History

Its already 2 weeks in NAFA already ... i think ... i still got that sense of lost ... not lost in NAFA , or music ... just lost in time . Im gonna spend my precious 3 years here studying something im not sure whether i can apply in my performances in the future ... Everyone said go China ... but ... my standard is so poor ... theres no way i can even get through the audition there ...

There is a computer lab where i can use the computer to go online ! However , there is no MSN . So sad ... But at least i can go on Friendsters more often and maybe i'll start blogging if i have time ... or else i'll be typing reports and journal entries ...

Im freezing here in NAFA ... its so cold ... especially level 1 . Im wearing double layers everyday ... and maybe will an extra sweater . Its an ACS sweater that i bought 5 to 8 years ago . Its an 'S' size . Obviously i cannot wear it , but i still can use it to keep myself warm . I found it recently in my drawer , under piles of under-sized clothings ...

Im such a good boy . I cleared my books and cleaned my room ! But ... its still dusty and still kinda messy ... but ... bravo for the job well done ... at least ...

A dull colour painted my moods over these few weeks . The thought of starting from scratch really put me down to where i was before . The concepts , the notions , the ideas and the plans were all different now . Somethings just come naturally like how a chord should sound , but now everything is theoratical . Everything now becomes a study or forms of studies on a random topic . Animals ... lets say eagles ... we know that they have lighter bones and feathers which enable them to soar higher in the sky , they have claws for tearing their preys , they have good eye-sight for spotting poor little rabbits ... but , does the eagle know that it has all that ability ? No , things just come naturally ... Only dumb-bells like Human will complicate things and make things more sophisticated then it already is . Human just wanna reach higher , find ever-ending knowledge to everything , to find the wisdom that they seek ... meaning ... nothing will ever satisfy their thirst for their quests and exploration . Everything that we are studying now are things that are discovered or created from the past ... theories ... concepts ... formulae ... notions .

Im stating this in a very informal tone by the way ...

My point is ...

Its all Mozarts and that who-ever's fault ! If they were to pick up ballets and dancing ... there wont be a need for us to study music now ! And its so bloody confusing some of the stupid concepts ... But if they havent done something like that ... there wont be much about music that will attract us to study it ... How i wish im the creator of music ... then i can whateva i want ...

I'll always leave my lectures with aplenty of stars shining around me ... My eyes will go blur and i'll see plenty of stars going around ... Because im a shining star ! Joking ... its because i dun understand the lecture sometimes ... when they talk abt whateva violin concerto ... then trios ... then some Schubert ... or Beethoven and stuff ... then whateva 1689 to 1735 or something or some musical events ... or some italian opera houses ... some chorale ... or some church music ... or maybe some french overtures ... some scherzos ... or some suites ... And of course ... the Bachs ... J.S.Bach , and plenty of his sons of brothers or fathers ... all the Bachs ... so many !

We are history . We are in fact creating history for the future . I will do something that will let the people in the future to study about ! Make them suffer ! Study my works ! Study me as a character , a musician , a composer or such ...