Responsibility As Heavy As Feathers

I just bought TanyaChua's CD, and now im browsing through all the tracks. Well, my taste doesnt change, i still hate Chinese songs. Anyway, im thinking of ripping some songs, so i can send one to Grace, and keep others in my phone.

I better make this fast, because i might leave for Malaysia soon. Well, remember about yesterday's entry? Its settled! Thanks to one person, QingLun. I was driving myself mad, so i seeked help from him. I called him and we talked for almost an hour or 2, till his Mom scolded him... and he hung up after a long chat, because he has to call his girlfriend. Trust me, talking to him is like worse than talking or singing to a cow. He made me laugh and cry at the same time! Its really difficult... and next, we're talking about CDs. Well, only he and i know what it really means. Thanks so much to QingLun, now im feeling so much better. Ur right, and thanks.

I felt so much better this morning, unlike how i used to feel during my capricious tempered days. Last time, i'll get so mad that i'll start doing things that only Saruman would do. Now, im not far from there... but somewhere closer with peace. The comforting words gave me a sense of trust, and at least... a sense of belonging. Im sure at least that ive a shadow behind me.

I wore what i wore yesterday, and well... recieved many comments that i looked like some Safari worker, zoo keeper, tour guide, Hawaiin dude, old uncle or a bus driver. I never knew that such clothings would bring me so much job opportunities. Thanks so much! Well, after aural lesson, i headed to have lunch with QingLun and gang at NAFA's very own canteen. As usual, the food tasted bad. Last time, it was so much better. Anyway, i took the cab to school today. I know, so bad.

Anyway, i felt so much more comfortable going out with them, because i know im not guilty of anything, or being sorry for anything. So, i ate with them, and it turned out to be a test for me. My mood wasnt flunctuating! I felt very at ease! In fact, glad and happy, or elated. Its like ive lost a weight in my heart. I dun have to think or trouble myself anymore. I hope things will go on like that, because im merely more self loving now. Selfish, as u might call it. Things are going my way better this way. I love it!

Its a happy day, and with a happy message from YouGuo to teach at TeckWhye. Well, ive bad experiences there, and when i was there... they looked rather happy to see me. They were relieved that its not some very fierce teacher. They complained to me about a very fierce teacher, and i guessed... it must be Kenny. But its no wonder that he'll have to scold them. Today, i scolded the Ruan girl. She has bad attitude, i almost wanted to slap her. But well, i beat her down with words. Tons of words that weigh heavier than morals can sustain. Her face turned as black as squid ink. Well, i told her to bring back her instrument to practice at home. They told me that they practiced, and i scolded them off and told them that if they've practiced, and with such results, they must be either utterly useless or really hopeless. They kept quiet. Then, as for the Ruan girl, she said that she'll never bring it back. I asked her why. She said that its too heavy, and its embarrassing to carry something like that on the bus. I asked her why would she even join the CO then. She said that its her parents' idea. So, i told her that her parents' idea is embarrassing, and they are a disgrace to her. She kept quiet. Whats next? There was an awkward silence, as everybody stared at me, while i stared into her. She was too embarrassed to face me, she looked out the window. I knew then that i must have carried it too far. But for students like that, im only doing it right to hurt them before they're pride and attitude changes for the worst. After keeping the silence, i broke it with one last advice. I told her to think about what i said.

I was so furious, i didnt wanna teach anymore. I packed up and gave some fingerings to the DaRuan players. As for the Pipa players, i think they had fun with me more. I left at 4 and took a cab back down to school.

Before that, i took the MRT from Bugis to Sembawang, hoping that it'll be cheaper to travel down from there by cab. Who knows? It cost me $11. Then, from there straight to school, its also $11! What the hell? I wasted 45 minutes travelling in the MRT to Sembawang. My goodness! Stupid me!

Anyway, i attended sightsinging, and i sat with SiHan and Christoven. LianWei didnt come for class, and after the platform performance, i asked Fhairil to sign off for me as my partner for my music technology homework. Its so funny, i explained everything to him, because i have to do so... its written in the worksheet. Sharon and gang were laughing, because they think its stupid. Well, i think so too! Anyway, DrGoh went through the same old modal melodies from the book. I sang them like at least a couple of times already! Some were so familiar that i can sing from memory, especially those in Dorian mode.

After class, we headed for dinner downstairs. Then, soya, with WeiXiang too. YongRui didnt look quite happy, and so... SiHan went to look for him, and they played LAN. WeiXiang headed somewhere else, while Christoven and i walked down Orchard. Again! Well, ive been walking down there very often, and its quite lethargic, it drains my energy. I carried his bag and his Viola, while he carried my bag for me. He was complaining about his backache. He said that theres this pain that dwells near the tail area, but not the tail... slightly lower. I told him that it might be the butt, maybe he needs to shit. So funny.

Anyway, we stopped over at TheHeerens, and thats where we spent an hour or so in HMV. I bought TanyaChua's album, and some other VCDs. We saw so many CDs, and i wanted to buy some, but i reserved them for the CD shop in Shaw... or other shops. HMV has really high rates, and sometimes really low ones for the clearance.

I was so thirsty, we headed to BK to get a drink. After that, we headed home. In the bus, Mom called and asked me to go Malaysia. Now im at home, ripping music as well as waiting for her call.

Trumpets sounded, wine ran from fountains, bishops delivered homilies, magistrates presented the keys to their cities, triumphal arches sprang up along the way. For? For the celebration of my new day! Im really happy and in a good mood today. I really cant believe how i can bring myself to such a mood, and i must say that its all thanks to QingLun. Fucking thanks!

Well, he spent a very long time to talk me into his ideas. I think it must be very hard for him to console an angry bull, and to hold it by the horns. I was like a mule, struggling to slap my reasonings into his face. Im not sure whether he understands it still. But well, he wanted to do things that slowly... i rejected. I think maybe i should just keep my own stand, and never be used again by such pathetic creature, i meant Jonathan. I didnt say who! I didnt! Well, no need for war. Save the future questionings and awkwardness. Its not what u guys think anyway! I heard things... and well, its not! Not, no, not, no and not! Simply just hatred now. But why must people do things with their wrath? Just let it subside. Chill, its not worth the attention. Anyway, the rain will pour eventually to...

Andy just asked me to play Pipa for his recital, and he needed a Ruan player. Actually, its supposingly me, while Nicholas plays the Pipa. Well, i recommended MinHui. Well, she's better in terms of... everything! Anyway, its a final recital, i dun wish somebody to spoil other's recital. U know, responsibility is something too heavy for kids nowadays. Dun wonder who im talking about. U know.

Hedonism

I just got home from a really long bus ride. Im now waiting for Jonathan to call me, so we can talk things out. Well, i talked to QingLun about things, and well... i must admit that im kinda too harsh on him. But on the other hand, im still certain that he should feel sorry for his own mistakes. As for me, im sorry. It'll be a waste to start from scratch, so... lets just leave things as it is. If he calls, then we'll talk, if he doesnt... then nevermind, im not going to bother.

I headed to school. Mom fetched me down today, because i woke her up. Then, when its time for lecture, exactly at 11, there was like nobody in the recital hall. So, i took my time and headed to my big bag to grab my books. Meanwhile, i met... who did i saw? Forget it, lecture was fun today. MrYap's mood was extremely good. Though he didnt cut out on his lame jokes, he was fine with calling me so many times. There were a few times i wasnt listening, and i was asking Christoven something... and he called my name. Its so embarrassing, ive to answer something i dunno. So, i just agreed with anything he said... and he was like... dots. I played with Fhairil's magnets, because its so freaking cool. Its like this 2 oval shaped magnets. They look rather... shiny, and its smooth and its... like some silver coloured thingi. Cool! I wanna get one too! Anyway, we went through the book today, totally all from the reference book, there wasnt any powerpoint slides. We read through many things, and we're so shot in the head after he told us our format for exams. It'll consist of 3 different sections. Firstly, the usual 4 part harmony question. Then, we'll be tested with our definitions, such as omnibus progression, eliptical resolution and things like added chords. Finally, for the horror part, we'll be given a 2 page long piece to analyse. It'll be an extract actually, but 2 pages is like... such a killer!

After harmony, i headed to the computer lab for music technology. I felt so dreadful. EricWatson taught us this new programme, which can enable us to handle and manipulate audio files. Its quite cool actually, so i extracted my own songs from my CD and used it. Its CyndiLauper's old songs, and it sounded tribal when i reverse the whole track. Anyway, ive to finish up my homework that i owe him. Who is my partner? I guess it'll be LianWei then.

Im quite frightened about tomorrow, because its so unexpected. Im thinking whether i should skip class... Anyway, i had nobody to eat with me, so i headed to Bugis with QingLun. I had no intention of doing anything till Dedric called me to go teach at Temasek. Well, TMSCO is under the baton of ZhengZhongXian, and ive heard them play before. MrYeo didnt go teach today, and i so i had to ask the address from YouGuo. Dedric told me that they dun allow anybody to wear short pants and slippers. As for the slippers, ive no choice. The pants, i solved it straight away. I headed to shop! I found this brown long pants, and i bought it straight away with some other green shirt that i chose from a selection of brown and green clothings. Anyway, they cost me like $100, so i managed to redeem myself some free red packets! So nice.

I headed outside and flagged for a cab. I didnt bother going to the taxi stand, because its so freaking crowded! Anyway, a cab stopped over and somebody alighted, so... its fated. I took the cab over... and i realised that its so near to Kenny's house! So, thats the school... I called Kenny and he told me that he's dying. He was teaching SiLing at that time, and he told me that the DaRuan has no frets! I was laughing away... while i waited outside the CO room for ZhengZhongXian to come. He was slightly late, and he brought me in and told me that he'll run through the pieces with the orchestra before i teach them for sectionals. Well, they sounded good enough for me. I stood at a corner and listened to the plucked section, and i realised some problems with punctuation, and for the YangQin, they didnt quite come out well at their showy parts. The ZhongRuans were dominating, but not precise enough in cutting strict rhythms. The Pipas were fine, just sounded quite dirty especially with the tremolo parts. The LiuQins sounded just like any LiuQin would sound. The DaRuans were soft, i couldnt quite hear them though i tried squinting my ears. Doesnt work...

