Reality

Im retyping this piece of shit ! Fucking blogger .

Mom really got me boiling today . She gave me stupid excuses . I was supposed to be at YiShun Secondary , at about 1:20 . I woke up at 12 . Mom told me there was still time to eat together at Baba's . I knew it if i were to eat with them , i'll definitely be late . Well , in the end i was . To make things worse , Mom still ordered coffee and uncle went toilet . I was really pissed . I almost blew my top , but whats the point .

Mom had no choice but to fetch me to YiShun Secondary . JinYe was supposed to fetch me , but i told her im going myself because i'll be late . JinYe is a teacher in YiShun Seconday , shes really nice . She used to play the Pipa , she also knows quite alot of the CO people . I was practically sitting there the whole afternoon , only rehearsing on stage for a few minutes . I talked to the principal . He asked where was i from . I told him ACS Barker . He was quite shocked ... he said , " Surprising that they have students like u ! ... " The HODs were shocked too . Everybody know how bad are the standards of ACS's chinese . Really bad ... I stayed there to watch the other performing groups . There were chinese dance , they were impressive , they could do splits ! Then there was the Military Band ... and of course the Rock Band . The whole school lives in a totally different world from ACS . Their ' lifestyle ' was totally different . There were Malays singing , im racist i know , but they were different too . The songs they sing , the way the play , the teachers obviously enjoyed themselves . Unlike ACS , the teachers hated those Rock Bands , but yet , its manifested with it .

I took a cab to National Dental Centre after the rehearsal . It cost me $13+ ... painful ... I was wondering what kinda ITE graduation ceremony would be held there ... really weird . I met Michelle there , shes a dentist ... ? Or a dental technician ... ? I went to her lab . It was all filled with those screeching noise ... scary .. reminds me of those nightmares back in ACJS dental clinic . Stupid dentist , hated her ! I noticed a GuZheng , she took a half day leave just to prepare for the ceremony . I told me that shes not really gonna play , she cant remember how to play , so she'll be sitting there and i'll play . I helped her tune her GuZheng , it took me a very long time ... because her GuZheng strings were 10 years old ! Imagine that ... I played at the reception . It was the graduation ceremony of the ITE students who took the dental technician course . There were only quite a few . LeeKuanYew's nephew , Dr.Kuan , was there . He's the ' biggest ' , highest in authority , in that building . We talked quite alot , exchanged views about music and many other things . He presented me a token of appreciation at the reception ... so embarrassing ... took photos too . FannWong's aunt gave me a thumb . Fann's cousin was in the graduating cohort . She's really tall , and really beautiful . I hate Fann though , she sucks . They were a fun lot . The doctors there were all proud of them , and they loved them . I sat throughout the ceremony . Before they start , a lady went on stage to show her appreciation for our music . She said , " Before we begin , lets put our hands together to thank WeiKang and Michelle of their great music at the reception . " Everyone started to clap ... scary ...

As i was waiting for Mom at the Dental Centre , something got me thinking hard . Its the students . They left a scar in my heart . The representative of the class gave a speech previously , her punctuation wasnt clear and er pronunciation was bad . But the point was , that she brought the points of her message acrossed . I felt it strong . It was her sincerity that touched me . She mentioned something called friendship . Even people like them do treasure such thing , not that they're not up to a different standard in society than us , its just that i dun really know how people from ITE are like . ITE , i thought were filled with Bengs and Lians , i was too shallow to think it that way . I respect them now , they earned it . They were more civilised than i am . Im not any better as i stare into their eyes . It got me hard , again , it got me .

Mom really pissed me off today . I didnt blow , almost . I dun wanna even talk about it . Stop bitching about it . Its getting me boiling again ...

Maybe , life isnt that bad after all . To some , the light may shine bright upon their faces , for others , like me , the sun will never shine on mine's . The reasons simple . They face it . I back away from it . Happiness , something we always seeked deem to lie in our goals and hopes and dreams . But its actually lying behind us . Places where we'll never wanna go , places we'll never thought of going . Places where we dream of are actual places where sorrow and sadness lie . Deemed as happiness , its a disguise . Those who were struggling to get there only to find themselves grasped by sadness , drawn into the darkness . Poles-like , some are just meant to go South and some North , those who repel and go against the fields will only find themselves struggling harder than before . I see their bright halos on their heads , the ITE students were cheerful and optimistic towards life . Yet , what am i to do when i do have a higher academic qualification when i cannot find happiness in life . Maybe i should change . My dreams are not in arm's length . They're far ahead . Is that the glowing sunrise that i see ? Or isit the orange sunset ? Many might not know , as they do not look back . We might be facing the setting sun .

No matter how positive we think , how morally right we are , there is always a friction against our thoughts . Its called ' Reality ' . Its tough , its strong and bulky . Its the damn excuses to every reasons why we do what we do and its wrong that we did what we did . Reality , just face it ? Its the only thing thats making us what we are . Reality is evil , its against our desired mindsets . We wanna do right , but its reality that made us do wrong . Whats the point to everything that we do ? Whats the point of doing all rights that we did ? Reality , the only thing , the only excuse to hide from anything . So just face it , its reality .