took my flight. First, i flap really hard... then i realise, i cant fly! So, i walked over to KunRui's house.
For some, u may already realise whats happening by now, because i mentioned KunRui's name. So... i took it upstairs and he told me his plans for the ritual to bring back its spirit. Almost dead, but he gave me hopes that nothing will happen to the broken neck. Great, let me tell u now. I broke Raymond's Pipa neck! Fuck me! Im so terrible! I feel so horrible! Im so damn bloody sorry Raymond! I promised to take good care of it, but... im so sorry! Nothing happened to the body, because it dropped from a short height, but its neck couldnt take the pressure and broke off! I was stunned.
Raymond, im so freaking sorry! I didnt mean for anything like this to happen! I wanna go downstair and scream my lungs out. But i thought, maybe its not very nice... because i dunno how to put it back. Anyway, who is going to clear the mess too?
Raymond!
Anyway, the Pipa is with KunRui now. He is taking care of it, and he promised me that he'll do his best to seal up the injury, so that it'll not break loose again. I trust him on that, because he did 3 Pipas for me already.
Im so sorry, Raymond. Im so sorry!
Raymond!
Im so sorry!
Not just remorseful, im also conscience-stricken. I realised that im such a unreliable person. Ive made promises before, but in my life, ive broken a few. But, i didnt mean for all those to happen! Its all an acident. I know, Raymond, u must be feeling damn angry and furious now. But, theres nothing i can do... but to only undo what ive done by doing what i can best. Though a scar will leave a mark there and in ur heart, but... theres really nothing more i can do. How about lunch?
Im joking! Im so fucking sorry!
Please forgive me! Please!
Im sincerely apologetic and guild-ridden. Repentant or not, thats another case. Why? Because, theres nothing to repent, i didnt mean for all those to happen! But, true... how can i be so fucking careless? What was i doing? What was i thinking? Im horrible!
WeiKang is the worse person on earth! Im shamefaced.
Stupid me. Idiotic me. Beat me, thrash me up. I dun care anymore...
Raymond! Sob...
I wanna cry now.
Raymond!
Great, i'll first lose a friend, then i'll lose my life. Great! This is so great! Anyway, happy birthday to Angela! Happy birthday to u, ur 19 this year.
Back into my series of rueful vendetta... I just hate myself! Why am i like that? If im going to tell Mom, trust me... she'll blow ur head and scold me like she's never scolded me in my life before! She told me many times not to borrow other people's things. Great, after today... i believe nobody will ever lend me anything anymore! Not even a pencil or toilet paper! Im so scared... but i must be honest, so i chose to blog it out.
Great! No more friends! No more! Not even the auntie that sells soya drinks. No more! Im miserable, and thats what i deserve for my pitiful little life. Im such a cheap cake, not even contemptible enough for anything! Im so unimportant and scummy. Im wretched, terribly.
My sheep as sunk into the depths of Marianna. From there, everything is worthless already. Its so deep into the abyss that nobody will be able to get it back from there. No mortal beings will be able to bring it back again. Now, my hope all lies in KunRui's miracle work! He'll bring the Pipa back into life, so as it may run free again in the fields like any child can.
Run my child, fight hard for ur life! Go, Pipa!
Raymond!
Im so sorry! Please forgive me! Please! Im sorry!
Paltry.
I know, im at such a depressant. Its a pathetic sight... and i cannot lie to myself blatantly or to anyone that its not my fault. Because, it clearly... is my fault! I feel so bad! I cannot eat for weeks, to satisfy my own guilt. Not even weeks, probably my whole life!
Memento mori!
Anyway, thanks to QingLun for the concern. He is the only person that called to check up on me, and to give me words of encouragement. All the time, he has always been there. Always there, to mock at me, and to pull my up everytime i fall. Thanks QingLun. Not forgetting one more person, who has showed concern in almost everyway he can, and that'll be dear Christoven. SiHan, also... sometimes.
Raymond!
