Head Over Shoulders

Im now with ChaiXia in NAFA's computer lab , watching some movie which she claimed is touching . I dun find it so ... only a little maybe ... Anyway , today had practice at CSCO , and then went to KunRui's place then had lesson with YanYu in the evening .

Im so stressed , ive to do so many things being a committee member of CSCO . I dun like it , and its not like its what i want . However , since im chosen , ive no choice to back out at all , i have to play a part and just do my part as a member . ChaiXia said that im not like my usual self today , because somebody was there . Honestly , no , i dun have any grudge or hatred for anybody anymore . Its just that i dun find it normal to face somebody i know who hates me and has a grudge against me . Well , lets just keep things cool between us , nobody offends anyone .

I feel like as if im resurrected from the dead . Like a holy shining light , shone mercifully over the tomb of a dead . Then , life grew over it , and beautiful occurrences took place ... Im feeling so much better now , compared to the past . Well , im just happy now how things are , and please dun start it again . I feel as if im the one seeking forgiveness and yet i feel that i shouldnt be the one . Its unfair , and im benevolent enough to overlook this small matter . Well , im a happy boy remember ? And i wish i could be happier , but ive not been this happy before , so i darent ask much , for one should not be greedy . I look at the things i have and cherish them , and not look over to what other people have , or else i wouldnt be satisfied with life at all . Im not satisfied , but at least i see a purpose , and it comes and go like the sun . A dawn of hope and dusk of broken dreams ... Its normal to feel that way . Like ive mentioned in this specific entry a long time ago , im thankful for every sunset but i look forward to every sunrise . A sunrise may be a normal romantic event for anyone , but to me , its a fresh new beginning of life . Well , at least thats how i see things my way . Call it weird if u want ... call it dumb if u wish ...

As usual , YanYu gave me this new piece today . And its something which ive requested for before . Its hard and its tough , but yet she said it was easy . To her maybe , but not to me . First she said that the previous piece i played was easy , which i find so now after mastering it . Maybe till i master this new piece , then i'll find it easy ... its always like that . To think upon what ive played for my exam , i think its really quite easy ... wasted . Today's lesson , we practically just went through the score , and talked about a few important points to take note about the piece itself . I played the piece with her , one bar after one bar , after her . She laughed at a few parts because it sounded really silly , and i played it really silly . Now my thumb hurts abit ... Anyway , after playing the piece , she called KunRui and wanted him to fix the Pipa which ive just brought back from KunRui to her before the lesson . Now the Pipa is with me , because she isnt satisfied with the repair ... anyway , i found it very bad too . Its a lousy Pipa and it sounded awful , worst with the inaccurate frets . So , now ive to make another trip down and back again next week .

Well , i think people really need to be reminded . Firstly , they forget what they promised , and next even if they remembered , they dun fulfill it . They dun meet in effect straight away , and they give stupid excuses . Now i know how tough it is , for the job of a sectional leader . Well , im gonna make calls every week to remind them of what they should do and what they should bring . Now im rushed by others for the name list , which my group members cannot confirm , and next is the money . Im busy enough , why must so many things weigh me down some more . First , its MusicTech , thanks to Adams , who only cares about making money and not the welfare of the students . Then now , this . Im not going to entertain anymore problems like relationship problems , which is quite impossible , and even financial problems . Its bothering me enough , and i seriously am getting very annoyed by all these nonsense . Adams , is really just ... disappointing .

Now im blogging while ChaiXia is watching the movie ... still ... and i dun think im interested in the movie at all . Because , its not even touching and its not attracting my attention , unlike other movies . Well , i think her taste is really bad ! Joking ...

Not all guys are ur hardcore and heavyduty type . I belong somewhere in between , but not even close . Sometimes , instead of having somebody laying their head over my lap or shoulder , i just wish that there is someone out there who i can lean on . I just wanna rest my head over his or her shoulders and just cry my heart out . I wish ... i wish ... But u know , reality and dreams are always ten yards away , not very far , but the fact is that its apart ...