Last Few Hours

And yet u wonder when is all these going to end. Sitting there, with all of ur fellow schoolmates around u like marching soldiers, busy in their thoughts and focusing on their work, u look around with hazy eyes, feeling the heat of the auditorium brushing against ur face. Eventually, the chief examiner takes up the mike and speaks into with vigilance. Everybody seemed to sit up straight, tight against the chair they've been rooted on for an hour. The cohort will be dismissed as soon as the papers are collected. There, another day of PSLE.

With a blink of an eye, the Os flew pass just as quickly as it came. Ten years of education, can u believe it? Eleven for some, or even twelve. For me, ive never thought that my life would end up this way. Ive never felt so much like a sponge, absorbing the essence of everyday's giving and learning and experiencing something new with every awakening. Time ran ahead of me like a hunted prey. Giving chase aint what im concerned with anymore. Now, i just wish to enjoy the process of the pursue. Live life to the fullest as they say.

Im heading into the army in a few hours time. And the whole world seem to cloud with questions and doubts all of a sudden. This shroud has no origin and it seems to grow from the corner of my mind. I've tried finding its source, but with no avail. I'll just let things hook my by the nose. Whatever comes, i'll deal with it like how i would. Whatever goes, i'll manage myself like i always will.

Army will the beginning of a new life, also the end of the old ways of life. Sadly, i believe that i would come out a changed person. In what ways, i do wish to imagine, neither would i wish to generally compare myself with others who had successfully completed their duty to serve the nation. Ive seen aplenty, and found none to be much of myself. Will people love me like my friends do? Will they treat me equally like my friends do? So many questions with replies yet to come. I feel strained with these uncertainty. But nonetheless, the answers to my questions will knock on my doors soon. I believe within this two weeks, half the face will be revealed through the falling veil.

Goodbye to the days when we used to sit together in the cafes, chatting from the birth to the revelations. We have to move on, and within these three years, amongst all the friends we had, half would be diverted into their new path, and a third of the other half will be going through the same phase as i am. Another third will still be in the pursual of their studies, another walking bleakly into another route of life, probably married though mostly still searching half-heartedly. We will meet new friends. And this ever growing list has its limits. With another new name results in another forgotten face. Slowly, our clique will mould along with the effect of time. Awkwardness and tiredness will bore this relationship we once had. The scar of time will take time to heal. However, never force urself to be shackled by responsibilities which are imaginery. If the grass is indeed greener on the other side, just cross the fence. Do remember though to jump back into the old herd for a few munches when ur free.

Im excited for this new adventure. People has gone through it and proven it possible. The smile at the end of the day will wash away the injured pride and dignity, blood and sweat. New found courage, a new found life-style in exchange will be worth the purpose of its operation. Im positive that i'll turn out fine. Within two weeks, do head back to find me here again, blogging about my foresight of army life.

Life is changing. Its not in the water, nor in the air. Destiny is in the clutches of ur own hands.

So serious.