A Single Step

Feel so bad now . I think Mom is the only person on earth who is the most 'encouraging' . Im not being sarcastic , but if we look it this way ... she supports me directly with the primary needs of what i wanna do , but she disappoints me with her absence during my performances .

Just watched a movie with SiHan , YongRui and Samuel . This movie is JetLi's last kungfu film ... because i heard , that he's going to become a monk , from YongRui . Anyway , guess that uve already guessed the title of the film , well ... its 'fearless' . And indeed its title shone out at the end of the film as a very strong character of HuoYuanJia . Well ... if thats a real life story , i think its greatly conveyed through this movie . Its setting is back in China , but yet it doesnt have this very strong Chinese taste . It somehow showed the darker side of Chinese history ... I think , its a good movie , but yet i dun think i'll wanna watch something like that again ... because i dun really enjoy watching action films . I would have prefered something like comedy , horror or fiction . To think of it , i think i enjoyed it better than if i should be watching some local film ... u know which one right ... ? But thanks to SiHan , for that he treated me the movie , how very nice of him . And yes , im sucking up to him again ... whateva .

McCafe has proven itself to be a very bad choice for thirsty people . If anybody wanna get a drink somewhere , get it ... seriously from somewhere , never McCafe . I think its ... lousy . Anyway , sorry McDonalds , but i think its the most money-sucking fast food restaurant , as what Stanley said . I dun like McDonald , almost because of Mr Alexis , my Geography teacher back then in ACS ... he showed us how horrible McDonald was , or is . However , its McDonald that i started out with ... and i'll always remember this name .

Asked Mom if she can fetch SiHan and friends home , but she hesitated and then .. she said she has to fetch Kim , my grandma's friend . Well ... thats the truth and it'll be very inconvenient . I felt so bad to leave them there ... but if i do have a car , i'll make sure i tug them in bed before i snore the night away .

Went to the RiverHongBao today . Every year somehow , i'll be there ... And this year , its ... somehow ... nothing special . I called SiHan down ... and he came , good thing . Then we walked around ... I bought some horrible okonomiyaki . That place is a killer ... everything is so expensive . Then i saw Samuel and SiHan eat some jackfruit thingi ... i almost vomitted , especially when i saw Samuel spitting out the seed . I dunno why ... it was so bloody disgusting to me ... SiHan saw my expression , i was nearly about to puke . Then saw some old people riding the new Osim's 'igallop' . Its like ... some really perverted machine . They looked ... sick , and to think of it ... even some people bought it .

Read some really unpleasant stuff about those who were born in the year of the dragon . Well , this year isnt my year , as usual , because that the dragon clashes with the gods . Well ... i dun believe in such nonsense , but there isnt any harm believing in it . Just hope that it doesnt affect my normal way of interacting with something . Because i'll be aware of my luck this year while i work . Ive problems with almost everything . Well ... relationship , career and even studies . It says i must work doubly hard , which i can agree on .

WuShu and music links with a common chain , and i think its called perseverance . Saw the movie , and it greatly reminded me of the reason why i played music . Its never because of competition ... but purely out of love . But reality doesnt work this way , no matter how HuoYuanJia loved WuShu and how he wanted to make others realise its real uses , he has to compete on stage . And winning isnt the most important , its the honor that counts . But there are always many who are like those of the villians , who only wish to watch other's fight till their death , for their own entertainment . Well , if thats of entertainment value , i dun see why there's a need to learn and study so hard for music . Because ... we are only clowns on stage .

And this leads me to today's topic ... on meditation . Well , some may ask what meditation is , but yet they cannot understand its real purpose . Meditation is conscious effort to change how the mind works . And this doesnt mean ... brainwash , it means to think how u wanna think , and not let evil or bad thoughts affect ur thinking . Meditation is important ... no matter how much we may wish to be good , if we cannot change the desires that make us act the way we do , changing will be difficult . Meditation helps to develop the awareness and the energy needed to transform ingrained mental habit patterns . Like if ... one wishes to complete his portfolio on time , like me , and tell himself or herself not to slack any further ... but yet after a few days , without knowing ... he or she is back to his or her regular patterns , meaning not completing his or her work . But , too much meditation is dangerous for the mind . Why ... ? Because like salt , to live we have to eat it , but eating too much , will cause problems in the body . Meditation is essential for our mental health , but practicing the wrong way could cause problems in our mind . Some people has problems like depression , irrational fears or schizophrenia . And the meditate on their problems ... and makes them worse , instead of on the solution to their problems . Meditation is not about comtemplation . So if one practice meditation daily for a few minutes , he or she would notice that they can concentrate better . And mind u , meditation is not sleeping or taking a catnap .

We have all begun a journey . A journey into our minds . A journey of discovery and exploration of who and what we are . Taking the first step is difficult , and in the first days of practice there is often restlessness , or sleepiness , some boredom , laziness and doubts . And perhaps ... regret about getting involved at all . And since its so , always remember that ... a journey of a thousand miles , begins with ... a single step .