A Deferred Tale

Mom is just jealous that i talk to Jane in such a friendly tone , and im sure i can understand why . Its a long story , and a story like mine has never been told . Im not a geisha , im just a normal boy . But yet , my story has its elements , not as yet interesting compared to of a fairytale . But im sure , its unique , and its mine .

Refresh my memory for that today isnt the day to tell my story , i'll tell it again on my birthday , which will take a few months more ... Remind me .

Wore some granny clothings today . Was almost late for work ... at Conrad . How happy am i , for that today is the last day . Angeline even asked me whether i know where to keep my things , then i told her , im going home already , see her next year . There was another pianist , she has an attitude problem , her music was horrible ... and she had to look at several scores . Its so horrible ... Heard that JoshuaAng , this boy who acted in the local movies , is coming to study in NAFA . Well ... heard that from WeiFeng and i read an interview on him in the magazine . Well ... lets just hope that people like this will have a better attitude . I cant expect much from people that comes from 'good' backgrounds . But im amazed how good SiHan can be , though he's from a family of musicians ... maybe it all counts in his upbringing ... he has good character , and i think i wont expect that much from this ... JoshuaAng .

Stanley and i bought some CDs . Then i went back to Conrad and slept at the lounge . Im not allowed to sleep there actually , so ... i had to shake my leg while sleeping , to pretend that im just closing my eyes . But amazingly , they didnt approach me , so ... i continued my sleep . I woke up only till when i heard the horrible music on the Piano . Its ... hell .

Watched some silly Chinese old films , and they are ... still as fresh as always . Going to watch 'KingKong' soon ... i think i'll make funny noises like that time in the cinema with WeiLiang and somebody .

Hope peope are doing fine . Its been quite a while since ive been opening myself up for gatherings and outings ... And since im not invited to any , i shall stay at home and rest . Afterall , this holiday is a one week break for NAFA students , because of the termbreak . Cheaters , trying to cheat us of our holidays ... stupid NAFA . Anyway ... take care of ur health , and take more water if ur throat feels dry . Dun take fried food if ur having a fever and please , to everyone , dun be an asshole . Im joking ... just try to be nice .

I prefer people who goes the extra mile in no matter what they do .

Cant send Sharon the Pipa pieces ... because its not working . Well , hope she can manage to notate some notes for the Pipa , because i know ... its hard . I believe she can do it ... i heard her composition before , its not bad .

Dunno who can go out tomorrow ... i know Samuel can , at night . But then ... i'll be so bored . Well ... its new year , who can blame that ?

Saw some fireworks just now . It was ... kinda alright .

I love celtic music .

My Pillar

So much for being washed clean yesterday . My mood can change so drastically ...

Woke up early to visit Dad today . Went there ... wished everyone there a happy new year ... then gave the oranges to Dad . He was happy ... and he was smiling . I couldnt stay long because i have to perform at Conrad again , for tomorrow as well . Thus i couldnt follow them down to grandparent's place , and for tomorrow , i cannot have lunch with them too . Then Dad changed his clothes ... Jane also . We all took some photos ... and i ate some cheese cookies , for the first time .

Uncle fetched me to Conrad during noon . Then , i was almost late ... i took my Pipa and the same thing went on and on ... Carol was there , that idiot , didnt see Melinde today , except for this afternoon at the conference room . But there was another lady who offered us drinks ... thanks to her .

During the 4 hour break , Stanley and i went to hunt for lunch . We ate BurkerKing , and i saved $0.10 from buying the burger and a set of snacks . Went to shop a while ... and walked alot in circles . Bought a few shirts ... because it was cheap . We were like some aunties , we were trying on shirts and looking for the cheapest around ... searching for the sizes ... and even colours . It was really funny ... Stanley bought aprons also , because he loves to cook . I bought toe socks ... quite nice . Then i bought some VCDs and CDs ... it cost me $47 plus ... I wanted to buy some formal clothings , but my size wasnt available , they only had medium and extra large . Well ... was quite fun , but then we had to carry our plastic bags back to the Golden Peony , the restaurant where we left our instruments .

Performed for another set ... and it was really boring . Then we played several new songs ... and we even improvised our own pieces together . Played Russian music ... Western ... and some Korean . Good thing was that , Stanley is my partner , or else i'll die . He knows all the chords , all the progressions and melodies . In fact , he could play everything without me . But he was nice ...

Ate some gelato , but it didnt taste like how it should be . Then Stanley went back to buy some cigarettes at the hotel , because i didnt want him to buy at Suntec . In fact , i told him not to ... but he insisted . We took some artistic pictures ... and i was Stanley's photographer for the night .

I am very hungry now , and i wanna go eat ... Mom was such a pain in the ass . She made me so angry just now , in the car , on the way home . She was talking about many things ... and the bottomline is that being a musician makes no living . I wanted to just shut her up ... and didnt i say that i'll scream my head off the other time if she mentions this again ? Well ... i didnt . Just then , i talked back ... and she gave me that look . I hate it ... So , when we were quiet , i thought about some horrible things that i'll do . And no wonder im a Pipa abuser , im gonna trash my Pipa in front of her and lock myself up in the room and do nothing . I shall not play music for the rest of my life ... and i shall go back and study my Os and get some better grades and go get my A level certificate ... then proceed on to university then i shall get another certificate which will make me an ordinary worker in the society . I was getting so mad , i almost wanted to fling my fist against the window and break it ...

Mom never supports me in anything that i do . Though she does financially , she doesnt really quite enjoy me doing all this . She thinks that im an entertainer , those that plays the instruments to entertain people while they eat ... some low class musician . She doesnt know about performances on stage , she thinks that thats low class . Well ... even if i were to play some concerto next time , i think she'll not even be proud of what im doing . She always tell others that im somehow like a busker . Ive always stormed my brain just to explain to her how the art circle works ... but she doesnt listen and she doesnt believe , she thinks that i dunno anything . Well , fuck it , i do . Unlike my Dad , he likes to hear my play , and he always ask about my concert details . He is the one who watched my concert , unlike Mom who was forced to go watch just one performace which i had a few years ago , and she even complained how horrible it was . I can agree to that ... but , thats not the point . I hate it ... but to look at it , it was Mom who fed me , but it was Dad who encouraged me . Its a balance of both ... but honestly , i need someone who can encourage me other than support me financially . Well ... fuck , im now facing this stupid problem which ive faced last year which have almost cost me my life .

Im not going to go into this serious state of depression again , im just depressed . Thats all ... folks . Goodnight to all ... and tomorrow shall be another routine .

Washed Clean

I am a dirty boy , i must admit . Because ... i ate alot of sperm . I not only swallowed them , i chewed on them too . It tasted bitter sweet ... and i love it . I'll tell u whose i've taken ... Good source of protien u know ... ?

Just came home from the performance in Conrad . Tiring as it is ... but im now going to tire myself even further by having my reunion supper with Mom .

Woke up early late today , and enjoyed composing a String Quartet . Then after that ... i dressed up and wore my socks ... prepared myself for the performance . A year ago , on this very same day , the new year's eve , Stanley and i performed at Conrad . And now again , its already a year , and ive not seen Stanley for quite a long time , so there we were ... falling into the same predicaments again .

Introducing a few people today , there is Angeline , Carol and Melinde . Amongst all , Melinde has the highest authority , followed by Carol ... then Angeline . So the story goes ... Last year , we were slightly late because we were told to be there by 6 pm , but we didnt know it was 5 45pm . So there was this communication breakdown . The sarcastic thing was that ... Carol was on the phone , and when we were there , in front of her , she told a girl beside her to tell us that we were late . What the ... dun u think so ? She was just in front of us ... she could have just told us in the face , dun need to tell her 'servant' to tell us ... Anyway , she has this beautiful smile , which behind hides a jaw of crocodile teeth . She is indeed ... cunning . Then today , there's this new girl called Angeline , maybe kinda nerdy looking , but she was indeed very nice . She brought us around , despite the fact that we are just musicians , not some guests , she talked to us in a very nice tone . Amongst all , i think the best will go to Melinde , if she reads my blog , i think never a chance to , i wanna thank her . Last year , she offered us drinks , and she treated us very well . She has the hospitality , and she has the smile and character of a good leader . She is a supervisor if im not wrong ... An executive . Today she offered us orange juice ... and we were so thankful . She is the best ...