Im so sorry! What can i do to punish myself? Please tell me! Please allow myself to be punished! Please do not be merciful! I deserve no mercy! Kill me.
Raymond!
Im sorry. Goodnight.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Second Fiddle
For those who dunno... theres this fun alphabet thing at the bottom of the daily post. Its fun, go play with it, drag it and then let it go to form words, and it'll stay there forever also. So fun right? Anyway, today, i thought i'll be going through a tough time in the morning... but who knows, AlbertLin wasnt free suddenly. I hope he is alright.
Last night, i went to take the Pipa from Raymond's place, with Christoven. After which, i took a long ride home. At home, i tried playing the Pipa... and i think it sounds kinda bad. Not that its bad, but i think it has gotten worse. It was once a very good Pipa, i think its the weather and stuff. U know, instruments like Pipa just gets worse everyday. Its possible to build up a foundation of good sound, but its hard to maintain such an instrument.
I took it to school today, so i can try it out. Well, it sounded fine, and surely better than those that ive used for this period of time. Thanks again to Raymond for the Pipa! Anyway, performance class was fun today, because i dun have to play. It was nice watching people stress away with their instruments in hand... and their focus all arrayed just to perform for us. However, there were some that were extremely nervous, and others who are already adapted to the stress. QingLun didnt look bothered about the performance class. As for me, when im ready, im ready, when im not, i'll worry. Anthea played really well today, she was the first to play. Its kinda obvious that she has improved tremendously. Parlous efforts and probably some really considerable amount of time spent on practicing the piece. However, like MrYeo as said, it might be the last best song that she has. True, Anthea, u have to brush ur socks up. Its time to play some other pieces and expose urself to more different type of pieces. I agree that today's piece is her best piece, but i certainly hope that its not the last. Go, Anthea.
JunRu was as ive expected. Traditionally and classically trained. I think he has the movements as well as the music, but he was opening his leg so wide that i was kinda distracted by his legs most of the time! Well, he played very well. Jonathan on the other hand was nervous, and he didnt do his best up there. His sound was raw and he had this noise when he does his tremolo. Well, its alright... its a common fault in plucked strings musicians. But, i noticed that it is mostly found in the Ruan players. In Pipa players, its such a common thing already, that i think its now already a norm! But true, we can train ourselves to avoid it, or maybe... another way would be to distract the audience with some other virtues. ShuMin's performance was good, and according to Jonathan, her performance of that piece is the best, better than Anthea's and mine. I dunno whether to agree or not, but to a certain extent, i have to.
I noticed that im not as cantankerous as before! Well, its not my fault whether i am or not, but it seems that back then, TingTing and i were always scolding each other. Of course, in a friendly way. But, it has stopped since the start of this new term.
I prepared my composition motives before class, and i submitted mine to DrGoh during our tutorial. I had to share my poem with the class. Anyway, thanks to Jeremy for his lovely poem! I used his poem, and there was quite a commotion when i told them that the author is him. Anyway, i did quite a bad presentation of the poem. Mark did very well! Right? Anyway, YinXuan's poem rocked the entire galaxy!
Practiced for a short period, then after that... i went downstairs to eat with SiHan. We met up with Fairul and EeWei at the prata stall. Fairul was so nice. Dun worry, im not going to repeat the angel thingi again. He treated me to a plate of noodle and drinks! Anyway, he owes me money, a huge sum... which is close to... a few thousand? No, only $60. But well, i figured that i'll never get it back in cash. Therefore, i'll use it as some investment, like some voucher too. So, he bought me lunch. Richard called later, and he asked me out for game. Well, im on!
Though im broke, i dun have the urge not to spend. So, i had to borrow money from QingLun and Jonathan for the game. It was really fun, i managed to kill and get my score up to the second on the list. We lost terribly though, but individual scores were fine. Richard left earlier, and i think its not his gaming day, because he didnt play well... I noticed that people usually would get affected by their gaming results. Some people might turn out angry, due to unhealthy competition in games. Some will spoil their mood if they lose, and some will overjoy when they win. As for me, im neither affected or bothered... because, its just a game! Come on...
