Stupid Old Man

I broke my record ! I took the initiative today , finally . I felt kinda bad and embarrassed when i saw all the old folks , they were doing much better . I didnt care much , but i felt inferior . It cost me my life , and im so tired . Beat out totally ...

School was normal , except that i had to show Dr.Kan my portfolio , when actually i did almost nothing . I felt so bad ... it seemed like ive done so much , but actually i havent . Im tired ... Today , we watched DVD during performance class ... lucky i dun have to play .

Had a last minute performance , called by QiaoFang . She brought me to ZhengHe , the so called ship that so many people talked about . QiaoFang , JiaBin and i played in boat number 2 , while XinTian and gang played at boat 1 . I was so stressed , i had to come up with the accompaniment , simply by improvisation , and i only had the main melody score . I was so stressed , JiaBin played so loudly , dunno why my Pipa sound so soft over there ... think its the acoustic problem . After the performance , we had free buffet on the boat . Its not nice at all ...

I went to SCH to catch the concert by YanHuiChang , i got free ticket . But i was there to really just catch HuangGuiFang's SanXian concerto ... Then michelle dragged me around when i saw her during the intermission . I managed to watch the concerto , but i didnt really like it , not like what ive expected . SCO is really getting poorer , its really far lower than my expectations , maybe its because i heard too much of western music ... somehow chinese music is like inferior in some sense . The SCO is transforming into a western chamber-like orchestra , lacking the qualities of the taste of a chinese orchestra . The cripsy and accented , strong moving melodies with affectionate harmonies , its all missing . The SCO is really lacking in alot , all thanks to YehTsung ? Maestro Yeh has really brought the chinese orchestra to another boundary , another line . He had crossed the limits , and now , SCO is falling deep into the pit . SCO's music is messy , not moving , not strong enough . I cannot feel the accents and the forces of the orchestra , its really that bad , just like before . Ive only watched like 4 SCO concerts , and this is the forth , i wont really wanna catch another one again , except for YangWei's , because i want to attend his masterclass !

I went into the staff area , the passage leading to the musician restroom , then i was standing there looking at the programmes of the upcoming concerts . Then came one stupid ErHu player , ChenJinLian ... isit ... the old man . He then asked me what instrument i play , in a sarcastic tone , like as if im from SCO , then i was holding my Pipa in hand , i said , "Pipa ... ?" . He then said that he havent seen me before , and why i can come into this area . Please , stupid old man , u cant even play ur ErHu properly , im sure that one day u'll be unable to come into that area too , because u'll be out of SCO ... and by the way , i dun even know who u are ... i thought ur the cleaner . Stupid old man , stupid fucking old man . Fucker ... bloody fool ... lousy noob , cant even play ur ErHu , u think i didnt notice how u struggle with the semiquavers ? U look like a dead rat , a retarded one even ... stupid old man . Stupid ChenJinLian ... shut the fuck up please , and try to think hard on how to survive in SCO , and think about where ur gonna beg for money after ur gone from SCO . Think hard old man !