Then , we heard some heavy music at the lounge . I looked over ... and i saw this pianist . If u've read my blog before , and if it strikes u before ... well , im talking about the pianist , as in ... the pianist . Well , she wasnt there today . I think she left already ... because a guy was playing it . He was rough and heavy ... His music was heavy in chords ... though his repertoire were all oldies and some nice soothing songs ... but trust me , he didnt play it that way . He even had some mistakes , but he somehow managed to cover it up . I prefered the lady , the elegant pianist who played at Conrad , everynight ... She is so good , she doesnt have a single mistake , she even had time to look around and smile to the tourists ... unlike the guy today , who was wiping his sweat and staring at the keys ...

I took me a long while to tune that lousy Pipa of mine . It was terrible ... it sounded bad , and it treated me badly ... Well , i think im a Pipa abuser ... thats why . I had to tape its neck , so that it wont run off ...

There was this few salons which had different types of people inside . The first one was fine , they were amazed by the instruments ... and they clapped ... and they listened , really quietly . Then there was another room ... it was totally cold and quiet , well kinda of like in a funeral . Another was filled with people , and that was a big family . They enjoyed the music and they offered us red packets , only the first salon didnt . Then the last one was fine , they even recorded us down .

At the ballrooms ... there was this room , which was filled up with three tables , but yet its so quiet ... it doesnt quite sounded balance . And another was some familiar family that we played for last year , they recognised us , we didnt . We were kinda homely for that round ... we talked and they even told us that they know what we're going to play ... because they had it down on tape before too . The last room was the best ... this few drinking folks ... and their wives . They were really having fun , dancing about ... talking , laughing and make a fool out of anything . Then we played , and since its the year of the dog , they were literally barking away at every cadence . It was really fun ... i think this kinda audience is so much better , hope i get more like that tomorrow . Then when we were about to leave , they told us to play more ... and they quickly took out the red packet that was intentionally for us , and they added another $50 each . Just for one song ... and then , another guy wanted to add another $50 each for another song , then his wife stopped him . It was funny ... and really , it was fun .

Lots of eye candies ... if i were to be alone in that conference room ... then i would have ... nevermind . So ,we left our instruments in Conrad , and im not looking forward to tomorrow's performance , its gonna be tiring , again .

Samuel asked me out , but i couldnt , because Mom wants me back to eat . Sorry ... Just nice , he just came online ... such a coincidence .

House is ... filled , and my stomach is growling . Going to eat now ... Happy new year to everybody , and specially to Dad .

Here goes ... the section where people are curious about . Well , i ate fish sperm . Its only once in a year at this season that the white-bellied fishes will have sperm sags in their body , and the female has eggs . And the special thing is that ... u'll find in 10 fish , only 1 female . The rest were all male ... so i ate like 6 , because they were all very small sized . Uncle bought it for me this morning ... and the first thing i ate was sperm . Great isnt it ... ?

Almost forget ... Mom is really bad , she is somehow like jealous that i treat Dad so well . Please ... understand that he is ill . And she said so many bad things also ... i was giving her that foul face , then she stopped . Stupid ... Anyway , goodnight .

Hear the fire crackers outside , as it scares away the evil . And bath early , for that if u do before midnight , u'll wash off all ur problems and worries in the previous year . So here i am , i washed myself off clean from grudges and woes of 2005 , lets welcome 2006 with a new open heart .

Welcome .

The Swan

Like yesterday's tragedy , today i is the aftermath . Its the awakening that makes people come back to life ... let the sound of the Ocarina ring the bells in our soul , and let it introduce spring once again , into our lives .

Was late for class today , and i told Evan to help me tell Yohanna that i was in the hospital . Thanks to Yohanna for not further questioning ... Anyway , i was very late , thanks to the stupid taxis . I woke up at 9 , and my class was at 10am . So , i had to take the MRT , but in order to do so , my uncle has to fetch me there , or else i wont be on time . So i woke up , only to find that my uncle has gone for work , because he thought that i dun have to attend school today , other schools were having half day off ... Please , im studying in NAFA , where rest is an excuse .

So , i had to take the cab . I walked quickly to the main road , only to find an empty road . So , a few cars passed by ... followed by plenty of occupied taxis . And it took me 40 min to finally decide not to take a cab , because i was terribly late already . At 10am , i took the bus to school ... and life went on .

There , in school , i ate with Evan , Jobyna and Jwen , the rest said that they'll meet us at MOS Burger in PlazaSingapura , but they didnt . I was feeling kinda disappointed with some people , and i just didnt felt like eating ... at all ... I didnt talk ... and Jwen thought its weird not to hear my talk ... So , i said ... im a quiet person , i dun talk much . But the fact is that ... im hungry , remember the infection ... ? I posted all the weird facts there ... go find it urself if u wanna know ...

After eating , shopped a little , then heard some weird music in the shop ... Then , we took a cab back to school ...

Chinese performance class was ... kinda funny . I was doing my analysis , and i sat beside MrYeo . He treats me very well now ... he talks to me , calls me to sit beside him , and we talked and even laughed . I think thats great ...

DrTan is kinda cute , to think of it , dun u think so ? She laughs ... and her accents ... and the way she speaks ... is so , civilised . She looked cute with the extra comments that Fairul gave that day ... Well , enjoyed the short lesson . Learned quite alot of the Esplanade ... and some of the provocative writers ... and some controversial performers , and they ended up banned from the government . Saw some stupid art works ...

DrKan was nice also , she asked some questions , and i looked away purposely ... because i didnt know how to answer , and the next thing i know , she called my name . The lesson was prolonged alittle , so i requested i leave first ... and she allowed me to .

I promised to go watch movie with Audrey , but then during the class , then i remembered that i'll be visiting Dad tonight , and i promised . After weighing the importance , im going to see Audrey for 3 more years , but i only have 3 more months to see my Dad ... So , im sorry , for that Audrey seemed so angry , and she told me to get lost from her sight . So hurting yes ... but i had no choice , i ignored her comments and quickly left school .

Thanks to Sharon , the flutist in class , she told me which bus to take to get to BoonLay , and thanks to her for accompanying me . I know im not a good talker like Samuel ... or anyone else , but im a good listener . Like a speaker , who needs a break from talking , sometimes ... i might shut my ears to allow it to fallow for a moment . Im a good listener ... not a talker ... How about a joker ? No ... i dun think im one ... im the living joke itself .

Went to BoonLay , and had a small reunion dinner with my paternal family . Then i had to leave with Dorothy to visit my Dad ... and we didnt inform grandma and grandpa about it , because we hid Dad's condition from them ... Well , think they'll understand if they were to know the truth .

When i entered the house , it smelled of an old folk's home . Dad was lying on the sofa , like a dead insect . Not implying anything ... because he was all crunched up , guess he was feeling cold . He wanted to hear my play my Pipa ... nobody on earth has ever wanted to hear my playing , except for critics . I took out my Pipa , and everyone there was amazed by how ugly it was ... im joking . I tuned my instrument ... and i warmed up . To think of it ... ive no idea what im going to play ... i just let my fingers take me to whereva the wind blows .

I played a song from LiuDeHai , called "Swan" . The tone carries sadness , excitement , elegance and hunour . Its beauty is known ... and it was felt at that instant . I dunno why , but the Pipa today sounded beautiful , it was in tune , and it didnt go out of tune at all ... I closed my eyes , and my fingers moved along ... my mind was calm . Other than that , i played songs like "The Sound of Silence" ... and even "Dance of the Yi Nationality" ... those popular famous tunes ...

Dad enjoyed himself ... and then , he was tired ... and we brought him to his room . I off lights ... and i packed my bag , then i headed home .

A simple day , could mean a special day to remember in the future . We took photos together ... and im sure , in the future , it'll be with me forever .

U Raised Me Up

U raised me up , to more than i can be . And now ... i see more than im trained to see , and i know more than i should know .

Finally the song in my blog is ... audible . Anyway , just came home , accompanied SiHan to take bus 80 , how nice can i be ? To think of it , the journey is longer , yes definitely , but i walk less .

