My Mentors

Once awhile i'll flip through my dairy only to refresh myself of my present state. It brings back memories of the past and how things squirmed its way to the present. Tears of joy and tears of pain, both equally balanced throughout my life. There were times that i felt utterly hopeless and helpless yet there were times that i couldnt be more grateful. Life is a wonderful thing, i hope everybody cherish it in the end, because its the process that makes it beautiful.

Reading my past entries, theres only one thing i can conclude. I was very childish. This shows that i've grown in terms of my thinking and my perspective towards everything else. Im glad that theres such a day when i'll scan across the surface and come to a point of realisation. Ive grown! Ive matured! Im no longer how i was and how i thought i was. In a few years time, i'll see this entry and most probably laugh my ass off. But, its life! Thats how it should be!

Theres one thing i can confirm which i've never changed. I love my orchestra, CSCO. And there is another thing which i can confirm. I have never really liked my school, ACS.

These few month had been tough for many of my friends who were closely related to the deceased, David and RuiXiang, who were both unfortunately involved in car accidents. Theres nothing i can say to lighten up the mood, neither do i wish to unconsciously hurt anybody else. I am as shocked as any others and affected. But through the darkness and the storm, the rainbow eventually comes. Only through these stages in life can we all grow stronger. Realisation only comes when unexpected remorse knocks at our door. They've planted a beacon of light, and now we must nurture it and watch it grow. Its just the first step, because it'll be what they'll want us to be. No sorrow, no sadness and no more tears. We'll go on, doing things in a changed way, for the sake of our friends and ourselves. Cherish everything else around u more than usual, because u'll never know when one day they'll take the nearest exit out.

Its been a long time since i had such an orchestra practice at CSCO. When i was there today, i smiled because it brings back nostalgic feelings. That is exactly what they would have hoped for. Lets work harder and make this concert a successful one as usual! Just like any post CSCO concert, we'll rejoice and celebrate for our effort with a fantastic retreat camp. I'll be looking forward to that, hopefully before i enter into the army.

I also have to thank Mike, Zheng LaoShi, who has nutured me and along with other musicians. Sometimes i would wonder if he dislikes what im doing outside. I have quite a few performances outside and personal engagements. Back then, i'll let him know what im doing. Recently, i feel that i should just update him with important ones, small performances dun really matter. When i approach him, he'll give me advice and guidance to my problem. He knows best when it comes to dealing with political affairs, because he is experienced with relating with others while im still a greenhorn. No matter what, i hope he knows that i'll never do anything that will go against my committment though at times i have to bear through all the horrible comments which pokes hard into my flesh. Its alright, as long as i know what im doing and i know that im free of guilt, im fine. But, do they know that im innocent? That im not sure, and i can only live by faith that im free of guilt and ive done no wrong to deserve any prejudice. This happened before with YuJia, Yu LaoShi, and i really dun wish for anything like that to happen again. I was stupid and too kind to let things backfire against myself. YanYu, Yan LaoShi, told me to just let things go naturally and i shouldnt confront YuJia because it'll make things worse. Well, in any ways, its a small thing, but its serious to me because we're all under the Pipa family and if things are uneasy between all of us, then how are we going to survive together? Anyway, Jessica, LuJie, told me that things like that do happen. She's right. Other than Mike, ive never seen any other teacher who cares for his or her students so much. Maybe ive never seen the world, but for all ive seen, thats what i think. YanYu cares for me too, and Mike cares for me in a different way. Today, he asked about my army enlistment and that came to me in a shock. It was rather random, and it came to my mind that hes actually gave time to think about me! Sometimes, miracles do drop by once in awhile. He's willing to help. I better not say anymore... just in case. I guess its important to have teachers like that in ur life, it motivates u. I wanna thank Jessica, Mike and YanYu for inspiring me! To a certain extent, YuJia too. Love them all!

Now i may sound as patriotic as the people of the republic of China. Thats how i feel, if that aint quite truthful enough for u to accept, thats probably u have ur personal opinion which clashes with mine. In any ways, everybody has their own rights to feel and think how they want. Im not preaching or hoping that everybody will feel like i do, but i hope people would reflect abit on how ur teachers have influenced u throughout the years. Everybody's life is different and i dunno much about anybody else except for myself. So, thats all i have to say for myself.

In many years time, i'll look back again to this very day and probably laugh out loud. My perspective of things may change throughout the years, but im sure of my feelings for CSCO and ACS. Somethings here will remain the same and never change too while i might think twice on others. I think i know already what it is.

Continue to enjoy good things which life can offer! Dun live to regret. Live to rejoice!