The Obscured Scream

Listen out , to the voice within , for that its the real u that is trying to fight the act ur putting up . So , trust the voice within ... and it'll guide ur way .

Came home from school by bus with Sebestian , Marcus and Fhairil . In the bus , we were singing stupid songs ... and making it sound really funny . Well , had fun .

Went to school for lecture . During the lecture , i drew a few tricky pictures ... which looked both like a rabbit and a duck , and another was an alien facing different directions . U can imagine how bored or lost i am . After that , i went up to level 6 and looked for ... some company for lunch . Then this year 2 girl told me that somebody in school likes me , but its someone i dunno . Then i think its somebody under another department , meaning ... not music student . Then she kept saying im very pretty , because i got my hairband on .

Went to eat with Samuel , LeeTung , Mark , Lynn and SiHan . Ate some noodles , it wasnt that bad , and bitched about somebody . Her story is really interesting , till now . Its quite a legend , and its impossible to forget . We even came up with several case studies ... Well , SiHan told us the story ... and some from Samuel , and i knew abit too ... And after putting everything together , its the same old conclusion . Well , this poor soul has left school for good . Im not sure what the reason is ... but i know , its definitely not how she told others . Im not very sure , but the impression she gave me was that she's taking advantage of others with her illness . I dun think that is kinda ... healthy . Everyone agrees ... We also talked about phobias . Im afraid of balls ... and its weird ... i know . So , i told them what happened last time .

Went to some shop with Mark and SiHan . SiHan bought this dessert ... and it looked ... freaky . Mark went to tailor his pants , because it wont fit . So the lady asked him to do some sit-ups ... how dumb can that be ? Then she is charging Mark extra for fixing the problem . The problem lies in their pants , so just change one more ... i dun see a need to pay more to get it done . Well , its really dumb . SiHan and i were looking at the sweater , and we were trying them on . So , i bought one ...

Then after that ... we went back to school . SiHan went for class ... and there wasnt anybody around . So i went to play the Piano for a while ... then i headed down to the lounge to get some sleep . Who knows ... the access-course people were all there . After bringing them down there ... it seems that they've taken over that place . Well , i couldnt sleep ... so Sebestian and i played this game , and he lost . After they left , Laurel went on practicing his Trombone . For me , i went to dreamland .

Evan gave me a call , and wanted me to go buy muffins with her . So i went up ... then , i didnt feel like eating ... because of my bloody ulcers . So , she went with May . I went to disturb Andy by playing the Piano . Then i dunno ... he was like crying ... or sleeping ...

I was so freaking bored ... so i thought maybe i would go Bugis for a walk alone . So , before i even did ... Fhairil came , and just in time ... because i was about to ask him where he was . Well , there he is ... so we went Esplanade to do his work . We walked there ... On the way , we dropped by BrasBasah , and u know what'll happen there . I bought 2 CDs ... really good ones . Then we walked to Esplanade ...

He looked for his scores , while ive forgotten to bring my work ... sadly ... and so , i listened to my CDs . Then i went around walking ... saw this collectables , which were so expensive but yet interesting . If im a rich kid ... like those ACS bastards , maybe i would have a chance to collect such nonsense . Well , too bad , or fortunately , im not . But , i do collect CDs ... at least they're useful ... nevermind ... Then , read some magazines ... Aaron was there , looking for some scores for his orchestration . After Fhairil was done , we headed to eat at MakanSutra . The food there was expensive , but kinda good ... afterall they're all the award winning stalls . After eating ... we headed back to school ... because Fhairil left something in school .

Went to the percussion studio , then Sebestian was practicing . Not long after , Marcus came in . Fhairil and i were singing and playing around , actually i played most . Then Fhairil listened to Beethoven's Symphony ... Sang like crazy , really high notes ... and now my voice is like ... sore . Parched and thirsty ... i needed a drink ... but there wasnt any around ... so we went on . After leaving school ... we still were singing .

In the bus , we continued singing ... till Fhairil left . Then i alighted a few stops later ...

More little events , compared to yesterday's . But still its somehow kinda boring ... Tomorrow will be extra tiring ... because at night , i'll have to go for this rehearsal . Till now , i havent heard any fixed number of tickets from anybody . So ... im gonna have to ask around again . Well ... im tired ...

My voice within is screaming ... and cursing ...

Sweet Yet Sour

No wonder i felt that something wasnt right . I havent told u how i got home yesterday ... I came home by bus , and i overslept , thus ... i have to walk really far . I was so tired ... and the weather was so humid and warm . So i thought i could take a bus from another bus-stop . Before i got there , the bus left ... and worst still ... i waited for so long , so i thought maybe that the last bus left already . So , i walked away ... only to realise that the bus was behind , so i ran back ... then the driver didnt wanna stop because its like a few head infront of the bus-stop . I was ... pissed ...

Nevermind , today i woke up late . So , i went to school by cab . At first , i thought maybe i'll give it a miss ... because i was really tired . But today there'll be a choir test , and if i dun turn up ... it might leave an impression as if i did it deliberately to escape the test . And so , i wasnt late . The test was fine ... DrGoh was in a good mood till we sang him the birthday song . It was his birthday ... dunno whether its today or maybe yesterday or before . So ... we sang and he didnt seem quite happy . How to cheer him up ? Well , ive no idea ... like i dunno how somebody can cheer me up when im down . Today im not feeling quite well also ... so many asked whether im fine ... well i am , thanks .

After ensemble , we went to MOS Burger in Bugis . TingTing , Vicky , QiaoFang , Dedric , QingLun and Andy was there ... WeiHong , Jason and i made our way there . Then TingTing and QiaoFang went off first to play at the arcade . Then i thought what they might play ... so after we ate , we went down to take a look . They were playing photohunt , and TingTing was high . After we got second , beating down the high scores , TingTing wrote our names inside and she was so happy , cheering about and shouting ... Dedric and i was ... like ... weird ...

Played with Richard , Andy and gang ... then Richard wasnt in quite a good mood . So i guess ... the games must have made him even pissed , i dunno how ... i just feel sorry .

Anyway , was back in school later . The rest went for SYCO , so i stayed in the room teaching and practicing with Anthea . Heard SiHan play his Cello piece , with YiKai . Then Anthea improved slightly today ... not bad ...

Forget to say that choir practice was fun . The test was nice ... and i think the first group was really good , the sound ... the tone ... and everybody was in tune , so they all harmonised really well , except for the Soprano high note part . Well , then some individuals just couldnt sing . Others didnt memorise their scores ... so ... its all weird . Williana sang the solo part on stage alone with Jennifer after practice , and she sang her own rendition really well ! But i think she has to improve on her diction ... and her solo part . Its kinda too pop-like ... or not suitable for this kinda gospel songs .

I just soaked my shoes in some hot water ... and i hope it'll be fine tomorrow . Just now in the studio , Fhairil and i played some silly old songs ... on the Piano . Ivan played well today for choir ... he was the Pianist .

Sweet and sour , not pork ... but , love .

Play Dead

Irritating , really irritating . Thats it , im gonna be a bitch ... and start bitching ...

Had a war in the arena . The kitchen is a small place , but ive no choice ... i cannot let the assassin escape from my clutches . Since it got itself here ... to its death , i shall do the favour of ending its little life . My enemy stood in the dark , without my knowledge of its existence . I turned the lights on , and i saw its features ... and its ugly . It wasnt armed , but only with a pair of evil wings . I armed myself with a deadly poisonous weapon and prepared my moves . Finally , as u can see ... im blogging now ... so im alive . I left it dead in the arena ... in a pool of insecticide .

Saw so many cockroaches today . An omen ?

Saw this one playing dead downstairs ... this idiotic cockroach . I think the problem with this kinda thing is that ... some idiotic creature should just play dead , and some should just really die , dun play it .

Went for practice in the morning , couldnt wake up for the meeting and i know Mike will be pissed . And worst , i didnt go apologise because i felt kinda weird if i were to . I dunno what i was doing ... but nevermind its done , and it cannot be undone . So , practiced for very long ... Today , im kinda moody because of my painful ulcer , its acting up again ... now , its better . It hurt so badly ... i couldnt eat much , so i ate this fish porridge ... it was kinda nice . Anyway , then somebody mentioned about some IC pictures ... then it reminded me of Jasmine's ... so i laughed .

Practice was tedious , and intense . Went through the pieces , and i couldnt play well because it was freezing cold , though i already have a sweater on . My hands were kinda numb , and i cannot run fast enough ... everything was kinda stiff . But , nevermind ... must get used to all this kinda environment , because its unpredictable how the environment will be like on stages i will perform on in the future .

Went to Bugis with Patrick and gang , YongRui taged along . Then we went to the arcade ... and surprisingly , we met Stanley there . He is now working there ... Patrick and ChaiXia played this game which cost $2 per person , and its rather cool . But , i didnt wanna waste my money ... so i didnt play , i watched . Anyway ... saw this guy playing this game ... and he was really drama ... He was cursing ... and he was slaming and clapping around ... that is weird . YongRui saw it too ...

Ate at the foodcourt , and i ordered curry fish . Then YongRui kept taking my curry ... until it was left with so little ... and he told me that ... hes helping me with my ulcer . ChaiXia ordered this really not worth it thing . Patrick ordered the most worth it ... some really nice chicken and rice . Well ... i drank alot and stole ChaiXia's ice . Patrick paid for the drinks , and so thankful .

Well another one goes ... to SiHan . Thanks for alighting me at the bus-stop ... and i dunno what to say ... im so ... touched ...

Brought Patrick and gang to NAFA ... then they played the Piano . Patrick played the Piano ... and its really funny . Then i went to the computer lab to touch up on the Suona piece i arranged .

Andy just sent me his report ... and its quite good .

Anyway , today's practice is really dumb . The same mistakes and same people ... with the same problems . James was ... making the mistakes over and over again , the Timpani couldnt come in in time . Well , then too bad ... had to keep going on .

I think the same group of people from the same primary school are so similar . Jonathan ... or be it Tillabong ... or me and the ACS bastards . Well , Jonathan asked me what to do for the NAFA audition . Look , i told u before , u ignored my advice and now u say that u didnt know about it ... and now when u need help u come look for me . Like ... what the fuck ? If u really need help , come with a sincere heart , be nice and ask with some manners . Well i cant be bothered ... because it doesnt involve me . Thats it , go play dead , animals .