They broke off for sectionals, and they started packing the room. Its an art room actually, because there are so many paintings and stuff around. I wore my nails and started tuning the instruments. Im lucky that i dun have to teach YangQin. Blessed! I tuned the ZhongRuans, then the LiuQins, DaRuan and finally... the Pipas. Well, there were familiar faces around and some of them helped out at the TPCO concert. Well, they recognised me i guess. When i entered the room, i heard a commotion within the Ruans. Anyway, Gale was there. I thought she's still in primary school, but then... i refreshed myself and told myself that people do grow! Well, she played really well. I taught the Pipa section with ease. They were all very friendly and they played well. I taught them simple things like phrasing, and did most of the demonstrations on Gale. Well, i hoped that they had fun. The LiuQins were neglected by me as usual, but i did run through important things with them. Next, the DaRuans were having problems, because they are kinda harder to press for the girls. So, i played for them, and they memorised my fingerings. As for me, i was kinda like confused with the DaRuan fingerings. I had to think really hard, and i played so many wrong notes. I was so embarrassed. The ZhongRuans were fine. Then, there were freshies coming in, and the Pipa group was so enthusiastic! They started cheering and encouraging people to learn Pipa. Well, its kinda nice and funny to see them like that. Maybe... its because that i havent experienced anything like that since school days. True, i missed out quite a chunk of crap from ACS, thats why i love the school so much. Im sarcastic, yes. Anyway, i dun feel like moving on to another paragraph, so please bear with it. I went through the pieces together with them as a whole, with me sitting in the middle demonstrating and requesting for higher demands from them. First thing i asked for was sound, then rhythm and next, precision with timing and opening and closing phrases. Though i didnt kinda ask for their names, i think i felt quite comfortable with them, especially the Pipa group and some of the Ruans. So, i went through the piece in an incredibly fast tempo, they couldnt take it and told me that its too fast. We broke into laughter... and i found it quite fast too, so... we slowed down the tempo. But well, in the end, they'll rush into the original tempo that i started out with... and they'll complain that its too fast again. Its so dots. The most important thing is that i had really so much fun with them. Before leaving, they were asking whether i can come again with Kenny. They missed Kenny too! I was laughing and i told them i had fun teaching them, and i'll miss them. I can assume that they had fun too then. I hope to go over again! I told YouGuo that i had fun, and i think he might send me there again... please, hopefully! I prefer having fun, because im only relief teacher, so... i cant push them too hard, or change much of their fingerings or anything. Its not my job, and its rude to change YouGuo's teachings. So, i'll just sit back and go through general basic things which i can polish up on.

After teaching, i headed to drink with ZhengZhongXian and the Cello teacher. Well, im not so sure of his name. He performed with him before, and he plays the ErHu too. He is a guest musician for SCO at times. Im not sure, anyway... i took ZhengZhongXian's car... and we headed to a coffeeshop opposite Kenny's place. We ordered drinks, and he ordered food for us. Well, first... there was vegetable, then tofu... and chicken. I thought thats the end, but who knows... the lady came with another fish! We were like so full. I felt kinda bad, because i didnt pay for anything. But well, its like custom... if i pay, i think they'll feel insulted. Im not sure of what to do, everytime i eat with teachers like them, i just sit behind and pay if i have the chance to. Last time, WuYouYuan was like that too... he paid for our food and drinks. Its so wierd. Anyway, ZhengZhongXian told me about his trip to HongKong with the quartet, which MikeChiang is involved too. Sometimes i can guess what he's trying to tell me with his selection of words. Secrets and hidden feelings in certain sentences sparked out to me. And well, they played for this concert which featured modern pieces. The concert was really cool i bet. And they performed with a group from HongKong, its a quartet like thingi which has a YangQin, Ruan, LiuQin and Cello, or actually... a LaRuan. They are 4 girls, and im not sure about them actually. So, then we talked about TMSCO. I told him the problems with the plucked strings, and he talked about the past on TMSCO and current problems such as teachers... and pupils. Well, i must say that TMSCO has quite a good attitude in general. I love the students there. They're really nice! Love them!

I took bus 13 to Michelle's house there, and transfered to bus 76, which brought me straight to my doorstep. I was sleeping in the bus, and i woke up to find this fine looking white chocolate bar staring at me. I was blushed, and i headed back to sleep. Was it dreamy, or just really a dream? So fine.

Alright, theres nothing else that i wanna talk about. Im still waiting for the call, and i hope that my phone will ring before i sleep. Let fate decide. Goodnight.

I Despise Gadabouts

Im home. Its really surprising to see YiChun at the soya stall just now. Well, i was with SiHan, then i accidentally stepped on somebody's foot. I didnt look close enough, and after some time... he suddenly called out my name, Gildon. I was so stunned, and then... he started smiling... almost like a grin. Then, i asked him about school... and he told me that he's retained in ACJC, because he didnt study hard. So, he's staying for one more year, i think we'll enroll into NS together. Well, anyway... his Mom fetched him there, and we waved goodbye and left.

I woke up earlier, and took the MRT down to Novena. Im lucky that im not late, but im exactly punctual... so i bought this fish thingi for a bite because im really famished. DrGoh didnt seemed to be in a good mood, he shouted at the Sopranos, and the sudden change of expression freaked us out. Its funny in a way. Well, today... we sang quite well, as compared to other days. And EricWatson came down to listen, and he gave a few pointers to what he intended. I cant wait for the rehearsal with the band. I think it'll sound cool.

Had lunch alone. I went to drink soya, and headed back to school to practice. During ensemble, TingTing and i had to play Percussion. Its so freaking stupid, the thingi sounded so fucking horrible. The drums sounded like shit, and the small cymbals sounded so noisy. I didnt care about anything that i played, because i dun wanna play the Percussion! Anthea wanted to, and i hope that MrYeo would allow her, but i dun think he will. So, i went outside to practice on my Pipa when they're playing pieces that dun require me. Anyway, its so embarrassing, i hate to play those things! Firstly, its not my major, and secondly, i cant play! Its freaking wierd... and i think i need a mask on the performance day. Well, HaoSong didnt come to school today, so MrYeo had to arrange another player to play with me and Rit for the gig. I wonder how much we're paid. He wants me to play the Ruan, but i told him that i'll do better with the Pipa instead.

I called Vikki, and i told her to arrange with Trissy. I should have learned some Zheng skills, so that i can do more gigs outside, especially with Trissy's gigs. Anyway, after the ensemble, QingLun dragged me to drink soya with them. I wanted to go there myself, but who knows... the whole ensemble was going too. So, i headed somewhere else... but QingLun insisted that i go along. Well, i dun wanna get anywhere close to Jonathan, because im really disgusted with him. Anyway, im not going to say what happened. But i wanna let u know, Jon, that im not angry. I just cant be bothered anymore. And moreover, u told ChaiXia that u wanna leave CSCO after the concert right? Well, i called to ask u that just now, but i think u shouldnt have spoken in that irritated tone, just talk normally. Im not going to call u again, so... just read from here. When have CSCO caused any problems with u, or when have u caused any problems? If u'll just messaeg ChaiXia when ur not coming, everything would be fine. U think about it urself, its only a message! Nothing else! When did anyone force u to do things in CSCO? Just send a message! What kinda problem is that? Even if ur attendance sucks, just message! I didnt scold u for anything else, because i told u that many times already, thats why im mad. Anyway, im not angry anymore, because i promised the pinkie finger. What im saying is, im fine, and i just cant be bothered, its not anger. Uve joined and left, and now uve joined again... and if ur gonna leave, im sure u can think what kind of impression u'll leave behind. Dun say that im stressing u, im not. Im just advicing u and warning u about certain things that u do. In fact, be more responsible in anything that u do. I dun care whats going on with u and ur outside commitments, but dun talk crap that u cannot commit. U can, if u want. I was messaging with MinHui, and she told me that ur still a boy, and u have to learn things through the hard way... and anyway, its not nice to spoil the fun. Anyway, i told her... its never work for u, its always fun, so it makes no difference when im saying it. Anyway, last night... they went to have steamboat, on our way there, i didnt flare up, but i somehow scolded Jonathan. So, i didnt wanna spoil their steamboat fun, so i left. Hope that everybody had fun! Im sure Jonathan would have, as long as im not there, he'll be fine... anyway, MinHui told me that he's alright too. I dun care whether he's buried or cremated. Jon, im just telling u this one last time that im not angry, and most importantly, its about CSCO. Think smarter sometimes, dun have to be all the time. And one more, ur studying professionally in NAFA, and u have to give the right impression. U play and play and play and play, nobody knows when ur serious. And if u think that its fun or nice to be childish and playful in appearance, let me tell u... i dun think so. Still, if u go on like that, its good for me, and bad for u. I know history is repeating, and most likely ur feeling like 3 years ago. Who cares? If u need to talk about anything, im still here for u to approach. But only when u want to, if u dun, dun worry... i wont approach u, unless i need something urgently or something. Lines drawn clear? Good. Anyway, u know... u still have other things not settled, other than CSCO. Think carefully with what ur doing. Uve always asked for help, but u ignore them. And u complain that people like MinHui and others are better than u, but yet u enjoy wallowing under them. I really dun understand how ur brain works. Now, u got nothing better than them. What can u do to be somehow 'better' than them? I really have no idea. Stop playing, be serious for fuck sake. Take care, dun think so much.

Thats a whole chunk for u guys to digest. Well, theres more to everything! Theres always more. Well, its a discount.

I headed for dinner with Evan and QingLun at Pastamania. Well, Chester wasnt there... sadly. So, i ate alot... and i paid alot too. Well, Evan was nice enough to tolerate my nonsense back in school. She was waiting for me to pack up and move. I was practicing, and i was taking a long time to pack up... because i kept asking her to listen to me play. And later, SiHan came and he hid my shoes. I thought Tommy would help me, but he hid it too! Evan had to push a wheeled chair for me to sit on, so she can push me along to find my shoe. Its so freaking funny!

I brought Evan to the hotel nearby, and we found somewhere to rest. Then, she left for home... and i headed to shop! I went to Shaw again for cheap CDs! Well, i spent a hell lot of time there. The guy was like staring at me... because i took so many CDs to test. I sat there and listened to almost every track. I browsed through all the CDs, and found nothing nice for the French albums. So, i found older CDs like Joe and Cyndi Lauper. They sounded great, and i think i enjoy listened to them more than modern artists such as... i have no idea! Who is considered modern? Anyway, i bought 6 CDs! And they are freaking cheap!

On the bus, i was thinking whether to go home or to school. Then, LianWei and Rit saw me on the bus! They were crossing the road. I alighted and met them. Rit had to go off with Victor, because its his birthday. LianWei headed to practice. As for me, i went to find SiHan. He promised to me to soya, thats why i got to bump into YiChun. I still cant believe it. What are the odds? At soya stall? Anyway, he practiced and i practiced my Pipa too.

