Today's monday ... as u guys know ... its the date of the release of O level results . Well , i didnt expect myself to go to school ... Wilson called me earlier in the morning , he said he'll treat me LAN after that ... so , i went to school . In the morning , i recieved many phonecalls and messages ... yes , its the usual stuffs ... regarding the results .
I went to school ... i wasnt early ... Almost everybody was waiting inside the auditorium ... it was so noisy . I stood at the door , the glass door , feeling the unfeeling coldness . Its the air-con , its not really that cold actually ... but i dunno why i started to feel the tension . Nobody noticed me for a moment . My classmates saw me ... Sherwin and a few came forward and brought me to the gathering ... It was somehow like a class gathering ... i didnt know what i was doing ... why was i there ... ? I really dunno ...
ChaiXia called ... but i didnt wanna reply ... no mood .
The principal started talking , showing statistics and graphs and charts ... talking about nonsense ... really made me feel the tension ... Intensifying the moment , there was the release of the results . I didnt feel anything , not even a bit of tension at that moment . When i held the sheet in my hands , i told myself not to look , but ... i opened it and started to stare at it . I showed no face of discontention . I wasnt startled , and i wasnt a bit surprised . Ive expected that kinda results , it was more than what ive expected though . In fact , without studying , i did better than quite a few . I must admit , this year's paper was damn easy . Regretted ... ? Not a bit .
I sometimes may feel that ... something up there is playing games with my life . Isit the fate ... ? Destiny ... ? I feel that im a piece of chess , im bound to be killed , like just a soldier . I think that things are not how u shape it to be . Its predestined . There were the born losers , and i think im one of them . Im smart ... ? But just not academically i guess ... Somebody has to be the loser , u cannot have everybody as the winners can they ... ?
Honestly , there are many errors here in my blog now . I cant think straight ... so ... just leave it .
Im the born loser , a small part to the winner's life .
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Bolt Out Of The Blue
Amazing somehow that i still can blog ... Well , im blogging at Pacific Coffee . Yesterday's was at ChengSan CC cafe ... I dunno how am i gonna blog again when im not gonna go out during the weekdays ... Im feeling so bored now . Computer at home is dead , must as well say that things to do at home is limited ... ? Well , thats the point , boredom and ennui . Again , they've entered into my world again ... From the ceilings , from the walls , from all around me at the corners of my room ... The darkest corner , is yet the place where i sleep everynight ... So dead , so bored , so lifeless ...
Today's practice was again , boring . Why ? Though we had the new scores , but i still think that practice wasnt as fun as how it used to be . I want combine ... Next week , if still no combine ... then maybe i wont go anymore ... Pipa solos again ... so stressing ... ? Actually , im numb , not feeling any excitement at all .
Like mentioned , im numb ... Tomorrow's the release of O level results . I dunno how badly i might have done , but , judging from how much i studied , i think i deserved a fail . I was deeply affected by many problems . Emotionally , mentally , psychologically and physically breaking down at that point . A crisis , at the wrong time . I managed to go through that period though , it might seem as a bliss , but now , the results are coming . I cannot change the outcome , it was a test , ive passed the test , but with what honour ... ? I think achievements are what people deem as a quialification . Like a certificate , its just a piece of paper , but its price seemed priceless to many . Actually , things now arent that truthful ... Certificates can be bought with money . But , no matter how ... its still reality that rules this society here . Its a place without emotions , without sympathy and feelings . Its called , " The fittest shall survive " .
Reality ... i dun wanna mention much . Ive bitched enough of that topic already ...
Guess everybody is tired ... A warm and humid afternoon ... but blessed with a cool evening sky , showered with merciful rain , to wash away that stress , that tiresome looks off our faces . Washing and cleansing every soul that accumulated stress like a thunder cloud . Troubles might cloud at our brows , wrinkling , and making us look so much older . However much that we might have suffered under cloudless skies , and bearing all the heat of the sun , there is still the beautiful rainbow after every storm . A little bit of sunshine will do us good ... weathering away that troubled looking face ... Weather is just fine ... fine ...
A bolt out of the blue ... ? Yes , i might agree ... weird topics at weird posts ... at weird times ... But well , its what i just thought of ... with nothing ... or with something in my mind . Something mentioning me of different things which ive heard of whenmm i was younger ... or maybe some stupid remarks or philosophy which ive came up by myself when i was bored . This little boring days ... with that little bit of crazy thoughts could sometime do u good ... ? Yes .. true ... totally agree with that . Its called ' rotting ' to me . Its been a habit ... On buses , in cafes , at sleep , in my dreams ... anywhere , anytime , anyhow ... Its just a thought , spared from destruction put into good use ... Its nothing ... just another crazy thought ...
So , dream on ...
But ... Dun dream , when its over .
Today's practice was again , boring . Why ? Though we had the new scores , but i still think that practice wasnt as fun as how it used to be . I want combine ... Next week , if still no combine ... then maybe i wont go anymore ... Pipa solos again ... so stressing ... ? Actually , im numb , not feeling any excitement at all .
Like mentioned , im numb ... Tomorrow's the release of O level results . I dunno how badly i might have done , but , judging from how much i studied , i think i deserved a fail . I was deeply affected by many problems . Emotionally , mentally , psychologically and physically breaking down at that point . A crisis , at the wrong time . I managed to go through that period though , it might seem as a bliss , but now , the results are coming . I cannot change the outcome , it was a test , ive passed the test , but with what honour ... ? I think achievements are what people deem as a quialification . Like a certificate , its just a piece of paper , but its price seemed priceless to many . Actually , things now arent that truthful ... Certificates can be bought with money . But , no matter how ... its still reality that rules this society here . Its a place without emotions , without sympathy and feelings . Its called , " The fittest shall survive " .
Reality ... i dun wanna mention much . Ive bitched enough of that topic already ...
Guess everybody is tired ... A warm and humid afternoon ... but blessed with a cool evening sky , showered with merciful rain , to wash away that stress , that tiresome looks off our faces . Washing and cleansing every soul that accumulated stress like a thunder cloud . Troubles might cloud at our brows , wrinkling , and making us look so much older . However much that we might have suffered under cloudless skies , and bearing all the heat of the sun , there is still the beautiful rainbow after every storm . A little bit of sunshine will do us good ... weathering away that troubled looking face ... Weather is just fine ... fine ...
A bolt out of the blue ... ? Yes , i might agree ... weird topics at weird posts ... at weird times ... But well , its what i just thought of ... with nothing ... or with something in my mind . Something mentioning me of different things which ive heard of whenmm i was younger ... or maybe some stupid remarks or philosophy which ive came up by myself when i was bored . This little boring days ... with that little bit of crazy thoughts could sometime do u good ... ? Yes .. true ... totally agree with that . Its called ' rotting ' to me . Its been a habit ... On buses , in cafes , at sleep , in my dreams ... anywhere , anytime , anyhow ... Its just a thought , spared from destruction put into good use ... Its nothing ... just another crazy thought ...
So , dream on ...
But ... Dun dream , when its over .
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Sleeping Beauty
IM FUCKING PISSED WITH BLOGGER !! AGAIN , I HAVE TO RE-TYPED ALL OF WHAT IVE JUST TYPED !!
I dunno whats the fate between me and computers . My computer at home is officailly down . Hope i'll get a new one soon ... Well , im blogging now at ChengSan CC cafe , under broad daylight . Im feeling kind pissed , but there are people around , so i cannot start slamming pillows and yelling with the top of my voice . Actually , my throat is hurt so bad that i cant even sing high notes , so when i yell , its nothing , almost mute . Now im finding a more comfortable method of typing , because ive typed so much previously , my hands not kinda hurt when i rest in on the edge of the table , kinda hurting ... Anyway ... just to let u guys know , this shall be my last entry , due to certain reasons such as viruses and trojans , my computer at home cannot function normally . My virus protection programmes has defeated their own purposes , they were all deleted off from my desktop by these powerful spywares . These spywares changed my settings , and i cannot change it back . Now it has gotten so much worse , my settings in Windows has changed , trust me , its really worse ... Now im just blogging and sitting beside YinShan and im feeling damn pissed with Blogger ... Hate blogger , SuRong told me that Blogspots do have some problems ... really , i think i believe her now ...
Since its my last entry ... i shall make this short ...
Internet , i'll define it as a place where viruses and dangerous trojans might be hiding from ur sight . Its full of these dangerous ' creatures ' and webs which traps people of their awareness of these dangers . Its not really that fun after all , but after all , its the only thing that has affected life and has created mankind with such convenience with thier work . Internet has proven many things , making life easier , more entertaining and definitely more stressing to many people . It is the key in almost everything that we do ... It is efficient and essential . But i really dun see the need anymore ... all i need is my programmes and my MIDIs ... my life is so much more boring without these ' friends ' .
With modern technology , thriving fashion , advancing science and boundless ends of the internet , humans are crafted into different forms compared to days when our parents were younger . Things are ever growing and never sleeping . Cities that never sleeps , people that are workaholics and markets which rises and falls , all these are results of the former that ive mentioned . Do people in the past uses handphones , computers or lifts and escalators ... ? No they dun , then how did they manage to survive ? If u were to ask some plain janes on the streets of anywhere in Singapore , i dun think they can live without these inventions . Creations which helped made life easier and to make work more efficient has seemed to make life lazier for many . Like dynamites , they were misused for bombing purposes in wars . People now look at time like 20 an hour . People want things fast , faster and faster , they dun like things to go slow or they dun want to relax and lay back for a minute . If a page in the internet takes more than 10 seconds to load , people tend to start tapping their feet . Patience was a virtue , till now i hope it still is . But patience is now harder to master due to reasons such as never ending advances in life . Patience is like an extinct philosphy soon . People who wants to master this virtue might have to take more practice , as life isnt that laid back as how it used to be . Life as taken another toll , another route , a tougher one ...
Now im really kinda laid back , maybe a little bit too much ... Like said before , the only excuse not to practice anything good , or too much , is one thing that i'll call ... reality . So its reality again ... just face it , we have to be how we were ... to struggle for life in this society which is lead into a depriving state .
Life ... a zizz finally out of it ... ? A break from this blogging habit . Actually u guys can just read the previous posts , its all the same ... Its just a repition of daily encounters in different styles . I'll refer is as something ... like ... repeating history ... Actually things just repeat themselves over and over again . U might expect them in different scenarios or cases . Deja-vu ... ? No its not that , its truth and its factual . The only interesting in life is watching these scenes flashing before ur eyes over and over again , without expecting that it'll come so soon ... Like a media which shows the past , dun u think that it might be reflecting the present ? Its just in another form , with some thing more or less replaced with one another . Its a showcase of different encounters under the same theme , its life , its reality . Life seem to just bore me now , more and more , though ive not yet faced many other problems , or many other scenarios ... but i believe , they'll somehow be somewhere of what i might expect . Im not psychic ... though the quiz showed that im 90% ... its crap , just that maybe ive some other sense which people might not possess . I know that they'll be somehow more interesting , but , i dun care about it at all ... its nothing to me ... So , why should i bother to look forward to these problems that i know i'll be facing in the future ... ?
I dun think i can blog any further ... till next time ... Anyway ... its due to reasons such as disturbance . Sharon is disturbing me now ... so damn irritating ... stole me nails and yet dun return ... Nevermind ... I'll blog again when im in some kinda cafes or when im in some LAN shop ... till next time .
A zizz ... ? A break ... ? A catnap . Soon , i'll be awoken by this awe out of this dreamland of mine ...
I dunno whats the fate between me and computers . My computer at home is officailly down . Hope i'll get a new one soon ... Well , im blogging now at ChengSan CC cafe , under broad daylight . Im feeling kind pissed , but there are people around , so i cannot start slamming pillows and yelling with the top of my voice . Actually , my throat is hurt so bad that i cant even sing high notes , so when i yell , its nothing , almost mute . Now im finding a more comfortable method of typing , because ive typed so much previously , my hands not kinda hurt when i rest in on the edge of the table , kinda hurting ... Anyway ... just to let u guys know , this shall be my last entry , due to certain reasons such as viruses and trojans , my computer at home cannot function normally . My virus protection programmes has defeated their own purposes , they were all deleted off from my desktop by these powerful spywares . These spywares changed my settings , and i cannot change it back . Now it has gotten so much worse , my settings in Windows has changed , trust me , its really worse ... Now im just blogging and sitting beside YinShan and im feeling damn pissed with Blogger ... Hate blogger , SuRong told me that Blogspots do have some problems ... really , i think i believe her now ...
Since its my last entry ... i shall make this short ...
Internet , i'll define it as a place where viruses and dangerous trojans might be hiding from ur sight . Its full of these dangerous ' creatures ' and webs which traps people of their awareness of these dangers . Its not really that fun after all , but after all , its the only thing that has affected life and has created mankind with such convenience with thier work . Internet has proven many things , making life easier , more entertaining and definitely more stressing to many people . It is the key in almost everything that we do ... It is efficient and essential . But i really dun see the need anymore ... all i need is my programmes and my MIDIs ... my life is so much more boring without these ' friends ' .
With modern technology , thriving fashion , advancing science and boundless ends of the internet , humans are crafted into different forms compared to days when our parents were younger . Things are ever growing and never sleeping . Cities that never sleeps , people that are workaholics and markets which rises and falls , all these are results of the former that ive mentioned . Do people in the past uses handphones , computers or lifts and escalators ... ? No they dun , then how did they manage to survive ? If u were to ask some plain janes on the streets of anywhere in Singapore , i dun think they can live without these inventions . Creations which helped made life easier and to make work more efficient has seemed to make life lazier for many . Like dynamites , they were misused for bombing purposes in wars . People now look at time like 20 an hour . People want things fast , faster and faster , they dun like things to go slow or they dun want to relax and lay back for a minute . If a page in the internet takes more than 10 seconds to load , people tend to start tapping their feet . Patience was a virtue , till now i hope it still is . But patience is now harder to master due to reasons such as never ending advances in life . Patience is like an extinct philosphy soon . People who wants to master this virtue might have to take more practice , as life isnt that laid back as how it used to be . Life as taken another toll , another route , a tougher one ...
Now im really kinda laid back , maybe a little bit too much ... Like said before , the only excuse not to practice anything good , or too much , is one thing that i'll call ... reality . So its reality again ... just face it , we have to be how we were ... to struggle for life in this society which is lead into a depriving state .
Life ... a zizz finally out of it ... ? A break from this blogging habit . Actually u guys can just read the previous posts , its all the same ... Its just a repition of daily encounters in different styles . I'll refer is as something ... like ... repeating history ... Actually things just repeat themselves over and over again . U might expect them in different scenarios or cases . Deja-vu ... ? No its not that , its truth and its factual . The only interesting in life is watching these scenes flashing before ur eyes over and over again , without expecting that it'll come so soon ... Like a media which shows the past , dun u think that it might be reflecting the present ? Its just in another form , with some thing more or less replaced with one another . Its a showcase of different encounters under the same theme , its life , its reality . Life seem to just bore me now , more and more , though ive not yet faced many other problems , or many other scenarios ... but i believe , they'll somehow be somewhere of what i might expect . Im not psychic ... though the quiz showed that im 90% ... its crap , just that maybe ive some other sense which people might not possess . I know that they'll be somehow more interesting , but , i dun care about it at all ... its nothing to me ... So , why should i bother to look forward to these problems that i know i'll be facing in the future ... ?
I dun think i can blog any further ... till next time ... Anyway ... its due to reasons such as disturbance . Sharon is disturbing me now ... so damn irritating ... stole me nails and yet dun return ... Nevermind ... I'll blog again when im in some kinda cafes or when im in some LAN shop ... till next time .
A zizz ... ? A break ... ? A catnap . Soon , i'll be awoken by this awe out of this dreamland of mine ...
Friday, February 25, 2005
My Rendition Of Life , Leading Quicker Deaths
I slept at 6 yesterday . Imagine , and i woke up at 11 plus . I got to go VS , thats why . VS was fun as usual . But , today we did almost nothing ... other than making fun of MaoLin . He's damn funny ... he plays the GuZheng in VS , and he also plays alittle bit of Ruan ... Funny .
Tomorrow should i perform ? Or ... should i go play LAN with Jonathan , MaoLin and gang ? Die ... think have to perform ... im the only Pipa , again ? Or what ... i also dunno ... I dunno why now a days , im kinda addicted to LAN , again . I play it on Battlenet , its really fun . Yesterday , i created a new account . Think with that nickname , its easier playing online ... Cheapskate ...
Friendster , i have a total number of 280 visitors on my profile page . So happy ... Heard that ? Its 280 , Jasmine , ChaiXia ... i repeat ... 280 . Also dunno why so many . Recently , some people whom i dun really know added me . I asked them who they are , then they just said that they know me , everytime see me ...
Had lunch at JooJiat today . Its been so long since i last ate there , at least 2 years or more . Last time , i used to eat there with uncle and Mom . Dunno why , i dun think theres anything that attracted me . The food just tasted like its edible food , thats all .