Exposition

Just watched a Chinese movie in the living room while waiting for my cousin to finish his game . Then i sent Dedric the re-arrangement of the Suona solo that he requested . WeiHong is going to play it ... and ive already got it almost half done . Then , JinShiYi wants to see the arrangement also . Dedric said that he might like it ... well , im not very sure about that .

I woke up late today . And nowadays , my waking up time is around 10am , unlike the past when it used to be around 12pm . Maybe its because of the time i wake up everyday ... so im used to it already , great . I woke up , touched up on the StringQuartet i composed , and now its done . Then played some silly games ... then went to school around 5pm . Samuel was at some workshop , so he wasnt free . YongRui was outside ... and so , SiHan was the only one available . He came down to school after his orchestral practice . So , i stayed in school , played games , arranged the Suona piece and played some Piano . Then i asked Sebestian out for dinner ... then we took a bus home .

Today was a short day , nothing much happened . Usually within in an hour , many things would have gone wrong . But today , everything just went like ... sluggish . Nothing went wrong , nothing went on . My ulcer is healing ... and now it feels better .

Called Danial out , but he wasnt free . Guess its the wrong time ... well , wonder when i will be free again to go out . Next Friday is the concert , and i think many people are gonna attend , but not so much from NAFA . Im trying to reach out to those people ive met in the MOE camps , maybe they can help sell some tickets too . Ive already asked YeePeng , the YangQin girl , and Alvin , the Pipa guy , not the one in CSCO , and ive asked Harry too . Andy helping me ask the access-course people ... Harry asked me to change my display picture , another one ... how many already ?

Anyway , forget about CSCO . Its not that ive not done anything for the orchestra . Im too busy with my own , i can only hope myself to finish my own duties . Well , recieved many mails . I think Mike is very pissed with the members , because none of them seem to have done anything . Let me think ... what have i done ... ? Ive sent mails , tried to chase for money , which cannot be done by myself alone . Ive also ... arranged scores for CSCO ... and made deals with outside performances . Managing a group of unmanagable people , is tough enough , because people dun like to co-operate with me . Maybe MiYan should talk to them , because im a pain in the ass . Well , replied the mail , and asked the Pipa group already ... still some couldnt give me a fixed answer .

Just like the Chinese movie i just watched in the living room ... its something like ur modern Chinese martial art films . Well , who enjoys this kinda movies ? Like the latest one by Jet , the one and only last one . Yes , who enjoyed it ? I guess many did ... Chinese music is progressing like the Chinese films . See how the inserted Western and dramatic elements into its films ? Now , try and recall ... those really old martial art films . Remember them ? Are they nice ? Well , some are ... and some arent . Like Chinese music , it has a drastic and big difference . So , Chinese music has also developed into something more Westernised . It has both elements , and it has its own Eastern elements inside . Thus , Chinese music isnt what uve heard in NAFA ... i think the big and wide perspective of Chinese music ... has been narrowed into this shallow thinking , thanks to the Chinese ensemble . It plays this kinda old pieces ... which made the already bad impression of Chinese music in the people's mind worst . Well , i kept saying this ... because the truth is there , people still think that Chinese music is like this and that . Well , its not , and thats the reason why ... i chose Chinese music and not Western . Chinese can be cool too , thats all ... folks .

Come out of the well , or start digging deeper for ur grave . Its time to go under the sun and recieve some burning ... because , hiding in the well wont help .

Ive said enough , and ive spoke the truth . Its time for me to know ... that what i preached was what i really meant . Im going to go read up on all my previous posts ... to recapitulate on what ive done and said before .

Today's post is an exposition , its an account that sets forth the meaning or intent of my discourse . The development will come ... and thus the recapitulation . The posts in between are all the different episodes which gives space to development ... Or maybe its already the recapitulation , because ive repeated this dunno how many times already . Or maybe ... ive not yet even modulated anywhere ... because the first subject , which is this , has not even been knocked into the senses of the readers . Well , hit it hard , and it'll bite .

Slow Ride Home

Blogging now in school ... because ive got nothing better to do . SiHan is sitting with me in the computer lab , without the lights on , and he's reading some forum about MapleStory ... i know its dumb , dun blame him . YongRui went home because he thought that SiHan went home already , but who knows ... he was in the computer lab alone without the lights on . I was having a stomachache , so ... i spent quite a while in the toilet just now .

Today was a bad day ... ? Because ive these few very bad ulcers . They are baleful and irritating ... Now , i cant even talk properly . Was late for class ... and Yohanna isnt in a good mood today . When i entered the class , she was scolding some people ... or should i say , just checking whether anybody had done their homework , and as usual ... nobody did , or only some did . So , she asked me to do a question ... then i told her i didnt do , because i wasnt in class last week . And though i know its my responsibility to ask around for the homework , but ... honestly , who would be even reminded of their homeworks ? I didnt ... i didnt thought about it , until class . So , she didnt scold me ... but i knew that she wasnt very glad . Class was bad ... and it went on like life does ...

After that ... i practiced awhile , then i met MrYeo and DrGoh . DrGoh was saying that YuJia could have played something else during the concert last week , and he said that he enjoyed the YangQin's pieces the most . And then i interupted and agreed with what he said ... then he mocked at me ... and said that i wasnt even there . Come on , im a nice boy ... im joking ... I attended every concert , unless im ill . I dun wanna repeat history ... So , i told MrYeo that DrTan is bringing us out again ... so i'll have to leave earlier during the performance class . And he allowed me ... so , i was relieved .

Performance class was fine , i didnt perform . I left earlier ... and met them in the bus . The other time , we missed the bus ... and we had to take a horrible cab ride , and run in the rain . Surprisingly , it rained today also . The museum was the same old one ... and the guide was this Malaysian lady . Its surprising that these people work as a volunteer in the museum , and they dun collect any tips . Very nice and sporting people , arent they ? So , our guide was very strict , she somehow told LuHeng off for taping down the things she was saying ... because its not allowed . Then she taught us how to ... do proper research , and somehow blamed DrTan for not informing us earlier . The other group had this very sporting and nice funny guide , and i told DrTan that ... then DrTan agreed ... and she also agreed that our guide is very strict ... so funny ... and she gave me a sign not to tell anybody that she said that . Anyway , the exhibition was interesting . We saw many old stuff ... and very nice jewelleries ... Then , i learned that its free enterance for NAFA students . So , maybe i'll go there again ... when im free ...

Before the trip , had lunch with Samuel , Fairul and Sebestian at SimLim . It was fine ... i ate quite alot . Then Sebestian kept telling me that i eat alot ... well , i dun usually eat that much . When i came back to the seat with my food , saw Fairul talking to this Malay girl , then i thought that she was his friend , because they were talking so ... closely ... like as if they are friends . She was actually selling this product ... it was weird . I poured the melted ice onto the floor ... its all the water stuff ... then Fairul told me not to . So i asked where should i do it ... then he told me to pour it on the table , its totally senseless . Anyway , i did ... and the water flowed around ... across the table ... and down to the floor ... Smart , aint he ?

I went for DrKan's tutorial earlier today , because i thought i have to perform for Sharon's piece later . But who knows ... today i went there , and there wasnt enough time to perform everybody's piece . It is now postponed to next Wednesday ... The compositions i heard today sounded almost ... identical . They have this very common structure . Others , like Ivan's are easy to remember , because its different . Some others sounded like very modern love songs ... I liked the piece that Williana sang , because it has this huge dramatic value . Williana not only sung , she had to scream and curse . It was ... terribly ... good .

Had dinner just now with SiHan , YongRui and Noozli . Before that , Jeremy and gang went home ... so i stayed around and played the Piano , then the computer . Sebestian stayed with me , because he has to practice later . Well ... think its time to go home , because i feel terrible with those awful ulcers .

Jeremy asked me why was i so sad , or still am . Well , im not ... just feeling moody because of the dumb ulcers . Hope they'll go away soon ...

My eyes are hurting ... because the lights arent on .

Anyway , then Sebestian asked how do i find him as a person . Well , i couldnt talk ... so i played the Piano as a reply . It sounded ... weird isnt it ? Then , just take it as how it sounded .

SiHan is still reading those forums . And my blog song didnt seem to disturb him abit , or distract him away from his stupid forum . Well , thats it . Going home now ... taking a bus ... a long slow ride home . Its a long way ... and it still is ...

Am i there yet ?

Play It

Well , just came home by bus with Sebestian , and i think he should be reading this when he gets home . I mentioned to him that i blogged about him , so now maybe i shall blog more about this freaky guy .

Had class in the morning . Karen was nice and funny ... then i kinda understood the things she said . Then , after that ... had lunch with SiHan , after his rehearsal with his composer . Anyway , couldnt buy the webcam today ... because i had not enough money , well ... we're going to buy tomorrow night . Going down to Orchard tomorrow ... anyone wanna come along ? While eating ... we were bitching as usual . Mark , Samuel , LeeTung and SiHan ... i wasnt involved ! Im joking ... well , its all the usual funny stuffs . After that ... everybody rushed for their own practices . I went to level 6 and saw many people ... preparing themselves for audition . Wonder when i will see Raymond ? Today there was this Pipa girl ... YeoYee's friend , she came for the audition ... Well , i dunno what ... but we just didnt have this connection at all ... kinda felt cold .

Played at the computer lab ... with SiHan and again , i lost ... Practiced with Sharon , Gabriel and LiYang . We had to rehearse at the empty space outside the stairway . It was ... warm and i sat beside this really smelly dustbin . LiYang also smelt that horrible pungent aroma ... right ... and i couldnt take it . Sharon conducted the piece ... and thus it sounded better . Before that , we were in the percussion studio . Then , the other year 2 MOE teachers were all talking to me ... and asking me to play something because , i dunno where they heard from , that im very good . Maybe not , but good to work with ... because i can generate ideas , and at least i know how to improvise . I hate it when the performer just plays deadly according to the scores . Well , so i played something ... then this girl asked me whether i know Thomas and ShunHong . Please , who wouldnt ? They were my seniors ... or just some people a year or two older than me . Then she said that they were flirts , well ... i can tell ... Well , some people just wouldnt know how good or bad they are ... and yet they think they rule the world . Some people would just think that they know more things ... and they wouldnt need to study in NAFA to know everything that we've studied . Well ... maybe thats the case , but ... thanks , no need for the show-off sessions right ? ACS bastards are like that ... Im speechless , or ive already said enough ... ?