I was strumming so hard, the first string snapped. Well, im about to keep the Pipa anyway. Im mentally worn out... and soya was just right. While drinking and walking, i wanted to head towards SimLim, but he took my CDs! He forced me to accompany him till Bugis. So, what choices do i have? Its my precious!

Took bus 851 home, and i was smiling and thinking to myself, i think the Malay lady thought that im nuts. Tomorrow will be a good day, because its a fresh start. I got my mind focused on other things now, i cant be bothered with quite a few. Anyway, they've been asking whats wrong with me, why am i in such a bad mood and stuff. Well, i dunno how to explain, but i told QingLun roughly whats wrong. So, i wanna just practice harder now. I played the piece that i played during the open house, and i wondered how come i played so freaking badly that day. It sounded alright, just kinda rusty because i havent played that in like 2 years. Im so... lousy, i admit.

U are a gadabout.

The Missing Entry

Hear me maunder.

Well, its a good day. Lets just say that im deleting history from my temporary internet folder, and creating more space for other things.

Its the last straw. I swear on my father's dead body, its the last straw.

Short and sweet, dun u love it?

Beware

Woke up quite late, and rushed Mom to fetch me down to NAFA for a stupid performance for the open house. Anyway, we were caught in the traffic, and Mom was busy cursing other drivers, while she herself was making so many mistakes by cutting in and out of lanes almost immediately. Well, its funny to see her scold and talk to herself. I sat there and thought about what to play.

Well, performing now as been quite strange thing. Anyway, its never good to perform without warming up, and moreover, with a harsh attitude. For me, i just alighted and hadnt taken my lunch. So, i quickly put on my nails and had to perform a piece after tuning outside the recital hall. As usual, my performance was like crap, and this time... its the worst ever. Anyway, same goes to the performance class. Everytime, ive to rush down to school after my lesson, and i dun even have time like others to warm up and stuff. Well, u must understand that im different from prodigies like Jonathan or QingLun, so... thats why i hate to perform without preparation, MrYeo. Anyway, i expected my performance to be how it became, so... im kinda fine with it. Trust me, it was super bad. And thanks so much to QingLun's sarcasm, i love it totally.

After the bad performance, i recieved news about Jane. Well, the judges sympathise with her and didnt charge her for HuiEr's case. Thats totally ridiculous and really unfair for HuiEr. Thats why i say that there aint any justice in the world. The judges are blind! Fucking blind! So, Jane has been admitted into some hospital for depression. Come on, this kinda thing is so easy to fake, and i now people who has faked it. It doesnt matter who, but thats not the point! The gist of all these is the fact that she is so fucking evil and cruel but yet pathetic in eyes of third persons. Fuck justice, im done with that. Im so tired... i dun wish to hear her name anymore, but to think of it... how can i move on with my life when HuiEr needs support still. Why isit so unfair?

Well, while waiting for Christoven, i went to level 4, because ive always wondered how it is up there. I sat under the big umbrella and started to tear. I cried silently, because there were some people around. I faced the open sky, and just let those tear run down my cheeks. Well, i also thought about other things... which saddens me. To think of it, im always thinking further than it might be. Im starting to really hate Chinese musicians, somehow... it runs in their blood. There's this element of disgust. I just dunno what to say. Nevermind the politics, im just here to get this over and done with. To think of it, i still have a few gigs to do before im free to settle my mind for my exams and my holiday plan. There are even people offering me to play Ruan instead of the Pipa. Well, no thanks... i told them that i'll play Pipa instead of the Ruan. Anyway, if there is... i'll still play the Ruan for the sake of money. Im really poor...

Christoven came, and im lucky that nobody realised about my eyes. I think maybe it looked quite fine, so... nobody realised that i cried, though they gave me wierd faces. Fairul went off to SCH for some rehearsal, and SiHan was forced to come along... after a long session of persuading.

We headed to Cathay. We bought movie tickets to 'Pan's Labyrinth', and we were quite unsure about the story or its origin. While waiting for the movie time, we bought some food... and shopped around.

The movie is in Spanish, im quite sure. The lady who acted in this other movie we watched before was in there, so... we were wondering if the other movie that time was Spanish or French. Well, its complicating because it sounded wierd. I think it should be Spanish too. Foreign movies...

Its really good! I give the movie a few thumbs up if i have that many. It has this pinch of mystery, but yet a chunk of reality which we can relate to. It makes us wonder whether some things are real, or just plain imagination of the child. Its really complicating, it has this blow of human emotions, with some really grotesque scenes. Lots of blood at some point, and really horrifying and disturbing torturing scenes. It shows simplicity and naivity in human, malice and cruelty in characters and fairytales in reality. I think its a movie that we should watch, because its quite a different kind of movie, a balance of everything, though the setting doesnt change much. But, whats a faun? Its Roman mythology right? Its like those creatures with goat's hind legs, and with horns... and with body of man, i think. In the movie, the faun has a very questionable character. The suspense was good, and there were scenes that were really thrilling. There was this very scary looking crap which has its eyes on its palms, and thus... its really wierd, and it gives me the feeling of being in 'Silent Hill'. U know, the frightening monsters. The movie is just the right kind of fairytale for adults. Good!

We were still talking about it after the movie. We then walked back to NAFA. They practiced, while i went down to level 4 again. Ive wondered how does it look from there at night. I stood there, and looked down upon the people at the bus-stops. I looked up and tried to pierce through the clouds to see those shining stars. Im wondering... if ur there somewhere really far, looking in my direction and thinking about me, that'll be just lovely. I thought about life and how it relates to u, but then... nothing comes out toothesome before. Everything is decayed, though neither of us wished it to happen. Im still certain that u care, and u know that i do care too. I just wanna let u know, life in NAFA sucks... how isit over there? I wish to go back to year 2002.

I took out my earpiece and started to indulge myself into some music, while waiting for Mom to fetch me home. I laid under the umbrella, wishing for it to rain. Then, time flew pass really quickly... soon, ive been lying there for an hour. I went back up to get my Pipa, then i met Christoven and SiHan there too. They practiced till then, its quite amazing that they can go on like that. Anyway, they're audition is nearing, i wish them all the best! We headed down together... and waited for my Mom.

We urged SiHan not to bring back his Cello. So, he took the bus home because he went back to keep his Cello. Mom fetched Christoven home, and he bought this tin of pineapple tarts from my Mom for $12. Its cheap, isnt it? Im not sure. Anyway, my Mom is selling it, so... anybody wanna buy really good pineapple tarts, please get it from her! Please! Or else, ive to suffer her nagging. SiHan is buying right? Dun go back on ur words!

Well, im home, and i had supper. Im going to play games with LianWei now. Today's entry is short, because a slab of emotional paragraphs aint in there. Im too tired to blog about it... but well, if u know me enough, u'll be able to figure it out.

Im going mad, and i think my attitude is evolving. I wont be in a good mood these few weeks, trust me. Dun mess with me, please.

Very nice. I think its very nice. As nice as... being what u naturally are. U never listen, and i cannot be bothered anymore, forever. Im serious this time, no more next time. Anyway, u'll forever be like that, and u know what? U should be ashamed, because of what ur doing, ur losing out on many things. Well, good for me anyway, keep it going on! Its like conflating a loser with a really gay boy. Thats it! The best example ever.

Leather Pain

Its a bad day. I just took a bus home. I was waiting at the bus-stop with SiHan and YongRui, then our buses came... and it was kinda packed, so... i thought maybe i'll take the next bus. YongRui didnt board his too, and so we stayed to accompany SiHan till his bus came. How nice of us? After SiHan left, ZhengYi came... and we waited for quite some time, before YongRui's bus arrive. I was left with ZhengYi, and his bus came too! EeWei and Fairul was in the bus, we were busy waving to each other and sending flying kisses. Anyway, i was left alone... and i saw 3 bus 80s in total. I wasted so much time waiting... and when the bus came, its more packed this time round! I was so... freaking pissed.

I walked home from the bus-stop as like any other day i would. But today, its different. I took off my shoes and walked with my socks. Its wet, and now its all dirty and wet. So, i ran into my house and headed to the kitchen to remove them, including my long black pants, which was wet too... because its touching the ground. With nothing, not even my underwear because i had a performance, and u know my custom, i dun wear any underwear when im performing. Its comfortable u see. Anyway, i used my bag to cover myself and ran into my room, hoping that Chester isnt in there. Well, good thing its kinda dark... and he wasnt home. My uncle was watching the TV, and i ran past him like that...

I woke up today, feeling kinda lethargic and thought about taking the cab down to YanYu's place. But well, i thought that maybe i'll be nice for once. I carried the Pipa and left home for the MRT station. Well, i wore leather shoes, with ankle socks. Thats the worst combination ever! Please do not repeat this again, WeiKang! Its fucking painful! My feet were wearing off, and there was a red patch... my skin wore off, and it hurts like sticking a rusty iron nail into the heart, just that its not bleeding. I couldnt walk at all...

When i alighted off the train, i took a seat. While walking over, i sat at the bus-stop, resting my feet. It took my much courage and endurance to suffer all the way till i got to her doorstep. The grit didnt last long, i started complaining to YanYu about the shoes... and she also told me things about her shoes last time. Then, she insisted that i take her husbands shoes first.

We went through the piece, and it wasnt that bad. It was tiring, and it got me worried about my performance class later, because im so tired... and im so shagged already, how am i going to play well? While packing up, YanYu was telling me things about her maid. And she sent me to the door, and passed me a branded shoe, and she told me that its her husband's. Anyway, i rejected the offer... mainly because that the shoe size aint right, her husband is rather big is size, but his shoe size is so tiny! Wierd.

She passed me some plasters, and i stuffed my pants into the shoe to refrain further damage to my ankles. I walked out to the road very slowly, like clambering. Then, i flagged for some time, before one kind driver stopped for me. Every taxis were like heading for Woodlands. What for? Shift? I boarded the cab slowly, and grimaced over the pain. The driver then started asking whether its the Pipa, and am i heading for music lessons. See? Thats exactly what i was talking about yesterday. Remember? Well, he's smarter. He kept quiet after my purposeful silence.

The fare killed me. It cost me around $15 again. I swallowed the pain in my heart, and tried focusing and contemplating about the hurt that feet are going through more than the money deserves. So, i headed to the recital hall, but before that... i bought food up. I was in such a hurry, with the heavy Pipa, with lunch in my hand and the pain that im going through. I quickly ate after putting down the Pipa.