I helped Williana with her blog, and she managed to create another one by herself! Greetings to her new blog, and u can find it at the tagboard. I think she'll find the joy in blogging just as i do. Have fun, Williana!
I wasted my time outside along the lift with Jonathan. ShuMin came later, and we went through some scores and played some pieces together. I bet we sounded chaotic. Jonathan was practicing, and feeling kinda depressed due to his performance at noon. Its the high expectation that people have that creates this depression in them when they dun get what they want. Sometimes, its always there, this major irritating problem. It works like that, when u want something, u dun get it, like when i want a bright tone, i dun get it. Its fuming, i know. So, he was practicing hard... and then, his string snapped! At that moment, i wanted to pop some alcoholic liquor and sing some songs for celebration. But, im nice, i didnt.
He sat around, looking dumb, rolling about with the chair. I was practicing and talking cock with people around. One of which would be Edric, and the other, Alan. We had fun talking cock and playing stupid songs. Then, ZhengYi came and sat around too. Then...
My Mom came to fetch me home today. Wanted to give Jonathan a lift to his bus-stop, but he refused. So, from there, i figured that something is not right. As ive guessed, why so secretive? I feel that sometimes, we're so close and we talk about things, but one thing u might not know. When u tell me things that aint true, i get disappointed, because... i happen to know the truth. Anyway, im not talking about u, if u think i am.
Went back school again to take my score. I almost forgot about rehearsal tomorrow at TP. So boring...
Yawn...
One more thing! During the ride, Mom irritated me like how i would to people. To think of it, she is as pesky as i am at times! Funny.
Goodnight, thats it for tonight, though ive actually a chunk more to add on. Sometimes, enough is enough. But though i cant get enough of something, i have to stop... because, it is indeed enough.
Last night, i went to take the Pipa from Raymond's place, with Christoven. After which, i took a long ride home. At home, i tried playing the Pipa... and i think it sounds kinda bad. Not that its bad, but i think it has gotten worse. It was once a very good Pipa, i think its the weather and stuff. U know, instruments like Pipa just gets worse everyday. Its possible to build up a foundation of good sound, but its hard to maintain such an instrument.
I took it to school today, so i can try it out. Well, it sounded fine, and surely better than those that ive used for this period of time. Thanks again to Raymond for the Pipa! Anyway, performance class was fun today, because i dun have to play. It was nice watching people stress away with their instruments in hand... and their focus all arrayed just to perform for us. However, there were some that were extremely nervous, and others who are already adapted to the stress. QingLun didnt look bothered about the performance class. As for me, when im ready, im ready, when im not, i'll worry. Anthea played really well today, she was the first to play. Its kinda obvious that she has improved tremendously. Parlous efforts and probably some really considerable amount of time spent on practicing the piece. However, like MrYeo as said, it might be the last best song that she has. True, Anthea, u have to brush ur socks up. Its time to play some other pieces and expose urself to more different type of pieces. I agree that today's piece is her best piece, but i certainly hope that its not the last. Go, Anthea.
JunRu was as ive expected. Traditionally and classically trained. I think he has the movements as well as the music, but he was opening his leg so wide that i was kinda distracted by his legs most of the time! Well, he played very well. Jonathan on the other hand was nervous, and he didnt do his best up there. His sound was raw and he had this noise when he does his tremolo. Well, its alright... its a common fault in plucked strings musicians. But, i noticed that it is mostly found in the Ruan players. In Pipa players, its such a common thing already, that i think its now already a norm! But true, we can train ourselves to avoid it, or maybe... another way would be to distract the audience with some other virtues. ShuMin's performance was good, and according to Jonathan, her performance of that piece is the best, better than Anthea's and mine. I dunno whether to agree or not, but to a certain extent, i have to.