Lost 2 boxes of expensive chocolate , i left it in the the studio , and now its missing . I left there for weeks already anyway ... just cant remember to bring it to CSCO and for my classmates . Those were my favourite ... its like very nice , and its been already at least 5 years , since i last ate it . And now ... its gone just like that , good thing my aural book isnt missing ... thats most expensive .

Today was a short day , but long as how it seems every other day . I first had lesson , then after that ... went to eat with Jwen , Evan , Jobyna , Fairul and Samuel . I ate something nice ... and nothing much ... Then , i felt so poor . Today , is the poorest day of my entire life in school , not mentioning the coming future ... My wallet was pathetically empty . So , Fairul returned me $5 , from his debt of $65 , so now he only has to return me $60 . I feel bad to somehow ask people back for money , because afterall ... its mine , but i just dun like to open my mouth to ask , so ... i dunno . Tomorrow , i hope i can extract another few dollars back ... to feed myself . So here , i promise to myself , i shall never lend other people money , anymore .

After eating ... i went to school , and there , i met up with SiHan and YongRui . Then , we went to slack at the lounge . Evan and Fairul was already sleeping there ... and Samuel was practicing his trumpet at level 6 . So , after they left ... SiHan , YongRui and i fell onto the couch and started snoring away . We then decided to play LAN , and since i promised so ... i gave a condition , we only leave at around 1 30pm . So we ... read some magazine ... and took a short catnap . I stepped on YongRui's back ... and i tried to wake SiHan up ... At the lift , we met Andy , and i asked him along to play LAN , and he was willing ... so we had fun .

Played some games ... YongRui everytime anyhow join some game , then call us to follow along ... I cant play games well ... And when they shout and scream , it'll get me so nervous ... that i'll shoot anyhow and anywhere ... and start pointing my gun anywhere my hand brings me to ... thus , i die .

Felt so poor after playing ... Then we went back to school . Andy left first , he had to go somewhere . Actually i felt kinda bad to ask Andy along , knowing that he's the playful kind , but yet he doesnt have much money ... u know , u get what i mean ... ? Nevermind ... whats done is done ... So , i met Mark and gang at the lift , and they asked me out to eat . We walked around ... and Samuel told me some little exciting incident ... then Fairul told me some stories . In the end , Samuel and Fairul both went to Esplanade , and they said that they'll be back to catch the competition , but sadly or fortunately , they didnt .

After eating ... we headed to watch the competition . Before that , we had some nice conversation at the stall . Stephanie , Shawn , Mark , SiHan and i ate the NasiLemak . I know it doesnt sound so good ... but it was at least enough to fill the stomach for a night .

The finalists for the concerto competition was TingTing , John and Desmond . Desmond has very good musicality , and his playing was inspiring . John has very strong foundation in his techniques and basics ... but overall , i guess i didnt know how to appreciate the Piano pieces ... thats all . TingTing , has the best combination of both ... and she has the spirit of a Chinese performer , the power of the 'Chi' . She was good ... and the accompanist , was Sophia Hakim , not really sure if shes that good ... but , she won the best accompanist award . Anyway , the first prize goes to TingTing , then John and finally , Desmond . They were all of very high standards , and trust me , they were all good .

Went upstairs to play the Piano a while ... i was so happy that somehow TingTing won the competition ... at least a stand for Chinese music is made ... great , now i'll see NAFA's orchestra perform "The Tradegy of Li'An" a Zheng concerto , during the concert . Wonder who will conduct the piece ...

Im tired ... i slept well during the competition , but i was tired after playing stupid games with SiHan , and it appeared that we are quits , because it was a draw . Due to time constraints , i had to give up ... because my bus was arriving . Get what i mean ... ?

Not just a tragedy , its a catastrophe , or even a calamity . I dunno ... to me , its all the same . Well , im very unhappy with some things ... and some people . Its not u , if u think its u ...

Havent Felt

Just took a long bus ride home . Firstly , i overslept ... so i reached Khatib about ... half an hour later , due to the jam . Then , i waited for the same bus opposite ... and it took me about 15min . Im very tired ... of all these long bus rides ... it always happen .

Well , today is a long day . Performed on stage today , and i know it sucked ... though DrTan and others said that it was enjoyable . Well , i think it was , all thanks to Dedric . DrKan asked me how did he do it ... and i explained everything to her ... Adams also praised him . Good for him ...

Ive been alone for more than a year now . And today , i havent felt much lonely . Everybody somehow was like ... away ... and so , i was alone , i talked to the access-course people . Andy cannot afford to study in NAFA , due to his financial status ... so , its kinda wasted isnt it ? Then i think somebody is attracting too much attention in school ... well , charismatic ... ? Or ... very fake ? I dunno ... I helped Andy with his theory , then i played the Piano for Anthea ... So boring ...

Did some of my analysis , and i showed DrKan at 6 30pm , when she was about to go back to her staff room . The lesson was at 6 , but i missed the lesson , i was busy talking to the access-course people ... and then , so i went there personally at 6 30 , and she looked through my scores . Well , then she showed me some simple ideas of how to analyse . Now i know what is essential , but i dunno how to spot them ... im dumb .

Congratulations to TingTing for winning in the concerto competition . Tomorrow , she'll be performing in school at around ... evening ... ? Yes ...

Fhairil brought a laptop to school today , and i used it to type the history notes . Its so much better ... i hate writing them all out .

Thanks to XiangPeng for his belt , because my pants was dropping . I lost the button ... and i can only survive with a zip , and u know ... its impossible . So i had this jacket as a belt , and then he willingly offered me his belt ... so grateful .

Nothing much to blog about today , just some ... weird feelings .

Played the Piano with Audrey and Noozli . Was walking to the bus-stop , and then i was thinking about something ... then i didnt notice that Audrey was in front of me ... I dunno what i was thinking ... feeling kinda down .

Anyway , i dunno why , my uncles kept reminding me to visit my father , like as if i dunno what to do . Well , im not any small kid , anymore . So , please , i can make my own decisions . Dorothy's husband , Yong , just called me . He's a very nice person , very good in character , and very well-mannered . But ... no need for the call .

Im going to visit Dad in the hospital tomorrow , he'll be doing his radiotherapy . Good luck ...

Vacillate

I managed to find my ring . And i wore it today ... going out to buy more soon .

Anyway , guess today im home too early , its like ... dunno what to do . Again , ennui on the walls , clutching away my time , my breath and my every move . Senseless at first , but its realness is reality . No double vision ... no wild imaginations , everything settles in place calmly , and the facts and truth dun hide . I see everything clearly now , as like from the view of a crystal ball , though unclear and wavy ... it showed me a very distinct feature . And as soon as i know what it is ... everything made sense .

Was in school today , for lecture . MrYap was rather strict , dunno why ... but as the lesson went on , his tone became friendly and humorous . He made some stupid jokes about Samuel , PekChuan and Noozli ... but it made no connection to harmony . Well ... its pretty lame , only Samuel will find him cute . Anyway , then he mentioned that his teacher had huge sausage like fingers ... so thick , well , that was the funniest ... other than that , not really kinda of a big impact on me .

Went to watch the movie ... The Memoirs of a Geisha . Well , if u dunno what a Geisha is , its actually a word most suitable replaced by the word 'artistes' . So , its a Japanese woman , who is trained to entertain men with conversation , singing and dancing . It was a good movie ... not like some pointless Heirloom . The setting was cool ... the music was great ... i couldnt stop myself from humming its melody . Guess i was rather disturbing ... during the movies . Anyway , we bought in alot of food , i practically had my lunch in the cinema . Fairul , Samuel , Jwen , Evan , Jobyna and i then rested our legs up on the seat infront of us , because it was all empty ... funny . We were eating ... and the cinema was pitched black , so Evan used some light from her phone to see what she was eating ... Jwen also ... Well , im not going to explain what the whole movie is about and all ... its gonna waste alot of time ... But , i can tell u that ... i think their budget was very low , because the male actors paid and begged them to allow them to act inside . Well , obviously im joking ... its because the male actors were all ... very ugly . Beautiful Geishas ... disgusting old men ... bad combination ?

