Im Not Jealous, Im Afraid

Now, this is contemptible. I think its quite an embarrassment, because i said that im back, and who knows... i was gone for awhile again. Well, im not disciplined enough to help myself. Thats no wonder im always getting into trouble like attendance problem, but well... i didnt do it on purpose, i really have to attend to something else far more important. Anyway, congratulations to WeiKang, for not needing to repeat Ethnomusicology. Its also a fine warning for the next semester. And well, goodluck to those that did their re-assessment yesterday and today. I hope to see u guys next Monday. School is starting soon! Arent u like excited?

Talking about school, ive been thinking about the new faces that i'll see. Access course dudes and of course, some new schoolmates in the first year. Im not worried or troubled about the latter, but im somehow down with some thoughts. U know, people come and people go. Its life, and we should learn how to handle and adapt to it as quickly as possible. Lets not get into the darker side of things, but to think of it, i remembered Dad buying me this Pokemon toy secretly when Jane aint around, and today, hes already in Mandai. I just cant believe it, someone so important to u can just go like that. Im ashamed of how i treated Dad back then. If i were to go back in time, i'll give him a really big hug and tell him how much i'll miss him. Meanwhile, also to slap some sense into his head for re-marrying Jane, that evil bitch. Now, its more balanced this way. Anyway, as i was saying... people can come and go, withint a second of a blink. Recently, a young musician was called home. I dunno this person well, but i sympathise with all that cared for him, especially his family. I was in school when i heard about his funeral, theres nothing i can do but to just bow my head and share my thoughts for a moment. Well, in heaven, there will be no wants, because all u need will be provided. Rest well.

Yesterday i had a good time laughing to myself while playing with Richard and LianWei. We were playing through Hamachi, and i think its a great thing to have Hamachi. At first, i was kinda reluctant to download it, because i think it might turn out as sucky as Lancraft. Surprisingly, no. Im enjoying a games with Hamachi! And thanks to it, i can play happily with my friends without needing to spend a single cent. Moreover, with the comfort of my own home. Thankyou Hamachi.

Right... Anyway, its Jacinda's birthday, for those who might have forgotten such a friend. This Saturday i'll be going for another birthday party. Louis invited me over for his party a few weeks ago. Well, since i'll be having my rehearsal at Temesek Polytechnic, i think it'll be wise to go over because its so near. Let me think... what should i get him? Some UrbanMale clothings? Think he wouldnt want it. I know! I'll get him that super cute thingi i bought for Christmas a few years ago! I think it was JiaJin, the lucky one, to recieve my gift!

Ive been practicing with no will and concentration these few weeks. My competition is drawing near, and im still stuck with technical problems. If i have that problem, how am i going to deal with the musical ones? Im stressed out, and so is YanYu, im sure. Well, i havent been improving fast and so i think, i'll just commit suicide and get myself an excuse to not attend the competition. Cheers!

I just played LAN with Tommy, QingLun and Jonathan. We lost like... a loser should. I know, the security guard! U know what? The stupid Chinese security guard, the one with the bastard face, came and scold me today for bringing Tommy into school. What the hell? And he said that if anything happens to Tommy, who would be responsible and stuff. Right! Please! If he falls, of course he should be responsible for his own action what. Did i ever ask NAFA or u, highest almighty, to be responsible? And he said that hes good in writing reports. Great! Congratulations to u, dear lord of security, DrKan loves u!

Anyway, ive handed in my work. I feel so much better now, after relieving all the heavy loads of stress and work. But still, there is a stack of straw on my back. Its my responisibility to carry it to India. Im going to do my best and i'll try not to break anyone's hope. The straw is, obviously, the coming competition. I think, im going to die of cancer. Ignore that, its some random thought.

Sometimes, i dunno what im jealous about. Im afraid of people stealing things from me. Not literally, but i think u can figure that out urself.

I didnt type for a few seconds and there was silence in my room. Amazing. I love it, i should just keep quiet. Goodnight...