Quiet Moments

Pimples , lumps , scars and ugly infections ... its irritating . The weather was as ugly as one ... and the other , was as ugly as my mood . A total of 2 now ... great . Now how am i going to get rid of them ? Im so fed up ... well ... sorry , today was a great day , how about u ?

Woke up feeling bad . Felt this pain in my stomach , like those slight ones ive felt a few days ago . Got this miserable feeling ... like back in those days when i lost something precious . Im not taking about my virginity , im talking about my mood ... Anyway , woke up feeling slight pain in my throat , and i dare not cough ... because i know the consequences . I told my uncle im not going to school ... and then , i fell back into my bed , and enjoyed the sunset behind my eyelids ...

The next thing i knew , im sweating like a pig . Why ... ? Do pigs sweat alot ... ? Nevermind that , but i was sweating ... because i switched off my air-con earlier on , i didnt remember doing so . I woke up irritated , because i didnt get enough sleep , or either ... it isnt sweet enough . I dunno why , i'll often end up in a very bad mood wheneva i dun get enough sleep . Its common ... ? Yes . So , i turned on my computer , and i headed to freshen up myself at the toilet ...

Typed in my password , which is ... wont tell u guys , some may know already ... thanks for peeping . Signed onto MSN , and wondered why there wasnt anybody from school online . Then , i thought ... right , there's school today , and im home enjoying my leave . I cannot afford to waste a day like that ... or if i have to retake another module like last year , that'll be bad ... so , maybe i shall go see a doctor .

Went downstairs , took my number ... and went for lunch first , since the doctor was busy . So , i ate ... and grandma's friends were all treating me like some kinda prince . Because they think im a very good boy ... and stuff ... which i think i am ... ? So this auntie treated me to a drink ...

Just found out that the doctor is called ... DrYap . She is very nice ... Though my stomachache wasnt somehow like some major problem , just a slight one , she managed to convince me that it might be some serious infection ... like stomach flu or even something worse ... which is in some scientific term ... i dunno , cant remember . She told me to lie on this couch , then she pressed my tummy ... and she asked whether it hurts . At first i thought ... come on , its only a stomachache ... then the next thing i knew , it hurts alittle . Then she told me many things ... like DrKan ... then i had to keep probing questions to understand what shes telling me . So many things ... about how the body work ... and why this and that ... and that ... and this ... Then , i complained to her about the pimples , she told me that its a cyst , which is a small anatomically normal sac or bladderlike structure . Its abnormal of course ... and she said that she'll prescribe me this cream to apply on ...

Great i just reminded myself to apply the cream ...

Anyway , DrYap then asked where am i going after NAFA , isit China ... ? I was shocked ... she remembered where i was studying , because im her only patient who studies music ... Then she talked to me ... and her smile was so ... beautiful . She is a nice lady ...

After the consultation , those nice words ... and those free lessons didnt come for free . It cost me $25 ... which i thought was quite ... alright ...

Went home and quickly did nothing . Applied the cream once ... and it felt slightly ... sensational ! It was burning ... and it felt like mint .

Really wasted my day in my room composing ... and listening to some old compositions . Then just had dinner , cooked myself ... i mean , noodles . Now im bloating ... I just realised that ive gained alot of weight . And its time to lose them again ... well , i manged to lose like 10kg last time . Thats because ... i had some depression problems ... Now , im a happy boy , so please allow me to gain back what ive lost . Im joking ... i cant wait to give them away . Skinny people please initiate urselves ... and come get some weight .

I changed my blog song , yes ... if u noticed ... Its by Ryan Cabrera , and i first thought based on first impression that he is another young untalented singer . But who knows ... i was ... right . But somehow he has his own personal style , which somehow has this lethargic feeling lingering in his voice . I think im gonna be stupid , like usual , and go buy both of his albums .

I asked why people are so willing to pay so much for something like access-course ? And Jeremy told me that he needed it ... Well , i heard about it before , but i didnt come because ... it was already too late , and i didnt wanna waste the money for the course . I thought ... if im good enough , i think i should rely on myself on getting in . So , if i cant , then maybe its fate that i cant do music . So ... thats it . I think the course is ... very expensive and its somehow useless . The people study music theory ... and i dun think its quite necessary to start all over from grade 1 . For me , when i signed up , my audition was like ... one month away only . By right , its only like one day ahead , but luckily i managed to change the date ... or else it'll be like , totally shocking . Anyway , i managed to study my grade 1 to 5 within a month , before my audition . And of course , im noob ... and i think i failed my audition exam . But like what Adams said , there isnt any reason why i shouldnt be accepted just because that i dun have a grading for my theory . And i am still very thankful for that .

Flashback to the audition day . I remembered playing some horribly low grade song , but of course i managed it well ... i guess . Then i had aural test ... MrsPhua tested me , she is the head of keyboard ... Anyway , i could sing whateva she played ... then when it comes to the counting , i did one wrongly ... maybe it was kinda hard to hear . So ... thats about it . During the papers ... it was DrKan , who looked so much like a student or an administrative staff . Because ... she is really young , and she was so ... nicely dressed , and she had this decent look , which she still has . Then i spent 15min removing this tape on my pencil ... which i just bought at the bookshop . It was really dumb ...