After watching the movie , we went back to school , then we decided to go Esplanade after Evan's lesson . Everybody agreed on that ... Jwen too . Then who knows ... when we're slacking in school , while waiting for Evan ... Jwen decided to go home . Well , such a cold blanket ! I hate that ... stupid ! But cant blame her ... So , Samuel practiced his Trumpet , and honestly , i think it sounded worst than any Chinese instrument ... because it gave me some serious headache ... so i left the room and went to another , to play the Piano . Think Audrey is right , all my songs have this same motive . Well ... its because i dun play the Piano ... and since its like the most universal instrument , its easy to work with . Pity that my Mom didnt allow me to learn the Piano when i was young ... deprived childhood , long story , like what Samuel said . Well , Samuel said many things , and to think of it , they are all true , just that it didnt sound quite pleasant ... but i didnt care ...

Went to slack at the lounge . I tried to play some of my new CDs , then after many attempts , then i noticed that it was a tape player ... not a CD player ... how dumb ? We laid down on some of the cushions , then i laid on Samuel's butt . After a while , ProfYu came , and he told us in a very nice and friendly manner that we have to do this and that ... and this and that ... So , we moved the cushions back to its original place . When he was gone , we all laid down on top of the very big new table , with the cushions . Then Samuel went rather ... nuts , he took off his pants ... only with his 'boxers' on , and that somehow got Fairul high and crazy . Then they 2 were very gay ... started to play with each other's arms ... hair ... legs ... and stuff ... I think Fairul accidentally saw Samuel's nuts too . Noozli pulled Samuel's boxers ... and for him and i , we both saw his buttcheeks . Samuel was at a loss i think ... but he didnt seem to care , so we dun really care too . Evan was there ... listening to all the weird comments ... on breasts ... asses ... Geishas ... Not to forget , we all were acting like Geishas for the whole day , after the movie , and its pretty gay .

Noozli was in some weird mood again . He went home ... And we took bus 80 . I was feeling very down just now , even in school when Fairul and Samuel was gaying around . Because ... i fell asleep and had this very unpleasant dream , and it seems to be true , so ... was feeling very weird . I was quiet for a moment , and Evan told me that its weird to not hear my voice ... or something like that , because most of the time , i'll be the one making lots of noise . So , they were all active and stuff ... except for me . Took 80 with them ... and i sat somewhere else , because the bus was very full , Samuel stood for a while ... then i think he found a seat . I went all the way in front and sat beside this old man ... and then , i went back into my dreamland . Till ... only when Fairul called me , and then i went to the back and sit . Evan sat beside me and she was so tired , she asked for permission to lie of my shoulder , so i turned my back and let her . I was tired too ... and of all the head that laid on my back or shoulder before , her's was the lightest , maybe because its rather hollow ... ? I dunno ... Then Fairul and i took a photo . Samuel was another one who slept well ... Fairul and i didnt .

I alighted first , then they called me and told me they saw SiHan . Sure enough ... i went into the little shop and saw SiHan . He took the same bus with us , but he didnt go up to the upper deck , so we didnt know . Then he waited for the bus with me , and we chatted about the competition ... He said he will join the competition next year ... maybe i will too ... Thanks so much for waiting for the bus with me .

Well , actually its amazing to me how people think . Bad taste ... ? I think when u were in a relationship , i thought the guy had the poorest of taste , and now u think others have a bad taste , funny isnt it ? Well ... i'll classify everyone equally , unless they dun deserve so , like this case ... looking down on people who are actually standing on the same ground as u . Well ... i dunno who im talking about ...

Just got home ... and feeling empty . This little confusion never fail to appear wheneva when im at the lowest point . My mood fluctuates ... and its only when and why that fits the reasons why it happens so . And now , the feeling hasnt cease ...

Listening to some exotic music .

So happy to welcome some new members into my family of CD collections . Thanks for reading ... Gentle reminder , please scroll all the way down to the bottom of this blog page , and poll .

Forgetful

My heart is pumping like crazy now . Because ... i dunno where i put my ring . Sometimes , when im frustrated with something ... i'll get so mad that i'll just be too distracted by my own problem to do almost anything else beside me . Like now , im blogging ... with yet the fact that my ring hasnt been found yet . All i know is ... its at home . Somewhere ...

Anyway , saw StevenLim twice already at AngMoKio , dunno doing what . I cant imagine people like him ... how to make a living ... ? I feel so ... embarrassed even just to see him .

Ate with Samuel at S11 , ate the curry chicken thingi that i and Tillabong ate last time . Not bad ...

Firstly , choir was kinda fun today . Crazy African song ... sounded kinda nice , but though the lyrics are rather odd . Sang quite alot today ... then after choir , its Chinese Ensemble . Its the time where people come and waste ... Anthea came today , and i made her play some stupid stuff , really funny . I was laughing non-stop ... and YouGuo was feeling this dilemma whether to perform the piece ... He has been feeling rather confused lately , about competing in the Concerto Competition also . Well , he's already somewhere there , i think he should grab all the chances that comes . For me , im still working my way ... and i dun think i can reach where he is now .

Commuter Concert was great . The pianist was really good ... havent heard anyone played that soft before , except for me . His notes were clear ... be it running or in chords . Though he might play in chords ... he managed to play it very lightly , like just a slight touch on the keys . Pedal point was clear and so ... distinct and equal . I dunno what to say ... i fell asleep .

Sometimes , people ask for it themselves . The more they clap ... the more encores the pianist will play . Im joking ...

After that , i met up with Sharon , this year 2 MOE teacher . And she composed a song for platform they other time , but it was for Violin . Their compositions are mostly atonal in character , meaning ... its like an avoidance of traditional Western tonality . So , im gonna play some abstract pieces ... i think . I went through with her the basics and special effects of the Pipa's ability . Well , many people might have underestimated a Pipa . If uve realised , most of the Pipa pieces , concertos , solos or even duets are composed by people who had played the Pipa before . Only some managed to write for the Pipa ... the others have to get their hands on . Main reason is because that ... the Pipa hasnt gotten a limit , its ability is stretched everyday by people that dwells into its mysterious character . I think she got kinda stressed by the different style of notating for the Pipa ... Well , i showed her everything , almost , some she didnt wanna see . Laurence also went through the same ... but he was more open , as in ... he was somehow rushing for his composition , so there isnt much of the time left to experiment , he wrote the piece first then he added some other techniques in . Working backward helps too ...

ChaiXia just told me that ... putting songs in blogs is against the law , and might be caught by the police . Well ... i dunno that ... i think its rubbish . She heard it somewhere ... well , who knows ... cant blame it on the ear wax .

Went to AngMoKio , with Samuel , in 166 . Talked about many things ... people in school , people outside of school ... friends to strangers ... Somehow , everything around u or me , will remind ourselves of the past , isnt it ? This goes out to everyone ... dun get me wrong . Anyway , i think he and Tillabong should change thier surnames to ... Ngeow . Evil ...

Im tired ... and i still cannot find my bloody ring . Irritating ... dun tell me ive to buy the third one ...

I lost the keychain that Raymond gave me , so sad ! I think i can go drown myself now ... i want another one ! Its like so nice can ... ? Then now ... its gone . Sad ... sob ...

In Me

Back to those days ... when YiChun was around . I dunno why , i think somehow , everyone around reminds me of people i hate . Firstly , there was this dunno who , then next another one , now , another dunno who . Well , i dunno who , really ...

Im so evil . Played with many people ...

Anyway , asked Jwen , Jasmine and ChaiXia to try some link . And they response was ... they were scared . Please , i cant blame them for that i scared them too often . Well , weak heart ... and lily-livered .

After yesterday's steamboat , i think ive grown a little bigger . The truth is that ... ive grown fatter alot . Failure of the campaign ... it must be successful this time .

Had meeting early in the morning . Met up with the members and we sat outside the cafe , had some discussions . And good thing , the TanBo memebers were quite rather willing to help out in the performances . Now the problem is YapBen , wondering whether is he really coming ... because his attendance has been very poor . Anyway , brought YongRui there today , and poor thing , he had to sightread , because we were having combine practices already , no more sectionals . Think he had ... fun ... ? To think of it , Chinese music isnt what everybody has expected before , and its not so much similar to Western . MiYan knows him ... and he knows MiYan ... amazing . What a small world ?