I played 'ShiMianMaiFu' today. Well, it sounded weak to me, but well... i think everybody has their opinions based on their impression of that piece. If someone can go find a recording for me that has such bursting openings, please send it to me. Ive so many recordings, and theres not one which satisfies my appetite for that sound. I crave for more, but honestly... thats most i can give, because i should conserve energy for later parts. Anyway, QingLun turned the pages for me, and i told him about sections which i'll be skipping. The whole thing sounded like shit, because i didnt warm up at all. After lesson, i took an hour break to travel down. And after eating, i had to play straight away. So, well... its hard for people to understand my excuses. Anyway, im quite comfortable with anything, because i know how to filter things i hear. In fact, i treat them as almost junk, because i know what i did and what i should do and what i must do. I know it deep inside, therefore... most comments that they gave me today were mainly rubbish and useless trash. There were sections in the beginning which sounded dirty, because i wasnt ready to play, and i was shivering abit. When i shiver, it means that im not confident of something. Anyway, i only had lesson for a week, so... i think its not bad for the progress already. So, the shouting part sounded bad, and it ate up most of my energy. I made certain parts raw, and as to allow it to fit into the image of a war, the chaos and the mess. Ive inserted all of my own understandings into the piece, and in fact... the whole piece aint about war people. Who said that its war? Its ambush, and the preparatory of war! Things that i could do, i did. Things that i couldnt, because its technical and it requires practicing, i didnt. My contrast was there, and i think i did the contrast quite well. Im proud of my own performance today, though im sure it'll be better. Anyway, ive heard YuJia played this before, and i think u should hear it, and u'll realise that u should keep some unimportant comments to urself, because u might offend others.

ShuMin played an old tune, and i think she got it misunderstood. Im not sure whether its that her teacher didnt explain it to her, or that she has the misconception. I think it sounded quite small... or in fact, to embellished in nature. Actually, its kinda raw and unprocessed, but in a way... 'embellished' as in a not so good way. Well, its thanks to LimChooLi that now i do understand somethings that YanYu has said to me many times before. She has made it clear to me how things are at times, and not what we conceive.

I headed upstairs, and tried hard to complete some more modal melodies for composition tutorial. I was telling Christoven that i wanna skip class, because i havent completed everything. And he adviced me to go for class, so... i stole a pencil and headed to a studio to get some inspiration. I lost my pencil again! And the worst thing is that... its a stolen pencil. Thats great! I lost things that i steal. Anyway, i played certain melodies and i realised that its so much easier with a computer around, especially my NoteWorthy programme. I penned down my melodies and quickly rushed out a few more ideas. Then, i realised! I realised! I realised that im doing too much! Its just 8 bars, and i did 16 bars for everything! Its no wonder that im so slow behind. Im so stupid! Come on! So, i wrote 8 bars for this wierd pentatonic melody, its Chinese, but its wierd... so i dunno how to name it.

DrGoh went through everybody's work, and when he stumbled on mine, he paused and the whole class suddenly went really quiet. I was so shocked. Anyway, then he asked about my instrumentation for the final composition, and i told him that i'll write for YangQin, LiuQin and Ruan. Its rather strange, because i heard that the composer cannot participate. So, i shant play and i shant write for Pipa, because... i dun think ShuMin and Anthea can handle the crazy things i play sometimes. Dun get the wrong idea. Its easier to write for oneself because i know my limits and what i can play. I wonder who is going to help me play... i think im going to ask ChaiXia, JiaJin and Stanley or XiangPeng. Just thinking... and hoping that if its possible, maybe YiLeng, to be more convenient for everybody. Well, they're all from CSCO, so we can rehearse more often too.

After class, i went to drink soya with SiHan and Christoven. Then, i headed back to school to practice awhile. On our way back, it was raining like rhinos and elephants. We were all drenched. I was extremely wet, and i think the raindrop must be really huge. Its like splattering against me, and im like wet from head to toe. The rain was heavy, and it fell like nails pinning against the ground.

The computer lab was kinda warmer than anywhere else, so i headed there with SiHan. We watched several videos, but it didnt sound quite funny with SiHan around. Anyway, i tried laughing... but i couldnt. Then, i took my Pipa and left for Conrad Hotel.

QingLun and gang headed to this place where i went with JunRu's family to eat, with ZhangLie too and MajorTay. It was a pity that i couldnt go, because i had to reach Conrad Hotel at half past 6. So, i followed them to the bus-stop, and QingLun kept asking me to go with them. But well, i cant. So, i took a bus down to Suntec and walked over to the hotel.

I sat there and it was so comfortable to sit in their lounge. The sofa felt so... comfy! I snuggled and got myself some rest. Soon, YongSoon arrived with XinYu. WeiMing came last, and we headed up to the salons. I play there every year, and its not very exciting to play there again. We settled down, and YongSoon helped me with my tie. Then, we started talking about things in China, and also things in MDC back then. It was so funny to listen to him talk, because he has alot of expression on his face. And the tone changes with his gesticulation.

We started playing when its 7. We played very softly, because they requested for soft music. So, as long as the instruments are making sound, its alright. We went through the pieces, and decided to repeat them as long as we can. Indeed! We played the pieces over and over again, with endless repeats. It was so freaking boring, and so... i started to improvise alot! In fact, its so different from my scores already. There was once or twice that my playful improvisation slipped off and hit the wrong chord, or key or note. Then, YongSoon will get shocked and he'll look up and laugh. Sometimes, the improvisation sounded unique and cool, and he's surprised too and he'll look up and smile. I could tell that everyone was tired, they didnt improvise much though YongSoon and i did. I admire their mental strength to tolerate playing the same old things over and over. There was this slow piece which we repeated for over 3 times, and i was so... freaking mentally worn out. Anyway, we took a break... because we played really long. So, we played only 2 sets. We'll collect our pay next time when we go for CSCO.

During performance class, MrYeo also gave me another gig to do. He asked me to play the Ruan for a performance, and i told him that i'll rather play Pipa for gigs, because im more capable of improvising on the Pipa than on the Ruan. And well, XiangPeng rejected the offer to play for the gig that Stanley and i had done for the past 2 years. Now, where am i going to find another YangQin player? Im asking YiLeng now. Ive asked HaoSong, but its kinda unsafe to just ask one.

Anyway, they were telling me that they might me to bring back the YangQin to my house, because the CC might be closed. Well, lucky me... we ended early, so... they brought back the YangQin, while i headed back to NAFA to keep my Pipa. I'll be playing at NAFA again tomorrow, because MrYeo kept bugging me to help out. So, i wont be going down to NUS for rehearsal, though i really wish to go down to listen to the Pipa concerto.

I had supper with SiHan and YongRui, with a plate of noodle and i specially bought the fish from the other stall. The fish is very nice, thanks to Christoven's recommendation. I think i'll be eating that for the rest of my life in NAFA. Anyway, we talked about many things... and after that, i headed back to school for a drink.

Then, with nothing else to do, we headed to the bus-stop and thats where my story will repeat again if im going to go on. Anyway, there was this eye candy on the bus, and i couldnt get my eyes off this candy bar. Nevermind, its too sweet for me anyway, because im diabetic!

My eyes are shutting... and im feeling it getting heavier and heavier. Thats it, im going to sleep! Goodnight people.

Maybe not, i shall play one more game before sleeping!

Overweening personal ambition is no virtue. For that overweening pride can bring condign disasters!

Happier This Way ?

Thats wierd... my MSN is still logging in...

Well, i came home earlier, because i went over to CSCC to get a Pipa for my performances tomorrow. I'll be performing with YongSoon and dunno who in Conrad Hotel. Its some gig performance, and another one would be for performing class during the afternoon.

I took the cab to school again. And this time, its super expensive! The extra cost summed up to at least $5. So, the whole ride took away my life. Anyway, the driver was so irritating. Let me start nagging now. U know, taxi drivers are always trying to find something to talk about, or either that they'll try to raise a topic to discuss... and they'll always show themselves as being experienced and very smart. So, they were asking where im heading to. After knowing that im going towards NAFA, they'll start talking about arts. One asked whether im learning drawing. I told them that its music that im studying, and they assumed that im doing that part time, and they asked if old people can take part. What the hell! They'll ask me whether arts can making a living in a very unfeeling tone. Fuck u uncles, just shut up when u dun hear any replies. Sometimes, even if i keep quiet, they'll keep calling me... and ive no choice but to answer. Stupid cab drivers!

LimChooLi was late too. I got there first, and i couldnt take it and had to visit the loo. After coming out, she was sitting there with PekChuan. We rehearsed through the piece, and i found it rather difficult to play with YouGuo's Pipa. Anyway, she taught me some performance tricks and went through every part of the piece with me in detail. I think that her explanation is very rich in description, and musically... i think its very nice too. Well, its the common misconception that i have. Ive heard many versions, and some of which sounded horrible. Anyway, LimChooLi encouraged me despite all the demands. I had fun rehearsing with her, and i'll look forward to the next rehearsal. Ive to memorise the piece... and thats quite a sad news for me. There are still a few parts which i feel rather uncomfortable with, i'll seek YanYu's advice tomorrow.

Composition lecture was fun. DrGoh didnt stress anybody, and went through some very psychological thingi. Its like some personality finding session, or some psychology seminar. So, he refreshed my memory about things like being left or right brained. Well, im more of the right brain person. Im emotional... and i dun remember the rest, because the emotional thingi was highlighted red during the lecture. Anyway, the lecture ended friendly like how it started. I enjoyed the lecture, as compared to the dreadful one during the evening.

Yohanna was sick last week, and i was sick too! So, i still owe her one piece of work, because there wasnt any last week! Im so glad. We went through the augmented sixths today, and using it as a pivot chord to a new modulated key. Well, its not that tough, its pretty simple. I did the first demonstration on the board, though i stood up there for a long time... arranging the notes, my chords were all right... somehow. We were talking in class about things like hospital, food poisoning, because apparently, she was hospitalised last week. Fairul was acting really wierd today, and Yohanna was like... disturbed. YinXuan was sitting beside me, and i shared my book with him because i didnt bring mine. Well, we've one more homework today. I'll need to hand up both next week. How nice?