Sharon's piece was just in time , 3 min long . And , i had a hard time playing the last few bars ... because its all the artificial harmonics and the high notes ... in short time values ... and coming in at unaccented beats and ... offbeats . Well , i think she might score pretty well .

Went to slack at the lounge . Didnt know the access-course people were all there ... i brought Andy there to do his theory . Again , he went crazy . But then , before that ... some people went home ... like Melissa , Jeremy and gang . Well , then i taught Andy . Fairul came and said that i cant teach and stuff ... but in the end , Andy did very well . So , im a good teacher ! Then , since Andy knows how to do already ... so i helped him do abit of his work to save the time ... so i could help him with more of his other parts .

Then ate with Sebestian and Richard after they practiced . Poor boys are so stressed about their principal studies with Angeline . Well , she is fierce right ? Im not very sure ... But , i think thats good isnt it ? Then Richard went home first ... because he has to eat at home . So i ate with Andy and Sebestian . Now , time to bitch about Sebestian . Well , he's another Jovan or Noozli case ... a punky kid with yet a different soul inside . Just a facade of his appearance , he's a little ... nice guy inside . I bullied him just now while playing games . Then this other people in the computer lab started saying that im cute ... because i made so much noise and i was wearing my hairband for awhile because my hair was hanging down .

Now my MSN has this Ju-On picture , and it freaked many people out before . I havent blogged about this before ... because i couldnt remember to . Well , this freaky pictures i got , has freaked many people out , and people like Audrey had to close my display picture to talk to me . Some yelled ... and some complained . Then now , Breno scolded me ... and asked me to change my picture . I dun get it ... it looks fine to me ... Anyway , finally ... i know how Breno looks like . He looks decent ...

Felt so bad for pulling Sebestian back to play games with me . He has principal study tomorrow ... and sadly , i dun think he practiced enough . So he wanted to go home early ... and have a good night sleep , but i pulled him back ... and i taught him and Andy some aural hearing . Well , they cant hear ... and its fine , Sebestian could hear a little , Andy needs some help .

So thats it , and dun be afraid of playing on stage . Like i heard from some today that they are afriad to play on stage , because they will feel the stress ... and if they play a wrong note , thats it . Well , for me ... nobody can play like i do , so i play how i play . So Sebestian , only u can play like urself , so just play it .

Recieved mails from Gary and Mike . Well , obviously its all about administrative stuff again . Im too busy with Dad's stuff ... i dun think ive much time to do anything for the orchestra now . Ive done quite alot already ... writing pieces , calling people up , checking money , giving out scores , sending emails , publicising the concert and even playing for little performances . Well , but i know its insignificant , but its little efforts that ive put in . This Sunday , everybody has to write a list of things that they've done for the orchestra and show Mike . Well , i think he doubt the committment of the committee members . But if thats the case ... i really dunno what to show him . I'll admit that ive been doing it ... not whole heartedly , but with a sense of duty .

Empty Promises

Its time for the truth to shadow over . Think about it ...

So much for the empty promises ...

Had the busiest day of the week , and i know every week im repeating this statement . Well , but thats the truth ... and nothing but the truth . Today , sightsinging was cancelled because they were having composition exams , so i werent that busy . But , today ... the symphonic wind band had this concert at 8pm . So , we stayed till ... rather late .

In the morning , Andy called me ... and he wanted to sit in for our history lecture . And like he was told , he wouldnt understand a thing if he were to come , and i dun think he did understand anything . So , i went to tell DrKan ... and surprising ... she knows that Andy is Albert's brother . Well , she knows everything ... she's omniscient . History lecture was tough , and analysis was even tougher . Today , we went through some lesser known composers in the Classical era . Such composers are like ... Hummel , Cussel and MichealHaydn , who is JosephHaydn's younger brother ... and he was a drunkard in the past ... thus resulting in some rather terrible fate ... i dunno . Anyway , we did fugal analysis ... and it was ... freaking crazy .

Before class , there was many people at level 6 . They were the people who came for audition to get into NAFA . And there was YeoYee's friend , who plays the Pipa ... and she scored for a grade 9 exam last year . Great , now there's more Pipa players ... so exciting . Anyway , Fairul ignored me today ... because i was wearing a hairband in school . Many said that i looked like a girl ... and it was so funny ...

Played computer games with Christoven , and he won me all the time . After that , met Tommy . Audrey brought him here to watch the concert later . Then , Tommy brought his friend along too , who is ... William , and he comes from Taiwan . Anyway , then Tommy was so funny ... made us laugh with his ... weird expressions and ... weird ... dunno whateva . Tommy played the Piano for me to hear ... and its good .

The concert was ... boring . But there were a few songs which are nice ... like some of the pieces involving the Sopranos ... and the dance suites , the last song conducted by Daniel also not bad . The rest , were ... really either boring ... or really not nice . The SpringOverture was , screwed up . Saw DrGoh playing ... and screaming after the concert , really a funny sight . Before this concert , there was the music platform . There were many soloists and many pieces ... the platform took us a lot of time . LiuSha played really well ... i think her piece is really nice . Then TingTing also played well . The Chinese music ... has a very wide repertoire , and it has many different types of genres too . And those that we hear in NAFA ... isnt the type that i like ... and isnt the type that i'll be performing this March .

Asked around , and seems like ... nobody is interested in my coming concert .

After the concert , went upstairs with the access-course people , then Jeremy practiced abit , then i played the Piano like shit . It was funny ...

Then i went to eat with Samuel and gang instead of Jeremy and gang . Well , afterall ... i dun think mixing too much with the freshies are good , because ... i dunno ... its just weird , but they're really funny people . We headed to the place where XueMin almost got raped by his uncle ... then we ate there . While crossing the road ... suddenly there was this motor sound , and then Samuel reacted fast with a shout , then the next thing we knew ... everyone was running across and shouting . Then ... everybody who was on the other side of the road ... infront of us ... in the coffeeshop was ... looking at us . SiHan joined us later ...

In the bus , i lent Fhairil to copy my music into his computer . Well , Fhairil's brother looks different from him . Fhairil is has a lighter skin colour ...

Ivan forgot to take back his ear piece ... Will return him tomorrow .

Well , thats it for today . Really tired ... just had a chat with Danial , and now im shagged . And remember , i'll do it first , Danial .

Tears In Heaven

Something is bothering me , and maybe its because im falling in love . Just quoting from a phrase in Jeremy's song book ...

The prodigal shall face the music , and when there's no money in his wallet , he shall learn to live by hand to mouth ...

Had lecture in the morning . Karen was going through some worksheet ... and i didnt understand almost everything . I think i irritated somebody ... or isit somebody just has this attitude problem that i always neglected . Well , then SiHan tried to help me solve my Dad's ring . Nobody succeeded till now ... and for me , i tried too ... and i almost got it . I somehow got the pattern there already ... it'll take time before its done , very soon .

After class , i went to eat at KFC again . Now , with more people ... mostly the Brass players . I used the coupons , and its thus cheaper . Had a sinful meal there ... and i ordered no breast , because ... its horrible . Just like this lady in the bus just now , she was covering up her chest . And i repeat , chest , not breast . I wasnt staring at her ... and even if i did , its because she doesnt have any breast ... so ... dun mind me . Anyway , before that ... yesterday , i ate with others at SimLim . There , we were all watching this Olympics ... and it was wasting my time , because everybody was first .

Im listening to Sissel , then my cousin's watching the TV ... and the sound clashes with my music ... so , i turned it off .

Anyway , i went to play LAN with QingLun , Andy , Richard , WeiHong and Jason . I didnt go there willingly , because i knew i had no money . But , since QingLun had this persuading face ... i had no choice ... im joking . The games were fun ... and i came in top for all the rounds , except one when i used Techie . Well ... then we played CounterStrike , which is ... like a horrible game . Then , i lost track of time ... i suddenly remembered that ive to go rehearse with LiYang for Sharon's piece . So , i left first ... felt kinda bad .

LiYang wasnt ready , fortunately . So , i asked her to take a rest first ... and have dinner before we rehearse . And around 7pm or so , i went through the piece with her . She was so stressed ... because she has so many pieces to sing , and even tomorrow's platform . She even got scolded from NancyYuen because she had no time to practice her own pieces . Well ... she is popular . LiYang is very nice ... unlike some others who have this very ugly face , meaning ... cold and unfriendly . Well ... she managed to catch most of her notes now ... and i think on Friday , it'll be fine .

Sharon asking me now whether im blogging about her piece . Well , not really ...

The access-course people all went home early . Before that , Audrey came into our room ... and she was crying . She said that Angela bullied her ... well , its kinda silly and funny . Anyway , managed to hear Jeremy sing during his presentation , and it was ... funny . Other than that , heard Sebestian sing ... the whole day , with his different renditions of ... some Chinese pop songs . He thinks hes some kinda superstar ... very funny . Well , nice people in the access-course .

Fhairil said that he's been listening to Buddhist music . Well , i love it too . I look at it as a form of art , not as a form of religion ... or some devil's way of getting us out of the circle . Well ... anyway im out already ... so no harm isnt it ?

Would u know my name , if i saw u in heaven ? Would it all be the same ... ? Would u hold my hand and help me stand , if i saw u in heaven ? I must be strong and carry on , because i know i dun belong here in heaven . I'll find my way through night and day because i know i dun belong here in heaven . Well , beyond the door , there's peace im sure ... and i know there'll be no more tears in heaven .

Solitude

Listening to Vienna Boy's Choir , and its really good . Young boys singing ... well , sounds like heaven .