I noticed that im not as cantankerous as before! Well, its not my fault whether i am or not, but it seems that back then, TingTing and i were always scolding each other. Of course, in a friendly way. But, it has stopped since the start of this new term.
I prepared my composition motives before class, and i submitted mine to DrGoh during our tutorial. I had to share my poem with the class. Anyway, thanks to Jeremy for his lovely poem! I used his poem, and there was quite a commotion when i told them that the author is him. Anyway, i did quite a bad presentation of the poem. Mark did very well! Right? Anyway, YinXuan's poem rocked the entire galaxy!
Practiced for a short period, then after that... i went downstairs to eat with SiHan. We met up with Fairul and EeWei at the prata stall. Fairul was so nice. Dun worry, im not going to repeat the angel thingi again. He treated me to a plate of noodle and drinks! Anyway, he owes me money, a huge sum... which is close to... a few thousand? No, only $60. But well, i figured that i'll never get it back in cash. Therefore, i'll use it as some investment, like some voucher too. So, he bought me lunch. Richard called later, and he asked me out for game. Well, im on!
Though im broke, i dun have the urge not to spend. So, i had to borrow money from QingLun and Jonathan for the game. It was really fun, i managed to kill and get my score up to the second on the list. We lost terribly though, but individual scores were fine. Richard left earlier, and i think its not his gaming day, because he didnt play well... I noticed that people usually would get affected by their gaming results. Some people might turn out angry, due to unhealthy competition in games. Some will spoil their mood if they lose, and some will overjoy when they win. As for me, im neither affected or bothered... because, its just a game! Come on...
I helped Williana with her blog, and she managed to create another one by herself! Greetings to her new blog, and u can find it at the tagboard. I think she'll find the joy in blogging just as i do. Have fun, Williana!
I wasted my time outside along the lift with Jonathan. ShuMin came later, and we went through some scores and played some pieces together. I bet we sounded chaotic. Jonathan was practicing, and feeling kinda depressed due to his performance at noon. Its the high expectation that people have that creates this depression in them when they dun get what they want. Sometimes, its always there, this major irritating problem. It works like that, when u want something, u dun get it, like when i want a bright tone, i dun get it. Its fuming, i know. So, he was practicing hard... and then, his string snapped! At that moment, i wanted to pop some alcoholic liquor and sing some songs for celebration. But, im nice, i didnt.
He sat around, looking dumb, rolling about with the chair. I was practicing and talking cock with people around. One of which would be Edric, and the other, Alan. We had fun talking cock and playing stupid songs. Then, ZhengYi came and sat around too. Then...
My Mom came to fetch me home today. Wanted to give Jonathan a lift to his bus-stop, but he refused. So, from there, i figured that something is not right. As ive guessed, why so secretive? I feel that sometimes, we're so close and we talk about things, but one thing u might not know. When u tell me things that aint true, i get disappointed, because... i happen to know the truth. Anyway, im not talking about u, if u think i am.
Went back school again to take my score. I almost forgot about rehearsal tomorrow at TP. So boring...
Yawn...
One more thing! During the ride, Mom irritated me like how i would to people. To think of it, she is as pesky as i am at times! Funny.
Goodnight, thats it for tonight, though ive actually a chunk more to add on. Sometimes, enough is enough. But though i cant get enough of something, i have to stop... because, it is indeed enough.
Beta Blog
This is pretty amazing... MSN is facing a really high volume of usage, therefore... i must wait for my request to be granted. I just wanna check my mail...
Cool right? Thanks to Williana for reading my blog! Well, then im sure u have observed the changes. Yes, i was doing it in school. Im going to do one tomorrow when im free for Williana, since i promised. Anyway, ive changed the template. Why? Because my old one has been screwed up by me! I was trying out the new benefits and tools of this version. Yes, i changed my blog into the Google version. So... the colour box was filled with so many different colours. I tried changing one or two... but in the end, there's this box in my blog that has been changed to the colour of shit. It looked horrible, and sure smell terrible too! No matter how i refresh and set to default, the pile of shit is still there. Therefore, ive no chance... but to change my template. Sad right? But nevermind, im still kinda elated that it can finally be so well organised, and without the need to put in complicating codes for the template for some of the elements. I also helped Jonathan with his tagboard, in fact... i signed up quite a few accounts for him already, just to get the necessary codes. See, im so nice. Such a disgrace for self-praise right?