Didnt eat with SiHan, because he has to rush off for rehearsal. So sorry, because he waited for me till my tutorial ended. I ate with LianWei and YinXuan. We headed to SunShine and i recommended them to this pasta which was my addicted drug during my first year in NAFA. The auntie saw me and she remembered me. I ordered cream pasta with chicken cutlet, and without knowing what the order, they followed and ordered what i ordered. So much ordering going around, and the place was packed. Last time, its rather quiet... and i remembered eating there with YanYa and XueMin. Fond memories, so enamored. Anyway, it was quite cheap, but expensive because im currently back to my powerless state. Before heading towards SunShine, DongXiao stopped me and reminded me to pass her her money. So, i withdrew $250 from my account and gave it to her, its her pay for the gig last year. Anyway, we met Jwen and gang there... and started this X-Girls thingi again.

U know of their abilities? Their special powers? No? Well, ur missing out too much on Marvel's comic! Well, this professor added candies, spices, and everything nice... and accidentally, with some snails! Thus, Jwen is born! Thats how the story goes... as for Evan, i better not say... Its quite a sad story.

After eating, we drank soya. The usual store didnt open, so we tried the other stall. It tasted so much better! I love it! But too bad, due to commitments... ive to drink at the usual old store. The sky started to look grey, so we headed back to school. With nothing in mind, and with no Pipa to practice, i took out my composition homework and tried completing it.

I sat in the studio alone, and started to let my imagination run wild. It flowed slowly with thoughts of sorrow to anger. Sometimes i think, whether im too simple, or too sophisticated for myself to dissimulate my loneliness. SiHan was practicing, and so was Christoven. Without my Pipa, im indeed as lonely as... emptiness.

The world is ending, there are so many signs. There have been multiple floodings in Asia, and not forgetting other catastrophal events which took place within these few years. Im not sure, but i think i wont live long enough to see the world end. However, i think i'll be stuck in its process, which i'll suffer with my kids next time. Actually... i dun wish to have any kids next time. Or maybe i havent thought of it yet.

History lecture was hell boring! I sat with SiHan, and we were drawing cartoon on the notes! It was so freaking funny, and it started out with Christoven's drawing of DrKan. Anyway, Mark was so generous, he was providing paper for everyone. I didnt manage to write any evaluation for the presentations by XueYuen, Marie and EnXin. XueYuen's presentation on Strauss and Mahler was extremely humorous. TingTing was on the computer, and she was so blur... which spiced up the whole humour. Anyway, we drew Fairul... and it looked freaking funny. I dunno how does it look to others, but as for us... its our masterpiece, and its hard work! We drew every part and bit one by one... taking turns to complete the composition of the portrait.

Sat around while waiting for SiHan and YongRui to finish their dinner, DrGoh came and joined us. We sat and gossiped... chatting about tonight's concert, which Samuel is performing a piece by DrGoh with Harp. Its a Harp recital i think... and the tickets are so freaking expensive. Anyway, then they started talking bad about somebody. I dun wish to mention anything here, because im not very familiar with whats going on afterall. Im as innocent as a little flower can be. How cute.

Hold that puke! Not now.

I went to BrasBasah to change my DVD, because its faulty. They were very nice, they were so willing to change it even without needed to ask for the reciept. They cleaned the disc for me, and allowed me to pick a new DVD. Then, i headed to the foodcourt to look for QingLun and gang. MrYeo messaged me that ive to perform tomorrow, and so... ive told Jonathan my piece already, and he'll be in charged of printing the programme. They left, and with an empty stomache... i took the bus towards CSCC... and forgotten about dinner.

I was practicing just now, and my hands were like so tired! I played till i almost blank out. I was so giddy... i stood up and almost fell down. Its really tiring, physically and mentally. I had no choice, but to practice at home... so my uncle went downstairs because he couldnt take the sound. Too bad! He is very selfish, and he is my relative uncle, not the other uncle who i always have lunch with. He bought back food, and knowing that im at home, he didnt even bother to ask. He bought his own and sat there eating... while grandma and i were watching TV. Fuck, such an automatic initiation is extremely lost in his character. He suck, really. I dun like him. I told Mom that he has to move out of the house. And she agreed too...

Im going to have lesson tomorrow with YanYu. Mom couldnt come home by tonight, because it has been raining in Malaysia and stuff. The news have been reporting about floodings in Malaysia, the loss and damages are high, with people losing their cars to the flood, and properties and crops too. Its very saddening. And im kinda worried for Mom. I hope that she'll remember buying me those shoes!

Inscrutable

Im listening to EvaCassidy now. She has a beautiful voice. Ive heard her sing some other songs before, but now... ive realised how pretty she can sound. So, im planning to buy more of her albums! Anyway, im listening to her American tunes, and it sounds fantastic, though it doesnt match the Celtic looking CD cover.

I just got home from a bus ride. My legs are in pain! I walked for at least 6 hours today. Well, i headed to school in the morning. Was planning to withdraw some cash then take a cab down to school, but too bad... the queue was too long. I stood with the last person, and got slightly choleric and edgy about waiting. So, i walked out and flagged for a cab.

He stopped me outside SimLim, which would save me a dollar or 2. Well, i paid with NETS, which i always do, because they wont send a reciept of my sinful deeds to Mom at the end of every month! Anyway, for cabs, NETS would only cost an additional 30 cents, instead of the card's extra 10%, which would sum up to $1 at times.

Anyway, LumYanSing just called me, and i was shocked. As i was cursing about at home, and moaning over the lack of cash, i think heaven must have heard my cries! She has shown her tenderness to me by sending me a few gigs for me all at once. Ive been working with Stanley at Conrad Hotel during every CNY, well this year... i didnt recieve anything, but suddenly... i got the same gig from Conrad Hotel again, but given by LumYanSing. Well, i'll contact him again when i visit NUS. Anyway, another performance was by YongSoon, and another by ChaoYuan. And finally one more by XiangPeng, which i'll have to find another person to play with me. As for the Conrad Hotel one, i must find a YangQin person. Its hard to find a YangQin person, and Stanley would be the best choice, but i think he aint free this year. Now, i'll consider either HaoSong or asking XiangPeng. Its a tough choice... Who else can improvise well on YangQin? Or at least be very versatile with it. To think of it, im sick of Conrad's bad attitude waitresses. I remembered that bitch... whats her name again?

So, i wasnt really late for class. As usual, i entered class when they've already started their first question. I took somebody else's book because i didnt finish up my homework. Anyway, we managed to distract EricWatson, or that he has forgotten that he'll check our work. So, the class ended like that... and i asked him about music technology class, and he said that he will change the class back to Wednesday, instead of the clashing time with harmony lecture. Anyway, i would prefer the clash, because... we'll be missing more lessons. Im joking... but seriously... nevermind. I was so relieved, and i put back the book into the room. Jwen found her book, and i took this book which she stole previously when she found out that her book was missing, which is found now. Get it? As for me, i have mine... but i didnt do. Its complicating.

Had lunch with my uncle, who came to school to fetch me. Before that, i was watching MadTV with LianWei, and we laughed like mad. Anyway, i ate simple food which tasted so good! I wanna go there again... but i cant find company, plus that fact that its quite far away. Im thinking of going there during lunch tomorrow or something, since class will start at 4 after our tutorial during noon. He gave me money, and i suddenly felt rich and equipped. Though its merely $50, but it made me feel powerful as compared to before. I was incompetent and to an extent... impotent. But now, im filthy opulent, moneyed and flushed with cash! Im joking... i think its enough to last for a week... with my thrifty character. Right? Right...

After eating... i headed back to school to shit. Then, after that... headed for the platform performance. I was so liquidated when i saw the programme sheet, its all Piano music! Well, the Piano is so overrated, thats why i dun really like them. Anyway, i sat alone, till QingLun came and accompanied me. He slept from the second piece onwards. As for me, i hate to sleep during concerts... but ive no choice! I fell into deep slumber... till some pieces which shook me up.

Ive nothing planned, neither to i have the Pipa to practice. I feel so weak again. So, Fairul, LianWei, YinXuan and i agreed to go out together. YinXuan and LianWei headed for class first, while i accompanied Fairul to this weird place to get his hair cut. We walked to orchard, under the burning sun and with our sweaters on. I wanted to kill him already, but well... soon, we got there already, though i havent felt walking for such a short distance which felt like some hiking session. I sat there and read the magazine while waiting for his haircut. Well, the couple looked wierd, are they Malay or Chinese? Anyway, the girl looked very pretty.

After that, we went shopping. I kept taking pictures and telling him how ugly his haircut is. I think he shouldnt cut so short anymore. It sucks! Alright, i know that im in no position to criticise anybody, because im ugly, fat and sucky. But, because of that, who cares! Im going to say anything i want. Hear my evil laughter...

We looked through many weird things at OG, before LianWei and YinXuan arrived. Fairul was taking pictures with these few ugly hats. They're obviously for woman, and probably old woman or cancer patients. He took this green hairy hat and wore it... I was running away for my life from embarrassment! LianWei called me several times, and we met up with them in OG.

We headed down, and with the shopping list of shoes, wallets and for me, CDs. Actually, i really need a wallet. Someone told me that it isnt good to have a wallet with holes, its like superstitious. Its the origin of my woes for cash! It must be. Ive realised it after hearing it. Anyway, we entered 2 cafes, twice, with YinXuan's initiation of buying drink. In the end, we walked out empty handed twice too. He doesnt wanna drink when we dun wanna drink... thats the problem. Anyway, i dun drink coffee... remember? Fairul was worried about DrGoh, because he skipped class. As for me, i was thinking of skipping aural this morning, but... while thinking, im already in the cab... so what the hell, just go for it.

We shopped at wierd places, and found nothing really fanciful or nice. As for shoes, ive told Mom to get them for me from Malaysia. Ive fallen for some wierd leather shoes that i saw when i went Malaysia that horrible day to visit my grandfather. Remember? Anyway, i told her to get them back for me. Its 3 for the price of 2. Meaning... they give 1 free, when we buy 2. Its not really that bad, the quality looked fine. Anyway, its just for performances next time and stuff. Its too glamerous to wear something like that for casual purposes. Im thinking of getting a durable wallet... though i found one in OG, Fairul kept telling me that it'll break and end up like my current one. Anyway, i saw this coin pouch from FXCreation, and i condemned it straight away. I tried using it anyway, and i put in a few coins... and threw it on the floor... and the coins came out! There, see! FXCreation sucks!