Anyway , today was fun . Had choir with DrGoh ... and he was in a really good mood . Though the Altos didnt perform quite well , he didnt flare . Well , who would like to see him get angry ? Nobody . We were marching on the spot while singing ... and had fun laughing at his jokes . Williana sang the solo part , instead of the Tenors , whom obviously cannot sing that part properly . WeiDa has a huge voice ... thus , there isnt much choice left ... but to pass it to someone else . So , today's choir was fun . Went through the pieces , and there'll be a test next week . RenQuan was very bad , he started scolding me all the bad words that Jovan taught him ... maybe i also taught him some . Anyway , Edric has this ear ring that symbolises a sperm , he said that its meant to help increase his sperm count . Well ... right ...

After choir , had ensemble with MrYeo . He was funny ... we were laughing at silly things . Anyway , went through some scores ... and im told to play the Pipa pieces next time . I wore the ring on my toe , with my toe socks . Anthea bought the same one ... so i wore it on my toe instead . Kinda revolutionary ... ? I think it looked disgusting ... but i didnt care .

Had practice with LiYang and Gabrial in the percussion studio . Well , it was kinda messy ... indeed , hell messy . Nobody knew their parts well ... and i just followed the rhythm , which is the most important . My notes ... i'll look into detail tomorrow . Gabriel was so busy counting his own parts , and LiYang was super busy trying to find her pitch . Me ... ? I was busy looking around at my entry .

Commuter concert was ... fun . YuJia came today and she played a solo . I think the best programme would have to be QuJianQing's solos . They were abstract and of great standard . In fact , many of the NAFA peeps kinda fell in love with the YangQin . Sharon told me that it sounded pretty nice . Honestly , i think YuJia and XuHui's instruments are ... old and doesnt sound that nice . YuJia was still as diva as she already is ... and her playing was great . Saw YouGuo with Samuel and WeiLing ... well the seniors , didnt wanna join in ... because i'll be a fish out of water . XuHui's playing was sensitive . Her dynamics have a drastic contrast ... she played really soft and yet really loud at times . I loved the duet ... the last programme , a Zheng and Pipa duet . Anyway , was a great concert ... ? I went backstage and said hello to YuJia , and she said greeted me in English . Adams was speaking to them in English ... and obviously not one of them could understand him completely . QuJianQing was kinda fine , she replied in English to Adams when he thanked them for coming . Well ... it was fun , though many fell asleep i guess .

Had a long practice with Sharon and LiYang . She needed me to go through her parts , because i play mostly ... her notes . Well , the practice was long , because LiYang couldnt find her notes . She is a good vocalist , and she can reach very high notes without much effort . She couldnt find her notes because its all in augmented intervals ... and what im playing isnt what she'll be singing , it might be a minor second away . Well , it was complicating . Sharon's piece is atonal , and i must say that LiYang's parts are really hard . She was funny , she kept telling me not to be so crazy , because i was very obsessed with my playing .

Had fun playing the Piano with Jeremy . Poor boy has to wait for Fairul ... and he went off first in the end , because it took him too long . Fairul's rehearsal ended rather late ... so , too bad . Jeremy was ... bullied by Daniel today , poor boy . Well , he's a poor boy , right ?

Then after that , had fun playing 'Canon in D' with Audrey , on the synthesizer . The synthesizer generates and modifies sounds electronically and can imitate a variety of other musical instruments ... u know ? Well , we played in so many versions , and it just kept going on and on and on ... till HuiQi told her to stop . Then SiHan told me that some people are gonna get kicked out of school because they have outside engagements ... without informing the school , or head of music ... which is Adams . So , i went to ask Alan and Daniel ... then they scolded SiHan because it isnt true . Anyway , for safety purposes ... YongRui and i would go sign the form and let Adams know too .

Waited to Sebestian , then together with Fhairil , we took bus 851 . Before that , Samuel , SiHan , YongRui and Mark came together ... and we settled outside 7-11 . We were buying food ... and entering again after finishing . SiHan bought so many things , and me too . In the end , bus 80 came first . Mark took the MRT , and YongRui left already . We sang on the bus ... and then Ivan came in , with his friend . Then we sang for them to hear ... we were really crazy on the bus . Then Fhairil told Sebestian the stories he told me before ... so meanwhile , i thought about tomorrow's schedule . Well , think im gonna practice with Sharon again tomorrow . Or else ... i think i'll go be productive and do some work . Lecture will be held by Karen tomorrow , because ... MrYap has gone for reservice .

When things are gone , they are gone , and no wind can carry them back . Let the rain wash away the pain ... and let it cover the prints left on the sand ... for that they bring back sad memories . Well , things are pretty well over . And now , i think it might be time for something new . Something ... i havent quite tried before ... Come on WeiKang , do something . If not , then maybe Sharon's piece will mean a different meaning ... and it'll imply to me , as solitude already does .

Prodigal

Well , love hurts indeed .

Anyway , no need for the eyecandies already , because ... i can already feel the sweetness . But , i fogot to say ... im diabetic .

Today was tiring . Another long day in CSCO ... practiced like crazy , and Mike arranged this new seating arrangement . All the principal players of the TanBo section all sits in the middle , so that the sound will generate from there ... not really sure how it goes , but then JiaJin wants YiLeng to sit beside him , or vice versa , so he requested for Mike to change the arrangement alittle . Well , how sweet ... ?

Anyway , let me promote the concert here . This coming concert is a 10th year anniversary concert of CSCO , thus the programmes are ... powerful . The concert will be held at Singapore's Conference Hall , and it will start at 8pm . The tickets are selling at a rather high price of $18 this time ... because its for fund raising ... for the Australia competition next year . For the government schools ... they cannot get this form which will allow them to redeem back 60% of the ticket money from their own school . Anyway , the programmes are followed as such ... a traditional piece with a grand opening ... in this piece , u'll hear traditional drum solo episodes . This piece has a mixture of other elements ... like the TeoChew , so its not entirely Chinese in nature . Anyway , the next piece will be a Dizi double concerto . This will be interesting ... usually this piece either comes in a Dizi ensemble or ... just a trio or duet , but this time the composer wrote it in a form of a concerto for two Dizis , and this piece was premiered in Singapore by our very own Woodwind instructor , TonyAng . Following the Dizi concerto , is another concerto . This time , its world premiere . PhoonYewTian , famous local composer both in the Western and Chinese music circle . He wrote this piece for HuangZhiGuang , virtuoso Suona player . And he will be guest musician , and thus playing this piece with us . This new piece is fresh and has elements of both Western and Chinese . Very repetitive , and the key is always modulating . Well ... the material is adapted from tradition folk songs . After that is an interval ... Anyway , the programme for the first half is already about ... 30 min . Kinda short ... but , the next half is longer . The next piece is a suite , consisting of 3 movements . Composed by another local composer , LuoWeiLun . Ive played several pieces by him before , and his styles are distinctive . Melodic in nature ... and harmonic structure has his own styles . Modulation is simple , and obvious . Well , this suite was premiered in HongKong , and never in Singapore , so we are locally premiering this suite . The piece has its material and theme based on the sea ... thus u can hear many wave-like effects in both musically and technically . The next piece is something like an orchestral piece , played by SCO before only . And this piece is very nice , abstract in nature . Well , another piece with the composer's very own artistic styles of writing . Last year we played his piece before in our concert , and it was very well acclaimed . So , hopefully this time it'll be better . Last piece is a grand rather traditional suite or fantasia by the late PengXuiWen . This piece might bring some peopel to sleep . Well , in order to really appreciate Chinese music , one must not just look out for technical stuff , like listening to the forms and stuff ... I think the audience should feel the taste of Chinese music . The imperfection of Chinese music , and its flaws ... are indeed , its beauty . So , imagine the scene that the music is describing to u ... and taste the performing styles of the Chinese instruments . Of course there is the encore ... and i will not tell u what it is ... because the pieces arent very easy either . Hopefully , some NAFA peeps will come watch ... well , i wont force those who hesitate or arent really willing to come . But , if u are interested ... please approach me , really appreciate it . Thanks ...

After practice , went to eat at Breeks with Jasmine and Sharon . Raymond went to look for his friend ... And in Breeks , it was hell . Jasmine and Sharon went to withdraw money , and so i was alone in the restaurant , fixing Dad's ring . Still cant manage to do crap about it , hopefully tomorrow somebody will help me . When they were back , i dunno why ... we were suddenly looking at Jasmine's IC . I was wicked , i took it and stuck it on the window . And outside are passerbys , and they were looking the IC . Sharon was laughing like hell . It was really funny ... because the IC looks weird . And then the student pass even worst ... There was this funny group of guys who saw the IC ... and then one ran back with a phone , wanting to take a picture . Its fun to see such people . Well , i think WeiLiang are those types . Anyway , then while eating our lasagna , many jokes and funny expressions came through my mind . Really cant think what was so funny about the meal ...

After that , went to shop for Sharon's VCD , and my CDs . So , meanwhile ... i was again speaking in dialects . And that sends them both into laughters . I kept repeating this phrase ... i think Jasmine and Sharon sure can still remember it .

Walked to CityLink and into HMV . Well , the CDs there are expensive . And i was walking around looking for some CDs ... like The Choirboys . Well , i bought some ... and Jasmine and Sharon was stopping me , in the end , they were taking CDs and telling me this looks nice and that looks nice ... So i bought more than i intended to . So , i spent another $90 on CDs today , and $21 on a meal in Breeks . I used the CSCO money ... because i didnt bring enough , but dun worry ... i paid back already , because afterall its in my wallet . Well , i wont swallow any CSCO's money , no worries .

Anyway , i cant handle money affiars , i think MiYan should do it .

Now , or always , im a broke man . I think i shall go shop for clothes . Maybe im a shaggy dresser ... i dun doll myself up like others and i dun intend to , because i know i wont look good . So , who cares ... ? I shall just be myself .

Tomorrow is the commuter concert of Chinese music . YuJia will be performing ... im so excited . Samuel and WeiLing might come down tomorrow ... so long havent seen them . Well , tomorrow will be a day i'll look forward to .