Not enough music stands ... so had to share .

I played quite badly , i admit .

After everything , WeiLiang and i dug out some photos for the little project that WeiLiang is working on , its for the concert . And i told him to send me some ... because it has me inside . Then after that ... we ate at Breeks , didnt join them at Astar . I was willing to go Breeks , though only the 2 of us . We ate quite a lot ... trust me , its worth the money .

So now , ive confirmed my seat to Australia . We're going to compete for some international music competition , its so exciting . And its not like any performer can step into Sydney's Opera House . Well ... this time , we're invited . Good thing ...

WeiLiang was eating with some manners for a while , he was using his forks ... spoon ... knife ... Then , suddenly , his hands . Well , its fine ... not like as if i dun , but its funny . Sometimes people are shy on the table , because of the way they eat , and they know . Like me , i know im clumsy .

Next week is Chinese New Year , meaning ... there isnt any practice , neither will there be school . So fun , so exciting ... and im so looking forward . But i think ... i'll be spending my nights performing somewhere ... wonder where ... and how much i'll earn .

I hate it when people has to go home straight away . I prefer it when people stay out till late in the night ... like say ... 9pm at least . Tillabong , WeiLiang , XiuHua ... all the early birds . They go home after practices , kinda piss me off ... Ive bad character , i know .

Look , weekdays are enough for anyone to study . Weekends are meant for u guys to come out and play , to rest away from all the books ... all the stress at home . Thats why , i never liked to return home early after practices . Well , i think ... nevermind .

ChaiXia went to meet her friends for project , so no problem . Anyway , ive been so busy , i dunno why ...

People ask stupid questions .

I fell asleep on the bus home from AngMoKio Central ... and it seemed so long . Anyway , it rained so heavily , i think i couldve melted under it if i were to stand there for awhile . I love the rain ... but i wasnt dressed properly ... or else , i would run under it and go for a rain walk ...

After the rain , a rainbow will show itself in the clearness of the blue sky . And i hope ... mine will come .

I guess ... im still the same afterall . Its still in me ...

Eye Candies

Played some silly games with many people . So funny ... Stupid pranks ... i feel so dumb and bad can ?

Anyway , my left foot hurts . Think i walked too much , thanks to Samuel . Took a bus with Samuel back to around AngMoKio , then met Julia on the bus . She was so sweet ... she came to us and said hello . Then , most of the time , Samuel was sleeping ... drooling ...

Went to school ... nothing to do . Really nothing to do ... so i asked Samuel to go out .

Supposingly , meeting Breno , this guy i met in Friendster ... at around 5pm , but i also called Samuel out . And it seems that Samuel isnt very comfortable if i were to meet Breno ... so sad . So , disappointing isnt it ? Sorry Breno , but i told u already , i might be meeting somebody else .

Some classmate of mine is showing some attitude . I dun like it ... well , since the coldness between us is started by u , i wont need to end it myself .

Anyway , shopped around Bugis . I wanted to buy shoes ... but in the end , because of the rain , Samuel wanted to walk behind some alley ... Saw some stupid drivers ... We were walking around aimlessly , sharing some stupid jokes , some racist though ... but were really funny . Then there was one about David ... i'll stop here .

Then we decided to go eat at Suntec . So we walked there ... it was quite far , then we walked ... and walked ... and walked ... We were walking around in circles for almost half and hour , talking . We couldnt really decide where to go , then finally , we walked to Suntec . Saw a chocolate shop , then i bought an $8 drink , its some dark chocolate ice blend , and trust me , its the best ever ! Samuel was drinking non-stop ... and im not that selfish , so i didnt wanna ask it back ... he did that on purpose actually ... i know . We then suddenly talked about saliva . Cant really remember how we ended up talking about that ... at first we were talking about how expensive can those pathetic chocolates be , but seriously , they are expensive . Samuel so generous ... bought someone such an expensive gift , wonder who ...

Well , we analysed everybody in class , and we gave a rough description on how their saliva would taste . Weird ... ? Yes , its Samuel's idea . He couldnt stop ... was saying that Mark's would be sour ... Audrey's might be salty ... and same goes to Jovan's ... and whoeva so ... Its dumb . Then finally , my foot was about to give way . I didnt know why , it felt painful . Anyway , i didnt care about it ... so , we continued walking in circles ... just to find somewhere to eat . Shopped around too and stuff ...

Then just so suddenly , Samuel mentioned about steamboat . Click , there goes the notion , and we then abruptly decided to take a cab to MarinaSouth to eat the buffet steamboat . We were like so excited ... called SiHan down , but he didnt want to . Actually the place isnt that near , so the cab fare cost us about $7 plus ... i paid . Then i brought Samuel to the DragonVillage , the same stall where that time ChaiXia and gang , we ate together . Trust me , it was damn crowded there . So , we walked to another stall ... the one just beside it , and we then decided to settle down there , because the food looked fresher compared to the former . So , we sat outside , because it was cooler . We were looking so pathetic , just 2 person , so lonely ... and dunno where to start . It cost us $12 each ... To think of it , i think they made quite a lot of money just like that . Think about it , cheap food ... steamboat ... no air-con , and drinks isnt included . So , we started to take our food ... started off with some chicken wings .

When we settled down , preparing to cook ... I started to feel little droplets on my head , then Samuel felt so too ... It was going to rain . We were so startled ... we just settled down , and now we have to move . The lady was shouting around ... and everybody was moving inwards . We found ourselves a good seat , thanks to the Indian worker . We ate alot ...

We changed the foil so many times , the Indian man was nice enough to do it for us ... Then we ordered this $10 jug of lime juice , and its the first time in my life today that i drank lime juice and ate sea cucumber . It was all a horrible experience ... thanks to Samuel . Im no somebody ... Anyway , then we saw Alvin . I saw some people from MDC there also ... Anyway , nevermind them .

We ate alot , so much ... and we ate alot of chicken , and Samuel could cook really well . I think its the best ive tasted so far , from steamboats to SeoulGarden . Anyway , i enjoyed myself . Saw Kieth and Donovan , so gay ...

Before we left , there was DeJie . Anyway , i ate so much food , Samuel ate so many sweet candies with his eyes . Our hair go so oily after eating ...

The rain was heavy , and it was flooding the place alittle . But no matter how , the joy of the steamboat shadowed over all . Some stupid jokes ... and some really stupid moves . I picked up the crab and scared Samuel with it . We dropped our chopsticks ... and it was stupid too .

After all the fun , we took a bus home .

Changed bus later , and went to a club . Just saw the outlook ... kinda freaky isnt it ? The dark side of Singapore ... well , slowly i think it'll be out in the light . In fact , actually its beginning to show itself in the public in forms of art , theatre or whatsoeva . Well , i dun care .

My left foot is in pain , didnt realise it untill when i was in the bus .

For all my visitors , ive created a poll at the bottom of the blog page , please vote there ... and have fun !

Dun Get Me Started

Bad hair day , like always .

Just saw a lizard , a baby one ... dangerous ... it might grow into an adult anytime like now ...

Went to eat at AhYat , used to eat there very often . Last time when i was still in secondary school , i'll get to enjoy lunch with Mom and uncle . Then we'll eat at some restaurant ... usually very good food . But one thing i didnt like , till now , is the conversation between us .

After eating a whole chunk of junk , i knew i had to shop around with Mom in TurfCity . Everytime we're there ... we have to shop around in Giant and stuff . I hate to shop around ... i prefer to quickly rush home and do my own stuff . Well , she told me to buy some clothings , and so ... i dreadfully did . Mom doesnt like the way i shop , i buy things very quickly , without much hesitation . So , i went around , picking the clothes i want ... like how i buy my CDs ... In the end , i bought 4 clothings and one pair of boxers . Mom would then argue with me not to buy which and which ... but in the end , i'll argue my way back . So , uncle paid for them all ... and to the cashier's surprise , he took out a $1000 note . The cashier couldnt find any change ... thus she had to call down lady boss ... and then , she'll take out a bunch of $50 notes and ... somehow get him a change of $900 plus ... So funny ...

