The Road Ever Goes

Such problems are not mine to settle. In fact, ive never stepped over the line once. It reminded me of my role as India in the conflict in SriLanka. I must admit that im not very strong with social science and studies, so... somehow, an unappreciated peace treaty turns horrendously into a snowy war. Whateva it is, things are turning down and doors are closing for me.

I woke up in the afternoon. I had to rush out of house, take a cab down to catch the bus. The bus should have left on time, or else i could have taken my own sweet time. Anyway, its my bad, so nevermind. Ive to return back into my sad and lonely schedule after today. Its Sunday, but im sacrificing it for an event outside, which doesnt interest me at all. Well, most importantly, im willing. So, i managed to make it on time, and we were gathered there early for a briefing before heading for buffet dinner.

The performance was an experience, indeed. Its an outdoor performance, by the pool, and under this little tent which leaves a quater of the orchestra outside. I was hoping that it'll rain, but i figured that it'll be worse... because the orchestra might be cut down to just a few, and im sure i'll have to play. Anyway, im sharing the score with a LiuQin. Alvin and YanJun sat behind, and they held the Pipa scores. So, i had to play on memory and figure somethings out from the LiuQin scores. Yes, there was a microphone for me. Well, i shared some thoughts with Alvin. Told him about myself and how i coped with CSCO, also mentioned about some Pipa players to him. He seems ignorant to such issues, but well... ignorance is a bliss! Dinner was alright, i enjoyed the free flow, the conversation with friends and pigging out leftovers.

We were seated, the night flown smoothly, with not much changes. During our interval, we were allowed to go wash up, drink and rot about. Some were chatting, laughing and some were shouting about. It was really fun to imagine how life would be if i was to grow up in a more neighbourhood surrounding.

The performance ended finally, with a picture taken with the president. He had a sense of humour. Its my first time seeing him up close, other than those pictures in the bank or ministry and sort. Im glad that we packed up and headed back home. I took another bus, which would drop the NYP students, who borrowed their instruments to this CSCO event. How generous. They're a helpful lot, always joking and never fail to amaze me with their bonding. But well, i was skeptical about that last time, not getting used to their eccentricity, but im fine now... more or less. I walked with them to their studio and helped with the instruments. After that, we all left together for the MRT station. It was crappy talking to them, and it ended my day on a softer note.

I live near NYP, so i walked home. Just took a quick shower, to wash away the weariness and ennui. Im feeling much better, blogging away and still thinking of things to talk about. I know these few days, ive been rather emotional with my words. If u were to think, blogging is about making those frozen words come to live, aint it so? The mood when i blog, is different from how some reader would perceive, so its hard to transmit this so called emotions to the readers. Nobody would understand how i feel exactly, but somehow... u'll get the picture as we sing along.

I realized that signs are showing. Its the keen sense of awareness. My senses are acute but my actions arent. I can tell that a dark road grows beyond my sight. What would i have, when all lights turn out on me? Friends? Family? Money? I cant rely on any, except for myself. Im so helpless at times, i need my own shoulder to give myself assurance. Im pathetic. Good night.