Yesterday's post was really pathetic . Today , it wont be much different ... anwyay ... my computer is still a little fucked up . Lots of stupid spywares , adwares and malwares ... whats next ? And now , still got pop-ups after i cleaned it with my programme andwith additional McAfee VirusScan ... spotted 4 trojans .
Today , VS the YangQin guy looked kinda pissed . Think maybe its because he flopped ... ? There was only him , the other one was conducting . Relax , its not ur fault sometimes , it might due to the influence of the background . Others might lead u into the wrong . But basically , its ur own fault that u lack confidence . Its nothing anyway . Its still good . I thought that ur somehow better than quite alot of poeple . Anyway ... dun be pissed with urself if u flop , its experience , its better flopping now than on stage right ? So , let it be a lesson learnt . Anyway ... its not really obvious , think only some people heard it . Plus me that is ...
How to make things sound better ? U have to add in ur own flavour . Its called a different rendition of the piece . Its called ' Self ' . So , dun be so ' metronomic ' . The scores are dead , the player is not . So be alittle more alive , add in some flavour . Depths and thickness and strength affects the quality of sound . So , enhance on it . Its natural , its the artistic blood flowing in ur viens . So , just try , and feel the music .
Tomorrow should i perform ? Or ... should i go play LAN with Jonathan , MaoLin and gang ? Die ... think have to perform ... im the only Pipa , again ? Or what ... i also dunno ... I dunno why now a days , im kinda addicted to LAN , again . I play it on Battlenet , its really fun . Yesterday , i created a new account . Think with that nickname , its easier playing online ... Cheapskate ...
Friendster , i have a total number of 280 visitors on my profile page . So happy ... Heard that ? Its 280 , Jasmine , ChaiXia ... i repeat ... 280 . Also dunno why so many . Recently , some people whom i dun really know added me . I asked them who they are , then they just said that they know me , everytime see me ...
Had lunch at JooJiat today . Its been so long since i last ate there , at least 2 years or more . Last time , i used to eat there with uncle and Mom . Dunno why , i dun think theres anything that attracted me . The food just tasted like its edible food , thats all .
Yesterday's post was really pathetic . Today , it wont be much different ... anwyay ... my computer is still a little fucked up . Lots of stupid spywares , adwares and malwares ... whats next ? And now , still got pop-ups after i cleaned it with my programme andwith additional McAfee VirusScan ... spotted 4 trojans .
Today , VS the YangQin guy looked kinda pissed . Think maybe its because he flopped ... ? There was only him , the other one was conducting . Relax , its not ur fault sometimes , it might due to the influence of the background . Others might lead u into the wrong . But basically , its ur own fault that u lack confidence . Its nothing anyway . Its still good . I thought that ur somehow better than quite alot of poeple . Anyway ... dun be pissed with urself if u flop , its experience , its better flopping now than on stage right ? So , let it be a lesson learnt . Anyway ... its not really obvious , think only some people heard it . Plus me that is ...
How to make things sound better ? U have to add in ur own flavour . Its called a different rendition of the piece . Its called ' Self ' . So , dun be so ' metronomic ' . The scores are dead , the player is not . So be alittle more alive , add in some flavour . Depths and thickness and strength affects the quality of sound . So , enhance on it . Its natural , its the artistic blood flowing in ur viens . So , just try , and feel the music .
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I Spy With My Little Eye
Whats wrong with my computer again ... Low in resources ... Yesterday , i think ... i deleted a total of 206 possible infected files . Trojans , spywares to adwares and stuff ... so many right ? Think im gonna do so later , again .
Today i reaped nothing . I ate at Baba's and drank iced milo , really nice . Mom cooked dinner , so i dined in tonight .
I completed another song for CSCO . Its called , ' Longer ' . Its another western song . Again , YangQin in trouble , and ErHu can just lay back and relax . Hope its not another joke . I used a total of 4 pencils to write that three pieces out . Three pencils ! I found it in my drawer . Its my old pencils , those left after leaving Primary school . Imagine how old they were .
Im damn pissed ... think got spywares again . I see pop-ups , its those that ive seen before . I got to go remove them now ...
Anyway , i just came back from LAN at Raiders . I went there alone . Mom fetched me there ... think im just too bored . I played for kinda long ... left only after the lady chased us out . She has freaky wicked nails , damn long .
Today's entry shall be this short . Because , i got something on my mind . Kinda preoccupied to even think ... Spware removal time !
This is damn pathetic ...
Today i reaped nothing . I ate at Baba's and drank iced milo , really nice . Mom cooked dinner , so i dined in tonight .
I completed another song for CSCO . Its called , ' Longer ' . Its another western song . Again , YangQin in trouble , and ErHu can just lay back and relax . Hope its not another joke . I used a total of 4 pencils to write that three pieces out . Three pencils ! I found it in my drawer . Its my old pencils , those left after leaving Primary school . Imagine how old they were .
Im damn pissed ... think got spywares again . I see pop-ups , its those that ive seen before . I got to go remove them now ...
Anyway , i just came back from LAN at Raiders . I went there alone . Mom fetched me there ... think im just too bored . I played for kinda long ... left only after the lady chased us out . She has freaky wicked nails , damn long .
Today's entry shall be this short . Because , i got something on my mind . Kinda preoccupied to even think ... Spware removal time !
This is damn pathetic ...
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
A Wont , Its My ' Norm '
Fucking computer , why so lag !? Lag and lag and lag ... I spent at least 20 min just to open this stupid page ! Imagine that ... i clicked on ' refresh ' like dunno how many times ... and now , the alphabet shows only after 1 sec after i tpyed it on the keyboard . Fuck !
I dun understand what is wrong with this computer . Think its Jasmine's fault . Must be . She's always picking a fight with me , though she knew that she'll end up losing , she'll still wanna start a riot . So chaotic and such a violent creature ... Cant we just be peaceful ... ? Let the crow go , and lets welcome the dove ... No more fighting . Let it all cease . But ... i know she'll sure start one again pretty soon ... maybe like now . Fighting in MSN ...
Forgotten to blog about yesterday's incident . Sharon , that rodent beast , stole my nails . I needed it yesterday . Once i found that it was missing from my bag , i sent her a message. I sounded damn serious , and i think i scared the shit out of her . I told her that she commited something called theft . Its felony , so i taught her a lesson , never to take other's belongings . So funny ... she thought that i was damn serious ... well ... i was laughing away ... But seriously , dun ever take my belongings again !
Today was just another boring day . I stayed at home , but i managed to waste my time by writing scores for CSCO . I wrote " The Grasslands " . Again , another problematic song for YangQin . YangQin and ErHu ... dunno whats my problem with them in my previous life . YangQin scores are always the hardest , and ErHu on the other hand , is always the easiest . DiZi scores often have many challenging rhythms , YangQin scores often have challenging notes with challenging rhythms , ErHu scores can be played with half an eye opened and Pipa scores is often the easiest to play also , because ... i wrote it ! Think this song can be used for those small ensemble performances ... again . Hope it'll not be cancelled or condemmed like ... " I Started A Joke " ... Firstly , the joke hasnt even been started yet ...
Read some other blogs today . Found that quite a number of people do link me to their blog , so thankful . For those who havent , well ... better start linking now ! I was joking ... actually it doesnt matter ... I really hope it wont be too popular ... because the lower the profile of this blog , the lower risk of me getting hated by many . Why ? Because this blog is so filled with comments . Like what im gonna say now ... Yesterday , a fat old stupid humpty Indian lady snatched a cab from me ! The word highlighted here should be ' Indian ' and not ' fat ' . Please dun make fun of people who are bigger in size , its bad ... its hurting ... joking ! But ... that stupid lady deserves her reputation ruined on my blog ! Hate her ! I'll push u down the drain next time i see u ! Heard that !? Malays better watch out too ... only monority is well conducted . I saw some Malay kids running about downstairs today . Really pisses me off ... wanna just take some pork and rub it against their body and then soak them in pig blood ! Thats too racist ... bad bad bad ... but ... What the hell ! I dun care !
I dunno why ... i might sound a little angry today . Well , actually ... im perfectly fine . Normal ... ? Im not rude , its just normal . Thats what i call it a norm ! Heard that !? A norm !
Relax Gildon ... Fuck !
Chilled ...
And i better remind myself to copy what im gonna blog before publishing ... because ... Fucking blogger is sometimes screwed up . Fuck and fuck and fuck it ! So i better copy now ... hope there arent any errors after clicking on the button ... Lets pray hard .
Im fine , im normal .
Chilled ... again ... finally ...
I dun understand what is wrong with this computer . Think its Jasmine's fault . Must be . She's always picking a fight with me , though she knew that she'll end up losing , she'll still wanna start a riot . So chaotic and such a violent creature ... Cant we just be peaceful ... ? Let the crow go , and lets welcome the dove ... No more fighting . Let it all cease . But ... i know she'll sure start one again pretty soon ... maybe like now . Fighting in MSN ...
Forgotten to blog about yesterday's incident . Sharon , that rodent beast , stole my nails . I needed it yesterday . Once i found that it was missing from my bag , i sent her a message. I sounded damn serious , and i think i scared the shit out of her . I told her that she commited something called theft . Its felony , so i taught her a lesson , never to take other's belongings . So funny ... she thought that i was damn serious ... well ... i was laughing away ... But seriously , dun ever take my belongings again !
Today was just another boring day . I stayed at home , but i managed to waste my time by writing scores for CSCO . I wrote " The Grasslands " . Again , another problematic song for YangQin . YangQin and ErHu ... dunno whats my problem with them in my previous life . YangQin scores are always the hardest , and ErHu on the other hand , is always the easiest . DiZi scores often have many challenging rhythms , YangQin scores often have challenging notes with challenging rhythms , ErHu scores can be played with half an eye opened and Pipa scores is often the easiest to play also , because ... i wrote it ! Think this song can be used for those small ensemble performances ... again . Hope it'll not be cancelled or condemmed like ... " I Started A Joke " ... Firstly , the joke hasnt even been started yet ...
Read some other blogs today . Found that quite a number of people do link me to their blog , so thankful . For those who havent , well ... better start linking now ! I was joking ... actually it doesnt matter ... I really hope it wont be too popular ... because the lower the profile of this blog , the lower risk of me getting hated by many . Why ? Because this blog is so filled with comments . Like what im gonna say now ... Yesterday , a fat old stupid humpty Indian lady snatched a cab from me ! The word highlighted here should be ' Indian ' and not ' fat ' . Please dun make fun of people who are bigger in size , its bad ... its hurting ... joking ! But ... that stupid lady deserves her reputation ruined on my blog ! Hate her ! I'll push u down the drain next time i see u ! Heard that !? Malays better watch out too ... only monority is well conducted . I saw some Malay kids running about downstairs today . Really pisses me off ... wanna just take some pork and rub it against their body and then soak them in pig blood ! Thats too racist ... bad bad bad ... but ... What the hell ! I dun care !
I dunno why ... i might sound a little angry today . Well , actually ... im perfectly fine . Normal ... ? Im not rude , its just normal . Thats what i call it a norm ! Heard that !? A norm !
Relax Gildon ... Fuck !
Chilled ...
And i better remind myself to copy what im gonna blog before publishing ... because ... Fucking blogger is sometimes screwed up . Fuck and fuck and fuck it ! So i better copy now ... hope there arent any errors after clicking on the button ... Lets pray hard .
Im fine , im normal .
Chilled ... again ... finally ...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Verbosity , But With Sense And Depths
Yesterday , it took me one hour to blog . Think its because i was chatting and blogging and chatting and blogging and chatting and ... Thats why . Today , its just another boring day . I tried to work on my new composition , Suite of Life . I managed to compose 2 of the movements last night. I slept at 6 . Woke up for lunch at 12 ... so little sleep ... Lethargic ...
Ate at Baba's . For dinner , i just came back from eating at TianTian . I used to eat there when i was younger . Ate with my uncle and Mom , and of course the other uncle with bad sense of direction . He brought us around , i felt kinda weird , because its usually us who bring him around . We went to the Railway Station , after eating . Went there for a drink . Its not a common sight . I remembered long time ago , i once took the train to Malaysia . Its a train mind u , not a typical MRT . A train is cooler , and its slow . I like it slow ... People there were eating and smoking . Smoking what ? Its some kinda pipe from the Middle-East . I think i know how it works , its not poisonous either , unlike cigar . Its legal by the way ... I saw it once not long ago , at some Italian pub . Anyway , we also went deep into the station , into this secluded junction . Its so deserted , i dun think any birds would even shit there . Its far and deep in , its dark . Its better and safer not to walk in , who knows what might happen , raped and dumped into the drain ... ? Think too much ... There is a lounge there and some people stay inside there also . Kinda weird place ... Anyway , that piece of land doesnt belong to Singapore , it belongs to Malaysia . Dun need passport ... thats lame ...
The road was jagged and rough . It reminded me of once when i was in China . Its a long story . I almost died there . Seriously , not some kinda lame remarks i usually make . That once could just mean forever dead . Imagine that ... Let me share a little bit of this story ...
We , cant remember who , Mom and grandpa was there , were on our way back to hometown , a village up in the mountains in XiaMen . Its up in the mountains , the mountain terrians , just totally freaked me out . The road was narrow and thin , only allowing one direction . Before driving up , we stopped at this small hut , where people prayed before heading on . There were gods and semi-devils , deities of different kinds . If im not wrong , it was an hour ride up . Scary , it was breath taking . Why ? I looked out the window , i couldnt see any road , just simple the steep sides of the mountain and of course the beautiful scenery ... beautiful ... deadly beauty . That was nothing . This was just the trip up , imagine the trip down . But , thats not my point , i didnt die there . When we were there , at the village , we were hosted by these group of people , family of the village chief . The chief is a member of our family . Dun ask me , i dunno how this family thing works . There was this guy , he looked so much like Vincent , the actor in Mediacorp , just a little more cheena . He's really nice to me . He brought me around , he entertained me during my days there . It was really fun . I'll more about that next time . The point is ... He likes to bring me around on his bike . I love bikes , till that day . He brought me to other villages , further up the mountain . The villages are located along the different points of the mountain slopes . On our way back , it started to rain . There were mudslides , yellow mud , thats the most slippery type of mud compared to red mud . The bike was carrying 3 people , imagine ... Everwhere was just along the slope of the mountain . Eventually , the bike slipped , we all fell . I was just that close to falling off the slope . It was horror . I felt the knocking of hell , like a close bullet shot that just went cross my ear , i could just hear it . It was scary . In the end , we got up ... guess what ... we continued riding ... thats the funny thing . I didnt get any shock , it was just like a pretty normal fall . I got up and just continued from where i fell . Till , when i was back , the chills got me , it showered upon me like freezing rain ... That was just one close encounter with Hades . I was lucky . I still am ... ?
Thanks Alastair . Today i got to know a new friend , she's called Hazel . Her father is the chairman on Nanyang Poly . Amazing ... I really envy people with parents who really thought well . My Mom wasnt like that when i was younger , i cannot regret on this kidna thing , its destiny . Im really lucky to have a Mom like Mom , and she must be really lucky to have a son like me too . Honestly , she told everybody that . Well , to think of it , its kinda true , if all children were to be like how i was when i was younger , i dun think parents will age that quickly . The rest is just a secret ... I wont talk much about this ...
I just noticed something about my blogging style . I tend to throw chunk and chunks of paragraphs into my blog . I dunno why , when i write compositions in school , i tend to use plenty of paragraphings . Teacher said it was well used . Think i like to paragraph my thoughts into different halves . Anyway , my titles are always linked to the last few paragraphs . Usually the last few paragraphs would be thoughts and my own opinions to many other topics . One paragraph talks about an issue , the other talks about another . Its just that simple . Nothing much ... And if anybody noticed , i dun think any did , im writing more and more compared to my previous blogs , as in those earlier ones . Im writing more and more ... Now , im thinking of my title ... what should it be ? How about ... Verbosity ?
Ate at Baba's . For dinner , i just came back from eating at TianTian . I used to eat there when i was younger . Ate with my uncle and Mom , and of course the other uncle with bad sense of direction . He brought us around , i felt kinda weird , because its usually us who bring him around . We went to the Railway Station , after eating . Went there for a drink . Its not a common sight . I remembered long time ago , i once took the train to Malaysia . Its a train mind u , not a typical MRT . A train is cooler , and its slow . I like it slow ... People there were eating and smoking . Smoking what ? Its some kinda pipe from the Middle-East . I think i know how it works , its not poisonous either , unlike cigar . Its legal by the way ... I saw it once not long ago , at some Italian pub . Anyway , we also went deep into the station , into this secluded junction . Its so deserted , i dun think any birds would even shit there . Its far and deep in , its dark . Its better and safer not to walk in , who knows what might happen , raped and dumped into the drain ... ? Think too much ... There is a lounge there and some people stay inside there also . Kinda weird place ... Anyway , that piece of land doesnt belong to Singapore , it belongs to Malaysia . Dun need passport ... thats lame ...
