That Day

Empty . I left it empty , lying there on my bed . Ive no idea what to reply ... neither do i wish to . Today , is a balanced day . Joy against a down heart . In fact , ive been feeling this since morning ...

Just came home from a bus ride . With a chicken bone in hand , eyes watching trees go by , thoughts , like train , running in my head and , familiar melodies rang in my ears . All at once , i felt young again . People might wanna return into their teenage years , because its the best time of their lives . Like said , their's , not mine . For me , i wish time would pass me by , unconsciously . So abrupt , yet so prepared . Tears , ive never seen them so alive , dancing down my cheeks . When i lie in bed , they'll usually collect and flood my ears . Now , the dams are open , and they are free , for once .

Before i blog about this dark chapter , let me shine ur way through today's zoo outing .

I woke up early , for once , and i knew ... everybody is going to be late . I knew it when Noozli told me that they're waiting for Evan . Well , we're supposingly meeting at 10 am . But who knows , i was there 40 minutes earlier . I asked the driver if there is bus 138 on the opposite side ... and he asked me where im heading to ... ? So , i told him , to the zoo . I regretted doing so , because he started talking so loudly ... and telling me that i would have to take bus 138 on the opposite side to go to the zoo . Not once , but many times . I was so embarrassed , though going to the zoo aint anything wrong . But its still weird , because everybody was staring at me . Thanks alot .

Got there early , and the familiar fresh air brushed against my face when i alighted the freezing bus . Saw Jose sitting there , and i thought ... did they ask him out too ? Well , not that its not any surprising ... but its just , weird . Jose was sitting there , doing his work . Well , he sent his family here , and he sat outside , and waited for them . Such a nice brother . We did chat abit ... about life in Phillipines , compared to Singapore . Well , at least the movies are so much cheaper ! The other group came ... comprising of YunQi , Ryan and Bernard . Im not sure about the spelling anyway . So , they were hanging around . I was using chips to kill time , and i couldnt finish it ... it just went more and more by the more i eat . So ... i gave it to Noozli when they came . So , they entered first , after Dorothy , Aaron and Leo arrived . Noozli , Jwen and Evan came later . Evan brought along her little brother , Aaron . Jwen was wearing pink , with a shining white cap . Its kinda obvious that her hair was very messy , i think it still is . Noozli was wearing double layer , and Evan looked freaky . She dyed her hair black . U know what ? It reminds me of the China students ... nothing insulting ...

So , we met them again in the zoo . Evan had these free passes , so i didnt need to pay , and for that , i felt happy . Got in , and i thought we'll go our own ways , which i would prefer most , but who knows ... ? We met them , yes , and we got together and moved together for the entire whole day in the bloody freaking zoo . Well , do i sound like i mind ? Of course i dun .

I was reacting funny when i saw my first animal . It was a duck . Funny how it sounds ... ?

After that , we saw many other animals , like as usual . And we followed under Ryan's guide ... and managed to catch most of the shows . The first was ... i dun think i can remember . Well , there were many stupid things . We saw cute otters , ugly baboons , smelly zebras and this slow moving creature . Wait ! Thats Jwen . Im joking ... dun get angry again . Anyway , so , it was all fun ... and its kinda nice to come in contact with the wild after looking at those creatures on the roads with four wheels . I dunno why , but i wasnt happy , not a single bit . Im not trying to become a hard to please person here , but seriously ... if u want me to be honest , thats how i felt .

Jokes with hidden sarcasm . Fuck u .

Now , dun see me as a guy who cannot take jokes . I can take a ton of them , but i cannot take those which are intentional . Get what i mean ? Like if i saw Jwen is like a snail , u know , its not intentional , because she cant be a snail .

During all the fun we're having in the zoo , i was having fun myself playing pretentious . Other than YunQi and Dorothy , there aint any other interesting person around . I mean ... from the clique . So , we went for a walk in the fragile forest , and so funny ... YunQi was afraid of ducks . Its so ... interesting ... ? Ducks ? Birds ? Nevermind . Dorothy was afraid of the butterflies . Evan and Jwen ... were hugging around , afraid of everything or anything . Noozli was touching the animals ... funny ...

Ive no idea what to tell u about the zoo trip . Honestly , its just a dumb trip . Im not going to go there again till next year or something . Please , no more ! So sad for Christoven , because he felt so bored for the entire day . Well , asked him out , but he doesnt want to . He wanted to watch a movie with me , but i dun think so ... because i'll be so worn out , and i'll have to visit my father .

I almost vomitted when i saw the cute little cow in the children animal crap corner . It was so cute i tell u ! It had this gruesome looking mucus dripping down from its nose . Hell , thats cute ! Ask Jwen and Evan ... my reaction was the same when i saw Samuel ate his jackfruit during new year . SiHan should know too . It felt so heavenly . Cute cow ...

Stupid remarks , and jokes that really cannot make it . Like , Jwen leaves a trail of slime whereva she walk ... well , this one , only Noozli got it first after like 20 seconds . Nevermind , better not talk bad about others .

The main attraction aint the zoo today . Its the people and me .

Took bus 138 back to AngMoKio , then bus 86 to SengKang , with Evan and her brother , Aaron . Well , the journey was bloody long ! Everyone was sleeping in the bus , and hell ... we smelt like animals .

Dad was feeling kinda warm . And so , i took our the air-con controller ... and helped him with his air-con . Stayed there for quite a while , and i was resting on the sofa , while he had some visitors , and so i stayed out of the room . For ? To avoid some stupid questions and stuff ... Well , Jane , if ur such a Christian , and such a strong believer , u would not say negative things about Dad's condition , and hope more for the better . The way ur saying it is like ur lying to him about his condition , and as if he is a dying man . Though it might be true , but ur a Christian , can u say it in some other way , like Christians always do ?

Took the bus home , and then there's where i felt strange . Memories flushed back when i took a look at my phone calender . Today , always this day , is a cursed day for tomorrow . And well , i remembered u , and ... do u remember me ?

On this day , back then , i walked under the rain , and the rain washed away my tears . And the same goes to this day when i was in OBS . U held my hand really tight , and ur face flushed really red . I know its not nice , its anger . Many times , we fought . U bleed , i bruise . Fair and square , but its unfair now . Where is justice ? So ... happy birthday to u .

I know , its been kinda long since uve heard from me . U said that urself , but im in ur MSN list , am i not ? Well , have fun clubbing and have fun drinking and spending ur night with hot chicks . U know , sometimes , when ur having fun , someone else outside aint , and its the balance i think .

Theres so much to say , yet i dun hear a thing from my mouth . Sometimes , i think ... whether it was right to say it out . But now , i dun think its quite a good choice to make back then . This aint the right place to talk about all these ...

Anyway , goodnight and party well , YiChun .

Talking to Christoven really makes me laugh . And i think , thats really nice . We're thinking of where to go tomorrow . Many wierd suggestions ... well , i can expect another fun day .

A view from the optical lens , is like covering up urself with lies . I dun wish to see through things anymore . I wanna see things myself ... and can i please see whats wrong ? I wanna know , about that day .