Late last night, i was playing online with Jonathan. Andy was with him, apparantly, he stayed over at Jonathan's place. They were talking heart to heart, and hopefully they had a good time. Ive never enjoyed my stay over at Jonathan's house before, its all a nightmare, except for this once when his mother treated us to Pizzahut. That was great! Anyway, its such a long time ago, almost back into fairyland... so, lets drop the topic.
I woke up feeling tired, the usual me. Took a shower and headed to school for lecture with DrGoh. I was not looking forward for composition lecture because i was not prepared for the lecture. I think its very stressing... because composition is such a personal thing. Im going to look through my composition again and make some changes... because i think it sucks big time. Im so lousy! Help... Christoven was showing me his composition at McDonalds just now. Well, he used several compositional techniques to complete his work, and i must say that its quite well done, though i cannot pitch it accurately. During class, i was hoping that SiHan would bring extra poems so i can just steal one from him. But, he didnt... in fact, he brought his bible! Great, i flipped through a few pages of Psalms. Since everybody is doing Psalms or something, i tried looking for one that is somewhere out of anybody's expectation. So, i did Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Pentateuch, where there is this second statement of the Mosaic law. So, there isnt anything much... and i picked it. Anyway, i was honest, because Mark didnt prepare one too, so i confessed my sins to DrGoh, and he was alright with it. Good!
Tomorrow, we're all suppose to prepare our poems and to share it with the class. Its kinda stressing to share something with the class, and i dunno why... teachers love to torture their students like that! And worse still, we're going to tell them about how we're going to handle our poem and what are we going to do with the words. Its so super... stressing. During lecture, he showed us how he did one of this Chinese poem. The poem is one that i know! And i only know a few. WeiFeng, u once wrote it in ink on tissue paper! Remember? Its that one! He showed us how he wrote the words into music. Setting words into music is tough... and it requires some understanding of literature and chunk from music. I think im dead tomorrow.
I'll be waking up early to have rehearsal with AlbertLin. Im so stressed...
KarenWong went through some formulas. I, went through hell. Theres so much to remember, and im really feeling kinda giddy after listening to her explanations. But one thing for sure, she really can teach well! Im kinda sure of what shes teaching, but when i apply it, i'll grow pimples in my brain. After that, i went to the computer lab to help Jonathan with his harmony. That was crazy enough in class, and to think of it... theres so much limitation for his harmony work, and i cant even do it too. I suck... im so lousy.
Jeremy just sent me his composition, and his lyrics which he wrote himself. Fuck! Im freaking impressed! The lyric i tell u... is good. May i use it for my composition? Im joking! Im fucking happy! I tell u! Seriously! I might sound mad... indeed, i am mad! Im happily mad! I just found a poem! Im going to share it with the class tomorrow! My goodness, the poem is so good. Im afraid my music might not fit to its high caliber! Thanks to the poet, JeremyKoh, our dear vocalist. My dear... friend, schoolmate. Thanks alot! And... i dun mean those things that i want to do to u, its just an expression of joy. Im so happy... i love Barney too.
I ate with SiHan and Mark, for lunch. I was so broke, i had to borrow money again! SiHan was so nice, he said that he'll treat me. As soon as that word came from his mouth, a saw a halo above him. He had white wings and he didnt wear any shoes. Soft silky white robes and blonde long hair... SiHan became an angel! But... the white robe was kinda too silky for his body shape, it made him look bigger, and the blonde hair doesnt match him! Well, i dun think the wings can carry his weight anyway... So, im back into reality, i realised he is still him. Im so grateful. Anyway, thanks for the treat!