Well then we talked about many things in the car . I hate to discuss things with them ... because our views dun match , and we have different tastes towards many different things . So one of which , the most sensitive to me , is about music making a living . Well , i know what im doing ... and i know how far can i go ... If they were to talk about this again , i'll scream and shout back ! They got me so fed up , i was talking so loudly , and Mom knows im getting mad ... thus she started to turn the wheel abit , and we changed course ...

Funny ... so far only a few people managed to make me raise my voice . And when i say raise my voice , i dun mean shout or scream ... just a little uptight with the tone and stuff ... My uncle , Mom , Dino and YanJun . Of course there are others ... mostly some stupid people from ACS .

Im sick today , and again i didnt attend class . But this time , i have the medicine at home , but i dun have the MC from the doctor ... because i didnt even go see her today . Well , hope nothing happens in school .

Tomorrow is Saturday , hope i'll find some fun doing something . Asked some people out , some have other events going on ... Dun be angry if i didnt ask u , its because im feeling somehow different , and i dun feel like going out with a specific group of people . No offence ...

Guess there's nothing to blog about . No wonder , the page views are dropping ... i dun care .

Sometimes when i say no to something , there are reasons why . Maybe its because i dun like it ... or usually its because i know i wont stop if i start . So , dun get me started ...

Irksome

Got home early today . Took a bus and i missed my stop ... ended up in the interchange ... and the embarrassing thingi was that the driver was about to park the bus already .

I was lazy to go for class today , almost wanted to skip it ... I dragged my feet up , feeling the pull back into my bed ... but i fought hard . Sounds so exaggerated , but really ... i didnt feel like waking up . I slept late ... yes ... but i dunno why , i suddenly just felt really very tired . Took an MRT then a bus to school , its alot faster , but i'll have to stand longer in the MRT , then maybe not even a seat in the bus ... so its tiring . And imagine if i were to carry my broken sling bag , i'll die .

Its time to change the song . Anyway the previous song is by Sade ... called By Your Side . This new song is by CraigDavid ... and its what i wanna say also , though not in a negative way ...

Fell before , and like once bitten ... twice shy . And now , shame for me for falling again . Ive fallen ... but now , ive picked jmyself up .

After class , i practiced a while , after taking lunch with Eudora , Jobyna , Jwen and Evan . All the girls ... weird . Then we talked and joked ... Jwen and i ate exactly the same thing , she copied me ... joking . Then Eudora was eating the NiangTohFu , and she took the food that she wants and she put it in the tray ... instead of the bowl . I dunno how funny can that be ... Talked about some people in school ... and its a pity that there's is nothing we can do to chase them out .

After eating with them , i ate again with Fhairil , Fairul , Samuel , Mark and SiHan . Not forgetting somebody ... who is SiHan's friend , nevermind him . Then i ate a little ... Accompanied Fairul to pay his school fees ... and he only has to pay $800 ... cool ... ? Because he is paying by instalments , poor boy having financial difficulties ... but yet he could afford to party and eat some expensive waffles . Contradicting right ? Joking ...

Practiced a little ... outside , behind , at the stairs there ... Then it sounded great , good to cheat urself . I think its like bluffing ur ears on how u sound ... because the acoustic there is different ... its spacious ... thus the sound has these echo , like that day Benedict told me to practice in the toilet . Well ... again , i think its cheating urself on how u sound , because u'll realise that u dun really sound that nice . So ... i cheated myself just now . No matter how i practiced , i think i got somethings right ... bit by bit ... And no matter how , there are distractions ... and temptations ...

Audrey came and asked me out to FairPrice . So i called Evan and Eudora along ... they were practicing . And i cannot manage to only get one of them ... because Eudora wont go unless Evan does , and vice versa . So ... i told them different lies ... I told Eudora that Evan is going ... so , she hurried and took her stuff ... Then i told her to quickly call Evan to stop playing the Piano ... So , in the end , both of them came along . Audrey thinks that ... somebody is cute . And LeeTung was like telling me ... she has weird taste . Funny ...

Went to Orchard with Noozli and Evan . First stop , was MusicEssentials , Evan wanted to buy her books . Do u know how far that place is ... from NAFA ? And we walked on foot ... we could've taken a bus . Dunno what happened ... Noozli , again , was feeling down ... and he was very quiet . Well ... i think maybe its me ! Because when im around i always see him like that ... Evan was talking on the phone with Jwen ... so irritating ... Noozli walked off , went home first , then Evan and i went to TheHeerens to buy my stuff ...

Dunno who , or me , or whoeva ... is feeling tired . Mentally worn off ...

My blog nowadays are getting shorter and shorter , maybe because im feeling this laziness to blog that much . Well still ... at least i blogged . No point though actually ...

Hierarchy

Just came home from a long bus ride , took a total of 2 buses , though i could take one direct one . Practiced in school , practiced nonsense , for quite a long while ... then heard some people playing YellowRiver Piano Concerto in the computer lab , so i went in and join them . Then talked to one of the trumpet player , from the access-course , Edric if im not wrong . Then also heard Mark , Noozli , Fairul and Samuel play ... Mark improved so much , from the tone to the skill . I think i must learn from him more ... Samuel and Fairul just ... anyhow played the bumble bee song .

Anyway , i had a performance today in school , a composition by Laurence remember ? Its screwed up , not his fault , think its mine ... ? I dunno what went wrong again , anyway its the same old problem . Guess this performance might have changed many mindsets . Laurence is a nice guy , yes . Thanks to him anyway , and felt so sorry ... Right , Samuel .

Ate with SiHan and WeiXiang ... now , im feeling kinda queasy . Samuel bought me a drink , so nice of him . And thanks to Ivan for the umbrella ...

I think im being paranoid about somethings . Dunno why , it just seems that these pests wont leave ur life ... and they'll plant themselves somewhere where ur most uncomfortable with . Since now even where i am is infected , i dun think its safe for me anywhere else . I hate these people ... get out of my life please ! I wish that some big acidic pesticide rain will fall and kill all these disgusting bugs ... i wish ...

Anyway , saw Samuel in school today . Samuel Wong yes , not Samuel Yau . Dunno what was he there for , he was with GohTohChai . Well ...

Next week there'll be another Music Platform ... for the Chinese Ensemble , its time to shut ur ears and close ur eyes , trust me .

Well , there seems to be some little caste system in CSCO ... I think its these classification thingi that makes people very unhappy . Who would wanna be a bourgeoisie , or even a plebeian ... ? Nobody does ... everyone hope that they'll be either united in someways , or classified as under one single body . I think its too much for him to say that too ... so relax and take things easy . U must understand ... the concert is coming , and its only normal for them to be concern about the others who cannot play ... and the problem is that , its kinda a grand concert , so nobody is spared . For me , i must say , ive been slacking ever since dunno when . I just go and sight read my scores ... like those days in SYCO even . I never practiced my pieces at home ... but now i think its kinda an example setting thingi , so i should practice my pieces at home and make sure i can play all of them with ease . Relax Tillabong ...

Called Jonathan , Jacinda , XiuHua , Raymond and Jasmine ... and surprisingly all of them picked up their phone rather on time . So ... im happy . I asked them to perform for the performance thingi ... and they didnt reject ... so , i feel so happy for myself . Thanks to them . Except for HuiMin , she called back later though ... Didnt wanna bother MiYan , since she's already kinda reluctant to be the leader , so i wont wanna push her much . Let her have a break and stuff ... let her just rest , unless i really cannot take it . Im tired ... already though ... Please dun misunderstand that im seeking attention by doing all these ... or stealing the limelight of being a leader ... No im not , and please nobody would actually wanna volunteer to do all these if they're a leader , trust me . Its tiring ... its demanding ... and its time consuming . So , i wish im not ... but since Mike asked ... so , must well just take it right ... no choice .

Samuel is wickedly infatuated ... cant help it . Just dun do anything stupid like u said today just to get her ... or ...

Pleasure Fatigue

I think there's something wrong with my blog . There's this stupid page that keeps coming up ... not only in school computers , its here at home too . Thus , i dun think its safest at home afterall . School computers are like ... running like some slow dead snails ... it takes like 15 min to start up and stuff ... so u imagine how slow it is . Blogging at weird and inconsistent timings ... must catch up with the momentum of life .