Jasmine said that my blog is getting boring . Well , im not pretty sure how boring it has gotten , but i must agree that sometimes i dun really have much to blog about ... so i pick certain topics to crap . Anyway , i know ... its boring ... but at least it keeps my blog to a minimum of at least a few hundred words . I have a copy of all my original posts in a wordpad , and its a few hundreds page long if i were to print it . Which one day i will ... and i shall bind it too ... but before that , i shall go edit all my posts of mistakes , be it spelling or grammatic . Ask me for a copy if u want ... which leads to this question ... What for ?

Karma

Failed attempt ... ? Or not even an attempt , because Jane isnt home . She brought Dad out to church , but the thing i guess is ... she brought him out so that nobody can visit Dad . Well , she has this company function , some dinner . She is the top ten person for the company ... some work thing , and she is indeed capable . So she has to attend this dinner for sure ... And who knows , she didnt give a chance at all . She brought Dad out ... but since its church , then nevermind . And their handphones are all ... off ... So , i think somehow she knows whats going on . Or maybe ... she read my blog ... ? I dun think so ... kinda doubtful .

Bought a bag and a cap downstairs . They having this market thingi ... and its kinda fun to see these kinda markets ... because things are selling cheap , and of course there'll be some other special things to eat .

Went to school today with an intention of buying the webcam , but who knows ... the day was wasted . I met Jeremy in school ... and we went to eat . Firstly , he was shy to sing infront of me , but in the end it worked out fine ... i played the Piano , while he figured his notes . Anyway , we ate at SimLim , thats when i went to shop around for a webcam , but there are so many shops around ... i dunno which to approach . So , i went around ... with Jeremy ... and obviously he knows nuts too . So , i thought ... forget it ... i shall wait for SiHan to accompany me .

Went back to school ... then i played some silly games , while Jeremy practiced in the studio . I'll go disturb him in intervals of half and hour or so ... Then around 4pm , we went off ... after playing some silly games . Jeremy has basketball practice , so he has to go off . For me , i went to shop at Chinatown , for those who doesnt know what they sell there ... dun ask . Next time , i shall bring u down there personally . Chinatown is an amazing place , with cheap clothings ... and lots of collectables . I love that place ...

When i was there ... it was still kinda raining ... So , i went into this other CD shop . The people inside were cold ... and weird . So i bought around 4 CDs there ... The cashier asked for $36 and i quickly took out a note without looking . Then for a moment , i was looking around ... while i didnt know what was happening . The people were staring at me ... then the cashier was giving me a weird face ... not doing anything . Then i looked down ... i gave her only $5 . I was so embarrassed ... so i quickly took out a $50 to hide my face . The dumb cashier could've just said something and not act like a mute and just rot there . Stupid people ... Anyway , when i left ... they said goodbye and thanks for coming ... and stuff like that ... i ignored them and walked away ... because they were laughing ...

I visited my trustworthy CD shop . And the guy was there ... So , i asked him for my LaraFabian and Sissel . Then he told me that im kinda a bigshot , because they have to import the CDs i requested for from Germany . And so ... ive to wait longer ... and im still waiting ... after a few months already . Nevermind about that , anyway i didnt bring enough cash to buy all that i wanted , so i bought a total of 3 CDs . RyanCabrera's 2 CDs and one of Sissel's latest ... So in total today , i bought 7 CDs . Including the bag and the cap , i spent around ... $100 .

If Mom knows about how i buy stuff ... she'll be mad , because i dun bargain . Well , its time to nurture the auntie within .

Anyway , i shall go on with karma . Dun get bored ... I'll make things interesting ... Anyway , karma means action . It refers to the intentional deeds we do with out body , speech and mind through action , talking and thinking . Karma is the law that every deed doen , given the conditions , will bear certain fruits . So , dun think of running away ... there's no running . Thats some tough defination , but dun worry ... its easy to understand .

All deeds leave imprints or seeds on our concsiousness , which ripen into our experiences when the appropriate conditions come together . So , if we help people with a kind heart , this action leaves a positive imprint on our mindstream . Karma affects our future rebirths and influences what we experience during our lives . Meaning ... how other's treat us , our wealth ... and our social status . Well , if that sounds too buddhist to u , then karma may also affect our personality and character ... meaning , our talents , strong personality traits and habits . Do u also know that ... karma affects who we meet ? Meaning ... our predestined husband or wife ... Well , i dunno about that ... i dun really believe in such things . But of course , there isnt harm believing it , afterall im a free-thinker .

We are according to what we have done , we will be according to what we do .

The Ring

Danial is telling me things about karma now . And he thinks that i dunno what karma is . Well , ive always talked about retribution , now its time to talk about how it actually works . Karma somehow belongs to ... Hinduism and Buddhism , and its something that acts like a precaution for us from doing harm to others . I'll talk about karma later ...

For now , i'll talk about school . And today , i missed aural class , and i know Yohanna will be so pissed , because i know ive given her enough trouble these few weeks . Firstly , there's my father ... in the hospital and then a day when im sick , and another which is my concert this March . Well , but no matter how many classes i couldnt attend , i went for a replacement class . And for that , i think my attendance is still safe . But its no good to go for replacement classes all the time . Ive been for a few already ...

Went for the performance class , and it was very funny . Then MrYeo told me to give comments , but i always just reply him with a ... not bad or very good . And he knows that i always say that , so today he somehow told me off . He told me that a musician has to know how to criticise other's in order for themselves to improve ... And i thought , i do know . I know what i wanna say ... but its just that i dun really want to say it out , because they're afterall my schoolmates , i'll feel weird criticising them . Though its for our own good , i know , but its still not really comfortable to hear them from ur friends . Well ... thats how life is . And after the performance class , im ... so relieved .

After class , i waited outside as i scanned my card ... i ate one of Dedric's buns , because im really hungry . My hair was in a mess today , i had this just woke up look . Then Fairul combed my hair for me , and he asked if i washed me hair . Anyway , so now im telling u guys . Im using this horse shampoo ... i know it sounds weird . Its meant for the tail and mane of a horse , thus its kinda good and strong . So , im using it ...

Had class with DrTan , and she brought us to this art gallery at the other campus . And the art pieces were nice , all acrylic painted . But his acrylic paintings has this texture of an oil painting . Anyway , his speech and his answers to the questions ... really inspired me . Well , he's right , an artist should make his artwork to his own image as his own style . So , if we see a certain painting , we'll know its done by him . Likewise in music , we should play a piece according to our style , and not let too much of the traditional structures and styles . Like YangWei , this virtuoso Pipa player , he has his own style . Judging from his tone , i can tell that its played by him . Another Pipa player will have to be ... ZhangQiang , who plays very cleanly .

After that i went to recital hall and took the scores from Sharon . This time the title has been changed to 'Solitude' . Anyway , they were having the composition test , but i couldnt watch , because i'll have tutorials at that time . So , DrKan was late ... but she managed to finish everything . Firstly , she gave us this score from Mozart's Opera ... and its just an Aria . And , we sang it to ourselves , meanwhile , i filled in the forms for my history score-reading scores , and the history presentation project . Other than that ... i kinda looked through the scores ... and its high-order-thinking questions ... and trust me , its hard to understand them . The answers that DrKan gave was ... really short and simple , its the questions that are tough and hard to understand . She phrased it in a very highly intelligent way . Well , before that ... she told us the story of the Opera . And its really complicating ... the Opera is titled ... 'The Marriage of Figaro' in English . But the story isnt much about Figaro , who is a male servant of this count . A count is a nobleman having rank equal to a British earl . An earl is a British peer ranking below a marquess and above a viscount . And a marquess is ... stop , this will never end . Well , u guess it urself ... Anyway , the relationships between the count , countess Rosina ... and Figaro and his fiancee , who is the servant of the countess . The count is a philanderer , thus he likes to flirt around and of course ... the countess isnt very happy about that . So , the count has an eye for Susanna , who is the fiancee of Figaro ...

Anyway , Mozart collaborated with Lorenzo DaPonte , who is the finest librettist of his time . The Opera was actually based on this play by Augustin Beaumarchais , which had caused a sensation in Europe at its premiere . The Opera was premiered back in 1786 , on the 1st of March . Anyway the Italian title is ... ' Le Nooze di Figaro ' .

Enough with the Opera ... DrKan was very weird today , she was sarcastic as usual and very ... playful and funny . She played us a piece before we ended the tutorial . She didnt play the Piano ... she played the ... CD , on Kiri and she sung an Aria from the Opera . It was ... nice ... right ...

After that , we had nothing on . A few of us went to eat ... and after that , i came back to school and i went through Sharon's scores . It was ... hard ... and i think some parts has to be changed , because i dun think i can manage to play it in time . So , its either she has to change the notes , or else i'll have to practice hard to get the rhythm . Its not really that tough ... but its quite out of the ordinary Pipa scoring .

Other than that , i went to play at the computer lab with SiHan and Danial joined us . He was making so much noise ... and me too , i was shouting 'wait !' for dunno what reasons . Im always like that ... i cant take it when people excite me . Like even in LAN games ... and so , Danial was playing with me . Royce also knows about my favourite shouting word while playing games ... Anyway , had fun ... then after that ... left with SiHan , YongRui and Fhairil . We took a cab to SiHan's place .

Fhairil is good in harmonising the melodies i play . And he is good in improvisation . While waiting for a cab , Fhairil bought NasiLemak . And me , who is on a diet , bought a drumstick . At SiHan's place , there wasnt much to do . We watched TV while SiHan ate his noodle , and Fhairil sat on the floor eating his own's . Then ... we went home .

I told Fhairil about Jane , and only he knows ... because im bored , so i told him . Anyway , im lazy to talk about it also . Its nothing much ... and u wont lose out not knowing , so dun ask me .

Chatting with Jeremy now , gonna meet him in school tomorrow . I visited Dad just now , and i accidentally took his ring and i kinda did something to it . Its this weird ring , which ... is made up of 4 different rings , joint together . So , i detached the ring from its form ... and now , its not a ring anymore . So tomorrow , i'll bring to school and hope that Jeremy can do something about it . I tried for a while ... in fact for the whole night ... and i cannot figure how to fix it back ... Well , headache already ... so , hopefully somebody can help . Anyway , i took the ring from the table , without his knowledge of me taking it . Well , i dun think that he'll be needing it anymore , so i shall keep it for myself . Im not selfish ... im just taking a part of him with me , and i want that ring for myself as a part of him with me . There's nothing else of him that belongs to me ... it all belongs to that bitch . And time is running out ... i must talk to him , and make sure he's aware of this bitch . I shall expose her ... but no open confrontation , because ... the consequences are unbearable . This ring , is special , because he wore it from dunno since when ... Anyway , im gonna dig out his pictures with me , last time or recent , and keep it for myself ... during the next visit ...

