Horror

I feel that sometimes , the further u get away from ur enemies , the closer they'll get , somehow ... Things are not always revolving around u only , u know ? Dun think that the world there's only u , i know u said that once to me , but please , its obvious that it should apply on u , instead of me . We are not here to entertain or accompany u , or to make life easier for u . We are not toys . However , those who chose to play along and entertain them and make their lives more interesting , they are just rats , who follows the piper . If they are so elated to be one of their dull paint , for they so seldom use for a picture , then let it be ... let it be ...

What are my intentions of saying all that ? No intentions actually , no implication too ... just indirectly using lots or puns .

That horror girl in my class has stopped her dirty cruel messages already , and i feel so glad . Or ... maybe its tension building still ... then a final blow when the time is ripe . So after all ... its eventual ? This girl in my class claims that she is the most beautiful girl , with long hair too , and she claims that she love me . I really dun understand , which part of love does she actually understands at all ... ? Her definition of love should be of those who will murder then suicide just to be with someone together forever . This horrible girl in incorrigible . Her attitude is very bad , not only with a black heart , she has intentions and cruel ideas that she think its good for me , but actually its ruining my life . She wants me friendless , so that i'll only have her in my heart . That is simply childish . Anyway ... ive stored all her 75 messages in my phone . Yanya reported to Adams about this case already . I thought finally im in a nest full of my kind , but who knows ... there are always problems somewhere even when its the safest place to be . My friends , not just that horror , are turning weird too . Honestly , i shall not mention names , i dun really like this person too . Its just weird , the character , the behaviour , and the way this person stares at me or talk to me , i just dun feel very comfortable . Im starting to hate people in my class ... though some are funny , but sometimes its just too annoying and irritating . Not to mention the word 'mean' , this group just seem to love being mean to others , though not physically ... but sometimes psychologically or mentally ... or verbally . Vilifying others behind their backs ... However , i would love to always talk to Fhairil about his and my problems ... Sometimes , somethings are just meant to be said at that specific moment , then forgotten the next . I hate to see quarrels ... i must say that this place im in is totally too messy . Its chaotic due to the different type of people in class ... there are too many who arent the type that i am , or the type that we are . People who are too matured , impatient , bossy , boring and political ... or more ... These bunch just shouldnt mix . Its chaotic .

Im rushing with my work . Actually im quite surprised why im doing better than some who studied music ... or had their music education before . Maybe starting from fresh somehow has its advantages . Now i have my new computer , i assembled everything myself , i can many things . I can start to print my notes ... type and organise my notes . And even go online ... this time ... ive locked my computer ... nobody can use it . There are many things that one should have , without them , life in this era just wont seem right .

Yanyu says that im improving ... but i just dun feel it ... somehow i think something is missing ... somewhere ... somehow . Samuel invited me to his booklaunch , so exciting ... but dunno who i'll be seeing there ... hopefully not that bunch . Im going to play a duet with YouGuo soon after he comes back from his competition in HongKong . Stress ... not him ... but me . Hope that he will be patient ...

I really dunno what to do now . I need a proper time management . Im passing each day has it comes . I need serious planning for my time ... im losing time if it keeps on going like that ... Theres sure a way that i can start being organised . A new bag , computer ... that really helped alot already . Ive even made my own address book in the computer for all my friends numbers and stuff ...

That April still havent called me ... is she gonna make me sign the contract or not !? Wasting my time ...