Christoven and i went to collect my new year 1 results. Im amazed with certain things... i better not say here, or else somebody might go tell others... Anyway, YongRui, Noozli, LianWei and this dunno whoeva, please go collect ur result slips from the first campus.
Christoven and i were talking about certain things. Later in the evening, he was quite pissed off. I didnt ask why, but he accompanied me to PasirRis to collect Raymond's Pipa. Thanks again to Raymond for his Pipa. Dun worry, i'll take good care of it like i always did for a few ocassions.
My uncle called me yesterday and asked if im available to perform for some function. Well, for a family member... its kinda wierd. But, well... im not sure about that yet, i'll go ask somebody along. How am i going to charge him? Im so stressed...
Raymond's house has this big dog. Its really cute, it jumped on both of us and it ran outside... Its really a good dog, it didnt get the chance to flee... Well, im joking, it shows how loyal dogs are. Anyway, i went into Raymond's room to collect the Pipa, while his mother opened the door for me. Christoven stood outside, enjoying his time with the dog i think. Thanks to Raymond, and too bad he wasnt home... probably out clubbing right? Well, have fun with whateva ur doing. Do things that makes u happy, dun do things to make others happy. U get what i mean.
We went over to DowntownEast, and found Andy there. He wanted to treat us to ice-cream, but it wasnt quite nice to accept his offer... so we didnt. Thanks anyway, Andy. Well, Andy is a really nice person. Though he has his problems, he can hide it well behind that blitheful physical appearance. And mostly, in that smile of his. Anyway, goodluck for the competition! Dun give up hope, and dun be pessimistic about anything.
Had fun tonight with Hilton. U know who u are. I'll spell ur full name once i get the right spelling! Im so evil! Goodnight people.
Cool right? Thanks to Williana for reading my blog! Well, then im sure u have observed the changes. Yes, i was doing it in school. Im going to do one tomorrow when im free for Williana, since i promised. Anyway, ive changed the template. Why? Because my old one has been screwed up by me! I was trying out the new benefits and tools of this version. Yes, i changed my blog into the Google version. So... the colour box was filled with so many different colours. I tried changing one or two... but in the end, there's this box in my blog that has been changed to the colour of shit. It looked horrible, and sure smell terrible too! No matter how i refresh and set to default, the pile of shit is still there. Therefore, ive no chance... but to change my template. Sad right? But nevermind, im still kinda elated that it can finally be so well organised, and without the need to put in complicating codes for the template for some of the elements. I also helped Jonathan with his tagboard, in fact... i signed up quite a few accounts for him already, just to get the necessary codes. See, im so nice. Such a disgrace for self-praise right?
Late last night, i was playing online with Jonathan. Andy was with him, apparantly, he stayed over at Jonathan's place. They were talking heart to heart, and hopefully they had a good time. Ive never enjoyed my stay over at Jonathan's house before, its all a nightmare, except for this once when his mother treated us to Pizzahut. That was great! Anyway, its such a long time ago, almost back into fairyland... so, lets drop the topic.
I woke up feeling tired, the usual me. Took a shower and headed to school for lecture with DrGoh. I was not looking forward for composition lecture because i was not prepared for the lecture. I think its very stressing... because composition is such a personal thing. Im going to look through my composition again and make some changes... because i think it sucks big time. Im so lousy! Help... Christoven was showing me his composition at McDonalds just now. Well, he used several compositional techniques to complete his work, and i must say that its quite well done, though i cannot pitch it accurately. During class, i was hoping that SiHan would bring extra poems so i can just steal one from him. But, he didnt... in fact, he brought his bible! Great, i flipped through a few pages of Psalms. Since everybody is doing Psalms or something, i tried looking for one that is somewhere out of anybody's expectation. So, i did Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Pentateuch, where there is this second statement of the Mosaic law. So, there isnt anything much... and i picked it. Anyway, i was honest, because Mark didnt prepare one too, so i confessed my sins to DrGoh, and he was alright with it. Good!
