Joyful Joyful

Well , Kenny lost my CD , and i lost one myself . Another Sarah McLachlan CD ... and im so freaking sad . But thanks to Noozli , or else ... the whole stack of CDs would have been lost already . I'll rather lose one than all . If im gonna lose all of it , im seriously going to commit suicide . I think , the best is to really be selfish and keep it to myself . No more borrowing and lending of CDs . But again , thanks to Noozli for bringing it home , and safe from dirty hands . Thanks Noozli ! And yes , the DVDs too .

Just took a bath , and im feeling kinda itchy after shaving .

Woke up kinda early , and took a cab down to YanYu's place . Well , again ... stupid aunties , snatching cabs blatantly . Well , Jasmine , i wont use that bad word anymore . But for once , again ... fuck u aunties ! There u go .

I think its not vulgar at all . Well , the only way u people might think is vulgar is because of the fact that ur mindset on this bad word is indeed ... voiced out from the vulgar people , who uses it in a very unrefined manner . For me , the word , has this certain degree of expression , and i think its language , not vulgarity . For Jasmine , maybe its the fact that those hooligans from her previous school uses it too often , and of course with extra gesturing of middle fingers and other signs . Ive seen plenty like that before , they all flock together . But for me , u dun see me using it in public , just here in my dear private blog where i pour out my own expression of anger and wrath towards certain things in life . If ive no rights to say what i really wanna say within , then ... i think im feeling kinda restricted to my own dear paradise . So , may i use the bloody fucking word ?

YanYu prepared the chair ... like a mock exam . Scary ... because i saw it before last year . She got her Pipa , and she sat there and listened to my piece . I played my scales first , and she was happy that i memorised it . Well , im quite elated myself for being able to memorise the scales in such a short period . I played my pieces , but to my dismay , it was all broken ... and not complete . Well , there was no sense of attainment . Everything didnt come in place nicely , and ive not completed playing the whole piece before . I stop here and there once and twice ... and then , get carried away with other ideas . Im an easily distracted person . So , she told me to improve on my breathing and entrances . I think she has the point , and i just cannot do it sometimes . The breathing was kinda easy ... at times ... but the feel and the energy within has to travel downwards for the ancient tunes . How am i going to do that ? Well , she showed me how , and i tried my best . Lesson was ... kinda pointless , but still ... good , as a preparation for my coming exam in the afternoon . So , i asked her if she's going to teach me ... because she once told me that she might not , because she has a baby ... and at the end of the year , the baby might be due then . So ... i asked , with a sad tone ... and to my surprise , she said she'll endure and continue teaching me . Of course that sounded good , but ... im afraid it might not be good for the baby to be exposed to my horrible playing . And moreover , im afraid of her mood by then . Who knows what pregnant ladies do ? Other than eating hell lot , and vomitting hell lot .

Integration , that was what i needed . So , i took a cab to school ... and i practiced . QingLun and gang then came ... and they tempted me to lunch . I thought maybe a cup of soya milk and some finger food will do . Who knows ... ? We went to eat chicken rice again . Well , i think its kinda nice , but not too much ... or else i'll be expanding soon . We ordered this whole chicken , and we shared it among 6 people . The cost on the menu was $16 , and in the end , this horrible old auntie told us its $18 , though its only a difference of $2 , which doesnt matter much , its the business that they're doing that aint fair . Well , we were kinda angry , and we kept telling her its $16 , and she spoke in return , in a loud and harsh tone that its $18 , and period to that . What the hell ? If the menu has typo errors , please bloody hell go change it ! Dun just stand there and chant to us about the price . Do something ! Idiots . Anyway , ate alot ... and it was only $4 , because we shared . Worth the price still .

Was practicing , and then Jason and Andy came in . Jason listened to me play , and i performed to him my very bad rendition of my pieces . Well , i knew it ... i was going to fail . Now , if u read that again , i might mean that ive already failed . But actually , no , not yet . Im just predicting ...

Got downstairs earlier ... and stood around ... watching TingTing's playing on the platform . I was then sitting there and talking to YiFan . Next , they went out ... and i played on the Piano for a while ... then , MrYeo came and told me to prepare myself . So i went out , and i then saw PhoonYewTian entering . He is my adjudicator ! So , lordship entered ... and he smiled to me , and i got freaked out . I went outside and quickly took up my Pipa , and started practicing ... Then i saw this crack on the wall , which somehow reminded me as a symbol for weak spot . This line of weakness is within me ... and i felt it breaking ... crumbling into pieces . The lights flickered ... and i was blinded for a moment . I knew it , death is around . Its almost like a living noun around me . This death , like a fallen angel has came to me in peace , telling me ... whispering secrets . Death said that , im dead .