The road was jagged and rough . It reminded me of once when i was in China . Its a long story . I almost died there . Seriously , not some kinda lame remarks i usually make . That once could just mean forever dead . Imagine that ... Let me share a little bit of this story ...
We , cant remember who , Mom and grandpa was there , were on our way back to hometown , a village up in the mountains in XiaMen . Its up in the mountains , the mountain terrians , just totally freaked me out . The road was narrow and thin , only allowing one direction . Before driving up , we stopped at this small hut , where people prayed before heading on . There were gods and semi-devils , deities of different kinds . If im not wrong , it was an hour ride up . Scary , it was breath taking . Why ? I looked out the window , i couldnt see any road , just simple the steep sides of the mountain and of course the beautiful scenery ... beautiful ... deadly beauty . That was nothing . This was just the trip up , imagine the trip down . But , thats not my point , i didnt die there . When we were there , at the village , we were hosted by these group of people , family of the village chief . The chief is a member of our family . Dun ask me , i dunno how this family thing works . There was this guy , he looked so much like Vincent , the actor in Mediacorp , just a little more cheena . He's really nice to me . He brought me around , he entertained me during my days there . It was really fun . I'll more about that next time . The point is ... He likes to bring me around on his bike . I love bikes , till that day . He brought me to other villages , further up the mountain . The villages are located along the different points of the mountain slopes . On our way back , it started to rain . There were mudslides , yellow mud , thats the most slippery type of mud compared to red mud . The bike was carrying 3 people , imagine ... Everwhere was just along the slope of the mountain . Eventually , the bike slipped , we all fell . I was just that close to falling off the slope . It was horror . I felt the knocking of hell , like a close bullet shot that just went cross my ear , i could just hear it . It was scary . In the end , we got up ... guess what ... we continued riding ... thats the funny thing . I didnt get any shock , it was just like a pretty normal fall . I got up and just continued from where i fell . Till , when i was back , the chills got me , it showered upon me like freezing rain ... That was just one close encounter with Hades . I was lucky . I still am ... ?
Thanks Alastair . Today i got to know a new friend , she's called Hazel . Her father is the chairman on Nanyang Poly . Amazing ... I really envy people with parents who really thought well . My Mom wasnt like that when i was younger , i cannot regret on this kidna thing , its destiny . Im really lucky to have a Mom like Mom , and she must be really lucky to have a son like me too . Honestly , she told everybody that . Well , to think of it , its kinda true , if all children were to be like how i was when i was younger , i dun think parents will age that quickly . The rest is just a secret ... I wont talk much about this ...
I just noticed something about my blogging style . I tend to throw chunk and chunks of paragraphs into my blog . I dunno why , when i write compositions in school , i tend to use plenty of paragraphings . Teacher said it was well used . Think i like to paragraph my thoughts into different halves . Anyway , my titles are always linked to the last few paragraphs . Usually the last few paragraphs would be thoughts and my own opinions to many other topics . One paragraph talks about an issue , the other talks about another . Its just that simple . Nothing much ... And if anybody noticed , i dun think any did , im writing more and more compared to my previous blogs , as in those earlier ones . Im writing more and more ... Now , im thinking of my title ... what should it be ? How about ... Verbosity ?
Monday, February 21, 2005
Soaring Eagle
Think i'll blog early today . Its only 10pm ... usually i blog at wierd times ... So , people dun get to read them on that day ...
Today i managed to finish my new composition ... Gildon's Symphony : Magical Thoughts . Jasmine just told me its crappy ... blood boiling ... Ive got another compostion , that one i didnt dare send it to anyone ... because it sucks , like hell . ChaiXia said the Koto Concerto was nice ... weird taste ... I think that the symphonic one isnt that bad ... in fact , i liked it , like which compositions of my own do i not like ...
Suteki Dane , its a song , some Japanese folksong , i think ... I love it . Well done , to the arranger . Its effective and definitely pleasing to the ears . Im listening to it just now , now im listening to my new compositon , because someone said its crappy ... No what ...
Today was just horrible ... thanks Mom for bringing me to lunch ... nice meal . Think i ate too much again , for dinner just now . I just gained a few pounds ! Somethings will just come and go , dun they ? Like weight for example ...
Cousin went Cross Country today , he got 8th in position , not bad . I remembered that stupid cursed day in ACS Barker ... Cross Country ... Dunno which idiot went to sign up for my friends and i ... to think of it , im laughing like crazy now ... We were made to run for our house for 6Km ! Imagine , 6 and not 2.4 ! Stupid house master ... Hate u ! So ... there was ... cant remember who ... but i remembered there was Jonathan Yap . We were damn funny ... think we ran 1Km , and walked the rest . We were not only the last , but the last of the last . The checkpoints were all empty when we reached there . Why ? Because the prefects were all already on their way back for the prize giving ceremony ... When we finally reached the ending point , which was the starting point , the Vice-Principal was waiting for us there , she looked so worried . Thanks to the house master that is ... The whole school was already dismissed ... Damn funny ... we werent even sweating , just cursing the house master all the way ... Funny ...
I added a few more quizzes to my blog , please scroll down to have a peek . I also added a counter yesterday night , think its today morning ... Its a spongebob one , so cute . I like Patrick , the starfish . Im crazy ... just pretend i didnt say anything ...
So many got this virus thingi , they send things to people in their MSN contacts ... i recieved so many ... i almost accepted one ... scary ... Anyway ... do i have one too ? Hope not ...
How can i forget ? I wanna thank someone really special . He's one of my closest friend in school , best friend . He's been really nice . Well , maybe a little kinda misunderstood in school , by classmates . But , in the end , its such a fairy tale ending . They were wrong about u . Thanks for reminding me for everything , helping me with everything , listening to my craps , doing stuffs for me , staying with me , eating with me , joking with me , playing with me , laughing like crazy with me too and of course making my last year in Barker more colourful . That special someone is not a lover definitely , so dun think crooked children . He supported me in so many ways , sometimes i just may feel a little kinda bad ... Ive done so little , and yet uve done so much beyond of things that i can reach for . Thanks for helping me find my way . Thanks I-Dec , my classmate , my guide and my friend .
Touching ... so touching ... make me wanna cry now . Its been so long since i last cryed . Think im healing now . Its been so long since i last rotted , other than the everyday sessions in the bus . Its been so long since i last sat down , enjoying the wind , the tree shades and comtemplating on life . Today was kinda windy , i noticed the orange sky of the setting sun . Its been so long ... i wanna go to the zoo too , heard its different there now . I wann go to the beach , just to enjoy the sea breeze . I wanna go some parks for picnic someday . I hope i still have time to enjoy this kinda things , before my time runs out . The nature , thats where i was brought up . The days where i looked up to the sky and the stars , telling them of my dreams . Sitting amongst the flowers in the meadow , listening with eyes closed to the flora's secrets . Following the naughty boys into the woods , trailing my way as i listened to the whispers of the trees . Played with the waves on the beach , charging and retreating ... Hoping to fly up high again in the sky , feeling the cool zephyr against my rosy cheeks . Wondering why my cheeks were pinkish when i was younger . Mom said its due to the reason that we've been over to cold countries too often . Kinda true , i thought . But now , having all my troubles and worries to pull me closer down to earth . Wanting to dream again , too down to earth ... ? No , i dare to dream , and i want to dream high , like those days in the skies , soaring up above like an eagle high .
Today i managed to finish my new composition ... Gildon's Symphony : Magical Thoughts . Jasmine just told me its crappy ... blood boiling ... Ive got another compostion , that one i didnt dare send it to anyone ... because it sucks , like hell . ChaiXia said the Koto Concerto was nice ... weird taste ... I think that the symphonic one isnt that bad ... in fact , i liked it , like which compositions of my own do i not like ...
Suteki Dane , its a song , some Japanese folksong , i think ... I love it . Well done , to the arranger . Its effective and definitely pleasing to the ears . Im listening to it just now , now im listening to my new compositon , because someone said its crappy ... No what ...
Today was just horrible ... thanks Mom for bringing me to lunch ... nice meal . Think i ate too much again , for dinner just now . I just gained a few pounds ! Somethings will just come and go , dun they ? Like weight for example ...
Cousin went Cross Country today , he got 8th in position , not bad . I remembered that stupid cursed day in ACS Barker ... Cross Country ... Dunno which idiot went to sign up for my friends and i ... to think of it , im laughing like crazy now ... We were made to run for our house for 6Km ! Imagine , 6 and not 2.4 ! Stupid house master ... Hate u ! So ... there was ... cant remember who ... but i remembered there was Jonathan Yap . We were damn funny ... think we ran 1Km , and walked the rest . We were not only the last , but the last of the last . The checkpoints were all empty when we reached there . Why ? Because the prefects were all already on their way back for the prize giving ceremony ... When we finally reached the ending point , which was the starting point , the Vice-Principal was waiting for us there , she looked so worried . Thanks to the house master that is ... The whole school was already dismissed ... Damn funny ... we werent even sweating , just cursing the house master all the way ... Funny ...
I added a few more quizzes to my blog , please scroll down to have a peek . I also added a counter yesterday night , think its today morning ... Its a spongebob one , so cute . I like Patrick , the starfish . Im crazy ... just pretend i didnt say anything ...
So many got this virus thingi , they send things to people in their MSN contacts ... i recieved so many ... i almost accepted one ... scary ... Anyway ... do i have one too ? Hope not ...
How can i forget ? I wanna thank someone really special . He's one of my closest friend in school , best friend . He's been really nice . Well , maybe a little kinda misunderstood in school , by classmates . But , in the end , its such a fairy tale ending . They were wrong about u . Thanks for reminding me for everything , helping me with everything , listening to my craps , doing stuffs for me , staying with me , eating with me , joking with me , playing with me , laughing like crazy with me too and of course making my last year in Barker more colourful . That special someone is not a lover definitely , so dun think crooked children . He supported me in so many ways , sometimes i just may feel a little kinda bad ... Ive done so little , and yet uve done so much beyond of things that i can reach for . Thanks for helping me find my way . Thanks I-Dec , my classmate , my guide and my friend .
Touching ... so touching ... make me wanna cry now . Its been so long since i last cryed . Think im healing now . Its been so long since i last rotted , other than the everyday sessions in the bus . Its been so long since i last sat down , enjoying the wind , the tree shades and comtemplating on life . Today was kinda windy , i noticed the orange sky of the setting sun . Its been so long ... i wanna go to the zoo too , heard its different there now . I wann go to the beach , just to enjoy the sea breeze . I wanna go some parks for picnic someday . I hope i still have time to enjoy this kinda things , before my time runs out . The nature , thats where i was brought up . The days where i looked up to the sky and the stars , telling them of my dreams . Sitting amongst the flowers in the meadow , listening with eyes closed to the flora's secrets . Following the naughty boys into the woods , trailing my way as i listened to the whispers of the trees . Played with the waves on the beach , charging and retreating ... Hoping to fly up high again in the sky , feeling the cool zephyr against my rosy cheeks . Wondering why my cheeks were pinkish when i was younger . Mom said its due to the reason that we've been over to cold countries too often . Kinda true , i thought . But now , having all my troubles and worries to pull me closer down to earth . Wanting to dream again , too down to earth ... ? No , i dare to dream , and i want to dream high , like those days in the skies , soaring up above like an eagle high .
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Amnesia
Just got home . Tired ? Not really ... Mom always tell me that im tired , like as if i dunno whether i am or not . Well , if ur gonna tell me im full already , then maybe i'll still have to think twice whether i ate enough ... Well , im not really tired .
CSCO practice again , hoping for combine ... but ... sigh ... I played SanXian today , so fun . Nicholas , thanks for the scores . Nicholas is so nice , he is willing to help me print the scores ... so nice , thanks again . After practice , which was actually just talking and chatting , we went to eat at S11 with Wu LaoShi , Mr.Goh . Goh wanted to buy me lunch ... thought maybe not . He treated me like dunno how many times liao , kinda embarrassed ... I bought my own lunch . Nobody believed that i actually dun eat much meat . I eat mostly vegetables , and nobody believes me . Well , i dunno why eating vegetables would result in this kinda state , but thats the truth . Unlike people like ... Jasmine ... ate so much sausages , which she thought was vegetables . Sausage trees ... ? Nice one Jasmine ... Supposed to play LAN at Raiders again with Sylvester and Stanley , but too bad ... ChaiXia dun want . So , Jasmine , Sharon , Nicholas , ChaiXia and i went to Suntec . Took a bus ... while on the ride , ChaiXia and i were flipping through the scores , while listening to " ChunQiu " , a Pipa concerto . Samuel is gonna play that with Shane , a pianist , at Esplanade . That stupid song took us 24 min ! Scary ...
Went Pacific Coffee , as usual . Well , now that i know , quite alot of people actually read my blog ! Shocking ... surprised , really . Thought only a few cats would actually bother to read ... Well , now i know ... i better becareful with what i type ... joking ... Used the computers there , its free , last time need to pay ... so fun . Think cafe there is fun ... Cant really remember what we talked about ... but i remembered that ChaiXia and Jasmine were doing the quizzes in my blog . Interesting ... ? Who likes it ? I can see plenty of hands ...
Went off after eating with them . Saw MinYi , Pikachu , with her friends , one whole gang . Then we helped them with the photo taking ... stupid ... I went off earlier , because Wilson asked me out . We played LAN at Cyberdome . He was late . I hate people who are always late ! Excluding me that is ... joking ... Wilson , very funny ... " old man " . Played till kinda late ... then initially taking bus home , but Mom fetched me . Wilson , u liar , u said u wanna fetch me to some bus stop that day , well u didnt . Today , u said u wanna treat me to McDonalds ... well , like what ive expected , u didnt ! Hate u !
Matthew going on some mission trip tomorrow ... interesting . Well , dun look down on me ... ive been to many places before too ! Just that , it has been really long since i last went on a holiday . Reason ? Simple ... I didn want to . I forbid Mom to also . Mom went China once without me . I wanna save money ... weird ? No , i tell my Mom that almost everyday , save money ... Lets see ... where have i been before ... ? When i was younger , ive been overseas to places like ... America , Canada and Hawaii . Those are in North America . Ive never been to Australia and Europe . Asia ... ? Most ... HongKong 4 times , Japan 3 times , Korea 2 times , Thailand too many to count , Malaysia too many also , Indonesia too many also , Taiwan , China 2 times and of course Sentosa , where i spent my Prelims there ...
Those memories ... cant really remember ...
CSCO practice again , hoping for combine ... but ... sigh ... I played SanXian today , so fun . Nicholas , thanks for the scores . Nicholas is so nice , he is willing to help me print the scores ... so nice , thanks again . After practice , which was actually just talking and chatting , we went to eat at S11 with Wu LaoShi , Mr.Goh . Goh wanted to buy me lunch ... thought maybe not . He treated me like dunno how many times liao , kinda embarrassed ... I bought my own lunch . Nobody believed that i actually dun eat much meat . I eat mostly vegetables , and nobody believes me . Well , i dunno why eating vegetables would result in this kinda state , but thats the truth . Unlike people like ... Jasmine ... ate so much sausages , which she thought was vegetables . Sausage trees ... ? Nice one Jasmine ... Supposed to play LAN at Raiders again with Sylvester and Stanley , but too bad ... ChaiXia dun want . So , Jasmine , Sharon , Nicholas , ChaiXia and i went to Suntec . Took a bus ... while on the ride , ChaiXia and i were flipping through the scores , while listening to " ChunQiu " , a Pipa concerto . Samuel is gonna play that with Shane , a pianist , at Esplanade . That stupid song took us 24 min ! Scary ...
Went Pacific Coffee , as usual . Well , now that i know , quite alot of people actually read my blog ! Shocking ... surprised , really . Thought only a few cats would actually bother to read ... Well , now i know ... i better becareful with what i type ... joking ... Used the computers there , its free , last time need to pay ... so fun . Think cafe there is fun ... Cant really remember what we talked about ... but i remembered that ChaiXia and Jasmine were doing the quizzes in my blog . Interesting ... ? Who likes it ? I can see plenty of hands ...
Went off after eating with them . Saw MinYi , Pikachu , with her friends , one whole gang . Then we helped them with the photo taking ... stupid ... I went off earlier , because Wilson asked me out . We played LAN at Cyberdome . He was late . I hate people who are always late ! Excluding me that is ... joking ... Wilson , very funny ... " old man " . Played till kinda late ... then initially taking bus home , but Mom fetched me . Wilson , u liar , u said u wanna fetch me to some bus stop that day , well u didnt . Today , u said u wanna treat me to McDonalds ... well , like what ive expected , u didnt ! Hate u !