Jane is a cunning vixen . Couldnt have much of a chance to talk to Dad because she was around ... tomorrow , shall be a showdown . And trust me , it'll create quite a havoc . Anyway , going to get my webcam tomorrow also ... So , good luck for me tomorrow ... really need it . Pray hard people ...

I almost forgot to blog about karma , and actually i did forget to , so now im here to edit this ... and add this part into the blog entry and make it ... longer and of course ... more boring than it already is . Here goes ...

Karma is the effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation . Retribution is a justly deserved penalty , or the act of correcting one's wrongdoings . So , retribution and karma are 2 totally different thing . Retribution is an act for correcting someone , and it comes as a lesson ... But karma is something that will predestine ur next life , which is already a penalty that cannot be ... any lighter than it already is . U cannot change ur karma , but u only can change ur life in order to create a better karma for urself . Im lazy to talk about it now anyway ... because im really tired ... So , next time .

Scourge

So much for the concern , i think my paternal family is irritating me . My Dad is sick ... and they keep asking me things and telling me things ... and even so , they're hiding some things from me . If u want to talk to me , tell me what u mean and what u wanna say . Im not here to play some silly games . Later i'll meet Mervin , my uncle , for a chat ... and this time i hope nothing will piss me off . If i should be pissed , i'll just fuck this up and turn my back around .

Came home with Marcus , this access-course guy . He plays the FrenchHorn , and he is kinda nice . He stays in YiShun , just like Sebestian , the other access-course guy . Anyway , had dinner with them , because nobody else was in school . Well , so much for the selfish mugger , i think some other people are even worst , they act normal on good days , but when it comes to studies ... they hide away studying themselves . Anyway , so we ate ...

Class was fun , stayed for another tutorial because i couldnt finish my work , not just me ... many others too . Anyway , i think now i know what im doing ... a little bit of improvement , not bad . After class , went to eat with SiHan . Then after that ... thought of buying a webcam , but since SiHan said that Funnan is cheaper , i'll go there someday . After that , we slacked around at the lounge . Before that ... was playing games with SiHan , and then going through Sharon's piece . Her piece is titled , 'Gone' . Trust me , its tough . Not that she doesnt know how to write , but because she composed the piece with not much knowledge of the instruments , thus the writings are different and very unique . I kinda like the piece ... because its rather atonal , and expressive to an extent ... only different individuals will play differently . So LiYang came , she is the Soprano , and she sung through the piece , with much difficulty . The piece is indeed challenging , and not bad . Hope this time i wont screw things up ... i shall look through the scores carefully . The piece is scored for Pipa , Soprano and Vibraphone .

The access-course people was in the lounge . SiHan and i practiced there ... and i tried to teach SiHan some songs ... but its hard . Slacked around ... talked ... laughed ... and got to know a few new people , like Melissa . She is a Pianist , going under MOE ... well , good life . Then , of course the old Jeremy , cracking his brain doing theory . Then i went to disturb ... and helped him and checked his work . So many mistakes ... problems with MinorKeys , and Triads . Well , its the most basic ... but me too , also need time to think . Unlike those with musical backgrounds , good for them ... even better for those with perfect pitch . So lucky ... but those with relative pitch , is kinda good too . Yesterday , we were talking about perfect pitch , and we came up with another term for some others ... called perfect bitch . Well , kinda funny ...

Day was short , and tiring . DrGoh wanted to me join this competition , and its a salute to Singapore , thus the theme is patriotic . And ... im not really sure ... about composing something like that . Well , of course i dun compose much of atonal pieces , usually i prefer to have this little melody in every compositions , and ... thus i think its rather suitable for the competition . The first prize ... is around $5000 , so ... thats good money . Well , still kinda deciding ... because i dunno what to write ... My brain is rusty , its time to dust the old scores ... and bring some uncomplete compositions up ... and complete them . Actually i wrote one patriotic piece last time ... its an orchestral piece ... with Piano as principal , but i think its kinda unplayable . Moreover , they need a recording ... and i dun think i can produce something like that . Too bad ...

Busybodies , i think if nature took its course , everything might be beautiful ... like a romantic lake . Now ... its a waste dump , a swamp or a marsh .

Well , u make me smile .

I think ... there's this weird thing going on with me . And its weird ... like really weird ...

Bought new shoes .

Tomorrow , i shall go down somewhere to get myself a webcam . Some of us are going to try staying overnight in school ... someday . And hope it'll be fun ... instead of trouble . We shall see about that ...

Mervin is going to call me anytime soon , so ... i shall blog about that tomorrow or something . Or maybe later ...

Soon enough ... i shall go on from here . Just had a chat with Douglas and Mervin . And obviously its about Jane . Well , she has been acting again . Well this time , its serious family politics , like those in the movies . But this time , im the only key left ... to help Dad and save him from the life he's having now . Jane is a fucking bitch , and no way im going to allow her continue ruining Dad like that ... and Dad is dumb enough to listen , but i can understand ... there's nothing he can do , but to keep things to himself . Im going to free him from his shackles ...

The plans shall start tomorrow .

Favouritism

From a smile , to a frown .

Had the busiest day of the week , which is every Wednesday . Firstly , there was an intense lecture on History ... by our dearest DrKan . She was very nice ... We listened and watched a live recording of a performance . Its good ... the woman had to dress up as a man , and sing the man's part , because its meant for a castrati , which is a castrated man . Its pretty in the fashion back then for guys to be castrated , i mean young guys ... Imagine , if ur castrated , and then u still dun have a good voice , then too bad ... a wasted loss . I think these people are cool ... deprived of vigor and strength though .

After lecture , we went for a long break . Thank goodness that the Music Platform is cancelled ... because the theatre people are using the theatre . So , we went to eat at this new stall ... somewhere along the path at McDonalds and KFC . We ate chicken lasagna , its pretty good . While walking there ... and while eating ... or ordering our food ... we played this game . The game goes like that ... nobody is allowed to say any edible food , colour and number . Its cool , and we're busy hitting each other . If anyone should , of course they'll be punished by just a small little slap on the arm . We're lame ... could hardly walk ...

After that , we had analysis class with DrKan again . This time , we just felt so ... inferior . She played some very children-like songs ... then we made assumptions and guessed that she might look at us like we're some small kids . She was showing us different variations on Mozart's piece ... and it was amazing , but then ... it sounded very frivolous . Because she's so smart , who knows that she might have done everything and played everything when she was very young . And we're like ... hopeless ... Anyway , she was making rounds explaining how to shed the fats off from the variated piece . Well , its not really that tough after a few of us ... managed to figure out according to DrKan's answers . Anyway , she analysed the harmony of the piece like ... so quickly ... faster than MrYap . She is amazing ... can ?

DrGoh's sightsinging class was ... fun , as usual . I promised him to get him one of the red big pen that i have ... because he asked so . Anyway , then a few of us went out to practice ... and did i not mention this ... ? Williana , our dear classmate , who has a powerful voice , got through the first audition for SingaporeIdol ! And we , as her classmates , shall go support her during her next round . Well , she surely can make it , if she improves on her diction ... because , that voice , is really powerful !

Today something horrible pissed me off . I was looking for my thumbdrive , which was in my bag , and i didnt know . So , i went into the computer lab ... with the intention of searching for my thumbdrive . EricWatson was having a class inside , and so ... i didnt dare to interrupt for long , so i went in and i said very softly , maybe he didnt hear , that i'll just take something and leave . And so when i looked around , i couldnt find it ... so i asked Angel very quietly whether she saw a thumbdrive , and the next thing i know , EricWatson shouted at me . He said something like i came into the class to talk when he's having a class , and he chased me out of the class , pointing me out towards the door , of course when an angry tone . Well , old man , i dunno whats wrong with u , but chasing me out of the class is alright , because afterall ... im wrong to just come in like that . But i didnt make any noise , just wanna look for my thumbdrive . And by the way i wasnt talking , i was just asking ... her , one , bloody one , question only . Chasing me out is fine ... but u shouldnt shout at me like that ! I think EricWatson has some attitude problem , and its not fine for someone as a senior lecturer to be like that . Favouritism , like how the access-course people told me . Well , i just dun wanna get in his way , because i dun even wanna be involve in anything with him around . So , the best is that i stay away from him , and best , dun bump into him ever again . Well , if he were to talk to me from a post of a lecturer , then too bad for me , for that ive no power to talk back . But if u were to talk from equal grounds , EricWatson should change his attitude , which is ... sarcastic , lazy and biased .

Like what LeeTung said , its never good to get into the black books of any lecturers in NAFA , but too bad im already in one or ... two's ... Well , im just happy that i can come to school and see DrKan's smile , hear DrGoh's jokes ... and share a little bit of food from DrTan , and of course ... watch MrYap's expressions ... and have a chat with MrYeo . Well , life is like that in NAFA . Like what Mark said , musicians ... are ... like that .

Had a nice chat with people at the NasiLemak stall . We werent bitching or whateva ... but we were talking about some weird people we've met . Of course there are jokes about music ... and some really silly and lame ones ... Well , had fun . But fun , has to go ...

Was in the bus just now with SiHan and Samuel , then heard some really silly ringtone . Anyway , then there was this fucking weird guy , or gay . I sat a little closer to him , because i couldnt hear Samuel , they were sitting on the opposite direction , another row infront . Then this guy hit me and told me to sit further away , and said that im sitting so close to him like some gay . Please , u could tell that that guy has some mental problem or something . He's disgusting ... and even if i am one , i'll never get close to him ! Anyway , he better start liking gays , or else he'll be lonely for the rest of his life . Im so evil ... i know ... But , thats the truth .

I closed my eyes , and felt my head falling . Seeing stars ... planets ... and clouds . Then suddenly , i opened my eyes . I missed my stop .

