Tragedy

My mood is swinging , and my mind is preoccupied . Today's mood isnt that stable ... maybe because im confused between happiness and sadness . I just came home from Dad's place , but first , let me blog all the happy stuff .

After CSCO , i ate with JiaJin , YiLeng , Tillabong and WeiLiang . Guess yesterday's entry is somehow kinda ... weird . Because i think something went wrong , and WeiLiang is feeling down . Well , no matter what it is , i believe only one thing can solve it . And the thing is ... love . When a couple quarrels , they patch up after because its love that brings them back to where they belong . If love is present , i believe everything will be fine . Well , im not gonna talk about the 'unless' section ...

Ritz Carlton Hotel contacted me , and i think i'll take up the job , i'll be calling FuKang along to play the ErHu . Its kinda good money , thanks to Trissy , who im with contact with there . Think i'll be performing with Stanley again , the YangQin one , at Conrad Hotel . Its good money too ... and i think i'll be saving lots of money , because im sure in the future , it'll be of good use .

We watched the movie , based on the story of KingKong , 'KingKong' . Well , its obvious isnt it ... Anyway , i think the movie was excellent . Not only it has both elements of both action and romance , i think it has very nice graphics as well . The story doesnt change much , but the director sure added many other ingredients which spiced up everything . I cried and i think the rest of them did too ...

After the movie , Tillabong went home , while i walked WeiLiang home . He is seriously depressed , and i dun wish to worsen things by asking him questions ... so he went home , while i waited for Douglas , my uncle , to pick me up . He wants to bring me to my father's place ... and since he is willing , must as well take the ride there .

Whateva it is , i think i might put up this password thing in my blog . Because i dun wish anybody else to see it ... People like ... well i dunno , they come here and scruntinize . I think its kinda unhealthy to come here to pick at people's private life and feeling . Well , anyway my blog is dedicated to some people , i surely dun welcome anyone else anymore . My mood nowadays is kinda down , so if Dino has to call me to ask me anything , he has to make sure that the tone is right . Or else , i might just hang it up and make sure ... that ... i dunno . Anyway , Dino has a very wide circle of friends . He has friends who are in the police force , kinda helpful in a way . And Dino knows so much about the law i guess , because he mentions them all the time . I wonder how much he knows ? Not being sarcastic here ... but i think many people tend to get frightened by anything that has to do with the law . Well , sure i think many aren't even scared because they know they are innocent . But like the Chinese proverbs , which says , a robber will first report to the authority to blame the innocent . Im not implying anything here , but this goes out to the general public . I cant force myself to lie about how i feel , so i say all i want and i say what i think i should say . So , forgive me if any should sound hurting , because maybe its how i felt at that specific momeny . Like i said , im still a small boy , who hasnt matured enough to fit my age . And i sure dunno anything about responsibility ... In order to ask myself to be honest , i hope other parties will be honest themselves . I think Terence called me today , and sorry i was watching a movie , so i couldnt answer the phone . Anyway , dun ever call me with a private number line , because i wont pick it up at all , from now on ... Call me with another line which has numbers , so at least i know whose call am i recieving and whom i can refer to if i wanna call back . So i said it all here , Dino , dun call me to change anymore verbs or adjectives , unless u know what is better to replace them , like the word 'troubling' yesterday , it took u quite a while to think , didnt it ? I think somehow , u might sound contradicting at times . Honestly , thats how i feel , and no way am i gonna deny that , and dun ask me why .

I just got home from my Dad's place remember ? And he is seriously ill . Tomorrow i'll be bringing him to the hospital for check-up . Theres nothing i can do , because afterall im still his son , and yes i know what i should do . I held my Grandma's hands , as she slowly and carefully took her steps , and the closer i got , i heard my step-mother's , Jane , voice . I smiled at her when we met , and i called her by her name . Dad was in his room , resting ... because he has some gastric pain . He was lying there motionless , and HuiEr or Amanda , my step-sister , is massaging his back . Amanda is a very hardworking girl , well she better do them proud because ive been a bad brother and a bad son . Jane told me about Dad's conditions , and its confirmed somehow that its cancer . Not sure which stage yet ... But he seemed to be in great pain . Dad doesnt know how to talk well ... and he doesnt like to express his thoughts in words . I know he loves me , and her knows that i love him too . The incident is over , and i dun wish to even bring it up again at all . I think sometimes , problems that are unsolved should be left unsolved , because its just history , and im sure bringing it up will make things worse . Anyway , i sat there holding his hands , as i just let loose of my tears . I believe that the human touch is more powerful than words . I didnt spoke much , all i did was help his hands , while i listened to Jane talk . I asked how he felt , and he replied that he felt better ... im sure he did . I requested for a quiet moment with Dad , and all of them left the room . I massaged his back , im sure it cannot be compared to how Amanda does it , so i asked how he felt ... and he said that it felt so much better . What a liar ... because i know i cant massage his back well ... i was just rubbing aimlessly ... But that brought me to laughters ... No matter how , i still cannot forgive the fact how he disappointed us . But all i can do is to do what a son should do ... I know i sounded different compared to my previous entry , but this is the latest ... so dun go around comparing my blog entries . Its not like ive to go back and change the content , because thats how i felt originally at that moment . Everybody was really sad ... but everyone was trying to hold back , like i did .

On our journey back , to my place ... WaiKeat , my uncle's son , is really talkative . And WaiHong , the younger son is really cute , he reminded me of Vitas , because of the bald head maybe , and the way he looked , very handsome boy next time . I noticed that all the Grandsons of the family as their spelling different from mine . They're 'Wai' while im 'Wei' . Its the pronunciation that sounds different in English , but in Chinese and Cantonese , it has the same pronunciation . He is really smart , he overwhelm me with his thoughts all the time . He told me about the stuffs which i do not know of ... and he talks like a robot . He is going to ACS Primary next year . Wish him luck there ... and hope that he doesnt pick up the typical ACSian attitude next time ...

Well , like ive said , im a hole . Where people dump their secrets and no one shall dig them out . But unless if i think its necessary , i shall be nice or naughty and spill them out . Trust is important , and i think thats what keeps people in their relationship . Tillabong is rather secretive , he doesnt wanna let me know something ... Well , im not bothered , neither do i feel like digging it out of his mouth . He reminds me of Tommy somehow ... funny .

I think now the best thing to do , isnt to console me . But not to remind me of anything that ive posted . I dun wish anybody to mention it ... just keep it to urself .