Matthew going on some mission trip tomorrow ... interesting . Well , dun look down on me ... ive been to many places before too ! Just that , it has been really long since i last went on a holiday . Reason ? Simple ... I didn want to . I forbid Mom to also . Mom went China once without me . I wanna save money ... weird ? No , i tell my Mom that almost everyday , save money ... Lets see ... where have i been before ... ? When i was younger , ive been overseas to places like ... America , Canada and Hawaii . Those are in North America . Ive never been to Australia and Europe . Asia ... ? Most ... HongKong 4 times , Japan 3 times , Korea 2 times , Thailand too many to count , Malaysia too many also , Indonesia too many also , Taiwan , China 2 times and of course Sentosa , where i spent my Prelims there ...
Those memories ... cant really remember ...
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Hill Of Barker
Woke up with finding my cousins in my room . My uncle came today . Which one ? Another one , he's called Anthony , damn funny too . I think i spent quite alot of time with him when i was younger . The way he treated his kids was just funny ... He stayed in America for a few years . My aunt is a nurse , earns big money , especially in America . They own a big big car , stunning and just makes people go drooling ... I love that car ... but not like how my schoolmate , He Jia , likes it . Not like a maniac , but its just stunning ... Had lunch with them .
Supposed to play LAN with Stanley and Sylvester , but i wasnt feeling too good . So , i stayed home . I tried composing for a while ... I deleted quite a few pieces ... But finally , i managed to write something nicer than the rest . It was just nice , and refreshing , never wrote something like that before . Its kinda mystical , like Harry Potter ? Maybe not ... I liked it . I saved it down before heading to ChengSan CC .
I was late . Thought it was at CC , but it was somewhere else . Had to take bus ... so troublesome . Performed under the stars ... not that kinda romantic crap , it was under the burning hot sun ... not really that exaggerating ... but just somewhere there ... I played DaRuan again . It sucks ... again . Nevermind about the performance . Today , i kinda got an interesting news ... why nobody told me that ? Nevermind , got to know it today . Well , its a fortune . Trust me , its a fortune . Anyway ... ate at that place , it was like a zoo ... all surrounded by tents , and every animal was just running about , squeezing the hell out of everybody ... The fittest shall survive ... ? Guess it applies here ... The drink was horrible ... the food was not that bad ... the abalone porridge was good ... but ... just not as good as ... not gonna say .
Went back to CC after waiting like crazy . We wasted our time listening to Pipa concertos and solos . Crazy ... ? Its damn difficult ... Anyway ... nothing ...
Went to play LAN after leaving CC . They were all playing basketball before that , and i was sitting there playing Pipa . Sharon and Jasmine , both sucked , they didnt play , ChaiXia played . It has been so long since i last played CS , Counter Strike , not ChengSan . After ChaiXia left , i played Dota online ... changed computer to play on Battlenet . It was kinda fun . Today , so many people online . Sherwin and JJ , JinJie , was online ... MarkHan , Lincoln Tay and QiShen too ... But didnt manage to play with them ... i played with other people . My hero was so laggy , due to the connection , it moves only after 1 or 2 seconds i clicked on it . No wonder cant really kill anyone , but got killed so easliy ... Stupid . Anyway , i suck . I played till 12:30 , till they close . Raiders dun open for 24 hours , unlike Cyberdome ... I dun like that lady at the counter , she got attitude problem . Stupid lady , play stupid Maple Story ... Stupid sissy game ...
Walked home ... kinda tired . I continued with my composition . Think its still not bad . XuYang said its lousy ... he said almost all my compositions suck ... So hurting ... Well , he's just not worthy of my compositions ... joking
Dirtied my shirt again , forgot to say ... ChaiXia , its ur fault !
Still have my ACS Carnival tickets on my computer desk ... suppose to sell it , i think ... But , usually , i think everyone is gonna just return the whole chunk back . So , whats the point ? The carnival is a place where people come and throw their money into a bin called ACS Funds . Well , ACS , enough crap . Fund raising again ... ? For ? For robots for cleaning the school ? For escalators ? For TVs in every classrooms ? For air-conditioned classrooms ? For computers with plasma screens ? For printing nonsense and wasting paper ? For hiring more cleaners to clean the canteen ? For opening more food stalls in the canteen ? For opening McDonalds , Swesen's , Hagan Daaz or KFC ? For upgrading the lift ? For higher advanced technology for D&T ? Please , its all nonsense , u do not need all that for a proper school . A simple school with simple education . Did the parents vote for all that nonsense ? Think ACS , u did it urself and just need some people to help pay with the cost ... Well , im happy that ive graduated . Thanks , ACS , for the 10 year education .
Seems like , im the only one who hates ACS . My other friends still miss that place ... fools ... That inferno ... living hell , burning place with evil fiends and demons roamed the hill of Barker .
Supposed to play LAN with Stanley and Sylvester , but i wasnt feeling too good . So , i stayed home . I tried composing for a while ... I deleted quite a few pieces ... But finally , i managed to write something nicer than the rest . It was just nice , and refreshing , never wrote something like that before . Its kinda mystical , like Harry Potter ? Maybe not ... I liked it . I saved it down before heading to ChengSan CC .
I was late . Thought it was at CC , but it was somewhere else . Had to take bus ... so troublesome . Performed under the stars ... not that kinda romantic crap , it was under the burning hot sun ... not really that exaggerating ... but just somewhere there ... I played DaRuan again . It sucks ... again . Nevermind about the performance . Today , i kinda got an interesting news ... why nobody told me that ? Nevermind , got to know it today . Well , its a fortune . Trust me , its a fortune . Anyway ... ate at that place , it was like a zoo ... all surrounded by tents , and every animal was just running about , squeezing the hell out of everybody ... The fittest shall survive ... ? Guess it applies here ... The drink was horrible ... the food was not that bad ... the abalone porridge was good ... but ... just not as good as ... not gonna say .
Went back to CC after waiting like crazy . We wasted our time listening to Pipa concertos and solos . Crazy ... ? Its damn difficult ... Anyway ... nothing ...
Went to play LAN after leaving CC . They were all playing basketball before that , and i was sitting there playing Pipa . Sharon and Jasmine , both sucked , they didnt play , ChaiXia played . It has been so long since i last played CS , Counter Strike , not ChengSan . After ChaiXia left , i played Dota online ... changed computer to play on Battlenet . It was kinda fun . Today , so many people online . Sherwin and JJ , JinJie , was online ... MarkHan , Lincoln Tay and QiShen too ... But didnt manage to play with them ... i played with other people . My hero was so laggy , due to the connection , it moves only after 1 or 2 seconds i clicked on it . No wonder cant really kill anyone , but got killed so easliy ... Stupid . Anyway , i suck . I played till 12:30 , till they close . Raiders dun open for 24 hours , unlike Cyberdome ... I dun like that lady at the counter , she got attitude problem . Stupid lady , play stupid Maple Story ... Stupid sissy game ...
Walked home ... kinda tired . I continued with my composition . Think its still not bad . XuYang said its lousy ... he said almost all my compositions suck ... So hurting ... Well , he's just not worthy of my compositions ... joking
Dirtied my shirt again , forgot to say ... ChaiXia , its ur fault !
Still have my ACS Carnival tickets on my computer desk ... suppose to sell it , i think ... But , usually , i think everyone is gonna just return the whole chunk back . So , whats the point ? The carnival is a place where people come and throw their money into a bin called ACS Funds . Well , ACS , enough crap . Fund raising again ... ? For ? For robots for cleaning the school ? For escalators ? For TVs in every classrooms ? For air-conditioned classrooms ? For computers with plasma screens ? For printing nonsense and wasting paper ? For hiring more cleaners to clean the canteen ? For opening more food stalls in the canteen ? For opening McDonalds , Swesen's , Hagan Daaz or KFC ? For upgrading the lift ? For higher advanced technology for D&T ? Please , its all nonsense , u do not need all that for a proper school . A simple school with simple education . Did the parents vote for all that nonsense ? Think ACS , u did it urself and just need some people to help pay with the cost ... Well , im happy that ive graduated . Thanks , ACS , for the 10 year education .
Seems like , im the only one who hates ACS . My other friends still miss that place ... fools ... That inferno ... living hell , burning place with evil fiends and demons roamed the hill of Barker .
Friday, February 18, 2005
Screwed Up Chords
Went VS again . Took bus 76 , its damn long ... i sat there listening to music , Jasmine's discman . Think u forgot to ask it back from me ...
VS was just as fun , even nicer today . The boys there are really a fun lot . I enjoyed my time there . Teaching them was more fun than helping out at ACS . It sucks ... VS is so much better , in attitude and standard wise . I believe VS will get a gold or at least a silver . Gold , i believe ... Really enjoyed playing with u guys !
After practice , WeiLiang , XuYang and i took bus 135 to ChengSan CC . It took us almost an hour , because there was a jam at Paya Lebar , it was peak hour . No choice , nothing to do . Anyway , WeiLiang , dun scare me by asking that kidna question ... please pick another topic next time ... might scare me ... We listened to many songs , from Pipa Concertos to various solos ... guess it was really boring . Then , we listened to some ErHu songs . WeiLiang showed me his MP3 player . I dun even know how to work it , anyhow press ... im too laggy , trapped in the 60s . The songs were nice . ChenJun ...
The performance was horrible . I flopped everything . I was too tired to improvise . I anyhow played , and i gave weird chords with super weird beats ... 5 sharing one score ... pro ? Yes ...
I think i gained weight ... Anyway , i ate 4 bowls of Laksa . It was too good , cant give in to the temptation of anything that taste or looks like curry . I ate too much at Baba's too anyway ... Need to lose weight now ... Now .
Heard some shocking news . Well , ive expected that already . Coward trying to hide its lily liver . Well , i knew it , its just weird why it hasnt begun . Well , now it has , think some little girl will just enjoy its company . Have fun .
Kinda tired ... need to wash my green T-shirt , because i still have to wear it tomorrow . It was stained with Laksa , all ChaiXia's fault ... joking ... should be Sharon's fault . She talk alot , actually to think of it . She kept interupting ... so busybody ...
Listening to some of my MIDIs now ... boring ... ? No . Cant think of anything to write today ... just too tired . Give me a break will u ? Get lost and out of my life !
Snore snore ...
VS was just as fun , even nicer today . The boys there are really a fun lot . I enjoyed my time there . Teaching them was more fun than helping out at ACS . It sucks ... VS is so much better , in attitude and standard wise . I believe VS will get a gold or at least a silver . Gold , i believe ... Really enjoyed playing with u guys !
After practice , WeiLiang , XuYang and i took bus 135 to ChengSan CC . It took us almost an hour , because there was a jam at Paya Lebar , it was peak hour . No choice , nothing to do . Anyway , WeiLiang , dun scare me by asking that kidna question ... please pick another topic next time ... might scare me ... We listened to many songs , from Pipa Concertos to various solos ... guess it was really boring . Then , we listened to some ErHu songs . WeiLiang showed me his MP3 player . I dun even know how to work it , anyhow press ... im too laggy , trapped in the 60s . The songs were nice . ChenJun ...
The performance was horrible . I flopped everything . I was too tired to improvise . I anyhow played , and i gave weird chords with super weird beats ... 5 sharing one score ... pro ? Yes ...
I think i gained weight ... Anyway , i ate 4 bowls of Laksa . It was too good , cant give in to the temptation of anything that taste or looks like curry . I ate too much at Baba's too anyway ... Need to lose weight now ... Now .
Heard some shocking news . Well , ive expected that already . Coward trying to hide its lily liver . Well , i knew it , its just weird why it hasnt begun . Well , now it has , think some little girl will just enjoy its company . Have fun .
Kinda tired ... need to wash my green T-shirt , because i still have to wear it tomorrow . It was stained with Laksa , all ChaiXia's fault ... joking ... should be Sharon's fault . She talk alot , actually to think of it . She kept interupting ... so busybody ...
Listening to some of my MIDIs now ... boring ... ? No . Cant think of anything to write today ... just too tired . Give me a break will u ? Get lost and out of my life !
Snore snore ...
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Please Flush After Thinking
Had lunch and dinner at Baba's . It was opened only yesterday . Think i ate too much . I really cant stand my uncle , which one ? The one with bad sense of direction . I dun understand him ... really irritating sometimes . The way he talk and the way he react ... really weird . He ordered extra rice , when all he wants is only one , and i repeat , one spoonfull , i repeat , one spoonfull only ! The way he eat ... he cannot finish anything , he likes to take a little bit of this and that . Even a small piece of cabbage , its so small , he have to cut it into half and leave the other half on the plate . Or fish , he has to chew and spit it out sometimes . Coffee ? He can stir it till there's only half a cup left . Stupid right ? Cant take it ... im going crazy ... I hate people to open my door without closing them . He always open it , without closing after leaving my room . Irritating !
Today was really boring . Sometimes , i just wonder ... People complain that i spent to little time with them , but when i do this and that , they are always not free . I bought a DVD , its called " Story of McDull " ... i think ... its damn funny , yet still enlightening and touching . I saw it at Stanley's place . We laughed like hell ... well , now i got it , i played it for Mom and my uncle . Think they fell alseep . In the end , i finished it myself . Sometimes , i just wanna spend a little time together , or just do somethings together , but no fail they'll either go out or sleep . Its impossible . Felt kinda hurt . As usual ... i cant really trust Mom with her words . Ever since young , sometimes i feel kinda gullible to believe what she said . Ive always ended up crying inside ... Felt the pain . Its childhood ...
After dinner , i went to the children playground just opposite Baba's . I somehow felt like im in Shire , the town where the Hobbits lived in LOTR . It kinda reminds me of that . I sat at the swing . I love swings . But i think im too heavy for it now . No , it didnt break . It screeched ... like its calling for help . I sat there , swinging , meanwhile , childhood memories came flushing back . Those beautiful flawless days back at AngMoKio . The hill , the basketball courts , the market and the learning centres . Swinging under the clear blue skies , feeling the breeze on my face . Feeling high above ground , catching spiders , flying kites . All my childhood friends , those neighbourhood feeling . I missed those days . Till , that stupid Mayflower Primary came along and settled its butt on that once so beautiful hill . So sad ...
Now its all gone , im only left with nothing but memories . But im not sad , im still happy that i have that left . Memories , just think that they're the most worthy things if u were to look at the brighter side of things . At least , they were once with u . But sometimes , i just wished that they'll go away , so i can start anew . If u were to think of it , if it wasnt for this kinda memories , what other guides will there be ? They'll lead u off ur mistakes , they'll answer ur questions to many things why they are what they are . Ignore me , im just having another mood swing . Like a pendulum . Not under the influence of gravity , but under the influence of my surroundings . Maybe today it might be swinging towards the darker sides a little ... Oscillation . How many single oscillatory cycle a week ? Pendulous mood swings ...
Ive just changed my template for this stupid blog . Its for my anger and stress , and my rendition of many things . Not music , but views on life ? Its kinda stupid ... Well , its kinda easy to do all these things , just that i lack some components , like tag boards or pictures . Check it out if ur free ... www.thoughtthatthoughtsarecrazy.blogspot.com
I managed to change the song on my blog . Now , its that Sony Cam advertisement song . I uploaded it myself . Now its done , i can relax . For those who are looking for it , u can find it in ... dun tell u . Ask me personally . Submit photos to my Friendster profile if u guys have any pictures of me , or with u guys . Thanks .
What if tomorrow never comes ? That thought crossed me mind , what if i dun wake up in the morning ? Tomorrow , just so unpredictable . A sunrise or a sunset ? It'll mean alot to many that they can see the sunrise again after each day . For me , i'll be happy to see the sunset . Finally , a day is over , what ive got to do is just to wait for the next . That's how i view life , how i pass my days on earth . Where do i go next after my days here ? Next dimension ? Back in time to undo all my mistakes ? Or what i wake up to find that all these was only a dream ? Live for another generation ? Am i in a coma ? People are waiting for me to wake up ? Crazy thoughts ... but what if its true ... ? Tomorrow , live without regrets ... ? Tomorrow , another day to go through or another day to live ... ? Like a cup , half emptied or half filled ? Tomorrow will just come again , like tomorrow , it'll repeat itself .
Today was really boring . Sometimes , i just wonder ... People complain that i spent to little time with them , but when i do this and that , they are always not free . I bought a DVD , its called " Story of McDull " ... i think ... its damn funny , yet still enlightening and touching . I saw it at Stanley's place . We laughed like hell ... well , now i got it , i played it for Mom and my uncle . Think they fell alseep . In the end , i finished it myself . Sometimes , i just wanna spend a little time together , or just do somethings together , but no fail they'll either go out or sleep . Its impossible . Felt kinda hurt . As usual ... i cant really trust Mom with her words . Ever since young , sometimes i feel kinda gullible to believe what she said . Ive always ended up crying inside ... Felt the pain . Its childhood ...