Smile

Watching 'AmericanPie' now ... and its hell obscene . But , its kinda entertaining ...

Im still holding on to ur hands , still holding on even when im asleep . But ur not by my side , thus its only imaginery . Goodbye my lover , goodbye my friend ... u've been the one , u've been the one for me . Well , goodbye ...

Confused ... and not committed enough . I think i should think through what ive done , and what ive not . Well , i play too much ... and ive not practiced hard enough . I slacked too much ... and now , im doomed . Maybe im a simile , totally the same ... giving other's the wrong idea , and then ... changing my mind suddenly , and causing the follower to fall . Well , bad leader ...

Just came home from a bus ride . Had LAN with YongRui , SiHan , Andy , Noozli and Audrey . Stephanie wasnt in a good mood ... because she lost her pouch . So sorry for her , and i know how that feels . But we cannot help much ... Andy and Audrey followed her back to school ... and i just dunno what to do . Hope that by tomorrow , somebody will find it and return it to her . Please , be kind enough ... dun be those assholes . I hate those who takes other's belongings , and moreover , its in NAFA ... our own ground , our own friends ... YongRui was very nice , he lent his card to Stephanie when they returned back to school ...

Game was just ... normal ... I bullied Audrey , and Andy wasnt happy . Well , i dunno ...

Harmony class was funny , MrYap was lame ... with his expressions . He said that he wanted to release us early , because afterall its Valentine's Day , but ... in the end , he released us later . After class , we went to eat at KFC . A few of us went to main campus and collect the free gifts . I got 2 cards ... and a stress ball . Its cool that NAFA has these free gifts on every special events . Well , thats cool ... Then LianWei , YinXuan , Fairul , Fhairil and i went to eat at KFC . I wouldnt go there myself ... i dun really like that place , but its fine . I ate like 3 pieces of chicken ... and hate it when there's chicken breast . Anyway , then we talked about many things ... Fairul's boyfriends ... girlfriends ... mine ... Fhairil's ... So many . Then after that , Fhairil went home . Fairul and i walked back to school . The other 2 left first anyway ...

On our way back , then we elaborated about some people ... and we found it kinda true . Well , its obvious .

In school , HuiQi and Jeremy watched 'Constantine' with me . Its a bloody good movie ... i love it . The story is based on all the sayings ... and all the tales and myths . And somehow , they managed to link everything together . Like the dead cows on the fields ... ? And many more ... like the fallen angel who will help Satan to release his child unto earth . Well , it's said that he'll need the help from God , and the fallen angel acts has a helping hand from above . Constantine is cool ... and he has this very typical image similar from Neo , from 'The Matrix' . Well ... nevermind . I think Jeremy was very bored and he darent say anything ...

Watched 'White Chicks' , the favourites . Well , everyone in the computer lab , except Ruth , was watching it and enjoying themselves . They told me to on louder ... so no choice , but later Ruth complained that its too loud and she's studying . Well , sorry for that . Everybody who comes into the computer lab will stop behind and look at what we're watching . Then its so noisy because everyone was laughing ... and talking ... so its kinda hard to enjoy a good movie in the computer lab . Even 'Constantine' , its so soft ... or loud , but due to the other sources of noise , we can barely hear it . Jeremy was bored again i think ... he didnt look like he enjoyed it , and i think he wanted to leave ... but he didnt . So ... nevermind .

Ate again with gang . And meanwhile , disturbed Stephanie ... and Angela ... and Audrey ...

Well , saw many people ... holding flowers , mainly girls of course . Couples holding hands ... smiling ... talking ... Im not jealous , just feeling weird .

So much for the day of celebrating love between couples . Well , im alone . And for those who are lonely , today is the day when ur mocked . I dunno ... because im not sure . But if there's a chance at all ... i would definitely give it a try , even though the low confidence ... i know , i wont make it .

That smile . Well , goodbye to that .

No Man

Dickshen is fucking pissing me off . I flicked his ears till it turned really red , because he was really naughty . Then next thing , i closed the door and he purposely stood there ... so his toes were ... injured . Anyway , i punished him by calling him pick up the rubbish on the floor . Now he is crying outside , because i dun let him in my room . Well ... i dun like him coming in , because he's hands are itchy .

Yesterday , i brought Dickshen downstairs ... and then this lady asked if he's my child . Dumb of what ... ? Do i look that old ... ? Sorry , actually its meant to be a joke ... but my mood now is kinda ... hot . So , bear with the language .

Went to school today , and attended choir . Was an hour early , i didnt know , still took the MRT . Anyway , bought my concession today only , because its expired . Had sectionals for choir , and Jennifer took over us . She's nice ... but of course she has her limits . When the guys misbehave , she'll make some angry comments . And though how true it is , nobody will actually bring it to heart . But to think of it ... she is right ... what kinda musicians are we ... ? Well , the general and most basic concept of a musician is someone who is very well-mannered , civilised and all the good things that one can think of . Why ? I dunno why ... Why cant musicians be naughty ? Why cant musicians play as a villian in real life ? Well , its dumb . But of course , i do think that musicians should conduct themselves well .

Had a short break , thanks to Jennifer . And ate with a few people ... then rushed for choir . But who knows ... they started already . So i stood with the Tenors . Good thing DrGoh didnt scold us or embarrass us in front of the crowd . So thankful ... Nevermind about that ... but choir practice was fun today ... though its very ... cramed . To think of it , i dunno whether to apply the word 'temperamental' for Jennifer and DrGoh . But , they are very nice people .

Had ensemble after choir , and hell , it was boring . I didnt bring my scores , and so fortunately , we played some new scores . Well ... its the SpringOverture . And , it sounded horrible . I think that the Chinese Ensemble is too small , and of course the different sections are not balanced . Thus , we cannot play orchestral pieces , and we have to play horrible ensemble music . Actually i believe ensemble music can sound very nice . But its just that ... MrYeo picks old traditional pieces . And that sucks ... Its off balance , and moreover ... there'll be several Dizis in NAFA . So , imagine the balance of sections . Too bad ... for us that we cannot play good pieces .

Went to the computer lab , and played games with SiHan and YongRui , and of course ... i kept winning . Before that , i went to disturb Anthea . She was practicing outside , and its so warm outside . She broke my pen , and she lost my book . Well ... what else will she do next ? I wonder ... and yes , she bought the same ring as me . She is irritating ! Well , i dun mind the pen and the ring , but she has to buy me back the book , thats all i ask for . Never to trust her again ...

Well , i wont talk about Andy here .

Watched the CSCO performance DVD . My solo was alright ... audible . The rest are just fine ... Anyway , some other people in school watched it with me too . Then DrGoh came , and i think he knows many things , but yet he doesnt wanna tell me . Or is there anything for me to know ... ? Im thinking too much ... Well , i know ... some people just shouldnt take the music path , like me . So ... just let me be .

I went home early , because there wasnt anybody in school . They told me that Audrey and gang left already . Well ... so i went to the MRT station with Fairul and Noozli . And Fairul was being an ... ass , because he doesnt wanna eat with us . He has to reach PasirRis , so he can go to his friend's house and burn some CDs ... for someone , and its for Valentine's . Anyway , so Noozli and i took the MRT home .

I took the wrong direction , and i quickly went over to the other platform and took the train back . And amazingly i met Noozli ... because before that , i thought i should take a bus , but since i'll start the concession tomorrow ... must well take the MRT . Therefore , he left first . But since after we met , we took the same MRT towards Marina then back towards AngMoKio .

Mom fetched me for dinner ... It was horrible ... dun talk about it . After that , we talked about Dad . And its from there then i learned that maybe Jane isnt up to any good , like usual . Well , Jane is ... u guys know ... and i think she is having something up her sleeves . Think its time to break her mirror and get that nasty true self out of her . One day i'll go down with my grandparents to visit Dad ... and i'll make sure that she isnt around .

Well , its time my paternal family should stop hiding things from me . Though its for my own good , like as usual , but im no kid . Its fine to tell me stuff , because im a grown up , or almost . So , just let me know whateva i should know , and stop playing this tedious mind games with me . I can figure the truth out myself , but of course it'll take time for a slow brain of mine to think that fast . So , just let me know whateva i should know .

I know , my blog is getting boring , but there isnt anything for me to embellish it anymore . My brain has gone parched ... and i dun think it'll work as well as usual .

Mom asked if i wanna watch the DVD i just bought with them . Then i thought ... i'll never enjoy a good show because they'll either fall asleep or they'll go out . So ... must well watch alone . I hate watching a show with Mom , because she doesnt pay attention ... and cant have a good laugh with her . So just forget it ...

Anyway , we talked about Dad just now again . And she said that she might wanna visit Dad . So , i thought ... better not because her mouth isnt that sensitive , and Dad has sensitive skin . Im afraid that her saliva may start up a fire . So , i told her not to ... But to think of it , i think she should .

Since life is that short , right Matthew ? I shall then talk about death ... Well , first we must understand that death isnt something everybody is scared of . It comes when time is right ... and people only worry about death when they have things that they cannot bear to let go . Like us , we are afraid of losing our youth . And for the rich , they are afraid of losing their wealth . For me , i dun think ive much to lose ... only my Mom . Often in forgetfulness of our destiny , we become over-incolved in collecting things , in attachments and possessions , in wanting to become someone special . We get involved in many of taking our ambitions , our desires , ourselves , very seriously , thus we lose the perspective of death . We are going to die alone , unless ur a suicide bomber ... Its necessary to come to terms with our basic aloneness , to become comfortable with it . The mind can become strong and peaceful in that understanding making possible a beautiful communion with others . If we take death as our advisor , we live each moment with the power and fullness we would give to our last endeavour on earth . But of course , who will do that ... unless they are selfish people who cares about giving instead of recieving . When we keep death at our fingertips , we become less involved , less compulsive about the satisfaction or gratification of various desires in the moment . When not so clouded by desires and fantasies , we're less inclined to hold onto things and more open to love and generosity . The awareness of death provides the space of clairty in which we can understand the process of who it is that we are , and who it is that dies . From the womb to the tomb , from the tomb to the womb ... Incarnation ... ? Im not sure how u think about that ...

