Thursday, January 27, 2005

Cadaverous People

I cannot eat at this rate ... should be a little more abstenious ... eat less eat less ...

I complained ... Everytime when my Mom's in town , i'll not be spared from the clutchs of temptation , food . Scary ... Its not that i cant eat , i can , its that i try to stop myself from eating too much . But , usually i would fall for it . Gargantuan meals , im used to it . Its all Mom's fault , partially actually , when i was younger , she fed me with something , some medicine . She thought i might not eat well and stuff ... Now the consequences show , doesnt it ?

So cooling ... i finally opened my window . My room window was shut for at least half a year ... ? I dun like to let air in ... But , today was different . Its about to becoma a sauna . Now its just so cooling ... better than air-con . I cannot sleep in this kinda condition , i'll start to itch , rashes . It was very serious when i was younger , real big patches . Had to use white vinegar to cool myself .

Im really hungry now ... Im going Chinatown again later , like yesterday . Hope i can buy another CD .

Managed to complete another Concerto , Bagpipe Concerto . It sounded too oriental though ... but i think i managed to capture the flavour of the bagpipe .

Strange ... 147 viewed my friendster profile since 12 Jan . So many ... ? Jasmine and ChaiXia had only 30++ . Scary ... ? Happy ... ? Not really ... kinda scared . Bad experiences has left painful lesions in my memory ... embedded inside ... deep in .

I beseeched myself really not to think about it anymore . But ... i think about it everytime i tell myself not to . So , i should just really stop thinking about anything about it at all ... ? Dun ever remind me of anything like that ... including schools , music , teachers , people , orchestras or anything ... its impossible ... so , better not think about anything ... Brain wash me please ...

Reciprocating ... ? Think it is ... It hurts , its painful . I know , so stop it . I know how it feels now ... Do unto others what u want others to do unto u . Many might not get the full impact of this sentence ... some think its vindictive ... some treat it as revenge ... actually its neither . If everyone get the wrong definition of that statement , it'll be a chaotic world . Like it isnt now ... ?

Sigh ...