We headed to TheHeerens, and saw this programme going on. They had cameras rolling, and a stupid female host on stage barking away. Everybody was crowding there, witnessing a terrible event in history. Well, its some dance programme, and there are 2 groups of dancers only. Its the final showdown, but it looks like... the finalists are not that great afterall. When they introduced the judges, i thought that its like rather cool, because the judges danced damn well! The first one was so suave and smooth with his moves, the second one was a lady in baggy shirts and pants. She was flapping away... and she almost took flight! Fantastic. The last one is this ugly Chinese guy, which pink hair... which LianWei thinks is cool. Anyway, the dancers were so... freaky. They give me the chills! Its like watching people who cannot play Pipa play some Pipa pieces and pretend to be very good. I dunno... but u get what i mean? They danced so horribly, and their instructors were there. The female instructor was cool. She was cool on stage. As for the guy instructor, its totally a blow off! He is gay, ultimately. Not that bad actually, but its like he's stealing the limelight of the contestants. He was dancing away... and his moves were so freaking gay! I think u can imagine... male dancers. They're mostly like that, but not like that NAFA, and i thank the heaven for that. I'll be working with some of them soon. Im glad that they're nice people, and mostly from China.

We left, and urged Fairul to go. His eyes were stuck with this guy dancer, who won the competition. And they were prized with this HongKong trip. Well, cool right? Not cool. Anyway, they were faking their accent in HongKong style when they begged the judges to let them win. My goodness! My hair was not just standing... they were freaking popping out of my skin! Thats gross.

We walked over all of orchard. We invaded shopping centres and malls. We had dinner at Takashimaya, and i ordered this $8 Ipoh noodles! Well, its supposed to be Korean, but it looked so much like those noodles in Ipoh, which is in Malaysia. What the hell... Anyway, they only spent like $5 for their food. Anyway, it didnt taste quite bad. The drink was so expensive too.

They were all complaining that i rest my arm on their shoulder too much. But i had to... so they took turns to let me rest my arm. Finally, we landed in ThatCDShop, which turned out to a nightmare for LianWei i think. Fairul had already gone off for rehearsal already. LianWei was sitting there... and rotting away. He said that he felt like puking, maybe its the cinematic effects? Anyway, LianWei cant watch movies in cinemas. He has a phobia for cinemas, he'll puke when he goes into one. Cool right? I mean, wierd right? Anyway, i didnt know that YinXuan is such a shopper too! He bought 4 CDs at one goal! I was shocked... I only have 3 HighSociety CDs, and he has like 4 now! He is... powerful! Im encouraging him to get the membership card, so that we'll be entitled to 10$ off next time. Anyway, i gave him my reciept so that he can get a total of $250 within 2 months to get the membership. I want it for myself too, but i didnt know, because i used to buy CDs from there like crazy too.

After shopping at FarEast, we headed home. There, i spotted this Indian guy with my similar sweater. I hid at a corner because i think he noticed me too... and he quickly turned around with his friend. I pulled YinXuan to a corner and headed in another direction. Later, while bitching about that guy, i saw a couple, with this guy wearing the similar shirt im wearing! I almost fainted, and i spotted it out to them. They were laughing away. Anyway, u know how it feels when u see someone else wearing the same shirt right? Unless its some publicity shirt, or some organisation shirt. I felt terrible.

Im home now, trying hard to finish up with this entry... so that i'll be able to play games with LianWei. I just sent Tillabong a recording, and Andy some other songs. I finally sent Daniel the Pipa piece he has been eager to listen to. Let me go rest now... i think i should sell MP3s, or recordings. I'll be rich if people would buy them from me. Of course, i know its illegal. Anyway, nobody has bought any from me, so dun bother reporting to the police alright? My cousin is doing the police force, i'll surrender to him myself when i do, alright? Please dun do anything silly.

Im delighted in keeping people guessing. My thought processes are eclectic, inscrutable and unpredictable. However, i hate to guess myself. Can we stop this game? Just tell me, whats wrong?

Morally Lethargic ?

Im home. I had a... good time today. Well, i didnt attend class today. Im kinda too stressed out myself. So, i stayed home and tried to do something productive. In the end, like always... just rotting away at YouTube.

Then, i remembered Andy's appointment with me. So, i bathed and took a bus down to Bugis to meet him. We ate at Pastamania, and Chester was working there! When he saw me, i heard him telling his friends that his cousin is here. And yes, thats me. Its kinda super awkward to take order for ur cousin right? I bet he was feeling so. Anyway, Andy ordered first, then i took another order. My meal should cost around $9, but in the end... its only $6 plus. I was shocked, then i realised that he gave me 30% discount. So, i took a seat and messaged him. I said, thank u.

So, after having our fill, we left and headed back to NAFA. SiHan got into this Asian orchestra thingi, and he was so happy. He needed to distress, so... he asked whether we wanted to play LAN. Well, im not really that into playing LAN with SiHan, because there aint anything to play. After a few minutes, we're sitting in the LAN shop, playing with Richard too. Great day, right?

After an hour, i couldnt take it already. I kept losing, and most of all... im having motion sickness. I felt really giddy, almost puking. I bought a drink from McDonalds, and got myself settled down. I turned off my computer and logged off. So, they continued playing, while persuading me to continue. I really couldnt take it, so i took another chair and make myself comfortable. There aint many people in the shop, so... i slept on the chairs, with my legs up in the air... as if at home. I fell asleep.

When i woke up, they're still playing... and im often disturbed with SiHan's shouting and nudging. He kept cursing Andy and Richard. Well, not in a rude way. And its so funny... so, i woke up laughing and then headed to the toilet to freshen up. I sat there and continued lying for a while... till i recieved ShuMin's message. The concerto competition is finally over. The results are out... and HaiJie got first! Well, its kinda obvious that he would. Then, Laurance and XinYing got second, and last but not least, Poom, with third. Im surprised that MaSai didnt manage to win, but well... its the Piano's turn this time.

I went off first, to meet ShuMin and gang at the soya stall. After sitting down, SiHan and gang came. Thats rather fast... I didnt have any cash, so... i sat there and stole food from SiHan. I actually wanted to borrow money to take dinner, but well... i had pasta during the evening already... so i thought maybe i should stop eating for once. Im growing and growing. Well, after getting into NAFA, ive managed to lose some weight, but apparently, im balancing them back. Im so freaking horrible. Im hopeless... if i become slim one day, the world would either be in jeopardy or that Singapore will be snowing by then.

After that, we headed back to NAFA, with the intention of going for supper. Then, who knows... everybody just felt like going home. I met QingLun in school, then we went downstairs to wait for Richard, before leaving for Bugis' direction. While waiting, we were intending to scare him when he comes out of the lift. Then, we almost got the wrong person, it was Hartung. Then, there was Tommy too. We failed our mission...

We met ShuMin and Jonathan at the bus-stop. They left first, but we managed to catch up with them. Soon, bus 12 came, and they left. My bus came next, and i left too. The bus wasnt that full today, surprisingly. And so, i enjoyed a comfortable journey sitting alone. Usually, i would be sharing with some smelly uncles. Sometimes, old Chinese uncles, Indian men, or Malay women. The combination never changes.

Im home now, listening to XueQi's woes. Well, she's kinda stressed with her work. She is Samuel's personal assistant, and research partner, so... she has to do work for Samuel. Then, she has her own school work. Now, XiangLe has enrolled into NS, she has to deal with their quartet. And she's approved me to blog this out anyway, so here goes...

She cannot understand why some people are so hard to work along with. Usually, for a quartet, even for string quartets, dun u think its easier to get close friends to work together with? Firstly, theres time for everybody, and most of all, they'll understand each other more. So, the problem is that... the ErHu person for the quartet, and the Ruan person is hard to work with. They're either missing, hard to get in contact with, or has no responsibility for the quartet. I dun wish to say who, but u know who u are. Anyway, XueQi is asking... isit really that busy in NAFA? Its a psychological thingi! Come on, people are usually drinking soya, bitching during lunch or doing nothing. Theres so much free time, but apparently... everybody's telling themselves that they're so busy with NAFA! Well, im not denying, even me. Im telling myself how busy i am, but... it seems that im kinda free actually, right? In fact, im should be busy. I should be, i repeat, i should be. However, im not! Thus, it aint an excuse when u can spend ur time walking about and going out with friends. XueQi is doing this all alone, when she can actually just share abit of her load with her other team members. But why not? Because, nobody wants to share the load! How nice right? Well, responsibility is something that kids are missing out nowadays. She told me that she once tried giving to the Ruan player, but he simply just said that he cant take such responsibility, and he pushed it away. And of course, with the face giving too. I can imagine, totally. Ur not a boy anymore dude, grow up and its time not to be so selfish anymore. Uve said that u strive so hard to make everyone happy, but... actually, ur not. Its impossible to make everyone happy, theres surely a balance. XueQi said that the attitude sucks, and yes... ive to agree at times. Generally, hes a nice person, just not aware of what hes doing. Play, play and play. He can even be jealous of his own friends, and sometimes... work his ass off to make them happy, but... deep inside, its just not healthy, because he aint very happy himself. Just be normal for once, please. U wished to be normal, and u can. But in reality, ur forcing urself into this! Come on, crawl out of that well urself this time. Its not the wind that cracked ur shoulder, its the mirror image. Ur days are spent lying supine, crouching and kneeling in small spaces, chiseling away with ur life.

On the edge of sleep, i urged my thoughts backward, back to my own backyard, where i lay supine, looking at the stars on a empty night, looking back in time as far as starlight could take me... and a drop of water fell on my forehead.

A Silent Censure

Im home, and i think im going to get myself busy with my work. Ive to complete quite a chunk of work by tomorrow. And moreover, there's going to be harmony lecture tomorrow. Im like so screwed. Anyway, i think ive some social issues.

I woke up rather late, so i took the MRT down to Novena and then a bus to school. DrGoh went through the choir piece today, and i think the sectionals worked out well. DrGoh screamed at KaiXiang, because he didnt bring his scores. I shared my scores with him, and finally... i got a chance to flee off and sing the second Bass parts. Soon after, DrGoh decided to move Jonathan over too.

QingLun was feeling very sick after choir. They headed to SunShine to have lunch, but i didnt really wanna go there. So, i accompanied QingLun to get his panadol, and after that... he wanted to eat Yoshinoya, which is at Bugis. He was feeling headache and giddy, but yet he wanted to eat Yoshinoya. I told him not to go so far, so we settled at BK. I know, ive been eating fastfood like three times a week. Its bad!

I helped him order a student meal. He stopped with the first bite, and started to feel terrible. I continued eating, while requesting for a carrier to bring his food back to school. I finished my fries, and i held him up, and took his food back to school. I told him to rest while i went over to buy more panadol for him.

