Free Thinking

Blogger is having some problems , right ? Saving and publishing may fail , because connection with Blogger is faulty . So ... whats up with Blogger nowadays ?

Well , yesterday was Mother's Day . And today , im still wondering what to get her . I know , its already too late . But anyway , she isnt home yet . So ... ive plenty of time to get her a gift . I think , no more pendants , because its getting too boring . Purple gold is cool , but too expensive , and she wont appreciate such money wasted on such minerals anyway . So , i think maybe a nice dinner will do .

If ur not in the mood for a laugh , then dun bother reading the next paragraph . Here goes ...

U know why the Egyptian kings were confused back then ? Because their fathers were mummies .

Just came home from SengKang . Took a bus home , and it went past Evan's house . Bus 86 is kinda convenient . And dun u think that buses served and occupied quite a space in our memory ? From young , till now ... different buses come in handy during different period of times . Like when i was young , i used to take bus 269 . And now , not so often . I would take bus 76 to the MRT station , or sometimes ... to save time waiting , i'll hop onto bus 268 . And during my secondary school period , i took bus 162 like almost everyday , to home , or towards Orchard . Well , buses ... what a memory embedded inside .

Im now reading Christoven's blog . He added me today , and i just accepted the invitation . Im so sorry , im supposed to add him , but ... u cant blame my poor memory . U know , sometimes ... u just cannot remember mail addresses ... and links ... U tell ur friends ur gonna add them , and next ... u forget about it . Isnt that like such a common flaw ? Its like moles , everybody has it . I know , weird description . Anyway , his blog is very interesting . Well , i think im loving it ... because , he blogs everyday ... and he blogs honestly ... without leaving out much comments and incidents . Well , i have to really acknowledge the fact that he really dares to criticise people in his blog , which is actually a good thing ... because it'll be worse to criticise others infront of them . So ... like me , i dun have much guts , so i do it secretly ... with hidden agendas and stuff . I think Christoven , u should add a tagboard . Christoven is a candid and guileless person ... so asking him for advice is quite a choice to make ... because he wont beat around the bush and give u flattering comments ... which aint quite usefull . I heard quite a bit from SiHan already ... and well , ive heard it myself too . Christoven aint somebody who will sit down and waste time with u , he prefers to keep himself busy or ... actually , occupied productively . So , i think ... Christoven would do well in almost anything if he wants to . Unlike me , im a time consuming monster .

Anyway , today i went to school . Talked on the phone with Klein , and well ... i didnt go meet Klein and YongHao today , because i went to school . I didnt turn off the computer , because it was actually quite early in some sense ... because i slept around 5 am , so ... i thought i'll go out and do something later ... but who knows ? I fell asleep . So thats it . The end .

I think the computer is burning already . Chester doesnt turn off the computer when he sleeps too ... so , forget it . Chester is my cousin . Anyway , i think the computer has been on since yesterday . Mom was complaining about the bill , remember ? Well , thats it ... im ready to fork out some money to pay the displacement .

Brought many DVDs , and i was setting up my stall ... and distributing DVDs in school . I gave away a few DVDs ... to people like Andy and Richard . They will return me some other day . Anyway , HuiQi and i watched a movie in the computer lab . I watched it before , but its quite entertaining ... so i watched it again . After that , QingLun came up ... and he watched for a while . SiHan came too ... but he had to go , so he left earlier . He was going out to Orchard , i think , for some conference . He didnt get my question ... and i asked him who was he going with , and he kept telling me its a conference for the public . And finally , he told me , its SengFu and friends . Well ... so i ate with QingLun , Andy and HaoSong , after sending HuiQi to her taxi stand .

Food was good , the atmosphere wasnt that good . I dunno why ... Well , political issues ... which i dun wanna touch on . Sometimes , dun u think that u hang out with different instrumentalists better ? Competition between peeps of the same instruments will create this sense of competition and animus , like some opposition . So anyway , im not sure whats wrong ... but im not gonna do anything about it ... maybe i'll preach abit .

Played games with QingLun in the computer lab , while Andy played with HaoSong . After which , i went off ... and headed to SengKang , by bus 80 . I was so sinful ... i actually thought of taking a cab ... which should not be an option unless im rushing for time , or that its inconvenient . Well , i was just lazy . But i fought it , and i was strong . In the end , i took the bus .

Nudged my way through those typical Singaporeans , which made me one too . And i found my sit on the second deck . There were a few Indians who boarded the bus in Geylang . They smelled of fruits ... and that was the last thing i wanted to smell from them . So , i was about the vomit ... then i ... controlled myself .

