Parched

Im not being dramatic here. But, repugnantly, if one doesnt read my blog, they'll miss out on what ive to say. On the other hand, who cares whether what i say! My blog is purely my slip opinions, or some really cruel criticism. Other than that, theres nothing here for u guys to read about. Not some plurality opinion or something, nothing here is a hundred percent true or factual. My blog is my fantasy, where i dream and to tell about it.

For those who didnt get to read the post yesterday... all ive to say is... too bad. Anyway, theres nothing there. I think im getting bored day after day. Ever since i started blogging, there were many unpleasing comments about it. Well, i blog how i want. LuHeng, ur right, to avoid trouble... sometimes, i should just ignore about blogging some stuff. But well, then it defeats the purpose of why im here.

SiHan was kinda sad just now. Whateva it is, forget about it. Cheers!

I started my day with a series of tirades. Woke up with a blurred mind and some really vague image of this person that i dreamt of. I walked around the house... and got myself refreshed and ready for school. I was sitting on the sofa, mentally shutting down again. Mom woke up after a few minutes, and she asked me about my plans today. I told her that i wanna stay home. And of course, u know the consequences or saying such things... Back then, when i was in year 1, i attended school like its some new environment. True, back then everything was fresh. Well now, its rotting slowly... thus, i thought of skipping class today. In the end, i find myself in school for aural class. I wont wanna talk about the process of which how i got myself to come to school. It was terrible. I wish Mom can go Malaysia again... Let freedom break loose!

Aural class was fine. Lets be straight forward, its getting worse each time i go for aural. Yohanna kept us quite consistent, though EricWatson has his own ways of teaching, i think it can only apply to some students, probably people like QingLun... For me, i think im getting weak with my melodic dictation. I cannot catch a few notes and rhythm. Rhythmic dictation is still under my control. Harmonic dictation will depend on luck. As for melodic dictation, it'll totally depend on fate.

Last night, i went to eat at Basil with SiHan and Jonathan. They jacked the price! I mean... they increased the prices. Great, im not going back there for a long long time. Firstly, its expensive, and some rules has changed... now we have to pay an extra of 50 cents for a cream base pasta. Well, thats one problem with shops that raise their prices... old customers will complain. Obviously, the food hasnt change much, but the price already rose up to a different standard. Goodbye to the cave, im moving myself to somewhere else to eat...

Today, i ate with Fairul, Evelyn, Richard and Jonathan at PeaceCentre. Its a peaceful day, with relatively good weather. I got to know Evelyn, a vocalist too, and she was first an image of somebody's... good friend, but now i get the whole idea. It apparantly aint so. Impressions are so unreliable sometimes. Anyway, food was great and whateva went on at the table was fun too. Jonathan's jokes were ultimately freezing, i almost caught a flu, but thanks to my sweater. Anyway, our topics revolved around somebody, and also stuff about the vocal music scene. Evelyn is a nice girl, who is older than me. Thats all for now, and im sure i'll finish this paragraph as life goes on...

I met Michelle and XueQi in NAFA. They were there to collect some form for grading exams. Well, they came into my studio, and we were talking about certain things. I told them how unprepared i am for the competition. But well, i feel so dead and disappointment with myself. Anyway, YanYu is in labour ward now! She is currently in the hospital... I cant believe it! Ive seen her through this 9 months, from nothing to something! This is so amazing... Well, her daughter has heard me play for 9 months, im sure she'll know how lousy i am. Great... Anyway, i just cant imagine her going through the operation. Hope she's fine! I told her to take care, and she told me to take care. She is so cute. Well... i love my teacher!

Sorry, kinda distracted. As i was saying... Michelle and XueQi came over, and they stood there listening to me scramble through my pieces. Well, i didnt feel quite comfortable just then. Anyway, i know that ive been detached from the CO scene for quite a long time already, especially the Pipa circle. Well, though i know them and they know me, we seldom get together much. Firstly, im of different caliber from them, because im studying in NAFA and im from some other orchestra. I spend my time mostly with friends in school nowadays. Im going to go out with my ACS friends again soon. But, as for the normal good days, im mostly with people like Christoven and SiHan. Though ive been inactive, my ears are still there to steal words from the air and figure out my own tales. So... there's been some political crap in the Pipa circle. Nevermind, but... to think of it, everything involves this person. Im quite saddened by the fact that being such an influential figure, one should spread some goodness instead of something else. I really hope that things can be peaceful, and not so busy with rumours and backstabbing daggers flying about. I think if they get a more mature mindset about things, this world would be a better place just as MichaelJackson wished.

Im not mature, i agree. But i think i have quite a structured thinking system. Jonathan will have to agree that im childish, right? I hate u.

Happy birthday to Tommy! Well, during sightsinging class, Stephanie wanted to sabotage me to sing! Audrey too! Why? Why? I dun understand why. What did i do? My goodness... why? Please tell me why! Please!

Im acting insane.

Or...

Nevermind. The day ended short on a happy note. I was late for DrKan's tutorial, but she was later. I was having tea with SiHan and Mark at the chicken pie stall. We were talking about... i cant remember! Anyway, the tutorial was so packed. When i enter, i was relieved... and i told them im lucky that she's late, then... they broke into laughters. I had to sit on this broken chair, because every inch of the room is filled with somebody's butt. There's no place at all... But, i like this group, because the time slot is good.

Anyway, during sightsinging, JiaJia from NAC called me several times. She wanted to ask about my time slot for my competition. Well, im so sorry, but i cannot confirm the time yet because AlbertLin has to check his time, as for my teacher... she is... giving birth. So, its not really a good time to settle this. But thanks to her lots for making suggestions and plans for me. She is really nice to spend her time to think for people like me. Im not sure whether its her policy or her company's, but im really grateful!

For those who asked. Im not pissed that day, just really disappointed at somebody's attitude. Well, sometimes i might say the wrong thing to certain people, but... i meant them well. I dun carry intentions to spoil somebody's day. But, of course, i realised that i did by telling them things that might hurt them. Though its not my fault at all, but by telling... its indirectly mine. Ive learned, i should not tell anybody anything about them anymore! I show concern, and out of so many people... theres only a few that i'll show concern for. But, it was returned with no avail. It breaks my heart, which transforms me into a heartless creature. Well, i can be as black and cold as a stone, but i just wish to help. Fuck it, i dunno what im saying. Go and die please. Thats it, the final straw has already been stacked. Bye to the nicer side of me. Or maybe it has never been there at all to first start with a hello.

Jonathan just asked about his blog. I made one for him, because he asked for one.

Im low on cash! I realised that lending money is really a bad thing, because its hard to get them back. Firstly, we've to get through this problem from asking them for the money, which could be misunderstood for being unfriendly or rude. But well, thats the way it should be anyway. Next, some people will never pay. There was this problem a few years ago. Its alright with me if ur paying me slowly, or at least bothered to pay up. That horrible creature didnt just dun bother to pay, but even provoked me by telling me that he'll pay others first. It doesnt matter, but please dun say it out. I'll feel of so little importance that i'll wanna become invisable for the rest of my life. Anyway, i was really fumed because of other small matters. The heart wasnt there at all, thus... please dun even mention about sharing things... not even food. Nevermind, i think this section is so anonymous that nobody would understand what im saying.

I borrowed money from Mark today. Look at the state that im in. Look. My river of cash is drying up...