After dinner , i went to the children playground just opposite Baba's . I somehow felt like im in Shire , the town where the Hobbits lived in LOTR . It kinda reminds me of that . I sat at the swing . I love swings . But i think im too heavy for it now . No , it didnt break . It screeched ... like its calling for help . I sat there , swinging , meanwhile , childhood memories came flushing back . Those beautiful flawless days back at AngMoKio . The hill , the basketball courts , the market and the learning centres . Swinging under the clear blue skies , feeling the breeze on my face . Feeling high above ground , catching spiders , flying kites . All my childhood friends , those neighbourhood feeling . I missed those days . Till , that stupid Mayflower Primary came along and settled its butt on that once so beautiful hill . So sad ...
Now its all gone , im only left with nothing but memories . But im not sad , im still happy that i have that left . Memories , just think that they're the most worthy things if u were to look at the brighter side of things . At least , they were once with u . But sometimes , i just wished that they'll go away , so i can start anew . If u were to think of it , if it wasnt for this kinda memories , what other guides will there be ? They'll lead u off ur mistakes , they'll answer ur questions to many things why they are what they are . Ignore me , im just having another mood swing . Like a pendulum . Not under the influence of gravity , but under the influence of my surroundings . Maybe today it might be swinging towards the darker sides a little ... Oscillation . How many single oscillatory cycle a week ? Pendulous mood swings ...
Ive just changed my template for this stupid blog . Its for my anger and stress , and my rendition of many things . Not music , but views on life ? Its kinda stupid ... Well , its kinda easy to do all these things , just that i lack some components , like tag boards or pictures . Check it out if ur free ... www.thoughtthatthoughtsarecrazy.blogspot.com
I managed to change the song on my blog . Now , its that Sony Cam advertisement song . I uploaded it myself . Now its done , i can relax . For those who are looking for it , u can find it in ... dun tell u . Ask me personally . Submit photos to my Friendster profile if u guys have any pictures of me , or with u guys . Thanks .
What if tomorrow never comes ? That thought crossed me mind , what if i dun wake up in the morning ? Tomorrow , just so unpredictable . A sunrise or a sunset ? It'll mean alot to many that they can see the sunrise again after each day . For me , i'll be happy to see the sunset . Finally , a day is over , what ive got to do is just to wait for the next . That's how i view life , how i pass my days on earth . Where do i go next after my days here ? Next dimension ? Back in time to undo all my mistakes ? Or what i wake up to find that all these was only a dream ? Live for another generation ? Am i in a coma ? People are waiting for me to wake up ? Crazy thoughts ... but what if its true ... ? Tomorrow , live without regrets ... ? Tomorrow , another day to go through or another day to live ... ? Like a cup , half emptied or half filled ? Tomorrow will just come again , like tomorrow , it'll repeat itself .
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Money Like Soil ?
Almost slept on the bus again ... missed my stop , so i had to walk a distance .
Went out with Wilson and Ben Goh today . We watched " Hide and Seek " . It was a nice show . Not really scary , just brain wrecking ... brainstormed alot ... but it wasnt what it seemed . The ending was just shocking , not as in term of horror , but just unbelievable . Didnt expect quite alot of things though ... nice show .
I was actually late today as usual . But this time , i was late for 1 hour and 15 min . Late ? The latest record was 5 hours . Imagine ...
We ate lunch . Pathetic little ... After eating we went to play LAN at Cyberdome . The aunty there recognised me so she charged me cheaper . We played for a while then we went to watch our movie ... Guess it wasnt that fun after all ... Think we met MarkHan online . He's a loser . Thats all i can say . Hate him , and his stupid attitude . Wilson sucked at Dota ... funny ...
I ate the Marcaroni with cheese and bacon again at Carrefour . It was not bad ... Ben Goh kept staring at it ... think i got his idea , but i just continued eating . Ben Goh is our " Sleeping Beauty " . In school , he can sleep in any position . He'd mastered the ways of sleeping ... He's the fattest guy or with the highest percentage in our level . Reminds me of some kinda polar bear ... He went home . But Wilson and i met Isaac at Plaza Sing . Isaac , Wilson and i ended up playing LAN again , but in VS . By the way , VS is Virtual Surf and not Victoria School .
After playing , Isaac went home ... on our way to Douby Ghaut MRT , we kept making fun of Wilson . He's damn funny ... the way he talk ... like lacking in energy , like in some lethargic manner . His body is like a sand bag ... or rather ... without energy . A simple push can just make him fall ... funny ... Wilson and i just make a crazy stupid pair . Last time , we were looking for dinner , didnt know what to eat . In the end , we were just walking around and around laughing like crazy and then got really tired ... it took an hour . This time , luckily there was Ben Goh ... ?
Wilson wanted to buy some stuff ... but it was at Paradiz ... so far ! I was forced to tag along ... no choice ... Then he offered me a treat . He was willing to fetch me to some bus stop where i can take bus home . What a good deal ! Stupid ... then , we ended up laughing like crazy again ... was damn tired . When we reached , found that the place wasnt there ... ? Or , the shop is gone ... ? I wanted to kill him . So we sat at McDonalds ... it was closed , so he treated me drink from the Mama shop . I was really tired ... we didnt know what to do again ... so instead of playing LAN again , he wanted to go walk about . I was so tired , and yet he wanted to walk !? So i went off and took a bus home ... he kept calling me , but i didnt turn back ... too tired . Dunno where he go also ... think home . Rich kid , take taxi ... He's damn rich . He lives in some kinda weird place near school . He has a grandfather clock , its crystal-like ... He's house got so many other crystals and rooms ... Rich kid ... rich rich rich .
Wealth , a fortunate or a misfortunate happening ?
Went out with Wilson and Ben Goh today . We watched " Hide and Seek " . It was a nice show . Not really scary , just brain wrecking ... brainstormed alot ... but it wasnt what it seemed . The ending was just shocking , not as in term of horror , but just unbelievable . Didnt expect quite alot of things though ... nice show .
I was actually late today as usual . But this time , i was late for 1 hour and 15 min . Late ? The latest record was 5 hours . Imagine ...
We ate lunch . Pathetic little ... After eating we went to play LAN at Cyberdome . The aunty there recognised me so she charged me cheaper . We played for a while then we went to watch our movie ... Guess it wasnt that fun after all ... Think we met MarkHan online . He's a loser . Thats all i can say . Hate him , and his stupid attitude . Wilson sucked at Dota ... funny ...
I ate the Marcaroni with cheese and bacon again at Carrefour . It was not bad ... Ben Goh kept staring at it ... think i got his idea , but i just continued eating . Ben Goh is our " Sleeping Beauty " . In school , he can sleep in any position . He'd mastered the ways of sleeping ... He's the fattest guy or with the highest percentage in our level . Reminds me of some kinda polar bear ... He went home . But Wilson and i met Isaac at Plaza Sing . Isaac , Wilson and i ended up playing LAN again , but in VS . By the way , VS is Virtual Surf and not Victoria School .
After playing , Isaac went home ... on our way to Douby Ghaut MRT , we kept making fun of Wilson . He's damn funny ... the way he talk ... like lacking in energy , like in some lethargic manner . His body is like a sand bag ... or rather ... without energy . A simple push can just make him fall ... funny ... Wilson and i just make a crazy stupid pair . Last time , we were looking for dinner , didnt know what to eat . In the end , we were just walking around and around laughing like crazy and then got really tired ... it took an hour . This time , luckily there was Ben Goh ... ?
Wilson wanted to buy some stuff ... but it was at Paradiz ... so far ! I was forced to tag along ... no choice ... Then he offered me a treat . He was willing to fetch me to some bus stop where i can take bus home . What a good deal ! Stupid ... then , we ended up laughing like crazy again ... was damn tired . When we reached , found that the place wasnt there ... ? Or , the shop is gone ... ? I wanted to kill him . So we sat at McDonalds ... it was closed , so he treated me drink from the Mama shop . I was really tired ... we didnt know what to do again ... so instead of playing LAN again , he wanted to go walk about . I was so tired , and yet he wanted to walk !? So i went off and took a bus home ... he kept calling me , but i didnt turn back ... too tired . Dunno where he go also ... think home . Rich kid , take taxi ... He's damn rich . He lives in some kinda weird place near school . He has a grandfather clock , its crystal-like ... He's house got so many other crystals and rooms ... Rich kid ... rich rich rich .
Wealth , a fortunate or a misfortunate happening ?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Ching Cheong Chiang
Its now 6:30am in the morning ... supposingly to write my entry before i sleep . Guess im too tired , i fell asleep while waiting for the Windows to start . Just woke up , because sleeping in jeans is just too uncomfortable .
Wu laoshi , a Chinese Opera instructor , or performer , called me earlier on . She's from TAS theatre , " YiShuZhiJia " . Its been a long time since i last played with them . Today , i went for recording . I travelled to Chinatown by bus . Reached around 4:30pm . She asked me there so early for nothing . I sat there under the air-con , listening to Opera music . Then i went upstairs to their storeroom , to help her listen or check the instruments . There was a YueQin , but this one only has 3 strings , and a SanXian , a Ruan , and a LiuQin , also 3 strings one . All their instruments are in bad condition , cant really use for playing ... So i had early dinner with them at TAS . Ate chicken rice ... XiaoZhang came later , he is the Omni-Arts , WuGuoWen's Orchestra , Concert Master . So we went there by Wu's car . It was kinda small ... I had to hold my Pipa , so imagine ... three person at the back with a Pipa , after fetching WeiFeng from SCH . WeiFeng very bad ... How can u say such a thing !
The recording area is at this old building , previously the old MOE building . The recording room looked so nice ... the table cum stand is so unique ... We played through the pieces . That old fellow keep saying i play wrongly , when i played correctly . WeiFeng was like telling me , " its ok its ok ... its like that one lah ... " Funny ... WeiFeng had to play YueQin , Ruan and SanXian . But , in the end , he didnt touch the YueQIn at all . Firstly , the YueQin sounds like shit , and secondly , its so damn hard to press . The recording was kinda fun , but scary . Because , when u play wrongly , everything have to start from top again . There was only one sheet of score , we've to come up with our own accompaniment . Im not really familiar with Opera music , so i played almost everything on the score . There was one ... damn scary , full of semi-quavers , but no choice , i played all ... Poor Dizi , he had to play almost everything too , because he's so called the " main lead " . He was so thirsty after blowing that " XiaoFangNiu " piece . The most horrible piece was the one where WeiFeng and i have to accompany a JingHu . How i know what to play ! After playing , they complained that we were a little bit too ' stiff ' , too hard sounding . They want more of the ' Lun ' ... so we gave more ' Lun ' , but how are we supposed to ' Lun ' !? So in the end , we recorded the song with the usual accompaniment , because the one that we tried using ' Lun ' sounds ghostly ...
After recording , Wu gave us a cheque . So little money for that piece of shit !? But its still fun ... nevermind ... We managed to squeeze in that small car till Douby Ghaut . Before was 3 behind , on the journey back , its 4 at the back . I was sitting in front because i was ' bigger ' . Mom came to fetch me , then we gave WeiFeng a lift back home , because we were on our way to Malaysia , for ' dinner ' , i was damn hungry .
I feel like vomitting ...
Wu laoshi , a Chinese Opera instructor , or performer , called me earlier on . She's from TAS theatre , " YiShuZhiJia " . Its been a long time since i last played with them . Today , i went for recording . I travelled to Chinatown by bus . Reached around 4:30pm . She asked me there so early for nothing . I sat there under the air-con , listening to Opera music . Then i went upstairs to their storeroom , to help her listen or check the instruments . There was a YueQin , but this one only has 3 strings , and a SanXian , a Ruan , and a LiuQin , also 3 strings one . All their instruments are in bad condition , cant really use for playing ... So i had early dinner with them at TAS . Ate chicken rice ... XiaoZhang came later , he is the Omni-Arts , WuGuoWen's Orchestra , Concert Master . So we went there by Wu's car . It was kinda small ... I had to hold my Pipa , so imagine ... three person at the back with a Pipa , after fetching WeiFeng from SCH . WeiFeng very bad ... How can u say such a thing !
The recording area is at this old building , previously the old MOE building . The recording room looked so nice ... the table cum stand is so unique ... We played through the pieces . That old fellow keep saying i play wrongly , when i played correctly . WeiFeng was like telling me , " its ok its ok ... its like that one lah ... " Funny ... WeiFeng had to play YueQin , Ruan and SanXian . But , in the end , he didnt touch the YueQIn at all . Firstly , the YueQin sounds like shit , and secondly , its so damn hard to press . The recording was kinda fun , but scary . Because , when u play wrongly , everything have to start from top again . There was only one sheet of score , we've to come up with our own accompaniment . Im not really familiar with Opera music , so i played almost everything on the score . There was one ... damn scary , full of semi-quavers , but no choice , i played all ... Poor Dizi , he had to play almost everything too , because he's so called the " main lead " . He was so thirsty after blowing that " XiaoFangNiu " piece . The most horrible piece was the one where WeiFeng and i have to accompany a JingHu . How i know what to play ! After playing , they complained that we were a little bit too ' stiff ' , too hard sounding . They want more of the ' Lun ' ... so we gave more ' Lun ' , but how are we supposed to ' Lun ' !? So in the end , we recorded the song with the usual accompaniment , because the one that we tried using ' Lun ' sounds ghostly ...
After recording , Wu gave us a cheque . So little money for that piece of shit !? But its still fun ... nevermind ... We managed to squeeze in that small car till Douby Ghaut . Before was 3 behind , on the journey back , its 4 at the back . I was sitting in front because i was ' bigger ' . Mom came to fetch me , then we gave WeiFeng a lift back home , because we were on our way to Malaysia , for ' dinner ' , i was damn hungry .
I feel like vomitting ...
Monday, February 14, 2005
The Flame Is Slowly Going Off
Valentine's Day ... a perfect day for all sweet happenings ... Well , what do i have ? Nothing ... ? Sometimes i just dream a little too much ... Wake up Gildon !
Went to eat with my uncle . Supposingly Baba's ... but its not open . He made so much noise ... complained so much . Sometimes its just irritating . Pesky ? Yes . But not that kinda irritating ... annoying . So we ate downstairs . I hate the drink stall uncle . He slacks and his attitude sucked . I hate him .
Went out with ChaiXia and Kenny . What a date ... should've stayed home to work on one of the craps that im doing at home . Ive finished my crappy song . Still not done with the TanBo Ensemble yet ... thinking ... dunno how to continue . ChaiXia and i ate at KFC . Kenny came later so he had to eat alone . Well , there was still us , we did ' help ' . The movie starts at 8:35pm . We bought the front row tickets , the others were all selling fast . No choice ... Kenny kept complaining ... wanted to just shut his mouth with tissue paper . He kept pulling the strings on my clothe . Its meant for tightening the collar . So irritating ... source of irritation .
Constantine was not bad at all . Its all about the deal between heaven and hell , happening on earth . Its all twisted truth . But , what is the truth anyway ? The one and only ? Guess the story wasnt that bad ... it sounded like its the deal . But its all twisted . It made Christianity seemed as if its deals about demons and angels . So mystical , and so demonic . To me , its just entertainment . The truth is just myths . Though the evidence , the holy words , the predictions , i still dun believe in such things . So i shall go to hell ? I dunno ... Or do they have different believes in hell and heaven ? Buddhist's cornersand Hindu's corners ... funny . Multi-Religious .
Mom brought me to my fifth aunt's Nasi Lemak stall . Its located at Geylang , near TeoAnn . I got so many aunts ... so there's different stalls at different places . I love her curry ! Its just unique . I drank the vinegar from the claypot pig trotters with vinegar . I love it too . Vinegar , its something that i just cant get tired of . The taste , the smell lingers on ...
Then ... there was this lady . She's mute . Like the usual ones , they walk about in hawkers , carrying hand-made items , meant for selling . She walked around , holding a sign . At first it just came to me that its the same old thing . Well , have we ever taken any notice of this people when all the need is just a little bit of attention ? We're either too busy eating or talking . I took notice of her . She carried not only loaded bags , she also smiled genteelly . Its all that she needs . Her smile , it got my heart . I didnt buy anything , Mom will sure scold me , anyway i dun need soft toys ... Its the appreciation ? Its the small token from the heart ? Anyone will appreciate such hard work ? Bet no one will pay any attention to such people . I watched as she moved from tables to tables , then across the road to another street . I dunno why , tears started to cloud my eyes . I didnt let it down , i held it back .
Just remembered ... Mom had a terrible haircut before new year . It was horrible ! It still is anyway ... Mine was much better , because it doesnt look any different ...
I just thought of something . Something that'll really leave an impression behind . Do u look back to wave goodbye to your friends after alighting ? I look out for things like that . It'll leave an impression . I'll always look back and wait till the bus moves on . I dunno why ... Or , sometimes u look at ur friends at a distance , just hoping that they'll turn around to look at u . But when u dun , they'll somehow be watching u instead . So , for me , im always looking around , to see whether there's that somebody . Its a wont . A custom already ...