Tomorrow, we're all suppose to prepare our poems and to share it with the class. Its kinda stressing to share something with the class, and i dunno why... teachers love to torture their students like that! And worse still, we're going to tell them about how we're going to handle our poem and what are we going to do with the words. Its so super... stressing. During lecture, he showed us how he did one of this Chinese poem. The poem is one that i know! And i only know a few. WeiFeng, u once wrote it in ink on tissue paper! Remember? Its that one! He showed us how he wrote the words into music. Setting words into music is tough... and it requires some understanding of literature and chunk from music. I think im dead tomorrow.
I'll be waking up early to have rehearsal with AlbertLin. Im so stressed...
KarenWong went through some formulas. I, went through hell. Theres so much to remember, and im really feeling kinda giddy after listening to her explanations. But one thing for sure, she really can teach well! Im kinda sure of what shes teaching, but when i apply it, i'll grow pimples in my brain. After that, i went to the computer lab to help Jonathan with his harmony. That was crazy enough in class, and to think of it... theres so much limitation for his harmony work, and i cant even do it too. I suck... im so lousy.
Jeremy just sent me his composition, and his lyrics which he wrote himself. Fuck! Im freaking impressed! The lyric i tell u... is good. May i use it for my composition? Im joking! Im fucking happy! I tell u! Seriously! I might sound mad... indeed, i am mad! Im happily mad! I just found a poem! Im going to share it with the class tomorrow! My goodness, the poem is so good. Im afraid my music might not fit to its high caliber! Thanks to the poet, JeremyKoh, our dear vocalist. My dear... friend, schoolmate. Thanks alot! And... i dun mean those things that i want to do to u, its just an expression of joy. Im so happy... i love Barney too.
I ate with SiHan and Mark, for lunch. I was so broke, i had to borrow money again! SiHan was so nice, he said that he'll treat me. As soon as that word came from his mouth, a saw a halo above him. He had white wings and he didnt wear any shoes. Soft silky white robes and blonde long hair... SiHan became an angel! But... the white robe was kinda too silky for his body shape, it made him look bigger, and the blonde hair doesnt match him! Well, i dun think the wings can carry his weight anyway... So, im back into reality, i realised he is still him. Im so grateful. Anyway, thanks for the treat!
Christoven and i went to collect my new year 1 results. Im amazed with certain things... i better not say here, or else somebody might go tell others... Anyway, YongRui, Noozli, LianWei and this dunno whoeva, please go collect ur result slips from the first campus.
Christoven and i were talking about certain things. Later in the evening, he was quite pissed off. I didnt ask why, but he accompanied me to PasirRis to collect Raymond's Pipa. Thanks again to Raymond for his Pipa. Dun worry, i'll take good care of it like i always did for a few ocassions.
My uncle called me yesterday and asked if im available to perform for some function. Well, for a family member... its kinda wierd. But, well... im not sure about that yet, i'll go ask somebody along. How am i going to charge him? Im so stressed...
Raymond's house has this big dog. Its really cute, it jumped on both of us and it ran outside... Its really a good dog, it didnt get the chance to flee... Well, im joking, it shows how loyal dogs are. Anyway, i went into Raymond's room to collect the Pipa, while his mother opened the door for me. Christoven stood outside, enjoying his time with the dog i think. Thanks to Raymond, and too bad he wasnt home... probably out clubbing right? Well, have fun with whateva ur doing. Do things that makes u happy, dun do things to make others happy. U get what i mean.
We went over to DowntownEast, and found Andy there. He wanted to treat us to ice-cream, but it wasnt quite nice to accept his offer... so we didnt. Thanks anyway, Andy. Well, Andy is a really nice person. Though he has his problems, he can hide it well behind that blitheful physical appearance. And mostly, in that smile of his. Anyway, goodluck for the competition! Dun give up hope, and dun be pessimistic about anything.
Had fun tonight with Hilton. U know who u are. I'll spell ur full name once i get the right spelling! Im so evil! Goodnight people.
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