Today , im tired . I first attended a lecture in the morning . Ive no idea what MrYap is going through , i just listen and just try to understand what hes talking about , but i just cant apply it into the question . Its like ... difficult . Anyway , after that , i practiced with Laurence , because im going to perform his piece tomorrow during Music Platform ... so exciting ... ? I dunno what will happen tomorrow ... keeping my fingers crossed .

Before that , i went to visit Dad . Because , Dorothy messaged me that he vomitted and is feeling some bodyaches and stuff ... Well , he is on his road to recovery , as long as nothing goes wrong within this week , then he'll be in good condition . The neurologist did an operation on him , and they created a tube that links from his head to somewhere ... which helps to serve as a vessel , because the tumour cannot be removed , and it is blocking some other vessels . Hard to explain ... anyway , the tube will serve its main purpose when he needs to go for radiotherapy . He is indeed going through a hard time now . For me , im juggling my time between studies and Dad ... ive been sick these few days . He has to stay strong for chemotherapy and radiotherapy , hope he'll be fine . Pray hard ...

And , to let the others know ... At 11pm every night , there's a synchronised prayer session with everybody who cares for Dad . He'll pray and confess for himself too ... Let's not give up hope , he's on his way to recovery , like ive said .

DrKan just told me that i had to redo all my scores for analysis , because i think they are chosen . Well , tough time for me ahead ...

Just came home from the movie at Suntec . Well , its like a wasted production . It managed to con some people into watching it , because the poster looked really attractive . Its a horror film , and trust me , Fhairil didnt scream and Fairul even opened his eyes throughout the whole movie ... Samuel did cover himself with the popcorn ... But by hearing so , u can tell that ... the movie isnt scary at all . I think Jwen will even yawn ... Anyway , the movie is about this legend or myth about adopting baby spirits . Well ... i think many had heard other stories about it before ... The story of this , is kinda interesting ... but it just lacked the kick . Reminds me of music from SCO ...

Took a bus home ... with Fairul , Samuel and Fhairil . Then we talked ... Got the hint , but didnt bother much . Looked through some pictures ...

Yes , i want to upload some pictures , but now im like so lazy ... so lets just wait .

YanYu called me today .

Tomorrow is Wednesday , the busiest day of the week ! Im gonna suffer ...

Just walked up 11 storeys , because i saw a cockroach in the lift . Didnt wanna take the lift with a cockroach ... again . Its really scary ... so , i'd rather walk ...

Im exhausted ... mentally . Fatigue about ... pleasure and all the fun .

Just read Jovan's blog , and its dumb ... the infection thingi . Well , im infected now . And since im like so bored ... must well do it , since at least some people will know my weird facts . Anyway , this infection is some chain thingi , i'll have to list out 5 weird facts about myself ... So , here goes ...

Kinda similar to Jovan , im a right hander , but i somehow very much like a left hander . I write with my right hand ... yes ... and same with the slinging bag thingi about Jovan . Ive something else ... In art classes , i can only draw people facing the left . Anything facing the right will be screwed up . And i dun like to walk on people's left side ... meaning , i prefer to face the left . Thats why , u see my pictures , almost all facing my left , which is usually reflected as the right to the viewer . I hold my knife on my left hand ... i cross my left leg over my right ... yes ... Because of the left thingi reason , i cannot draw well .

I shake my leg . Like who doesnt right ... ? But i only shake them when im thinking about something ... weird ... ? Usually i'll balance my slipper with one toe , while my left leg crosses over my right , then i'll start shaking . I dunno why , but thats when im deep burried in thoughts .

From young till now , wheneva im quiet ... there's something wrong . It means ... my poor stomach is growling , or simply that ... im hungry . My Mom knows that ... and only some of my friends know . So when im really quiet , offer me a sweet ... or either , initiate to eat please ! Because ... im really hungry . No food , no energy to crap .

Do u know that the curry is good for health ? Thats out of point though ... nevermind .

Another weird fact is ... i love curry ! That sounds normal ... ? But , the twist is that ... i dun like spicy food ... I dunno why , curry is like ... such a turn on for my tastebuds , i always drool over curry . But , no matter how spicy it is , and i know that i cannot take it , but i'll always give it a try ... and i'll finish it up . Curry ! Hurry curry ... i love curry . I hate chilli ...

I dun really like meat . Contradicting to my body mass ... ? True ... I never take fruits , only apples . I take a ton of vegetables , and i love them ! From the longbeans to my favourite bittergourd ... i love them all . I used to take so much that ... i think its equivalent to taking a few servings of meat . Anyway , i dun like fruits ... did i mention that already ? And another thing is that i cannot take desserts . Be it Chinese or Western ... only ice-cream . I cannot take any dessert at all ... i'll puke , really .

Well , thats all for the chain of ... infection ... So , now i'll have to infect other people , and make them pass this stupid chain . Well , thanks Jovan , so maybe i'll pass it to people like ... Samuel , Jwen , Evan , YongRui and Fhairil . Since u didnt mention them ... and they have a blog too , so i'll pass it to them .

This is extremely lame ... can ?

Morning Bird

Stranger than usual . I just woke up , and its like early in the morning . I dun usually wake up so early . This time , i felt like as if im late for school or something . Last night , when i reached home , i fell into bed and i couldnt wake up after that . Guess im tired ...

School was fine . Boring rehearsals ... had some nice conversation with some of my friends .

After which , everything went wrong . First , i took 166 to the hospital , and i fell asleep , thus i missed my stop . I took the bus all the way till Dover , then i was like ... lost . I felt strange at first when i saw NUS ... because somehow i know , ive taken either the wrong bus , or ive overshot my stop . So i alighted ... then i went over to the other side and i took 166 again . This time , i didnt sleep ... So it took my almost 2 hours to get to the hospital when i could actually have gotten there in like 30 minutes .

When i got there ... i walked quickly to block 5 . And i thought it was at 52a , when the ward was actually 52b . I went into 52a , and the first thing i noticed was its serenity there . It felt weird ... then later i saw many baby pictures ... and things got weirder . Then i noticed , its a labour ward . So i went to 52b , and its the ICU , intensive care unit . I went into the surgical section and then i walked around every bed to look for Dad . Then the next thing i know ... im at the wrong ward again . Its another 52b ... so irritating right ?

Dad was bald . They shaved his head for the surgery ... now he looks better . Joked with him about his new hairstyle . He was really weak and tired ... he just wanted to see me . I didnt know why , i had a terrible flu there ... sneezing really loudly . So i went to a corner and started sneezing like a mad elephant would . So , i had no choice , i told Dad that i'll leave earlier , because im not feeling quite well . His immune system isnt that strong , so i think i shouldnt stay for long .

I went to meet up with Samuel and gang at Esplanade . They were doing their citation and their analysis . I stood there doing nothing ... disturbing Fairul by pulling his boxers , thats all . Went to eat with them later ... ate some curry noodle again , and trust me , its nice ! Do u know that curry and peanut butter is actually good for health ? Well ... then , we talked and laughed abit . Samuel couldnt finish his noodles , because it tasted like temple food to him . To me , it doesnt even have a proper taste ... its like ... weird . Fhairil ate so much again ... weird .

Took 162 with Samuel and Fhairil , and we had a hard laugh there . Williana was in the bus too , so i kept waving to her to attract her attention , but she didnt notice only after a few waves . Samuel said i looked retarded . Then we talked about mad crazy people , and somehow everything is linked with the bus . So maybe , we 3 might even become somebody like that next time . Because of such memories ... we'll go crazy .

Had fun ... now is still early ... dunno what to blog about . My mind is still sleeping ... so , thats it for the day . Good morning .

Still

Blogging in school now , isnt it weird ? Blogging in school is actually kinda dangerous , isnt it ? Because ... the school computer takes a very long time to load something , and what happens is ... it'll show some error page after a long while . Now , im taking the risk ... lets hope that this will be posted sucessfully .