Love is in the air tonight ? Didnt buy Mom flowers this year . She asked for her flowers ... funny . I told her , " Wa ... so thick-skinned ... didnt get still dare to ask ! " Valentine's Day ... what is this day all about ? I think its the most romantic day of any others in the calendar . But it all depends on what is gonna happen , isnt it ? Its the best day for proposing ... ? Best for patching up ... ? Best for first kiss ... ? Best for anything just sweet ... I think i can just watch at a corner . Just wondering and thinking of stupid old times ...
History repeated .
Went to eat with my uncle . Supposingly Baba's ... but its not open . He made so much noise ... complained so much . Sometimes its just irritating . Pesky ? Yes . But not that kinda irritating ... annoying . So we ate downstairs . I hate the drink stall uncle . He slacks and his attitude sucked . I hate him .
Went out with ChaiXia and Kenny . What a date ... should've stayed home to work on one of the craps that im doing at home . Ive finished my crappy song . Still not done with the TanBo Ensemble yet ... thinking ... dunno how to continue . ChaiXia and i ate at KFC . Kenny came later so he had to eat alone . Well , there was still us , we did ' help ' . The movie starts at 8:35pm . We bought the front row tickets , the others were all selling fast . No choice ... Kenny kept complaining ... wanted to just shut his mouth with tissue paper . He kept pulling the strings on my clothe . Its meant for tightening the collar . So irritating ... source of irritation .
Constantine was not bad at all . Its all about the deal between heaven and hell , happening on earth . Its all twisted truth . But , what is the truth anyway ? The one and only ? Guess the story wasnt that bad ... it sounded like its the deal . But its all twisted . It made Christianity seemed as if its deals about demons and angels . So mystical , and so demonic . To me , its just entertainment . The truth is just myths . Though the evidence , the holy words , the predictions , i still dun believe in such things . So i shall go to hell ? I dunno ... Or do they have different believes in hell and heaven ? Buddhist's cornersand Hindu's corners ... funny . Multi-Religious .
Mom brought me to my fifth aunt's Nasi Lemak stall . Its located at Geylang , near TeoAnn . I got so many aunts ... so there's different stalls at different places . I love her curry ! Its just unique . I drank the vinegar from the claypot pig trotters with vinegar . I love it too . Vinegar , its something that i just cant get tired of . The taste , the smell lingers on ...
Then ... there was this lady . She's mute . Like the usual ones , they walk about in hawkers , carrying hand-made items , meant for selling . She walked around , holding a sign . At first it just came to me that its the same old thing . Well , have we ever taken any notice of this people when all the need is just a little bit of attention ? We're either too busy eating or talking . I took notice of her . She carried not only loaded bags , she also smiled genteelly . Its all that she needs . Her smile , it got my heart . I didnt buy anything , Mom will sure scold me , anyway i dun need soft toys ... Its the appreciation ? Its the small token from the heart ? Anyone will appreciate such hard work ? Bet no one will pay any attention to such people . I watched as she moved from tables to tables , then across the road to another street . I dunno why , tears started to cloud my eyes . I didnt let it down , i held it back .
Just remembered ... Mom had a terrible haircut before new year . It was horrible ! It still is anyway ... Mine was much better , because it doesnt look any different ...
I just thought of something . Something that'll really leave an impression behind . Do u look back to wave goodbye to your friends after alighting ? I look out for things like that . It'll leave an impression . I'll always look back and wait till the bus moves on . I dunno why ... Or , sometimes u look at ur friends at a distance , just hoping that they'll turn around to look at u . But when u dun , they'll somehow be watching u instead . So , for me , im always looking around , to see whether there's that somebody . Its a wont . A custom already ...
Love is in the air tonight ? Didnt buy Mom flowers this year . She asked for her flowers ... funny . I told her , " Wa ... so thick-skinned ... didnt get still dare to ask ! " Valentine's Day ... what is this day all about ? I think its the most romantic day of any others in the calendar . But it all depends on what is gonna happen , isnt it ? Its the best day for proposing ... ? Best for patching up ... ? Best for first kiss ... ? Best for anything just sweet ... I think i can just watch at a corner . Just wondering and thinking of stupid old times ...
History repeated .
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Motherland
Today there wasnt any practice . We had a reunion at CC . It is a tradition in CSCO , meanwhile its a combination with the reception of our previous concert . We had buffet instead of the usual pot-luck . There wasnt much people there , lesser half of the orchestra wasnt present . I had to perform at 5:40pm after the celebration . So we went to Zheng's place , then later to CC again . The cab fares were all covered by CC , so i need not worry about that . They kinda took a longer time than planned . We started to wait in stage at 6pm . They were taking a long time for the games . We had no choice . Today i played DaRuan , wanna have a change . During our own private practice , it was totally horrible , un-listen-able . On stage , we were kinda bored so we made up stupid ideas of how we should waste time . Really funny . YiLeng was not there , XinYu took over . However , guess it was alot better on stage . I played with brains again . Really made my own scores out of the Pipa scores ... Guess the best was " YingChunJieFu " . I liked my rendition of that song ... and the editing i made to the scores ...
Went back to Zheng's after the performance . Blur blur FuKang , he lost WeiMing's red T-shirt . Before heading towards CC , we did watch some DVDs and VCDs . I requested for the " YuHouTingYuan " ... Zheng was like ... " not again !? " I find that piece very nice . It was filled throughout with the Taiwanese flavour . I liked it . His style of composition was something like mine . ChaiXia agreed . I loved that song . Though i think it can still be improved ... the recording was kinda bad . I borrowed the " TanYue " and " YanZi " home . Zheng didnt hesitate . Actually i shouldnt . Before i left , Zheng said something ... i got his idea . I got ur ideas , Zheng . Its what im going to do . And hopefully it'll be right and it'll be successful . Thanks .
CSCO is a starting point . It opened up my CO circle . It opened up my life to a whole new different concepts of different music . It helped me in areas of music and character wise . It gave me my identity . It brought me many experience , both good and sad . I made friends , i made enemies . Its the starting point to all these . Do i regret ? YouGuo's fault ? No . If it wasnt for him , i wouldnt be who i am today . Is that meant to be good ? Im not sure ... Like a race , theres a starting point and an ending point . My starting point was CSCO . My ending point will sure be back to where i start . CSCO is a home , its somewhere i grew up in . Like a child , no matter how far they flew , they'll fly home one day . I'll never leave CSCO . Its not a promise , its an oath .
Went back to Zheng's after the performance . Blur blur FuKang , he lost WeiMing's red T-shirt . Before heading towards CC , we did watch some DVDs and VCDs . I requested for the " YuHouTingYuan " ... Zheng was like ... " not again !? " I find that piece very nice . It was filled throughout with the Taiwanese flavour . I liked it . His style of composition was something like mine . ChaiXia agreed . I loved that song . Though i think it can still be improved ... the recording was kinda bad . I borrowed the " TanYue " and " YanZi " home . Zheng didnt hesitate . Actually i shouldnt . Before i left , Zheng said something ... i got his idea . I got ur ideas , Zheng . Its what im going to do . And hopefully it'll be right and it'll be successful . Thanks .
CSCO is a starting point . It opened up my CO circle . It opened up my life to a whole new different concepts of different music . It helped me in areas of music and character wise . It gave me my identity . It brought me many experience , both good and sad . I made friends , i made enemies . Its the starting point to all these . Do i regret ? YouGuo's fault ? No . If it wasnt for him , i wouldnt be who i am today . Is that meant to be good ? Im not sure ... Like a race , theres a starting point and an ending point . My starting point was CSCO . My ending point will sure be back to where i start . CSCO is a home , its somewhere i grew up in . Like a child , no matter how far they flew , they'll fly home one day . I'll never leave CSCO . Its not a promise , its an oath .
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Need I ?
Went out with Ben Boo , SuHui and Jonathan . We went to XinTian's house ... we were wondering if she has a Sheng , a Pipa , a Drum and a Dizi at home . Indeed ! She has a Pipa and a Drum ! We had steamboat . Ben finished the meat , SuHui finished the prawns , and i , finished the sotongs . It was fun .
As usual ... when two group of people from two different worlds collide , nothing will happen . Its nothing , and it means silence and totally nothing . We ended up talking about CO stuff ... they were from NUSCO . WanYing's elder sister was there . We talked alot ... In the end , Ben suggested that we should watch the SY VCD . It was horrible and i think it still is . In fact , worse ... After they all went off , i stayed . Then there came another Jonathan . He's really funny and nice . I stayed for dinner . Stanley was coming , that was what i heard , so i decided to wait .
We had steamboat again for dinner . XinTian's father played some Cantonese music , its still somehow CO . There were many different songs , from different regions . Her parents do know alot about CO and even their politics ! Really shocking ... looking at them , watching and listening to what they're talking about ... There was a total of 3 YangQin players on the table . There was Stanley , XinTian and one more , she's called HuiMin , think spelled wrongly though . She's the eldest . She's really nice and friendly , always smiling . I like her .
Left for Stanley's place at about 9pm . Before we left , XinTian took out her GuZheng . It was a ChaoZhou Zheng . She didnt know , so i explained it to her . Its like those in TeoAnn ... the stand is not meant for YangQin and the pick that they gave is not meant to play that Zheng . Kinda late though ... The LRT was so damn slow ... slugglish ... We reached at about already 9:45pm . We watched one damn damn damn funny movie . Its the pig show thingi that YouGuo always showed me . He showed me the pictures , but now i see the real movie . Its really funny ... but in the end , we didnt wanna watch , because its getting a bit more realistic , as in morally , and its getting a little more serious . We were just looking for fun . Wanted to play Mahjong , but ... Stanley's sister took it out . So , we ended up watching different movies , or listening to different songs in Stanley's room . We watched Sex In The City , some japanese anime , FayeWong's MTV and some stand up comedy . We listened to many different kinda YangQin songs , Buddha remixes , Stupid songs , FayeWong's and some other weird songs . Left home around 2am . Late ... really late . I took a cab , i used up my HongBao money for today . Im left with $2 ...
Sometimes , quality is unbeatable . But , support is also quite an advantage to everything . But ,. if ur quality is not good . Its totally useless if u find a opponent with better quality , its sure that one will lose . This world is so unfair . Where is the justice ? Like in my entries long time back , i mentioned about justice . Its obvious that things are corrupted and that justice only exist in a sense that it doesnt do what it should do . It does what its told . Justice isnt the real justice . So its up in heaven ? Its too late . Its causing all these chaos .
As usual ... when two group of people from two different worlds collide , nothing will happen . Its nothing , and it means silence and totally nothing . We ended up talking about CO stuff ... they were from NUSCO . WanYing's elder sister was there . We talked alot ... In the end , Ben suggested that we should watch the SY VCD . It was horrible and i think it still is . In fact , worse ... After they all went off , i stayed . Then there came another Jonathan . He's really funny and nice . I stayed for dinner . Stanley was coming , that was what i heard , so i decided to wait .
We had steamboat again for dinner . XinTian's father played some Cantonese music , its still somehow CO . There were many different songs , from different regions . Her parents do know alot about CO and even their politics ! Really shocking ... looking at them , watching and listening to what they're talking about ... There was a total of 3 YangQin players on the table . There was Stanley , XinTian and one more , she's called HuiMin , think spelled wrongly though . She's the eldest . She's really nice and friendly , always smiling . I like her .
Left for Stanley's place at about 9pm . Before we left , XinTian took out her GuZheng . It was a ChaoZhou Zheng . She didnt know , so i explained it to her . Its like those in TeoAnn ... the stand is not meant for YangQin and the pick that they gave is not meant to play that Zheng . Kinda late though ... The LRT was so damn slow ... slugglish ... We reached at about already 9:45pm . We watched one damn damn damn funny movie . Its the pig show thingi that YouGuo always showed me . He showed me the pictures , but now i see the real movie . Its really funny ... but in the end , we didnt wanna watch , because its getting a bit more realistic , as in morally , and its getting a little more serious . We were just looking for fun . Wanted to play Mahjong , but ... Stanley's sister took it out . So , we ended up watching different movies , or listening to different songs in Stanley's room . We watched Sex In The City , some japanese anime , FayeWong's MTV and some stand up comedy . We listened to many different kinda YangQin songs , Buddha remixes , Stupid songs , FayeWong's and some other weird songs . Left home around 2am . Late ... really late . I took a cab , i used up my HongBao money for today . Im left with $2 ...
Sometimes , quality is unbeatable . But , support is also quite an advantage to everything . But ,. if ur quality is not good . Its totally useless if u find a opponent with better quality , its sure that one will lose . This world is so unfair . Where is the justice ? Like in my entries long time back , i mentioned about justice . Its obvious that things are corrupted and that justice only exist in a sense that it doesnt do what it should do . It does what its told . Justice isnt the real justice . So its up in heaven ? Its too late . Its causing all these chaos .
Friday, February 11, 2005
What Makes A Character ?
Went to Victoria School today . Maybe i prefer a all boys surrounding ... used to it . People there were nice . I liked the story the Pipa guy told me ... i ate really horrible stuff ... ? I think i believed so ... scary . So much more ... but not really kinda in the mood to talk about it today . Not feeling well ...
Know why ? Thanks to Matthew and Sherwin .
Met them after that ... ate Seoul Garden . Didnt really like that place . Its that place that actually caused many undesired troubles ... Matthew and Sherwin were playing with their food . Matthew said he hate to waste food , now ive seen it for myself , i really believed him . Sherwin just played along . I got kinda pissed because i couldnt eat properly ... Had a really bad stomachache on the bus home . No choice , i swear that i'll never eat Seoul Garden again !
Listening to the song Stan sent me . By Urna Chahartugchi . Its the song that was featured in the Sony Cam advertisement . Its really nice ... soothing ? Everybody loves it . I fell in love after the second time i heard it on TV . Everytime i hear that , i'll rush out just to listen to that short extract from the original piece . Now i have the original one , i can listen to it anytime i want ! Just like now ...
Stan showed me some pictures he took yesterday at Conrad . It was about his trip to Japan . Once , he was lost there , then there came this Japanese couple , they were really sweet ... they asked if he needed help . How sweet right ? Its impossible to find anyone like that in Singapore . Sometimes , maybe its the genes that we possess after dwelling too long in this Singaporean lifestyle . The ' Singlish ' , the behaviours and so on ... really sucks . Japanese are different , they are civilised and really well-mannered . They are very kind and they're very gentle . Reminds me of how i criticesed the Japanese in front of Mr. Softee , Sean . He likes Japanese and Korean stuffs alot , so i had to just purposely curse and spite them just to piss him off back in those secondary years ...
This world is so personified in so many ways . Sometimes a character can just vary in time . For me , ive been to fickle minded ... ? I change all the time . Its the reason why that makes me harder to accept . Its harder to change the mindset of how i am . Im changing all the time .
People are begging me to change my template . Though i know it sucks , but i like it . Because , its simple ! I hate to make things so complicated . If i have to , then i'll have to change so many things . Too lazy ... I just wanna have a place online to put my ideas , to inject all my thoughts into it . I dun wanna keep a diary . Like a chronicle ... I once kept one . I got too fragmented to continue writing ... i left it in a corner . Then , some idiot came along and he just simply read it . Please , its a diary , its meant to be personal . So i think maybe personal things should just be safe kept in the heart . Only one may have the key to open that treasure within . Blogger is just where i put something less personal . So just enjoy ... Its not about the templates and the cool cool stuff u know ? Its just a blog to me .
Its the lifestlyes and the way we're brought up that affects how we conduct ourselves . If honestly , would u take the initiative to do things instead of waiting for others to take the first step ? Very few would . That makes a Singaporean in us all . Simply typical .
Know why ? Thanks to Matthew and Sherwin .
Met them after that ... ate Seoul Garden . Didnt really like that place . Its that place that actually caused many undesired troubles ... Matthew and Sherwin were playing with their food . Matthew said he hate to waste food , now ive seen it for myself , i really believed him . Sherwin just played along . I got kinda pissed because i couldnt eat properly ... Had a really bad stomachache on the bus home . No choice , i swear that i'll never eat Seoul Garden again !
Listening to the song Stan sent me . By Urna Chahartugchi . Its the song that was featured in the Sony Cam advertisement . Its really nice ... soothing ? Everybody loves it . I fell in love after the second time i heard it on TV . Everytime i hear that , i'll rush out just to listen to that short extract from the original piece . Now i have the original one , i can listen to it anytime i want ! Just like now ...
Stan showed me some pictures he took yesterday at Conrad . It was about his trip to Japan . Once , he was lost there , then there came this Japanese couple , they were really sweet ... they asked if he needed help . How sweet right ? Its impossible to find anyone like that in Singapore . Sometimes , maybe its the genes that we possess after dwelling too long in this Singaporean lifestyle . The ' Singlish ' , the behaviours and so on ... really sucks . Japanese are different , they are civilised and really well-mannered . They are very kind and they're very gentle . Reminds me of how i criticesed the Japanese in front of Mr. Softee , Sean . He likes Japanese and Korean stuffs alot , so i had to just purposely curse and spite them just to piss him off back in those secondary years ...
