Vile It

I think im just lagging behind time . I cannot play properly . Its been 2 years since i last practiced . Im going to screw up , its imminent .

Watched some really boring stuff in Jasmine's house . It was like the worst kinda movie i would watch even if i were to die . Its not a movie actually . Its more like some history lecture .

I winced at the sight of my mistakes . The living proof , the living error i made . I felt kinda sad , ignoble for what I've done . But sometimes i just wonder , does it really deserve such treatment ? Or isit me ? Its toady , arm in arm with everybody and its just soring my eyes . I couldnt take it no more . I might have acted harshly , thinking through my brains . The consequences was what I've expected . Much was deemed retribution . Perpetrated of being the jealous twin ... ? Its a yahoo . I didnt mean to put its back up . But it turned its back upon me . Im on my back . Its glad to see my back . Its the caused of all these bad blood ? The bone of contention ... ? Now its flocking as the crow flies . Birds of a feather flocks together in unison . Vulpine craftiness ...

Some songs really served their purpose . Some are just totally preposterous , the lyrics mean nothing at all . Songs that really touched me are lyrical . The pulse , the movement , the feel , the mood , the words and the cadence really combust into something so meaningful and amazing .

At this stage of my life , im still exploring . Shouldnt i be settled ? Or isit my piscine curiosity ?

As i was in the lift , i was kinda affrightened . I was on the phone , but theres an indian man , around mid 30's , staring at me . I had no idea what it seemed like . But to me , i thought it might be a case of robbery ... ? I let the man walk in front of me , so as to make sure that he doesnt follow me . Decorous ... ? Just thinking on my feet .

I feel that somethings are just stopping me from doing what i wanna do . Things that meant me well ... ? I cant really make any decision on myself , can i ? Nothing i have is truly mine . My plans are made , to go on or to just end it , i believe this time , nothing can stop me from doing what i wanna do . All i hear now is a cacophony of hubbubs in my head . Its screeching , its unpleasant . Call me a knave , i dun take this position for nothing . People might think that its ludicrous , i think its the right thing to do . Theres no point at all to continue what im doing .

Religion . Isit a belief ? Or isit the truth ? I think its neither . Its just stories and folktales passed from the ancestors . People chooses to believe in it coz others do ... ? I'll define it as a different sets of morals and practices . People uses it to shape their own character and to learn and enlighten themselves in someway . It is a guide . For me , i lack one and i choose not to have one . I believe in my own thinkings , my own stories , my own ideas . It might be the reason why I've walked the wrong path for many years . Gratifying myself with my own lies ? Vilifying myself ... ? Though i might have offended many people of what i just said , i just hope they dun take it to heart , its just what i think , just a thought .

Sophisticated ...

Im a tractable creature ... ?