Ironic ... what else can it or he say ?

I entered and i passed them the scores . Well , MrYeo was sitting there too , but only PhoonYewTian was giving the marks . So , i told them a bit of the history of my pieces , and one of which ... i screwed up . And for the other , it was quite fine . So , at the end of the first traditional piece , he asked if he should assess me by the rhythm and notes of the scores ? And of course . He meant to tell me that ive played kinda badly , because of the wrong rhythm and the notes . Im pretty sure i played a few notes wrong , and i tried to replace them . For the rhythm part , its all i could do . Its traditional , and not everytime its fixed dead like the score . But who knows ? He was right , and he shot me right in the heart , i was speechless . For the next piece , i screwed up like hell . Because i was really nervous after making so many mistakes . For me , everything is actually fine , but when i play something wrongly , i'll get nervous from then on . So , after playing ... he told me that he'd heard LiuDeHai play the piece 20 years ago . Please , im not LiuDeHai . And he said that it didnt sound quite like that . So , im ready to argue my way out . YanYu handled the score differently , from the recordings . And i prefer her way of playing too ... the sudden change of the tempo , and the tonal colours . But it didnt quite link up ... and thus , sounded kinda rough . I guess thats what PhoonYewTian tried to tell me . What the hell ... so many questions and so many hidden needles . In the end , he told me ... not bad .

What the ... ?

I then went to buy PhoonYewTian and MrYeo drinks . I came back , and i heard YeoYee playing her scales , it was fast . And her solo piece , with Charles accompanying . After all , she's playing a grade 6 scale , while i played grade 8 . She has improved tremendously , surpassing my progress , im so jealous ! Im joking ... Anyway , im kinda happy now that its all over , but still ... kinda sad that i screwed things up .

Went back to my practice room , and kept everything . Sat outside on the floor with Angela and Noozli ... and they asked about my exam . Im glad its all over ... and im so happy ! TingTing was practicing with QiaoFang . And u know what ? Tomorrow is YouGuo's recital exam , im going to catch his performance . Good luck to him !

Went over to Bugis with TingTing and Zoe , Fairul followed , because he was heading to meet his Malay girl friends . Ive seen them before , and some , of most , of which looks ... really horrible ! Im not being mean here ... but they have piercing ... a very typical bad Malay student look . Look at Fairul and Fhairil , they are so much nicer . But Fairul hangs out with such friends , not my problem . Went over to take a look at his friends ... and its true , its like that ! Zoe is a Pianist in NAFA , who has a crush on me . But we're just friends ... because she is older than me by a year . She is kinda funny , and we're always joking about each other . Well , she kept telling me that she likes me , and she wanna be my wife . So funny ! Nevermind , not . We went over to Swensen's , but it was kinda full . So , we went over to McDonalds , and couldnt decide ... and again , finally at BurkerKing .

I hate this awful tasting turkey bacon burger . My favourite has to be the mushroom swiss burger , but ... i thought i should try another . I regretted badly ... TingTing kept bullying me ! I must complain ! After eating , we went to this bodyshop , and she was looking for some hair conditioner . Well , then i kept touching her , because i was testing the cream . So , i touched her hair ... because she was asking whether its rough . And u know what ? I didnt wash my hands after eating the fries . Imagine , the salt . She was screaming about ... and Zoe was hitting me . While they were paying , im taking the free sweets at the counter .

Watching another failure variety show now . Disgusted ...

Was then on our way back to school . I havent told u , Fairul was saying that he was walking beside an internally naked person . And he was referring to me . Who is not internally naked ? Lame .

Got back to school ... and TingTing and i played games in the computer lab . Nobody was really in school already . She was playing and squealing with joy . She kept losing ... and she was so happy . Well , she is funny too .

Andy tried recording my piece , and too bad ... he didnt know how , so kinda wasted .

TingTing didnt follow me to eat . So i went alone ... and i ate chicken rice again , and soya milk . I was then drinking ... and waiting for a bloody cab by the road . Nothing came ... only cars and buses ... So , i took my Pipa and i went over to another road ... There , i met Zoe and friends again . GaoLan was there , and i told her to share the cab with me , because she stays at AngMoKio . So , we were waiting for the cab , and we talked about horrible cab drivers . They are all very rich , they dun even care about making money actually , because they dun pick up customers ! Whats this world becoming ? In the end , GaoLan couldnt wait anymore , and she went to take a bus . I walked over all the way to SimLim ... and there was people there too . So , i went somewhere else . I was so freaking tired ... and sweaty . I wasted an hour waiting for cab ... and finally , one came .

Now im at home , under the same roof , blogging .

Tomorrow im going to catch a movie with SiHan , because our exams are over ! Joyful , joyful , we adore u !