This world is so personified in so many ways . Sometimes a character can just vary in time . For me , ive been to fickle minded ... ? I change all the time . Its the reason why that makes me harder to accept . Its harder to change the mindset of how i am . Im changing all the time .
People are begging me to change my template . Though i know it sucks , but i like it . Because , its simple ! I hate to make things so complicated . If i have to , then i'll have to change so many things . Too lazy ... I just wanna have a place online to put my ideas , to inject all my thoughts into it . I dun wanna keep a diary . Like a chronicle ... I once kept one . I got too fragmented to continue writing ... i left it in a corner . Then , some idiot came along and he just simply read it . Please , its a diary , its meant to be personal . So i think maybe personal things should just be safe kept in the heart . Only one may have the key to open that treasure within . Blogger is just where i put something less personal . So just enjoy ... Its not about the templates and the cool cool stuff u know ? Its just a blog to me .
Its the lifestlyes and the way we're brought up that affects how we conduct ourselves . If honestly , would u take the initiative to do things instead of waiting for others to take the first step ? Very few would . That makes a Singaporean in us all . Simply typical .
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Masks
Woke up later than yesterday . But i wasnt late . Just in time ... ? Today's schedule was totally the same as yesterday's , but with less salons to run about .
I brought Stan to Plaza Sing . We're supposed to watch Constantine with Sylvester and his sis , Cassandra . However ... the tics got sold out , and they didnt bought mine . So , Stan and i had to walk about ourselves . We went to buy lots of junky food from Carrefour . We ended up making our own meal . Stan's really funny ... he's like YouGuo , good with food ... ? He helped me make a better looking and tasting meal then what i bought ... funny ... We were really bored and listless . Didnt know what to do either ... so Stan went outside for a smoke . I sat beside him drinking my Snapple . I accidentally dropped the wrapping , its round for the cover . Then , the wrapper started rolling ... dunno why , really rolled ... it rolled really really far . Stan and i was watching it and was kinda shocked ... damn funny ...
Went back Conrad earlier . Stan went to walk , i stayed at lobby ... The pianist then came , she was kinda shocked why i was there so early . We talked a while , then she started to play . Again , i almost fell asleep , so i had to go walk too . I walked over to Suntec City , only to find myself walking back after using the toilet . Stan bought a calligraphy chop . It cost over a $100 ! Scary , i got mine like so much cheaper during my trip in China . Cant really remember where i kept it ...
Performance was as usual ... this time it was funny in Golden Peony . Some children came to take picture with me ... so funny . People even wanted to pick songs , no choice , i have to play it . Luckily i have a brain ... thank Mom for giving me that .
How can i forget ... i really wanna thank this lady , Melinda ... i think ... She made our stay at Conrad really comfortable and warm . She's really friendly and really too welcoming . She treated us drinks and brought it to us in the lobby , we felt so special . She's always smiling and greeting us . She's the best ive seen there . Other than that ugly bitch ... i'll remember what she said ... " tell them their late ! " We're standing in front of her and she had to even tell her others to tell us we're late ! Stupid bitch . Kinda sad that we dun have to go there anymore . People there were really friendly , really had so much fun . It was definitely tiring , but no doubt its kinda worth it . The staffs there were friendly and all were interested in our music . Kinda felt appreciated . Lucky Stan , so many business ... people were asking where we're from . We're free lance musicians .
I brought Stan to Plaza Sing . We're supposed to watch Constantine with Sylvester and his sis , Cassandra . However ... the tics got sold out , and they didnt bought mine . So , Stan and i had to walk about ourselves . We went to buy lots of junky food from Carrefour . We ended up making our own meal . Stan's really funny ... he's like YouGuo , good with food ... ? He helped me make a better looking and tasting meal then what i bought ... funny ... We were really bored and listless . Didnt know what to do either ... so Stan went outside for a smoke . I sat beside him drinking my Snapple . I accidentally dropped the wrapping , its round for the cover . Then , the wrapper started rolling ... dunno why , really rolled ... it rolled really really far . Stan and i was watching it and was kinda shocked ... damn funny ...
Went back Conrad earlier . Stan went to walk , i stayed at lobby ... The pianist then came , she was kinda shocked why i was there so early . We talked a while , then she started to play . Again , i almost fell asleep , so i had to go walk too . I walked over to Suntec City , only to find myself walking back after using the toilet . Stan bought a calligraphy chop . It cost over a $100 ! Scary , i got mine like so much cheaper during my trip in China . Cant really remember where i kept it ...
Performance was as usual ... this time it was funny in Golden Peony . Some children came to take picture with me ... so funny . People even wanted to pick songs , no choice , i have to play it . Luckily i have a brain ... thank Mom for giving me that .
How can i forget ... i really wanna thank this lady , Melinda ... i think ... She made our stay at Conrad really comfortable and warm . She's really friendly and really too welcoming . She treated us drinks and brought it to us in the lobby , we felt so special . She's always smiling and greeting us . She's the best ive seen there . Other than that ugly bitch ... i'll remember what she said ... " tell them their late ! " We're standing in front of her and she had to even tell her others to tell us we're late ! Stupid bitch . Kinda sad that we dun have to go there anymore . People there were really friendly , really had so much fun . It was definitely tiring , but no doubt its kinda worth it . The staffs there were friendly and all were interested in our music . Kinda felt appreciated . Lucky Stan , so many business ... people were asking where we're from . We're free lance musicians .
Saw Zheng JIngWen at Conrad ... really wierd ! He was wearing sleeveless ... kinda casual ... then we stopped and chatted for a while . He was going to meet some friends and stuff ... Uncle came to fetch me . That one , the one with the really bad sense of direction . Guess what ... he fetched me home from school for over 8 years , and yet he have to ask me for directions everytime . Really kinda worried whether he'll get lost . Indeed , he was . He very weird one ... cant stand him sometimes . But , hes one of the best uncles i have , which one ? Theres too many ... My Mom's best friend , my uncle .
Really funny ... i was counting my HongBao's for today ... then i noticed in the end , i threw the money into the bin and kept the packets in my safe box ... so dot .
A mask , in art , its shown or portrayed in a sense as a lie , a fake . Its character shows no other than a mask , a face with a hiden truth within . People might wear a mask , a lie and a fake smile , behind might be an evil grin .
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
The Pianist
Woke up really early today . Performance starts at 12 , had to be there at 11:30am . I thought that it'll start at 11:30 , so i reached at 10:30 ... only to find myself rotting away at the lobby .
Stan and i performed as usual . We first performed at the lobby , then , we split . He performed at Oscar's and i perform at Golden Peony . I hate it there , all the typical singaporean families were there having their Chinese cuisine . Really boring . I played nonsense , i mixed songs up and come up with new songs . I was playing with my brain and i was thinking with my finger . Worse still ... i saw Jonathan there ! He came with his family , he was wearing one blue Chinese costume . Guess he's in ACJC now ... have fun !
I have a break from 1 to 6pm . What a huge gap in between the performance time . I had no choice , Stan went to his friend's office , i took a bus to Orchard . I was hoping that Cyberdome would be open , and maybe i can see someone i know there . It was close ... i went to Merindian then ... Played at VS . Battlenet ... After which , i had lunch at this Thai stall . I ate TomYam Chicken Noodle . Not bad ... not spicy at all , its just that i wore a jacket , thats why i was sweating like a pig .
Time flew quickly . I went back to Conrad after eating . It was still early ... so i had to wait . I sat at the lobby and listened to the sound of the piano . The pianist was a lady . No more ordinary than any of us . She's skinny but yet elegant . She sat gracefully and her fingers were swift and soft upon the keys . Nimble and yet firm with strength of the right amount . She knows how to balance her music , her softness and her heavier chords were all displayed in a different variety of styles . Her music was played with her soul . I could sense her rhythm ... She definitely do have a wide repertoire . I really need to widen mine . People were walking pass , stopping for a moment to enjoy that minute of beauty and then carried on with their work . She carry a smile always , not only lightening the mood of the Hotel , but also bringing that bit of warmness to the tourists . Her music was in different forms . Some were light , some were unforgetable oldies , and some were songs with a little touch of jazz . I considered it all as Lounge Music . It was great . I fell asleep almost instantly , only to find myself awoken by one of the Excutives there . I was really tired ... and there was no reason why i would be tempted into a dream with such beautiful music beside me .
Performance was as usual . People were still giving HongBaos ... though less today . Im too lazy to count my money now ... too many . Just dumped them into a safe box and thats it .
I was really tired . I was supposed to take MRT back with Stan , but i just remembered that there was no money inside . Because now fares are charged at adult price , im broke . I took a bus in the end . It was slow , due a a jam at Esplande . The " ChunDaoHePan " was causing all these problems . Sometimes i just curse the new year . I dun think theres anything to celebrate about . I hate new years . Its ultimately troublesome . Had to clear stuffs , had to wash , had to eat , had to collect money , had to say all kinda idioms and i cant wash my hair ! I fell asleep on the bus till i reached the bus inter-change . I was still sleeping . The bus driver came all the way to my seat to wake me up . Everybody outside was looking into the bus , at me . Embarrassment ... too tired . Its not my first time . There was once , it was worst . I fell asleep and the bus driver didnt know . He drove off and he was heading to the port . The lights were off and the bus was so quiet , then i woke up . He dropped me somewhere ... Sometimes i just wonder , why i'll wake without fail just at the right time . Just , only .
There is no sense of time in dreams , is there ?
Stan and i performed as usual . We first performed at the lobby , then , we split . He performed at Oscar's and i perform at Golden Peony . I hate it there , all the typical singaporean families were there having their Chinese cuisine . Really boring . I played nonsense , i mixed songs up and come up with new songs . I was playing with my brain and i was thinking with my finger . Worse still ... i saw Jonathan there ! He came with his family , he was wearing one blue Chinese costume . Guess he's in ACJC now ... have fun !
I have a break from 1 to 6pm . What a huge gap in between the performance time . I had no choice , Stan went to his friend's office , i took a bus to Orchard . I was hoping that Cyberdome would be open , and maybe i can see someone i know there . It was close ... i went to Merindian then ... Played at VS . Battlenet ... After which , i had lunch at this Thai stall . I ate TomYam Chicken Noodle . Not bad ... not spicy at all , its just that i wore a jacket , thats why i was sweating like a pig .
Time flew quickly . I went back to Conrad after eating . It was still early ... so i had to wait . I sat at the lobby and listened to the sound of the piano . The pianist was a lady . No more ordinary than any of us . She's skinny but yet elegant . She sat gracefully and her fingers were swift and soft upon the keys . Nimble and yet firm with strength of the right amount . She knows how to balance her music , her softness and her heavier chords were all displayed in a different variety of styles . Her music was played with her soul . I could sense her rhythm ... She definitely do have a wide repertoire . I really need to widen mine . People were walking pass , stopping for a moment to enjoy that minute of beauty and then carried on with their work . She carry a smile always , not only lightening the mood of the Hotel , but also bringing that bit of warmness to the tourists . Her music was in different forms . Some were light , some were unforgetable oldies , and some were songs with a little touch of jazz . I considered it all as Lounge Music . It was great . I fell asleep almost instantly , only to find myself awoken by one of the Excutives there . I was really tired ... and there was no reason why i would be tempted into a dream with such beautiful music beside me .
Performance was as usual . People were still giving HongBaos ... though less today . Im too lazy to count my money now ... too many . Just dumped them into a safe box and thats it .
I was really tired . I was supposed to take MRT back with Stan , but i just remembered that there was no money inside . Because now fares are charged at adult price , im broke . I took a bus in the end . It was slow , due a a jam at Esplande . The " ChunDaoHePan " was causing all these problems . Sometimes i just curse the new year . I dun think theres anything to celebrate about . I hate new years . Its ultimately troublesome . Had to clear stuffs , had to wash , had to eat , had to collect money , had to say all kinda idioms and i cant wash my hair ! I fell asleep on the bus till i reached the bus inter-change . I was still sleeping . The bus driver came all the way to my seat to wake me up . Everybody outside was looking into the bus , at me . Embarrassment ... too tired . Its not my first time . There was once , it was worst . I fell asleep and the bus driver didnt know . He drove off and he was heading to the port . The lights were off and the bus was so quiet , then i woke up . He dropped me somewhere ... Sometimes i just wonder , why i'll wake without fail just at the right time . Just , only .
There is no sense of time in dreams , is there ?
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
The Eye From The Other Side
Today's NewYear's eve ... i got two performances ... and a reunion lunch . We ate at 3pm because i had to rush off to Conrad Hotel for performance at 6 .
So many things happened ... so many different thoughts .
Woke up early today . I had to perform at YiShun Secondary . I wasnt late , just in time . The whole school was in a craze . Its totally different from ACS . They sang new year songs , ACS dread to even sing . I was in a different surrounding . A dream school ... ? Not really ... but i would say i liked the ' lifestyle ' there . Everybody talked to me , asked if i was nervous and wished me luck . Their performances was not the best , the quality isnt that high , but its genuine sincerity that counts . Their performances were encouraged by wild roars of applause and cheers from the students . So encouraging ... unlike ACS , jeering and silence , or unison clapping . Really irritating to even wanna perform in ACS . YiShun was so much better , maybe thats what i call .. ' neighbourhood ' ? Its a term i made , to describe the antonyms of ACS . It was soon then my turn ... My performance was with this Chinese teacher , he's doing calligrahy . He should be from China , could hear his accent . The audience watched in awe as i played . I wasnt their fellow schoolmate , im just a guest . After performing then i realise something . Its the bond and its the unity they possessed ... I didnt feel a sense of belonging . They encourage their friends , its their fellow schoolmates their cheering for . The performers dun treat this as just a performance , but its more of a dedication . They perform , not for the sake of just performing , they perform from their hearts , its where the sincerity dwells . I was stunned ... it got me ...
Had reunion lunch after the performance . I helped Mom in the kitchen . I helped quite alot ... isnt it ? I helped to wash bowls and stuffs ... the abalone was just beyond my reach ... so u get the idea dun u ? I ate as i helped , so its a quit isnt it ? I ate so much ... totally filling ... totally .
Reached Conrad really early . Supposed to meet Stan at 6 , but he was delayed . We werent really well informed about the timings and the venues ... There was one super bitchy lady , hate her ... nevermind about her . Stan was so pro ,. how pro can a pro be ? Just totally pro . He's really good with improvision . He can play anything and almost everything . I didnt wear my nails . I was so soft compared to that YangQin . We ran all over the hotel ... so tiring . Jaded ... ? Its tiresome with a little bit of fun ? Or interest ... ? Stan was great . He's nice and he's really good . I was so inferior ... I broke a big big vase at Conrad ... they had to make a report ... hope they wont wanna make me pay ... please please ...
I was so dead tired ... i took a quick bath , because i cannot wash my hair after midnight .
Eyebags are so heavy now ... Thanks Stan anyway for today . It was fun and great . See u tomorrow ... i have to solo ! Stress ... ? Not forgetting to mention , we have extra HongBaos ! Mine was quite alot ... had one from YiShun Secondary too !
People's thinking are different from ours , sometimes we cannot expect them to treat us differently , as in their concepts , our status doesnt exist . They do not know about our circle and how things go about . So , dun expect different treatments sometimes . Its nothing , it doesnt exist ...
So many things happened ... so many different thoughts .
Woke up early today . I had to perform at YiShun Secondary . I wasnt late , just in time . The whole school was in a craze . Its totally different from ACS . They sang new year songs , ACS dread to even sing . I was in a different surrounding . A dream school ... ? Not really ... but i would say i liked the ' lifestyle ' there . Everybody talked to me , asked if i was nervous and wished me luck . Their performances was not the best , the quality isnt that high , but its genuine sincerity that counts . Their performances were encouraged by wild roars of applause and cheers from the students . So encouraging ... unlike ACS , jeering and silence , or unison clapping . Really irritating to even wanna perform in ACS . YiShun was so much better , maybe thats what i call .. ' neighbourhood ' ? Its a term i made , to describe the antonyms of ACS . It was soon then my turn ... My performance was with this Chinese teacher , he's doing calligrahy . He should be from China , could hear his accent . The audience watched in awe as i played . I wasnt their fellow schoolmate , im just a guest . After performing then i realise something . Its the bond and its the unity they possessed ... I didnt feel a sense of belonging . They encourage their friends , its their fellow schoolmates their cheering for . The performers dun treat this as just a performance , but its more of a dedication . They perform , not for the sake of just performing , they perform from their hearts , its where the sincerity dwells . I was stunned ... it got me ...
Had reunion lunch after the performance . I helped Mom in the kitchen . I helped quite alot ... isnt it ? I helped to wash bowls and stuffs ... the abalone was just beyond my reach ... so u get the idea dun u ? I ate as i helped , so its a quit isnt it ? I ate so much ... totally filling ... totally .
