Bad Start

Somehow we have nothing to talk about , do we ? Ur trying hard to avoid my questions , its because , i know what u know , and i think u should know what i know as well . We are common , and that is , only one thing . Dun have to hide anymore , im pretty sure . Almost so curb again , my predictions . Just dunno why , we dun get along well in private , i'll tend to look away , u'll tend to think of something to say , and i know if u dun , i wont . Its hard to connect ... i must say , its a bad start .

Everything is a bad start , isnt it ? Who has a good start ? Those that do but do not cherish what they had , they will lose all they have . Those that had a good start and went on even further , things will be very successful ... i dunno which kind am i ... but im positive that im a bad starter . It doesnt apply to just music alone , it applies to even relationships , or even understandings . By now , i shouldnt be where i am now ... i should be somewhere further . But , its all blamed on another reality problem that everyone has , its a bad start .

However , things cannot just be pushed to the starting alone . Usually its the progress that changes everthing . Who says that a bad starter will end off badly , who says that a good starter will always be progressive ? Nobody did , and im sure i didnt . Things always look towards to how one thinks , how one's mentality lie . Some may lean towards the positive side , and some may lay somewhere closer to the negative side , it all depends on self character .

I felt better today after coming back from YanYu's lessons . It never fails to motivate me more after every lesson . I cannot think of another teacher better than her ... she is really a blessing . Today we talked about changing my exam piece , and now its set . Its not very difficult ... I like songs which expresses more , instead of running about all the time .

I chatted with Mark during our free time in my practice room . He came in and sat down . He was depressed about his performance one Wednesday , i must say that it wasnt a well prepared performance , just like the Chinese Ensemble . Mark was flat and sharp during the performance , his notes didnt kinda hit the right spot at a few specific parts . However , this is experience , we should look at it like a fortune . Its fortunate that these mistakes come now during the music platform , instead of a real concert . Its concert practice , thats what i call it . Dun take it that seriously , but still u must respect that this is to train us . Its good experience , we play it to our fellow friends , it doesnt matter . If we play it like that to outsiders , how embarrassing will it be ? Anyway , we talked about certain topics , on reality mostly . This reflects how the society thinks , with their very shallow minds . Which is harder ? A fast running piece , or a slow expressive piece ? I would say the latter one , but its fact that its the hardest . For musicians , they would say the slow one . For audiences , they would rather listen to the faster one . Thats factual , people tend to admire or prefer to hear fast running songs , hard and challenging in terms of techniques , but they do now know how to feel the affections carried through the slower songs . Slow songs are easy ? No , i dun think so . There is a reason why a song is slow , and that is , it requires practice on another field , and that is its expressive side . Expressing emotions and affections is even harder . Why ? Because it requires understanding and good techniques of the right and left hand to produce beautiful tonal quality . Mark , dun look down on urself , if u do , who will look up on u ?