Ranting

This is it.

It'll be something that u'll find urself filled with nothing but an experience of my predicaments.

It has been a really long time since i rant about something, or in fact, anything in my blog. Updating as been an issue hardwired into my brain, but it has ceased and dwindled into a mere dumping spot for alternative solution to ennui and boredom. As some of u may be aware, ive been indulging into the aesthetic pleasure of book reading, smelling, tasting, hearing and caressing. U will also discover, if u can read beyond the horizons between the lines, that ive planned certain steps to preclude the threats to my endangered habitat.

Yes, my life is in danger! It has been under the fulmination of future belligerence. This combativeness has already drowned me with hints, tints and pints of them. Of which, comes in different hues and density. However, these can be avoided easily. How? As u may usually do, hide away from the embarrassment of a confrontation, brush up a thicker mask or probably, just feign ignorance. But, i think admitting to ur mistakes and facing the music is the most direct way of criticism. It comes from the first party, being urself! Thus, it saves the faux pas or some social blunder which will inevitably fall into place as long as u remain consistently, congruously still driving through ur life with all stubborn stains.

Do not be mistaken! Im not pointing my fingers on anyone here. Who wishes not to thrive? Not to flourish in any sense? Ive successfully grown and developed in size, and some may thirst to boom in height. But, thats not what im talking about exactly. Im being honest to myself, and i do not intend to put myself in a brighter light as to others. However, i do hope that those talents out there will realise what other possibilities that lie ahead of them, other than to blindly follow the first blind mice. Arnold Schoenberg, damn this uniformity right? Though i may not want to sound rude, and i know i am, but i have to really damn this uniformity about following rules, laws and orders. I hate to be told what to do. Though i detest more to admit that i have to.

Ive been questioned, probably u might wanna shoot urself in the head too, what isit that u are best with. It doesnt necessarily has be something that u must be the top as with others, but most importantly that what isit that u do best, as compared to ur abilities. Talented or not, that really lies in the eyes of others. As for urself, i think u should work hard on the second top, of course constantly pumping iron on the first.

I reflected for weeks. It was a chance to make new friends at NoiseSingapore. My partner, Edwin, is from SingaporePoly. Its quite a small world that we have many friends in common. Let me introduce him to u guys. He is currently pursuing his final year at SP for the music programme. Pardon me, im still not very sure what it is about. All i do know that it focuses more on music technology, production and not so much on performance. Joyce, my fellow orchestra mate at CSCO is a classmate of Edwin. Alright, probably ive done a bad job introducing him. When i get to know him better, throughout this 8 weeks, i'll talk more about him with u guys.

Anyway, that night, i headed down to the ArtsHouse. It was the hall which i tested with some other musicians before it was officially opened. Some of u might have caught some performances there. I did, and its quite a unique experience. We headed there once with the class to catch the 'Singapore Gaga'. But, its the performance hall which stands out most to other performance stages. Anyway, back then a friend of mine, i cant remember his name, invited me to catch his performance. It was free, and it provided refreshments too. I enjoyed it very much, and i do hope that i will get a chance to perform there. Well, enough of the ArtsHouse. The event was held at the EarshotCafe. Inside, its very cosy. It brings warmth, and the cafe is structure in a way that it makes socialising with people easy and flirting easier. I took a seat, grabbed a bite and breathed the ambience.

Edwin was then introduced to me. Jessica, or LuJie, came and we sat together, it took us some time to break the ice. She briefed us about our projects, and hers, mostly on the approaches that she'll take. Of course, the apprenticeship allows us to interfere into her project to experience the actuality in the music industry. Nothing really exciting, but its big time interesting. Edwin and i will have quite abit to worry about...

I found my shackles loose later in the week. Im freed from the clutches of academic studies. However, that means ive alot more to fulfill after the week, which im suffering now. In a few days time, i have to submit another essay prior to my first critical reflection. I carry a blase attitude towards essay writing, because im usually unorganised, stuck and lost. However, what lifts my spirit to draft my work would be the beautiful DrTan.

How i adore her! O beauty, u see not into my deepest desire. My heart holds much secret. Lo, my love swells with passion and hungers for ur touch. O please my lady, please touch and mark my essays! As clear as the river water, as pure as the morning dew and as innocent as the sleeping child. My heart sings for thee, a song, a melody of love. O beloved, most adored, read me the first paragraph of Sadie or play me a clip from the DVD. I love it! O how much i love it! U cannot deny my love, u cannot! I forbid thee!

See, ive actually some talent in script writing.

I went for some soul searching after Andy's recital last night. I headed to Orchard with Mark and Christoven. Before so, i looked into my bank account. Im astonished. I should just diminish back into the depth of my blanket and hide forever. Im broke, im poor and im worthless. The problem aint the amount inside, its the sum missing! How did it disappear? Im amazed.

In the state of shock, i followed Christoven to Orchard. I managed to hunt down a book at Borders. Ive bought 3 books previously by this author. His books are mainly with psychological behaviours. Not mainly on physical cues, it includes analysis and explanations for the uses of metalanguage as well. Ive finished reading on human relations, and currently, im embarking on another journey into the language of writing. It seems that i need much improvement to bring style into my blogging as well, need i not?

But somehow, im quite positive that my writing has a punch. It raises questions in the head, brings about uncertainty and most of all, it feeds u curiosity. So much that, it makes u wanna read on. There u go, it has this bite. U realised how my simple effective the use of short isolated words are? It is familiar to all. Lets cut to the chase, nobody really enjoys reading something that rebukes, chides and rants non-stop about their daily activities. Such contradictory! Im always talking about me, me and me! But, one thing i did do was to interact with u guys. As u may have already found out, i do use quite a generous number of 'u's to refer to the readers. This brings some purpose for them to think and to show empathy. I hate reading blogs which goes on talking about their activities, without being critical about their thoughts. Though ive failed answering DrTan's questions about critical thinking in class, im actually quite reflective. Im just not confident answering them. Thats not the point, i just hope that people would blog without using jargons and terms which only their body bug would comprehend.

Be more friendly! Thats it, be more friendly.

I apologise for its been too long since i last updated my blog. It wouldnt be too much to ask for, especially since im used to blogging chunks and chunks of junk. Some might find this place a paradise, booty call or even a piece of crap. I do prefer the latter ironically.

I shant tire u out.

Herein, lies the perfect ending for a soft cadence.