No man , though he sees others dying all around him , believes he himself will die .

Well , i know im lame , thanks . Anyway , today's entry will be kinda short because afterall i blogged this morning . Tomorrow is Valentine's Day , and i wonder who i will go out with . Of course ... i dun expect anyone to accompany me , but it'll be kinda sad isnt it ? I shall buy myself a flower ... ? I'll see about it because i know it'll be kinda expensive tomorrow .

Billy Bombed My Wallet

Amazing someone noticed that i didnt blog yesterday .

Now to answer for the missing entry , im blogging now in school for that i overslept last night . Chatted with Danial then i fell asleep on my bed ...

Woke up early without any alarm , kinda amazing ... i know .

Its never good to say bad things about ur own friends , because they are afterall ... ur friends . But sometimes its so bloody freaking irritating ... and its so obvious ... Well , sometimes u might just have the urge to restate it ...

Well , yesterday was another tiring Sunday . Woke up early and then headed down to CSCC for some tedious practice . It was intense ... and it was hell boring . I played the Pipa ... of course ... but i couldnt take it , it was so boring that my brain was about to explode , so i played the Pipa in some other ways ... wasting full use of my time . During lunch break , it was the meeting ... and of course , there was the agenda ... and then ... there was some other things that WeiLiang and i have to do . But till now , it has been WeiLiang doing everything . Though im in charged also , i didnt contribute anything at all . Thanks to WeiLiang for his hard work , afterall ... he is like such a 'busy' guy ... studying his papers everyday and stuff ... Anyway , after the meeting , i ate instant noodle which cost me $2.50 ... at the cafe .

So , after practice , YongRui wanted to go out ... so ChaiXia and gang decided to take the MRT to CityLink . Well , there isnt anything to do there ... is there ? So i suggested that we take a bus down to MarinaSquare . And so ... we did , because i 'forced' them to . YongRui taged along ... In the bus , i suddenly thought of something about Sharon , and it made me laugh . And did i mention its sometimes kinda contagious . In the bus , they counted my points for my Os . Till now nobody knows the exact score i got , because i really cant remember . In fact , my result slip is still in school ... ACS ... And not bad for Sharon to score a B3 for English . Jasmine might be going over to some poly to study Tourism and Hotel Management . Heard some other people scored pretty badly ... well then too bad , even someone like me , who didnt study a shit for Os , can get those lousy points . Ur a pure loser ...

BillyBombers was dumb . We wanted to eat at Breeks ... but since we couldnt find it , we decided to eat at BillyBombers . Its bloody expensive , when the food is almost as good as Breeks' . Its damn filling ... but its not really worth the money . I paid $25.15 for some stupid fish ... and one bloody milkshake ! Actually ... i can get that in Breeks for ... like only a maximum of $17 . Anyway , had a great time there ... I sat beside ChaiXia and i stole a portion of her share . YongRui was greedy pig , he wanted everything .

Anyway , after eating ... i went to this CD shop ... and i bought a few DVDs . Very different this time ... ? Yes , but the price is kinda still around the same ... $57 . Its some really cheap ones , imported from either from China or HongKong . Though the Chinese subtitles turns me off ... but no choice , its cheap .

SiHan was beside me ... and now hes heading for aural class , so i have a chance to say bad things about him . I taught him how to read my blog , because ive different methods of blogging ... well sometimes , dun u find weird paragraphs that doesnt really quite make sense ... ? Well , there's a way to make them all understandable , but ... the only way will make things sound very obvious .

Back to yesterday ... saw some really good clothings , but doesnt really suit me i guess . One day i must go shopping ... i havent bought anything for myself before . From my boxers to my socks ... my dear Mom bought them all . So this time ... i shall buy something expensive for myself , other than CDs ...

Mom bought me this weird bag ... and she told me it cost $120 . Well ... thats bullshit , i can tell its some cheap stuff in the wet market . But , thanks .

Nothing to blog about , thats why i need to blog on the day itself , or else ... somehow , i'll forget almost everything . Well , like now ... im going to watch this DVD on my own performance last year . I played for this concert and on that day , i was having a hangover , and moreover ... there's still small solo . So , expect what u might expect if u wanna hear it from me . U can read the blog with the title "Hangover of my mistakes" , if im not wrong , thats the entry for that day itself .

Enjoy the polls , and ... Happy Valentine's . Im still seeking for a partner to pretend to be my date on that day , i'll buy myself some flowers ... or else it'll be embarrassing to walk on the streets without one .

Facade

Well Breno has a classical type of blogskin , not bad . For me , im too lazy to do anything with my blog , because there are so many things , and im just bloody lazy . If i were to be charged of something , i'll be charged for sloth .

Woke up early , after chatting with Andy on the phone last night . He called me , and we talked ... about things like NAFA ... and how weird my classmates are treating him . Well , i think Angela and gang might have went alittle overboard , they frightened him . Anyway , its nice talking to him ... then after that ... i fell asleep .

Supposingly meeting WeiFeng and PeiLing at 1pm , so i was already all dressed up . I dun dress ... so just take it as that i was just already prepared . Then , he suddenly tell me that the time has been changed to 3pm . I didnt know ... so i thought , maybe forget it . MiYan and Kenny going also anyway ... So , i thought i'll give it a miss because i promised to go for Evan's party at night . And ... afterall i hate sudden changes , turns me off .

Did nothing the whole afternoon ... was busy watching MsSwan's video clips . She is amusing ... and her accent is very unique . I love her ! Ask me for her link if u wanna see her ...

So , Samuel didnt tell me that he wasnt going anymore . Thats it ... i've been waiting for nothing . I hate last minute changes , or at least , inform me . So i took a bus down to her house myself ... Im not a hypocrite , i hold all my own beliefs . So since i promised , i thought maybe i should go ... anyway , im so free already . Evan and Jwen came to fetch me after i alighted the bus .

When i entered her house , i didnt know what to do . There was plenty of teenagers ... and a group of adults . Jwen and i were ... lost ... and feeling kinda awkward . They introduced themselves , but i couldnt remember all ... only could catch some ... like Daniel , Kenneth , Charmaine ... ? Not sure ... Anyway , then i figured that they were all from her church , and so ... i didnt know how i should feel . But , i felt weird ... they reminded me of my own cell group back then in CityHarvest . Brings back this memory of my old self ... which had been missing , or lost , for quite a long time already , at least 3 years . They practiced their singing in Evan's room , which was kinda in some Manhattan kinda colours .

The group performed for the adults , some Christian songs . Before that , Evan played the Piano while everybody sang some Chinese song . Jwen and i stood at a corner watching ... and smiling around . Then while they performed , Jwen and i sat by the Piano , and saw these old photos of Evan . Big head ... and big teeth ... Evan looks like how she was before . The pictures are ... obscene , thus its not convenient to show it around ... Jwen took some in her phone , go beg her for it . Anyway , after the performance , they sat around and sang some other songs . I stood around ... pointlessly . Called SiHan and YongRui down ... but they didnt want . I believe SiHan was still sleeping ... because he asked some very stupid questions in his messages ... guess he's not mentally stable yet . For YongRui , he was outside and if he were to take a bus or the MRT , it would be already kinda late . So ... told him to take a cab , but he didnt want . Too bad ...

Left early . Kinda wasted my day . Should have went for the WeiFeng thingi , and not Evan's party , because its just not our place to be . Ate a little there ... wasnt really filling , but just enough for the night i guess . Now im home , blogging and listening to AliciaKeys .

My hair is growing back to how it was before . And i must quickly find a doctor to treat it ... i meant , hairdresser .

Gary is chasing me for some list for those who havent paid for the camp fees last year . Well , only a few left ... but some are just ... not really responsive . I think being a sectional leader is the worst job , because im somehow seen as a bad guy . Well , all i wanna say is ... its not my fault , because its the higher authorities that i work for . I wanna give up and just play my Pipa . I cannot take this pressure ... there's so much to do , though its little . What i meant is ... like getting a concert list done is also kinda tough , because people dun wanna co-operate . Like yesterday , i sent a few messages , and i had to call them to make sure that they recieved the message . People like Jonathan especially ... not that im biased , but i think people like that deserve to be beaten up . Anyway , and they didnt know what performance they were supposed to play for , because i told them a month ago , and i know its hard to recall . And for me , i couldnt quite recall it as well , till ChaoYuan reminded me . Its another last minute thingi ... should have reminded me a week before . And so ... i asked some people to do it , and Raymond has another performance , so im afraid that his time might clash . But good thing that he made it for today's performance . Anyway , Raymond doesnt have the red polo shirt , and i think its kinda important , please get it .

So tomorrow's meeting will kinda be a nightmare , because i believe that Mike wouldnt be quite happy . Because there are many things not done , and moreover ... the competition was cancelled , and its such a rare opportunity . Well , i dun get what the fuck the members in CSCO are thinking ...

Well , im not really sure . Anyway i got this few new polls ... One of which will be permanent , its the one for u to judge my character of the day . Either from seeing me ... or from infering from reading my blog entries . The other poll which is in grey , is a mini-poll and the question will always be changing ...

I noticed that my entry nowadays are ... exremely long , or just normal . I dunno why , maybe its because ... im talkative . Anyway , those who recieved their O results , good for u guys ... so please quickly choose ur schools ... and stop wasting time . Sherwin ... where u going to go !?

I feel bad , but ive to say this ... Tillabong belongs with the rest ... the same ... People who finds u only when they need help ... and they wont bother much if there's nothing they need . Such people are like ... Jonathan , Hobbes or David , YiChun ... and plenty more . Im glad there isnt much of this breed in NAFA ... great . Sorry , no offence .

Im surprised , Jonathan goes to church . Thats really good , hope that the lord above will drown him with his mercy rain . Let it bless him and wash his sins off his evil dirty body . Be a fresh new person , Jonathan . If ur not , then forget about all the facade .

Recieving a super big file from WeiFeng now ... hope he doesnt suddenly go offline again , like yesterday . Thus wasting my time recieving nothing in the end ... idiotic .

For the sake of people like Jwen , who doesnt like the song ... im changing it to JamesBlunt's ... Samuel's favourite ... ? Or past time craze ... ?