I told him to rest at the lounge, so i went over to the lounge. I found nobody, and i went to level 6, and found nobody too. I kept calling, but he didnt pick up his phone. Its not like its not normal... So, finally... he called me, and told me that he's at level 4. He was lying on the sofa, resting and trying to sleep. I gave him the panadol, and after that, he slept. I took out my burger and started eating. DrGoh came, and he told me something, and then asked about QingLun. Poor thing...

I saw MrYeo, and i told him about QingLun. So, he didnt have to play during ensemble. Neither do i. Why? I dun wish to say. Anyway, i sat there throughout the ensemble practice, and played with TingTing, who has nothing to do at all. Her Zheng parts are not required at all... So, she's just sitting there and rotting away.

After ensemble, i took LimChooLi's Pipa to Eason. I went there alone, because there wasnt anybody in school. There, i met MrBoo, BenBoo's father, and he was with his wife. We took a seat and started chatting. He was telling me that he wanna recommend some students for me, and he also asked and talked about his son, BenBoo. Ben is currently in the access course, studying Percussion under Angeline. Anyway, he told me about his students, as well as his plans. Then, he also asked about Jonathan. He heard that Jonathan cried over his workload in school. Well, kinda true. He said that people that has no background, and crashed into the second semester will suffer. I agree, what about u, LianWei? I think they've missed out quite a few things, that explains the suffering. But, i believe that if one works hard enough, he should be able to live through it eventually. Its inevitable. What is? That is.

I left, and headed back to NAFA. There was nothing to do, but to drink soya with Mark, Christoven, May and Yikki. We were talking and laughing away at the soya stall. Yikki and May looks good together. They are lame, and they fall under the same category. They have similar things to talk about, and they are Malaysians. I think they are so much more suitable for each other. Anyway, May was making jokes out of Yikki, and they started talking back. Mark was so broke, he needed somebody to treat him to soya. But in the end, he managed to survive with his little $10. Actually, im more broke than u, Mark. Ive only like $2 left in my wallet. I dunno why, but probably its the food thingi. Ive been spending much on food. Not worth it.

I played Piano alone in the studio, and found some really nice chords. I went over to help ShuMin and Anthea with their pieces for SYCO. Anyway, Michelle also said that she's quitting soon... because she cant stand it there. Well, i think u should too, afterall... nevermind...

The platform tonight was quite interesting. I slept for the first piece, which was a string quartet. And the second piece was by Christoven and HuiQi, and from then on, i stayed awake till the last piece, which was the Bartok's piece for Percussion and Pianos. Anyway, Christoven and HuiQi's Violas dun sound alike at all, and in fact... far from being close. Its distinctively 2 different colour. Anyway, HuiQi looked rather nervous... and there were some minor intonation problems for both of them. But overall, i think they did better than their rehearsals! Goodjob people! Gabriel's piece was kinda impressive, rather showy in nature. Poom did well on the Piano too. They looked so cute on stage. I was sitting alone, but KaiXiang kept asking me not to sit alone. Then, Victor asked me to sit beside him. I sat with Victor, and Jeremy was behind. They were so funny. Then i offered my wierd sweet to everybody. Anyway, the performance was alright, not a bore.

I took my attendance and left school with SiHan and Christoven. We walked over to Bugis for dinner, but we couldnt settle where to eat. In the end, we ended up at McDonalds! My goodness, i wished i hadnt eaten BK during noon. I ate fastfood twice in a single day! Imagine that, and its only Monday. I will definitely eat fastfood again within this week... which has like 6 days more. Im so screwed! Anyway, i tried this new burger. Its nice!

We sat there and talked for hours. We were laughing and sharing experiences back in our seconday school days. Its like the only topic that doesnt die out, in fact... it gets fresher and fresher. I missed those naughty school days. Its fun, but... to think of it back then, it aint that interesting only until we left school. One day, we'll be talking about days in NAFA already. Be prepared to remember certain events to talk about next time. One of which would definitely be our dear SiHan's wife... u know who. Thats so random, and it spoils my food. I mean, mood.

Great, i no mood. Im going sleep. Before that, i should try finishing my work. Anyway, i handed in my composition homework, and i told DrGoh that i'll drop it into his pigeon hole, and he looked reluctant... then he said its... alright. So funny.

Dun think i dunno. Well, if u want this to go on, fine with me, go ahead. Im on for anything. It'll hurt eventually, somehow. An official opening today, isnt it?

Extemporaneous Dream

Just got home, and was on the phone with WeiFeng, talking about life. Then, he was asking me about finding something to suit his new bought blazer. And he was telling me that he's involved in Chingay this year. He'll be dancing in some silly costume! Anyway, Kenny is involved too. Its going to be fun. He asked whether he should organise a chalet. Well, he has been saying it since a few months ago, from Louis' birthday chalet till now. Anyway, to think about it... i think my schedule is rather empty this year. Ive yet to recieve any performances for new year. Maybe its abit too soon. But well, usually i'll have them ready and planned out.

I woke up late this morning. I found myself an excuse to go the bank to update my book. I stood at the machine, listening to the clicking and stamping sound. Well, its been a really long time since i last updated the book, therefore explaining the few minutes it took. The book was in there, and coming out and in again to flip the pages. Well, i think it filled up at least a few pages. Then, i stood beside the road... and a cab came. Its fated, i took the cab down for CSCO.

When i was there, they were still preparing. So, i took my time to tune my Pipa and get myself ready for practice. The conductor came later, and before that... i was talking to ChaiXia. I told YanJun that her tremolo has improved. YouGuo will be playing for the concert too. He came today, with MayaKartikaSari and HueiMinn. Maya is the Indonesian Pipa player who took part in the same category as me for the competition last year. HueiMinn is my junior, who is YouGuo's student, and she was the one who withdrew from the competition due to her studies. Anyway, they'll be joining us for the concert, and thats great! Anyway, YouGuo's hair is longer now, which i think suits him more. I like his new look, more shabby actually. He didnt shave either, and i think it looks more manly for him. Keep that up.

Soon, after running through the pieces, its lunch time. ChaiXia has to attend some meeting, so i ate with Kenny and gang. Then, MinHui and gang didnt wanna eat with us, because they're tired of the food. I asked whether they wanna go McDonalds, because theres a new McDonalds nearby. Im interested to go see the place. Jonathan didnt wanna go, and he doesnt wanna give in, so... i ate with Kenny and gang while they headed somewhere else. Was talking to YouGuo, SirLiang about NUSCO. There were so many funny remarks from SirLiang, and soon Kenny realised that we're talking about NUSCO, he joined in the conversation, JiaJin was there too.

Shortly, after lunch, we headed back to the CC. I bought food for ChaiXia, but she didnt seem quite happy... because she wanted just bread. But, she messaged me too late... so, no choice! During the afternoon practice, i was slogging away and wallowing in laziness. The languidness was pulling me into slumber, but i couldnt sleep. I was sitting there, irritating Jonathan as usual and i think he got mad. I told ChaiXia that he failed his harmony and aural horribly in school, then i also told her that Jonathan has been practicing the orchestral pieces very hard. I know, im so evil. Ive realised how terrible i am as a friend. Therefore, i should not be forgiven! Jonathan, im so sorry. Please apologise.

What?

Anyway, after rehearsing, while everybody's packing up, ive to rehearse a quartet piece with FuKang, on the ErHu, YiLeng, on the YangQin and Sharon, on the Piano. Its a pop song, and its written quite nicely. Its rather simple, i just had to browse through and play it once through. So, after highlighting some little details, we packed up and left. Kenny, Louis and ChaiXia all waited for me. Its a hard decision to decide where to go. Kenny, being the most bossy around, is so hard to serve. ChaiXia was tired, so she headed home. In the end, i headed to PlazaSing with Louis and Kenny to catch some Thai movie.

Supposingly some Thai movie, and i think its a rather gay movie, but we ended up watching some other movie. Well, its a rather boring movie. Though its funny, but i think the movie has a very blunt direction. Its direct, and it doesnt have anything for us to think about. Its like a blunt pencil, straight till the supposingly pointed tip, which turned out rather edgeless. The ending was obtuse, i think its always the bad endings which sours the whole movie. Anyway, i had a good time with them, i think.

Was sitting at BK, rotting away while watching them laugh away with their lame jokes. Kenny and Louis were laughing like mad, while i just cant get the atmosphere. I sat there and tried taking a nap. Then after that, i bought some food to smuggle into the cinema. Louis' bag was big enough to even smuggle a dwarf in. Im so poor, Louis had to pay for my tickets, as well as my dinner. Thanks, Louis.

Well, after the movie, i headed back to school to meet up with SiHan and Christoven. QingLun was there too, and he left NAFA without telling me. As usual! So bad. I was in the classroom, listening to Christoven and HuiQi's rehearsal. I gave some pointers and after that, they packed up and left. Christoven, SiHan and i headed to the prata stall... and bought ourselves a drink. SiHan was the only one who ate. I felt so full, i didnt wanna eat then. But now, im slightly hungry.

I took the bus home, and it was a torture. I was sitting on the outside, so i couldnt lean anywhere. I forced myself not to fall asleep, but eventually... i had to. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back and hit it against this Indian man, who was sitting behind me. We were back facing each other. Anyway, after alighting... WeiFeng called.

Im so tired, i can eat a cow. I know its senseless, that'll explain my insanity. I wonder how tomorrow will be.

I just called Jonathan, to make sure that he's alright. Anyway, its his last day working at Gelare tonight. Well, why dun continue? Ur already poor bloke. I dreamt of him last night. Let me describe it, its quite a nightmare... Well, i was angry with him, and so i ran across the road to get away from him. Then, he ran towards him, eagerly apologising... then the dramatic event came, just like every drama show. A car came, and like every reckless driver, they knock people down in shows. Jonathan was knocked down seriously by a car. Then, i quickly ran towards him and scolded him. Im joking, i called the ambulance... then they sent him into the operating theatre. I was sitting outside, with his parents... feeling guilty. Then, they came out, telling us that he is permenantly half paralysed, meaning... he cannot walk for the rest of his life. I felt so bad, and sat beside his bed till he woke up. After realising that he has lost his ability to walk, and having to rely on a wheelchair to move about, he cried immediately and was hard to console him. I felt so bad, i took out a packet of sweets and offered it to him. Then, he stopped his sobbing. Im joking! Well, then... the rest is up to ur imagination. Of course, its a hell lot of drama which i wished i could get off from. But, its rather funny to think about it now. I hope it happens!

Universitarian

The nitpickers, the whiners, the pettifoggers are everywhere. Petty and obsolete.