My keyboard has some letters missing already . The letters are fading off ... and some are already missing . Well , ive no idea how , but i know maybe its due to games . But , i dun require using the letter 'L' , 'M' and 'N' , that much . Its all missing . Letter 'S' is fading off ... quickly , and so is 'C' too . Nevermind them ... i can still type , since im already used to typing in the dark ... without lights on . I know its bad for my eyes ... but what can i do ? Ive a cousin here ... and he has to sleep . Thats why , im pushing Mom to get them away . Send them into their new house or something ... i cannot take it anymore . My privacy has been taken since 2 or 3 years ago . Well , to think of it ... im still telling people that they're staying over temporarily , and they'll move out once they have a new house . And to think of it , it has already been 2 or 3 years ! What the fuck ? Im so pissed now . I told Mom before ... and ive been stressing her , i know . She couldnt hold it any longer too ... and she managed to force uncle to get his own van , which succeeded . Mom's car aint for carrying coconuts ... and they stink the car ! Not just that , we found many baby cockroaches in the car once . Fuck it ! It was horrible . I was so mad ... i scolded Mom .

Anyway , not that everything is in peace ... lets get on with the entry ...

Dad was feeling kinda tired nowadays . He's sleeping almost all the time . Well , when im around ... he sleeps well , maybe because Jane doesnt dare to disturb him . Yong is flying off tomorrow , and we wish him a smooth voyage , he'll be back this Thursday . Dorothy will be around still ... And well , we prayed for Dad just now , together . I found a few books and recordings of Buddha chants ... and so , i told Yong to throw them away . A few days ago , i found 2 books , but i forgot to take them away ... because or else , i'll collect them at home .

Im a free thinker . I used to be a Christian from CityHarvestChurch , also known as CHC . Well , im not going to spread my thinking here and start twisting words from the bible , because im not from there anymore . I felt very uncomfortable during my stay in CHC . Not because that its too charismatic ... i thought its too dainty . Not literally , but actually ... i meant ... forcible , vehement , hyped up and magnetic . The people there were forcing me to do this and that . I couldnt even skip a service . Not that i wanna skip it intentionally , but because ive something on ... and i want to attend another service on another day . But they werent quite happy with it , because we should attend the service as a group , in a cell group . What the hell was that ? No way . My relationship with God , is me with God , not together with u guys . But i dun mean exactly that . What i was trying to tell them is that ... i need privacy with God . They made it as if its a very together thing , and there aint any privacy for me ... almost like those cults i see on TV all the time . My bible is now by my side , almost a useless book , but truely the most powerful in the world . So , if the bible stays there and sleep ... what powers does it hold ? Last time , i have my own quiet moments with God , usually for an hour , every night , exactly and midnight , before i sleep . I gave my tithes and offerings , and i served in the children ministry . Im an active member in the cell group , under my leader , Vivien . And i brought friends to church , and did my best influencing my friends . Im a healthy person , honestly , not as complicated as how i am now . So , ive seen it ... the dirty lies of the church . They played MTVs of pastor Sun in church , before the service . And they pasted posters of her in the church . They sold her albums in the carpark ... and they all prayed for her . Im pretty sure her main motive is to spread Christianity through her music . But wait ... those are pop music , and what about ur preaching about idolism ? All has gone to waste just in an act like that . Sexy clothings and materialistic impressions that she wore ... just didnt quite appeal to me as a preaching musician . So ... so much for the support of the church . She was using us ... and dumb people in the church ... were all blinded and brainwashed , because they bought not just one , but almost ten , for some . Its crazy . I tell u now , it was hell in the church for me . I was disgusted ... and i could think for myself for a moment . And it was then , i knew ... things aint right there . People were programmed every week , and thats when i started thinking . More and more ... and deeper i go . Ive become a sophisticated creature . I told them , im leaving ... and next , my phone rang every night . Calls of concern and so much for that . Cold and freezing replies i gave ... and inside , i know its wrong ... and its time for another church . Ive been cheated of my feelings , and it was then , i backslided into a pool of mud . Now , im still there ... wallowing in the mud , enjoying the warmth of it . I open my arms to anybody , to join me . Together , we wallow , forever .

That sounds kinda dumb . But seriously , after drinking sour milk , thats it for u . U wont wanna drink anymore milk for a week . For me , it has already been 3 years . And , i proudly say , im still coping well .

So , my main point was ... to tell u that ive books on Christianity and Buddhism at home . They are kept together , in my treasure chest . I often will read them , and find contradictions and similarities in comparison . So , i'll usually quote from either text to Christians and Buddhists about their doings . Next , i think i might wanna try reading on Islam . But by doing so ... am i being the most holy person ? Because every book says that if one doesnt believe in either which they are serving , the one will not proceed to heaven . So , being a Singaporean , im all-rounded , in almost every ways .

YouGuo will pass me the scores , for RobertCasteel's new composition . Well , ive worked with him before back then last year , in NUS . And this time , its with ThePhilharmonicWinds , or Philwinds . Recently they gave a spectacular performance , winning standing ovations from the audience . For this concert , i'll just be playing one of RobertCasteel's new world premiere piece , with celestial choir of voices . And well , i hope its not going to haunt me this time .

So , im signing off now . Going to play games with Andy and Audrey . Weird for Audrey to initiate . Well , thats it . Enjoy .