Anyway , to think of it ... DrKan is really beautiful , but too bad she doesnt make an effort to bring it out . She hides it behind the old same formal dressings everyday ... She could have been the next MsSingapore . She is a really serious lecturer ... and she is so knowledgable ... I think she is too smart , and for that ... i dun think she can find someone smarter than her to be her husband . She represents the stronger women ... and she'll beat every men that walks the surface of the earth ... scary ! And yes , that ribbon ... its time to get a new one ... ?

A little information on DrKan here ... extracted from Googles ... and i know a million of u has already seen it ...

Rebecca Kan received her musical education in Singapore and the United Kingdom . She began Piano studies at the age of five . At thirteen , she obtained a FTCL diploma in Piano performance . She went on to complete her academic music education at the University of Liverpool . After graduating with an outstanding first-class BA honours , Rebecca undertook postgraduate research with Professor Michael Talbot on Antonio Vivaldi . Her research findings on concerto slow movements have been presented in a number of papers , including the 33rd Royal Musical Association Research Students' Conference and the 9th Biennial Conference on Baroque Music . Rebecca's doctoral dissertation , The Concerto Adagios of Antonio Vivaldi , was completed in 2003 with support from the National Arts Council of Singapore , the University of Liverpool and United Kingdom's Scholarships for International Research Students . Rebecca is a winner of Piano awards in the 8th National Music Competition of Singapore , the 20th Singapore Music Teachers' Association Competition and the 75th British Federation of Festivals . In 1994, she was awarded LTCL teaching diplomas for Piano and Violoncello . Her principal teacher in Singapore then was Douglas Tan . She later studied with John Gough , Piano Tutor , Royal Northern College of Music , and Hilary Browning , Assistant Principal Cello , Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra at University. As a performer , Rebecca has given many solo , chamber and orchestral concerts on the Piano and Violoncello . Prior to her tertiary studies , she was a Cellist with the Singapore National Youth Orchestra . During her time in England , Rebecca was engaged in solo Piano recitals in the Northwest . She was also invited to perform as a Piano concerto soloist with the Liverpool University Symphony Orchestra in 1997 and the St John's Festival Orchestra of Chester in 2000 . Presently, Rebecca is Lecturer at the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts in Singapore . Did the last sentence just turned u off ... ? Kinda wasted isnt it ... ?

There u go , for people like Matthew who've asked about her ... Stunning isnt she ... ?

Wonder if its possible ... heard many people do it , or did it , or have done it . But i really havent done it myself ... i managed to bring in some similar species , but this time , its hard to bring in another different species . And u might not understand what im ... beating about ... and yes , i dun really know too ...

Tomorrow is the open house for NAFA ... and MrYeo called me in the afternoon and told me to perform ... and so i promised , and its hard to back out now . Its going to be exciting like how Jeremy said it ... goodie bags !

Im a shameful backslider , and i know ive said that many times before . But ... i just cant bear to ... be proud of it ... Well , have faith and keep it strong , for that only through Jesus ... nevermind ... Dun wanna dwell there where some people dunno how i was before ... Maybe people like Bob and Wilson will know ...

Well , long entry for an empty day like that , surprising . Wait , theres more ...

Listened to this Mongolian song , recieved from Stanley . I believe he has many of this weird and yet nice songs . Well , i think Western musical instruments has reached its ... peak , and it is perfect . But i dun see what so nice is a piece of cooked beef . I always prefer it 70% done ... thus , i find the faults in music attractive . Therefore , thats the reason why i picked up a Chinese instrument , for that its sound can bring out several characters , like what Daniel said , which i can totally agree with . Its hard to find somebody who really can ... appreciate the sound of a Chinese instrument , because its not even scientific , so dun even talk about its pitching . Of course , professionals nowadays has made it into a mimic of another Western instrument ... thus trying to close its wound slowly . And thats ... good , but i think if the wound of our Chinese music is closed completely , then it wont differ much from the Western's . But of course , there is always the misconception of Chinese music embedded in the younger generation at birth . Dunno how it got there ... must be some kinda heredity ...

Well , thats it for today . Im bored ... so please understand .

Asked somebody in school to help me collect the handouts ... and there wasnt any reply . But well ... hope somebody did , but i doubt so . My handphone was so quiet today ...

Ive to add on to this ... my uncle made me kinda pissed . He just asked me to write a primary school composition for his friend's child . Great ... i told him how to ... and i told him how to spell this and that ... Then , now he wants me to write . He said just a paragraph about celebrating the new year in Malaysia . Of course ive done that before , but i dunno how it was for them ... and i dunno how did the first few paragraphs went about ... So i told him its kinda impossible . But since he insisted , i managed to write 2 paragraphs for him , and he said its too long . I cannot lower my command of my language to of a primary school standard so suddenly right ... ? Too bad , and he complained that my handwriting is horrible ... and yes i can agree ... then i told him to figure it out himself . Its not right for them to always ask me to do their Maths or English homeworks . Please ! Get a tuition teacher , or i shall start charging .

Ive to add on again ... He told me to sms it over to his phone so he can forward . And i just did ... its fucking irritating . I somehow told him off ... told him to tell them to get a fucking email or something . Anyway , my thumb is tired now ... just burnt a huge amount of calorie !

I forgot to put a full-stop , sorry .

Anyway , not after all these ... i dun think today is quite a quiet moment after all . Its quiet yes , but its noisy like hell inside me . My head is screaming now ... And its ... loud .