Ive dreamed about waking up beside u every morning. But only to realise that we've forgotten about each other after dawn. Its rather sad to live through another empty morning... but, though ive thought about that as a life without purpose... i'd figured that i'll hate it, but i'll enjoy it the most. Afterall, its better than nothing.

Today, my whole day revolved around rehearsing at NUS. I woke up earlier, and took a shower before leaving for the MRT station. I took the MRT down to Clementi, and the journey took me... around 45 minutes? Well, was sitting on the MRT, listening to songs... and then there was this couple who came in. Theres this Malay lady who sat 2 seats away from me, and her boyfriend, this really extremely very huge man. He occupied 2 seats opposite me, and he attracted everybody's attention, because he spoke rather loudly too. Then, 2 ladies left, and the seats between the Malay lady and i were emptied... and i thought, im dead meat. The fat man quickly ran for the seats, and he landed beside me. I almost died... Anyway, on my left, theres this other Malay lady, who was reading some sacred text. And then, i saw her lips moving... so i took off my ear piece and realised that she's talking to me. She told me that the fat man didnt bath, because he stinks. So bad right? After saying, she held her daughter's hand and alighted. Well, its pretty wierd, i think its an Islam cabin or something... everybody on the cabin were almost Malay. Nothing racist, just a comment.

I was late, and i walked to meet WanYing and Kenny. Then, we took a bus down to NUS. We took this bus which doesnt have air-con. Goodness, i thought that buses like this dun exist anymore! I figured that they should be extinct, because i havent took a bus without air-con for ages... since those days when we go for excursions to the zoo in primary school. Well, it was so packed, we were squeezing right in the front with the driver. Then, slowly... more people alighted, and thankfully nobody boarded the bus before that.

The CO room aint at some wierd residence area anymore. Last time, its so far that we've to travel all the way like hell to get there. Anyway, now its more convenient. We walked down, and i entered this bricked building. I think its rather nice, its like some cottage. Right...

There is this hall, where they have vending machines. There were tables for gatherings, and i think its really quite comfortable to have rehearsals like that. We used this big studio, while there were many other art groups which used smaller studios to rehearse. The store room is larger than usual, because it also accomodates other art groups, like the Indian instruments and probably others as well. Well, its like a building for the arts. I love it there.

Rehearsal was rather boring. I played, and suddenly, there was a part which i thought i played wrongly, because there was only me! Then, i recalled that i thought this passage before back in AJC, and its a solo part which serves as a dialogue between the solo ErHu and Pipa. It was so embarrassing, because i didnt focus... i just played on like that. Anyway, i hate that part, because it obviously aint going to sound nice on the Pipa. Its written at a very high range, and moreover its in a key which doesnt quite favours the Pipa.

I was practicing and running through the hard parts of the scores, then suddenly, when i looked up, LumYanSing waving to me and i hastily waved back. He is a very friend looking conductor, who was previously the assistant conductor of SCO, now as a the resident conductor of NUSCO. For this upcoming concert, he'll be playing a famous ErHu solo piece, with the accompanying orchestra, 'LanHuaHua'. Well, its the first time ive heard him play. He is usually busy conducting, and not much of a performer, though with rich background of his performance experience was well as being the concertmaster of SCO a decade ago. It was fun going through the pieces with them. I think that people at NUS are generally different... What do u think?

During break, they brought out food and they gathered outside the studio to have some kinda fellowship. I think its a very good kind of activity which helps in bonding the CO. This is how it should be for orchestras outside. I think they should learn from NUSCO. Anyway, its my first practice, i havent seen much though. Soon, there'll be more to come.

After the whole rehearsal, YiLeng has to go through another piece, and so... Kenny and i headed for dinner first. WangTianDe called me, and discussed about the Pipa. Well, i'll be going China anyway... so, i thought that i'll decide only after coming back from China, because i'll be looking at other Pipas as well anyway. YanYu will be there to help me too. Thanks so much to him for the concern!

We ate at a coffeeshop, and after that... we both went with our own ways. I took bus 166 home. The journey took away my life. Im joking, but i bet u wished it did. I slept for the whole journey, imagine. My hair was like stuck to the window, and my neck almost broke off.

Now im home, im so extremely bored. Think about it, the whole day wasted at NUS. Anyway, this will go on till March... i think. Im going to skip some practices, and only go for the harder ones and those which are nearer to the concert. Probably during Febuary...

Unforseen Repetition

We're living in the time of the parenthesis, a great and yeasty time.

Many things happened, which doesnt quite link together properly. Well, in the morning, i had lesson with YanYu. It was tiring! I had to keep jamming on the Pipa, while she's still shouting for more. Then, i broke down and started sweating pee. She taught me certain techniques on practicing, and she even told me that ive improved in terms of practicing. She said that she could tell that i did practiced. Well, i did! Though its for just a few hours, i did practice still. She said that last time, she could tell that i dun practice much and she'll get somehow 'angry', but now... its a hell lot better. I think thats quite true, amen to that. I mean, no amen, but... yes. So, it was a happy lesson.

Mom fetched me for lesson, and headed to Malaysia to fill the tank, then back to fetch me to school. Well, YanYu gave me some suggestions for the plans that i'll be making during holidays. Im going to China, i think. And well, she told me that she'll fly there during April or something to help me select a Pipa. How sweet! Anyway, uncertain plans shouldnt be announced yet. I'll stop here then.

I had to perform today. I played a rather simple piece, though challenging as mentioned yesterday. I think i played horrible, but its rather obvious what went wrong. Then, DongXiao's piece was totally torn apart by the 2 different tempos of the ErHu, and the accompanying Piano. KaiXiang's performance was good. In fact, i think its rather perfect in a way. Though, i feel that its rather like a pop song, not traditional enough. Then, Dedric started honking on his Suona. Seriously, it sounded like a car honking in different pitches. Well, after class... Jonathan and i started getting naughty. We were fooling around... and due to the distraction, i forgot about things that im doing. And well, with Dedric's warning... and the pull of gravity, history repeated itself. Terrible, WeiKang. Terrible.

I headed for composition class, with incomplete work. I couldnt bother, because i cannot focus on anything by then. I dun wish to mention what happened, but well... its fucking terrible. I hate myself. I seriously should just kill myself. Anyway, during composition tutorial, DrGoh went through our modal compositions, and Fairul's composition sounded very nice. A lot of potential there, dude. Then, there were several pentatonic rubbish!

Headed to KunRui's house with Christoven and Dedric. Well, i dun wish to say anything from here on...

After spending an hour or so, we left. Christoven told SiHan about the trip to KunRui's house. Christoven wanted to see how its like, and so now he does... he thinks that its rather cool. Well, its like that. We stopped at this cafe and had lunch. Well, the food tasted fine, and the price aint very expensive either. We sat there, watching lame Chinese movies, which featured the StreetFighters, and i tell u... its horribly lame. Anyway, then we just got stuck with it... and took some time to get ourselves up to pay the bill.

Dedric wanted to go home, so he flagged his cab and left. Christoven and i decided to meet SiHan at Cathay, and we'll catch a movie. We took a cab to Cathay, because Christoven doesnt wanna take the bus.

We shopped, and saw many pretty items in pretty shops. And yes, there was this underwear which has this little belt. So... gay. Then, we saw this vintage case, and it looked so pretty! I asked the cashier whether its for sale, and sadly... its not. The whole shop looked rather vintage in nature, but they're actually just selling stationery items. All the pretty furnitures and vintage items are actually... not for sale. Whats the point! Stupid... There was this other shop, which has their sales person greeting us... hello sexy. Right... Anyway, the slogan says that saving is like so eighties. Good way to encourage people to spend money right? Right...

We watched MelGibson's movie. Well, from the starting till the end, there are no rest bars. Imagine, its all filled with thrill that'll blow u from head to the toe. Its actually an onslaught of jarring images that'll penetrate into ur brain and shock ur senses, embedding themselves into ur memory as a malefice. Malicious, cruel and splendid torturing scenes. I think the whole movie is a must watch, though i'll never wanna watch it again. The mental torture is just too much for me, psychologically affected too. Its human at the most primitive stage, savage beings and crude behaviours. In fact, i think that our world now evolved little from the primitive forms of life. Everything resembled similar notions, ideas and concepts of our world today. Its a movie that'll carry u with its pulsating rhythm. Be ready to be blown away, sit tight and buckle up, its a ride back to primitivity.

After the movie, we were all rather disturbed. We ate at BillyBombers, and the potato salad looked like some intestine to Christoven. As for me, i was so tensed up throughout the movie. The first killing took place in the jungle, and they killed this wild boar, or was a tapir. Anyway, the killing was already a slight blow for me, and its rather intensed already. The whole movie progressed very quickly, and it intensifies as it gets further. Its only till the end, which will eventually subside... and allow some time for us to breath. I was breathing very hard, and panting away. Its really breath taking... and my hand were massaging my head while torturing my eyes to watch those gross images. Theres nudity involved too, and i think u wont wanna count on that... because its not that attractive... they're all ugly and old woman. Anyway, someone in the movie ate the tapir's balls. Heavenly!

Yes, back to BillyBombers... We ate for $36, and paid. We were so full! We ordered half a chicken, and 2 creamed spinach, and there was cheese fries too. Not forgetting the potato salad, which was a side dish for the chicken.

Intended to go home, but in the end... we ended up at FortCanning. On our way, we met Laurel, Jeremy, Jane and Grace. We wanted to drag them along, but they were on the opposite side of the road. We talked, and did silly things... then we left. Its so warm, but Christoven insisted that we should go FortCanning. Its his first time there, can u believe it? And well... its actually quite beautiful there at night, but the weather just aint right. If its snowing, it'll be the best place to go. We searched the guide, and found the tomb. I dunno whose it belongs to, but its definitely a Malay. Anyway, we took some pictures and then we headed down.

I just took the bus back, and i overslept again. I felt somebody tapping my shoulder, and when i opened my eyes, its this Indian driver. I was so shocked, and i quickly alighted and ran home. Anyway, i think those people on the bus are so evil. Why dun they wake me up? I hate them!

Well, i just bathed... and im heading to sleep soon, because i'll have rehearsal tomorrow with NUSCO. Great day ahead, i hope. Anyway, today there was a performance at Esplanade, featuring SongFei, an ErHu virtuoso, premiuring a modern piece with SSO. Well, its a pity that i couldnt attend. QingLun was selling the tickets, and i wanted to get it... but then... i had some other plans... due to unforseen circumstances.