Performances are finally over , got a few more ahead . This time , its for real money ... The 'KungFu Tale' musical was kinda exciting somehow , because now its over , we kinda missed the 'good' show . Impromptus .. and trust me , it didnt really sound premeditated , its really ... like dumb , and the lines doesnt match the tone they normally speak in . All the eye candies ... and all the cute little children ... and the cheesy lines ... ShiShanYi's stupid moves ... and the super humorous fat guy ... Well , all is gone .

Today , is already Monday , but i'll blog about Sunday .

Had a talk with YanJun in CSCO . Well , she was loud , thats all . No matter how loud , the words arent loud enough . At least now , everything has come to an end , i assume ... Never hope too much , neither should one assume things , if so , one is gullible and naive to his or her own thoughts . Well ... thats all ive to say , and sorry to WeiLiang for somehow ... getting him embarrassed . Thanks to YiLeng for that little talk we had ... and some for understanding .

How can i forget YanHao . He is really a nice guy , who has the responsibilty and initiative for anything . Yesterday , he took the MRT with me to Outram , though he could take another train . Well , good thing that there's such people in MDC ...

Just had rehearsal with Laurence , and it was fine . Felt so bad , but im lazy to excuse myself , just because of my problems .

Dad is having his brain surgery by now . And im sure he asked for an angel to be by his side in the operating theatre . Too bad i dunno whether i can apply leave from Adams . Like ive said ... i think talking to him is like talking sense to a block of wood sometimes . Firstly , wood isnt really living . Secondly , nothing . No matter how , ive to get down to the hospital , so when he wakes up , he'll see me by his side ...

But i dun wanna miss class like last time , then end up repeating a stupid module . Life is tough when nobody knows anything .

Lisa just sent me a message regarding my Dad , and she is offering help . So grateful and thankful for their concern . Thanks , but i dun really need any help for now .

Im feeling kinda blue now , like always , just that i havent been wearing blue so much these days . But now , im moody , and im feeling down . Down with flu probably ...

To that somebody , at least now ive said things out ... i feel so much better !

Still ... still ... still ...

Flood Of Thoughts

I just watched something really funny , by WeiFeng . Thanks ... its damn funny .

Came home from the hospital ... and Dad is doing fine . By this Monday , the operation , of should i say ... the decision for the operation would be fixed . Some good and bad news ... but i wont say it here .

Esplanade performance today was ... fucked up ... like how they would describe , but i would just say its screwed up . Firstly , the lines they added sounded corny , and next , some scenes were missing ... and somebody forgot to take back the umbrella on stage . Funny shit ... YanChien's solo ShiMian was cut off ... and nobody knew of it ... because the actors got the scenes wrong ... Its totally like rehearsal again ... So to think of it , the contrast between yesterday's and today's is that ... somehow , the one yesterday was the best . I guess tomorrow's performance would be worst ... Lets have our fingers crossed and hope that we'll go through hell quickly .

During one of the scene , they were supposed to whack one of the guy with this wooden stick , and then , it'll break and split . In the end , it did ... and the other half of the stick shot down into the orchestral pit and almost killed LiuCiYong .

CSCO practice tomorrow , how exciting ... Well , lets just hope that YanJun will not run away from my questions with some very lame excuses ... lets just see if she can relax herself , and verify some things , dun need some exclamation and stuff ... then make a big fuss and some big scene at the CC .

On my way to Esplanade from the hospital today , i met this guy called Baker . He is from Australia and its his first time here in Singapore ... It happened like that ... dun get confused . I was walking very quickly ... then in front of me was this black man and a white man ... i noticed them when i was at the MRT already , because they were wearing some air force uniform . Then when i overtook them , we exchanged glances . And the Australian guy , Baker , asked me whether im feeling hot , because i was wearing this thick black sweater ... So i replied that im not ... Then somehow we got into a conversation . The black guy walked behind ... while i chatted with Baker . I asked him how he found Singapore , and expected reply was just ... hot . Well , then he asked what i was there for ... and then ... it just went on and on . To think of it , who would talk like that ... other than foreigners . Nice meeting u , Baker .

Before that , Cityhall was like packed , thanks to some TV show . They were filming ... and trust me , everyone there was like attracted by the hosts and a stupid looking stage . Then the people were dumb ... they moved like nobody's business ... There were a few lanes , and some for moving towards and the other against the traffic flow . The people there just wanted to move and move ... so they cut into each other's lane , thus causing some human flood . Stupid Singaporeans ... so , i stood there like a stone , trying to roll my way through ...

Thanks to Raymond , for the birthday gift he got me yesterday . Its a nice looking keychain thingi without the chain ... It got my name encarved unto this acrylic thingi ... Its nice , thanks .

Had some fun in the dressing room with the guys of MDC . I think they are a fun lot ... And here i am again , mixing with people who are older than me , its time i should mix with people my age . Anyway , we celebrated RuiXiang's birthday . Happy birthday to him . And ... then we laughed and talked about the same things ... the opium and cereal jokes , the Buddha Chants ... and others .

The performance was so bad that i think somebody heard one of the audience said that they regretted coming . Well , too bad for them ... and worst for the orchestra , imagine that we have to play for this musical for 3 days ... such embarrassment ... ?

Sorry that my blog is slimming down by alot , its because that nothing special and stuff took place . Events were ... the same and stuff ... And i cant think much even with train of thoughts in my head ... Well , its just flooding ...

Late

I know its like too late to blog , but its because yesterday , i was really too tired to even blog , so u can imagine how tired i am . I came home from the hospital at around 2am , then i couldnt even move already ... i quickly changed , laid on my bed and on some music ... then there i go , into dreamland ...

Class was fine ... DrKan asked me to present some questions and stuff ... very dumb , i didnt know what to do . I kept calling her madam , then she'll call me sir ... really sarcastic . Then there was local art scene ... then DrTan brought us to visit this gallery , near the school ... Its a gallery featuring HanSaiPor's art works . She's really weird looking , old and so frail . She looked so fragile , but maybe its because of her appearance , her art work seemed so magnificent . She is a sculptor , and she obviously ... creates sculptures . Her charcoal art works are also ... good . Samuel was so evil ... he couldnt stop himself from laughing at her appearance . Well , for me , i think its kinda funny too , but at least i controlled myself ... but when i see Samuel laughing , its like ... so funny , so i had to look away somewhere to draw away the attention .

Well after classes ... i had to go to the Esplanade . The performance was fine ... better than what ive expected , maybe because the ShaoLin people finally showed their full force , its kinda interesting ... I think the audiences were kinda amazed by the skills and stuff ... but for us , we think its kinda not worth it to pay so much to watch this kinda nonsense . The starting was kinda interesting ... there was this mist thingi that they created on stage . I think the orchestral pit is the worst place to be in ... because the mist from the stage , travelled all the way into the pit , creating something like a fog ... really dumb . I was laughing away ... too bad the GuanYue section cannot see , only some of the XuanYue and the TanBo could .

Benedict made a mistake by saying the word cereal in chinese , mixing up with the chinese word of opium . Because the China people were smoking opium at that time , and its part of the plot that there's this scene when people were smoking opium , and they got caught and stuff ... So imagine if they were drinking cereal instead of smoking opium ... Its kinda dumb , but its really kinda funny .

MajTay is really funny .

Before the performance , everyone was like slacking away in the dressing room , talking nonsense , and passing the chips around . Then Moses helped me adjusted my cufflings ... then , Louis was taking some erotic pictures ... then , YanHao was distracting MajTay outside ... Because we were all talking behind his back , and he was just outside . YanHao does everything , kinda amazing ... Then we even planned to play a fool during the Buddha Chant section .

After the performance , i rushed down to the hospital . Because , Dad's condition isnt that good . This time , the doctors discovered a tumour in his head , dunno isit brain . Well , later i'll be going down again . He has to go through another surgery . Jane left home for a while , i accompanied him . We talked about the musical , some barley thingi ... then also some music thingi , dunno why . Then he was tired ... he smiled , at least thats what i wanna see . Well , like ive said ... im not sad , and i know somehow he ... isnt really really that sad too . He looked really worried ... and wheneva we are quiet ... i'll pick up another topic , or else im afraid that he would start thinking about nonsense ...

Now im listening to LuHeng's compositon ... the Three Tranced Mice .

Well , im late . Late for ... ? Late for everything .