Monday, January 24, 2005

Denial , Repudiation

Had breakfast with CuiLing , Kenny and Charmaine . We booked out quite early in the morning ...

The porridge was horrible ... My black pants was kinda loose ... the button came out , i managed to survive on the zip alone for quite a period . However , last night it started to go real loose . I had to hold my pants and walk ...

I hate low batteries . My handphone was low on batt , so i had to go over to Kenny's to charge . CuiLing and Kenny practiced for the SYCO practice tonight . CuiLing hurt her toe , what an excuse ...

SYCO practice was kinda scary ... so many Pipa , yet no sound . I went to the practice tonight , actually to eat with Kenny , WanYin and Charmaine after that . But i was there to actually talk to XinTian about some performances too . The standard really dropped alot , from what i heard from WeiFeng .

Some people just hate me , and think that Im there for them , or to get them , or to ' disturb ' them . Well , i dun really care anymore . Ive many other things to do now , its a little late for anything now , so dun dream , its over .

I believe my fervent prayers will never come true . Its inevitable . Acquiesce my apology ... ? Never . Think I'll have to defer a dream ... ? Adjourn my destiny ... ? Guess they'll just never condone such behaviours i have in their friends . Feeling contrite ... ? Guess so ... ? To my chagrin , Ive been rejected over and over again . Guess its fate , like said , worse than being dead .

Rejection , why cant i just accept it ?