Coquette

I took 132 with Samuel yesterday , and it did flush back alot of memories . Well , back at the temporary campus of ACS , i used to stay back till 5 pm . I took the bus home with my senior , Bob . Its quite weird that we dun even have anything in common . He plays the LiuQin , i the Pipa . Then usually , he'll play basketball with the other seniors , while i stay in the CO room , practicing . I remember my CO Chairperson , Lionel . He studied very hard , everyday , inside the CO room , in MrChai's room . Its a long journey to the bus-stop ... and often , many things happen there . Bob will use his sweaty PE shirt and whip me ... well thats gross . We'll talk about many things ... well , he brought me to CHC , also known as City Harvest Church . Well , i shant not talk anything else about CHC here ... i dun wanna create another chaotic riot . But afterall , i think a church should somehow be just a church , dun need to give super excuses like they're doing more than what they are , thus its good . No , its not good at all . I better stop here ...

I dun understand how this society really think . They create theifs themselves , then later , they punish them . The deprived the plebians of their chances to education , then thus resulting in an unbalanced society . Without a qualification , without any proper skills , what can these people do ? They can only feed by hand to mouth , day by day . Thus they steal , the rob and they commit to all the possible crimes they can think of in order to keep their stomach filled . So , is this society creating this criminals themselves ? I dun understand ... they're making life easier for the rich , yet how much they preach about helping the needy , they're in fact making life difficult for the poor . Like the contrary of the hymms we sang in children church , the poor gets poorer and the rich gets richer ...

Now i feel kinda down . Im bored and im not tired , but i feel lazy . I just did something useful today . I helped out at the NAFA SYT . Well , i worked for $7 per hour , its good money . Other than rotting in the computer lab , at least i can make good use of my time by converting them into money . So what i did was , i helped sort out the scores ... Im surprised that some people got distinction , well i certainly hope that it wont change their character , from bad to worse . I just cant be bothered with such people ... anyway , im so moody now that i think im thinking too much . I sort my plans and i plan my moves ... its really scary . I dreamt that somebody in the camp got beaten up ... Well , i wont say who . If 'it' irritates me , trust me , 'its' gone for sure . 'It' is used for animals if u wonder ... so ... dun ask . I think i need to go for some anger management . Im crazy in a bad mood , and im normal on good days . So , i hope nothing will get me angry again ...

Audrey's birthday is coming , and i think ... i think ... i think ... forget it . Well , i just hope nobody will celebrate my birthday . Please , seriously , i dun wanna celebrate my birthday at all . Its not good . I dun want cakes , i dun want candles and i hate birthday songs . Just telling u guys , dun even think of it ... i might get mad . Im serious .

Think im really mad . Please , one thing to take note , to everyone out there ... im not stupid , i can see things very clearly . English is fun because one word can mean a thousand meanings ...

I create jokes , i laugh at it ... the bad thing is ... i cannot really take a joke . Ive bad character ...

Now im fucking pissed .Look , if u dun wannna talk to me , no matter how , im the sectional leader ... so , if uve made any decision that i should know , u should bloody inform me ! Look fuckhead , im not dead or here to make things miserable for u . Look , im here to help , and ive been very open about anything ever since u came back . Look here with ur tiny bloody eyes Jonathan , ur the one creating this misery for ur own fucking self . U bloody gay , u better stop ur nonsense before i really get fucking mad . Fuck u , and merry christmas . Fuck ! Fuck ! Fuck ! Kenny , u better tell ur sissy friend to do something about himself ! Fuck u !

Well , im chill ... im chill ... To remind myself , some people are just beginning to become something like a coquette . Its disgusting and its pissing me off ... Well , im tired , im really fucking tired of all these ... Leave me alone , lock me up and off the lights . Let me be , let me be consumed into the darkness .