Free Man

In your eyes, i am over-sensitive, biased and petty. In my eyes, u are a good friend.

Ive changed in every way that u would have wished when we're close. I do not ask u what you're doing and what you're planning to do. I do not disturb u when u are practicing. I do not expect my messages replied instantly and moreover, i do not even call or message you that often anymore. I do not force you to have lunch with me. I do not give comments anyhow infront of you. I do not criticise or make fun of your 'weakness', which ever you think that i often do. And from that day on, i do not want to have any relation revolving around money with you. And what does all this lead to? It leads to our situation now. This predicament is all the result of your requests and demands. As for me, we might be closer than before if i were to stay as i am. But then again, its not you've wished for. Well, i hope you're alright with it as it is with me. Im glad that we managed to solve our previous problem before landing into such a state today. Why? Because i would prefer to start all these anew. Like now, fresh.

We have one more date to complete. That day would be the 28th of August, if my memory serves me well. I hope you'll keep your end of the bargain. Anyway it doesnt cost you much to just clear one day out of your extremely busy schedule. You have almost 3 months to do whateva you wish without having me in a part of anything.

As for me, holiday is the equivalent to ennui and boredom. I have to plan what to do for a few months. Though i do have 2 concertos bugging me, nagging at the back of my mind, i have to focus also on my vague future. I have some plans, though they arent properly laid out like others, which cause me to worry for they are subjective to large changes. Time cant solve everything, because procrastination will stroll along everytime.

Finally, ive graduated from NAFA. Wait, still kinda early to announce it so because i might have failed my other modules. Im very worried for my History and Counterpoint. I cant remember from whom, but somebody did mention that the results for History are rather negative. As for Counterpoint, im rather sure that with a zero for my Invention im going to score a very low pass or either a high fail. Imagine, a high fail? Still a fail.

Now, im already missing school. My friends tell me that i'll miss school next time when i step out into the society. True enough, its already working its way into my heart. It aches for firstly our dear lecturers, who have been so kind to us for the 3 beautiful years in NAFA. Secondly, for my friends who will be missed surely. However, time left its scars and wounds. Some are fresh and leaves quite an impact in my life. This wounds however hurt most at parts which cannot be seen. This scar will follow me throughout my life. Mistakes or bad relations, i cant be sure. But either way, all the good memories will assuage the negative ones. This memory will do me no good if i were to keep dwelling in the past. Stop digging for useless thoughts. For those who has done me wrong, ive already forgiven them the day after. However, it is up to them to make the first approach if they've opened up themselves for a new friendship. Things can start again. Not as good as before definitely, but on the other hand at least its still there. Ive forgiven and, fortunately or unfortunately, ive forgotten too.

Life is great and filled with promises. I have to look further for the grass is indeed greener on the other side. Its time to jump over the fences and out of my comfort zone. Its time to serve the nation and over the hills lie a stretch of meadow with grass undulating in the gentle breeze.