Speechless

I had lesson with YanYu today , because Thursday i was too tired , i didnt even blog on that day . Anyway , lesson was great . She heard my Pipa , and she said that its sound is hidden and trapped inside the wood . I agree , it doesnt come out , thats the point . I hate my Pipa , and it hates me too . Today was the first time i see her husband . Also the first lesson during the daytime . I forgot to ask back the DVDs that i lent to her , so i can pass it to Nicholas . Poor memory ...

After lesson im supposingly going to meet Samuel for dinner and then rot . However , i was too tired , and somebody bugged me so badly that my handphone went to a single battery unit . I was quite annoyed , but i didnt say anything . I hate flat batteries , i dunno why , and i hate people saying their battery is flat or something . Now , im irritated by my cousin's handphone , hes ringingtone is like 3min long , and he is not around when it usually rings . I hate it ... i hate this and that , that i dunno what i like . Anyway , i dunno whether Samuel really asked me out , or isit just a tag along thingi , i feel so extra , so i didnt wanna go . So sad ... now im having my usual doldrums ... nothing will lift my spirit higher now ... maybe only one , but its impossible for it to happen .

Im so stressed now . Im the sectional leader now ... and i really dunno what to do , i hate to involve myself with politcal affairs . Or maybe even non-musical affairs ... i hate it . If its gonna stress me even more , i think i will rather pack my stuff and take my flight .

People might just claim how depress they may be . To me , i dunno how depress they may be compared to me . But i do know that they consider themself depressed . Thats the most important part . Its not how depressed they are , but the fact that they are depressed . Im not as depressed as i was , but to a certain extent , i still am .

I dun like to be forced , if u do , just dun care what i might still say , because in my heart , im already cursing u . I might look normal or sound normal , but in my heart im trying my best to avoid questioning . Who likes to be forced , but sometimes , being forced may be good . Treat it as discipline . However , in this case today , its not . Pesky ... really irritating . Im not avoiding u or something , but dun force me . I said next time , so i mean , next time . Or u choose , next time or never . When i say not today , im serious that today is not the day . But , it depends who i say it too ... sometimes , i just want them to ask me again , to make me feel good . Things like , "Weikang u wanna come for my birthday party ?" ... it'll feel good to hear it again ... Sarcastic .

Im playing Minesweepers with Audrey now . She is busy playing with others , so her response is like a dead snail . Anyway , out of all the games , she never fail to lose . But today , she won me once . I was so shocked .

My tongue hurts ... like got blister . Dunno why ... but its irritating me . My mood swings is always activated by this kinda stupid factors .

Again , im speechless .