Reached Conrad really early . Supposed to meet Stan at 6 , but he was delayed . We werent really well informed about the timings and the venues ... There was one super bitchy lady , hate her ... nevermind about her . Stan was so pro ,. how pro can a pro be ? Just totally pro . He's really good with improvision . He can play anything and almost everything . I didnt wear my nails . I was so soft compared to that YangQin . We ran all over the hotel ... so tiring . Jaded ... ? Its tiresome with a little bit of fun ? Or interest ... ? Stan was great . He's nice and he's really good . I was so inferior ... I broke a big big vase at Conrad ... they had to make a report ... hope they wont wanna make me pay ... please please ...
I was so dead tired ... i took a quick bath , because i cannot wash my hair after midnight .
Eyebags are so heavy now ... Thanks Stan anyway for today . It was fun and great . See u tomorrow ... i have to solo ! Stress ... ? Not forgetting to mention , we have extra HongBaos ! Mine was quite alot ... had one from YiShun Secondary too !
People's thinking are different from ours , sometimes we cannot expect them to treat us differently , as in their concepts , our status doesnt exist . They do not know about our circle and how things go about . So , dun expect different treatments sometimes . Its nothing , it doesnt exist ...
Monday, February 07, 2005
Education , A Life Long Process
Somehow felt that somethings missing ... Did i miss out on anything ?
Sylvester told me to take breakfast with him . I treated him once . But today just couldnt do it ... because i'd to meet Matthew and Sherwin at 12:30 pm at Plaza Sing . I treated them to lunch . We talked quite alot ... Sherwin bought some naughty stuff ... dirty Sherwin . The manager , or the guy who took our orders was damn bloody ... good ! He was funny and he did somehow made us felt the hospitality . Nice guy .
After eating ... we headed for Cyberdome to play with Ben Chan , Elliot and Jon Chua . Birdie came later ...
Before we went for lunch and Plaza Sing ... i met up with Sherwin at YioChuKang MRT control office . I met so many people there . There was the ex-DoubleBass player in SYCO . We talked ... he's another nice guy too . Then i saw Ben Chan ... didnt really cared . We kinda ignored each other . Didnt like him much ... But then , there was Augustus too . He and his friend , both are heading to orchard for work . They are promoters ... funny ... Then we talked quite alot on the MRT when Sherwin finally arrives . Honestly , Augustus is my Pipa ' junior ' . Though the same age , he joined later . I was kinda tough on him ... But he quit . Funny guy ... funny .
Dinner was at AngMoKio Central . We took the MRT with Jon . They went to a pirated CD game shop . Thats also where Sherwin bought his naughty stuff . There was so many ... my eyes were constantly looking around . Matthew treated me and Sherwin dinner at Pizza Hut . It wasnt that bad ... just not really filling . It'd cost him a bomb i think ... Matthew then went to 25 hours , that watch shop . He wanted to buy one for his Mom for her birthday ... Reminded me of what i bought my Mom last time . I bought Mom many jewelleries ... because ... flower bouquets are too boring . Valentine's Day is coming ... thinking of what to buy ...
We chatted for a very long time after eating ... We talked about the same old things we mention everytime . Talked about the same old things that we knew , just going into deeper details . We talked about old same topics and always ending up criticising others . Tim Quek ... the idiot , obviously . Everyone hates him ... he really deserves it sometimes . Though sometimes i might pity him ... Sympathy .. .? Empathy ... ? But , he really deserves such treatment . i must say that PangSoon is ten times better ... poor Jon Pang ... he shouldnt deserve that kinda treatment in Sec 1 . Tim , u deserve it . Jon Pang , im sorry . But Jon did better in the better classes ... Honestly , i was just watching ... im not involved in anything in school ... Other than the ' drawing of everybody ' incident . Joshua Ang's fault too . We ganged up ... LiRong was actually involve too ... but we were the main culprits . We drew everyone in class and teachers too ... making fun of them . Stupid Leonard ' Bao ' went to sabotage . Tang caught us ... but we ended up fine . Mere punishment ... Think im really let loose in the school . Every teacher treats me with ' respect ' and kindness . They think im a ' good boy ' , which is damn true , because i dun cause them any trouble . Nachi was the best , followed by Gan then maybe Chan ...
Let me talk a little about life in school ...
Nachi was the best teacher i ever had . She was my form teacher during my last year of school . She told me to take care of my body and not to fall sick so often , but the fact was that i skipped school . She never asked me for my MC . She allows me to sleep in class while everybody is having their morning assembly and devotion . She doesnt really scold me for sleeping in class . Is she good or what ? Or she doesnt care ... ? No , she does . She recieved an award by the president not long ago ... She's one devoted teacher . She cares for everyone and everything .
There's Gan . He was the ' poorest ' creature in school . Not as in wealth ... but as in status wise . Nobody listens to him . They can even scold him back . Students make use of him ... He's no doubt the best Chemistry teacher in school ... But too bad , he wasnt fierce enough . He really knows how to close one eye ... Now , he's gone to HouGang Secondary with Shirley Goh ... hope its better there for both of them . ACS is living hell .
The discipline master , Chan . He's very funny . Hes righteous too . He knows when to scold and when not to . Hes really nice and understanding . I would rate him the best discipline masters ive ever seen , which is only a few ... Whenever my hair is long , i can negotiate with him when i'll get it cut . The whole class really enjoyed E Math with him around . He really do know how to teach . But , the problem is , he's always too busy with dsicipline affairs that he doesnt come to class often . No matter how good one teacher can be , it'll depend on the student's own learning abilities and willingness . For me , Chan is still the best Math teacher , but math will never be my forte , so i continue to fail , without fail . No Doubt !
Tomorrow is gonna be one big confusion . I have a performance in YiShun Secondary and one later at 6pm ... gonna meet Stanley at Conrad Hotel . Stanley is YouGuo's classmate ... ? He's pro in his YangQin . We know each other , but never once talked .
Gotto sleep really early tonight i think ... maybe 12 midnight .
When results are bad , teachers get blamed on . When results are good , nobody thank the teachers . Once a teacher , forever a father , translated from a chinese proverb .
Sylvester told me to take breakfast with him . I treated him once . But today just couldnt do it ... because i'd to meet Matthew and Sherwin at 12:30 pm at Plaza Sing . I treated them to lunch . We talked quite alot ... Sherwin bought some naughty stuff ... dirty Sherwin . The manager , or the guy who took our orders was damn bloody ... good ! He was funny and he did somehow made us felt the hospitality . Nice guy .
After eating ... we headed for Cyberdome to play with Ben Chan , Elliot and Jon Chua . Birdie came later ...
Before we went for lunch and Plaza Sing ... i met up with Sherwin at YioChuKang MRT control office . I met so many people there . There was the ex-DoubleBass player in SYCO . We talked ... he's another nice guy too . Then i saw Ben Chan ... didnt really cared . We kinda ignored each other . Didnt like him much ... But then , there was Augustus too . He and his friend , both are heading to orchard for work . They are promoters ... funny ... Then we talked quite alot on the MRT when Sherwin finally arrives . Honestly , Augustus is my Pipa ' junior ' . Though the same age , he joined later . I was kinda tough on him ... But he quit . Funny guy ... funny .
Dinner was at AngMoKio Central . We took the MRT with Jon . They went to a pirated CD game shop . Thats also where Sherwin bought his naughty stuff . There was so many ... my eyes were constantly looking around . Matthew treated me and Sherwin dinner at Pizza Hut . It wasnt that bad ... just not really filling . It'd cost him a bomb i think ... Matthew then went to 25 hours , that watch shop . He wanted to buy one for his Mom for her birthday ... Reminded me of what i bought my Mom last time . I bought Mom many jewelleries ... because ... flower bouquets are too boring . Valentine's Day is coming ... thinking of what to buy ...
We chatted for a very long time after eating ... We talked about the same old things we mention everytime . Talked about the same old things that we knew , just going into deeper details . We talked about old same topics and always ending up criticising others . Tim Quek ... the idiot , obviously . Everyone hates him ... he really deserves it sometimes . Though sometimes i might pity him ... Sympathy .. .? Empathy ... ? But , he really deserves such treatment . i must say that PangSoon is ten times better ... poor Jon Pang ... he shouldnt deserve that kinda treatment in Sec 1 . Tim , u deserve it . Jon Pang , im sorry . But Jon did better in the better classes ... Honestly , i was just watching ... im not involved in anything in school ... Other than the ' drawing of everybody ' incident . Joshua Ang's fault too . We ganged up ... LiRong was actually involve too ... but we were the main culprits . We drew everyone in class and teachers too ... making fun of them . Stupid Leonard ' Bao ' went to sabotage . Tang caught us ... but we ended up fine . Mere punishment ... Think im really let loose in the school . Every teacher treats me with ' respect ' and kindness . They think im a ' good boy ' , which is damn true , because i dun cause them any trouble . Nachi was the best , followed by Gan then maybe Chan ...
Let me talk a little about life in school ...
Nachi was the best teacher i ever had . She was my form teacher during my last year of school . She told me to take care of my body and not to fall sick so often , but the fact was that i skipped school . She never asked me for my MC . She allows me to sleep in class while everybody is having their morning assembly and devotion . She doesnt really scold me for sleeping in class . Is she good or what ? Or she doesnt care ... ? No , she does . She recieved an award by the president not long ago ... She's one devoted teacher . She cares for everyone and everything .
There's Gan . He was the ' poorest ' creature in school . Not as in wealth ... but as in status wise . Nobody listens to him . They can even scold him back . Students make use of him ... He's no doubt the best Chemistry teacher in school ... But too bad , he wasnt fierce enough . He really knows how to close one eye ... Now , he's gone to HouGang Secondary with Shirley Goh ... hope its better there for both of them . ACS is living hell .
The discipline master , Chan . He's very funny . Hes righteous too . He knows when to scold and when not to . Hes really nice and understanding . I would rate him the best discipline masters ive ever seen , which is only a few ... Whenever my hair is long , i can negotiate with him when i'll get it cut . The whole class really enjoyed E Math with him around . He really do know how to teach . But , the problem is , he's always too busy with dsicipline affairs that he doesnt come to class often . No matter how good one teacher can be , it'll depend on the student's own learning abilities and willingness . For me , Chan is still the best Math teacher , but math will never be my forte , so i continue to fail , without fail . No Doubt !
Tomorrow is gonna be one big confusion . I have a performance in YiShun Secondary and one later at 6pm ... gonna meet Stanley at Conrad Hotel . Stanley is YouGuo's classmate ... ? He's pro in his YangQin . We know each other , but never once talked .
Gotto sleep really early tonight i think ... maybe 12 midnight .
When results are bad , teachers get blamed on . When results are good , nobody thank the teachers . Once a teacher , forever a father , translated from a chinese proverb .
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Chronic
Ive so much comments to give . But , i think its best that i keep it to myself . Hope not sour any further ... However , whenever i keep things to myself . Many tend to get it the wrong way ... Ive no choice but to leak it out willingly somehow ... I dun force things , they force me . I just feel a thug in my heart , like something pressuring it ... making it heavy and somehow compressed . Depression ... ? Again ? I dun think it is ... im better now , now , that is ...
Had to go back CSCO today , just to get my money ... Now i got it , i wanna leave . Not as in leaving CSCO ... but somehow take a break ... Im not like others ... some just use the name of CSCO as a dignity of their own's . The name as a label , as a brand . It gives them identity somehow in this CO circle . Prestigious ... ? Well , Zheng has been very nice ... and he had made many plans . We talked to one another ... and we exchange views and ideas ... he gives his comments and i dun refrain from doing so too ... but somehow ... he's ' stronger ' . He really do know how to play this game well . Im losing ... im somehow held back . Im sceptic about almost anything or everything . But my excuses are deemed fit ... ? Void . Not valid . So do i have an option ? An alternative ? Zheng instilled this kinda confidence in me . Well , i liked his ideas . I really hope i can be part of his plans . But i just wish that it wont turn out somehow like its not under my control of anything anymore . He's an ambitious man . Not just verbally said , he walked the walk and talked the talk . He did it just like how he said it to my ears . Im still stuck here ... where should i go next ? What am i supposed to do ?
Raymond , Jasmine , YiLeng , JiaJin , XiuHua , ChaiXia , Sharon , Nicholas and i . We went to eat at S11 today . I ordered sotong , they gave me stingray ... No choice , ive to wait again , though they've already started , and they're half way done .
Thought they'll be going over to my place , but in the end , we went XiuHua's . She wanted to study . Other than studies , books and libraries , where else can she go or do ? Popular bookstore , she'd worked there before . Bookworm ... Too bad i forced her to let us play mahjong . Dunno why ... felt kinda tired ... not in the mood .
Why would we end up there in the first place ? We met Stanley one the way to my place . He was biking around ... So , i thought maybe we could go somewhere else . The AngMoKio Garden . Its not a garden at all ... ive spent my childhood mostly in that forest during my playtime , which is always . Now it'd changed so much . There used to be a playground on top of the hill which MayFlower Primary School is now situated at . Constructions and renovations , they really ruin everything sometimes . Sharon , Jasmine and ChaiXia looked dead . I was still alive . Though im sweating , i still can go a mile . I sweat because of my damn long hair . No choice , i had to put a hairband . But dunno why , im starting to feel more natural wearing it in public ... funny ... weird ... Its normal ! Common scene please ...
I just told my Mom that i was playing mahjong at friend's place . Her reply was brief ... She said , " aiyo ... u dunno how to play one lah , waste time only ... " Please ... if i dunno , then how did i play it just now ? I won at least 3 times ... Sharon lousy .
I walked home from AMK central , after taking dinner with them . I sang as i walked . I realised that my throat is still that bad . I breathe with my throat at night when i sleep , because my nose isnt working properly , since young . So i have very dry throat , it gets parched easily . Sometimes it gets so dry that it'll bleed when i cough ... Im not suited for WoodWind ... no way i can . I cannot reach highnotes though how accurately i can pitch it . Now ... still the same . No change .
Depression , a chronical disease ...
Had to go back CSCO today , just to get my money ... Now i got it , i wanna leave . Not as in leaving CSCO ... but somehow take a break ... Im not like others ... some just use the name of CSCO as a dignity of their own's . The name as a label , as a brand . It gives them identity somehow in this CO circle . Prestigious ... ? Well , Zheng has been very nice ... and he had made many plans . We talked to one another ... and we exchange views and ideas ... he gives his comments and i dun refrain from doing so too ... but somehow ... he's ' stronger ' . He really do know how to play this game well . Im losing ... im somehow held back . Im sceptic about almost anything or everything . But my excuses are deemed fit ... ? Void . Not valid . So do i have an option ? An alternative ? Zheng instilled this kinda confidence in me . Well , i liked his ideas . I really hope i can be part of his plans . But i just wish that it wont turn out somehow like its not under my control of anything anymore . He's an ambitious man . Not just verbally said , he walked the walk and talked the talk . He did it just like how he said it to my ears . Im still stuck here ... where should i go next ? What am i supposed to do ?
Raymond , Jasmine , YiLeng , JiaJin , XiuHua , ChaiXia , Sharon , Nicholas and i . We went to eat at S11 today . I ordered sotong , they gave me stingray ... No choice , ive to wait again , though they've already started , and they're half way done .
Thought they'll be going over to my place , but in the end , we went XiuHua's . She wanted to study . Other than studies , books and libraries , where else can she go or do ? Popular bookstore , she'd worked there before . Bookworm ... Too bad i forced her to let us play mahjong . Dunno why ... felt kinda tired ... not in the mood .
Why would we end up there in the first place ? We met Stanley one the way to my place . He was biking around ... So , i thought maybe we could go somewhere else . The AngMoKio Garden . Its not a garden at all ... ive spent my childhood mostly in that forest during my playtime , which is always . Now it'd changed so much . There used to be a playground on top of the hill which MayFlower Primary School is now situated at . Constructions and renovations , they really ruin everything sometimes . Sharon , Jasmine and ChaiXia looked dead . I was still alive . Though im sweating , i still can go a mile . I sweat because of my damn long hair . No choice , i had to put a hairband . But dunno why , im starting to feel more natural wearing it in public ... funny ... weird ... Its normal ! Common scene please ...
I just told my Mom that i was playing mahjong at friend's place . Her reply was brief ... She said , " aiyo ... u dunno how to play one lah , waste time only ... " Please ... if i dunno , then how did i play it just now ? I won at least 3 times ... Sharon lousy .
I walked home from AMK central , after taking dinner with them . I sang as i walked . I realised that my throat is still that bad . I breathe with my throat at night when i sleep , because my nose isnt working properly , since young . So i have very dry throat , it gets parched easily . Sometimes it gets so dry that it'll bleed when i cough ... Im not suited for WoodWind ... no way i can . I cannot reach highnotes though how accurately i can pitch it . Now ... still the same . No change .
Depression , a chronical disease ...
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