Inexorably

Should i change my blog to the new version? I dunno, it says that ive to log in with my Google account and stuff. But, i dun even have a Google account. Anyway, its crap right? There isnt any really good benefits right? Well, i prefer my old account.

JohnOndrasik is a songwrite and singer. Well, i must say that his songs are very personal, and they apply differently to different people. I love a few of his songs, however not the rest. I think some of the songs have bad melody. Remember composition class with DrGoh? Well, we learned about writing melodies. He wrote on straight away on the board and showed us how to. But, somehow... its not really explained very well. I think composition is quite a difficult thing to teach, right? Because everybody has their own ideas and different ways of understanding things. Well... i dunno, im not some composition freak, so i better shut up. But, as u guys may know, i have a hobby of arranging music or composing. Well, its far different from all this type of music. Mine is for pure entertainment, and i respect how it is.

I dunno how to open my mouth. I dunno what words to use, and i always offend people with my blunt vocabs. In fact, i think that my words are like stinging noises to the ears. Sometimes, i find myself really irritating, but ive no choice. If i stop talking, people would say that im wierd. Well, when i dun, im just too vocal for myself. I should learn from this friend of mine, who shuts himself up.

I went to TP early today, and Mom lost her way again. Im punctual, but not the rest of the musicians. I think this is a really bad habit, which also runs in my own blood. But to think of it, im somebody who will be punctual for anything else other than my own committments. U get what i mean? Dun? Well, i wont be late when im a guest musician, teacher or outside performances. But, i'll be late for my own practices, lessons and friendly appointments. I dunno, but i think its kinda bad. So, ive settled my mind, and im going to be punctual for anything i do from now on. Of course, only things which i'll give attention to. Tomorrow would be the first starter, CSCO. Its been quite a while since i last go back to CSCO, almost a month or more already. So scary...

The rehearsal at TP was fine. For the standard now and the attendance rate, it'll only get worse. I think some people should really slap themself up and realise how important some things are to others, not just for themselves. Firstly, weigh the importance of being committed to something like competitions and then to their own self activities. Competition comes once, unlike other activities, unless its some emergency problems. I dunno what it is, but i dun believe that everybody is having some emergencies, even when im sick, if im committed enough, i'll make my way down to whereva i should be. I hope this doesnt sound like self-praise. Its a wake up call for people like that, though i know this would never get to them.

Ive been troubled and irked with my own friends. Its nothing that they've done, not any of their faults. I think the problem lies in the energetic organ that contemplates too much. The more i think, the more i woe. However, once i realise the truth, it'll usually soothe my soul. To think about it, the question which ive always asked has embedded into a theme in my life. Let me repeat it for the sake of those who hasnt read it before... Am i the protagonist of my life?

Am i? Honestly, im not very sure. Im a full-time extra. I stand beside anybody to embellish their lives. Im here to satisfy others, and to be just somebody who will inevitably becomes nobody in their lives. But, i wanna thank some people who has made the positive answer to my question possible.

Well, i hope Raymond is not reading this, because this sounds so sucked up. But no, im just being honest. Raymond would be somebody who has always been there, even when i dun see him most of the time. When i was down, 2 years ago, he accompanied me to skip my prelims. Evil! Well, now u know who it was who brought me to Sentosa! Im joking... but, honestly, thanks for that Raymond. Not blaming u for the prelims thingi, because it was all my idea to go Sentosa. To think of it, its damn stupid and funny. Twice, Raymond lent me his Pipa for my practical exams. And he bought me this keychain of my name for my birthday. I was so touched, and this time... he told me he got me this bear. My goodness! So touched! So thankful and grateful! Then, he also told me about some other opportunities, im so... speechless. Anyway, its a good choice to leave the Chinese music scene. Ur lucky that u know another instrument. For people like me, we've no choice but to stick around and wallow along with the mud of critics and hypocrites. Its been a long time since we last met up, but from ur pictures, im sure u look so much better. Im afraid u wont wanna see me, because i'll pollute ur eyes. Im joking... But well, good to hear that ur fine. Finally u get to find urself a nest, unlike me, im still nesting in somebody else's. Its no wonder that im a cuckoo.

Ive finished my composition homework, but i think it sucks. Well, its a personal thing... and i think i feel quite stupid writing that kind of melody. I think im useless! Well, not really... i can cook instant noodles... but, i cannot fry eggs! Im so useless!

Jonathan said that my blog is nice to read. Personally, i dun understand why... but, i think its kinda boring. And sorry for the bad posts about u... not! Joking. Jonathan, u said that u want a blog like mine. I think i can help u make one now... because its so freaking simple! Mine is the simplest template, with the simplest words and the simplest tagboard. And not forgetting one screwed up counter, with lots of stupid personality quizzes at the bottom. Yes, and one inactive poll.

My life is reflected through this humble blog. Im a simpleton or a really simple person? I dunno, but im confused with how sophisticated my simplicity can be at times.