Beware

Woke up quite late, and rushed Mom to fetch me down to NAFA for a stupid performance for the open house. Anyway, we were caught in the traffic, and Mom was busy cursing other drivers, while she herself was making so many mistakes by cutting in and out of lanes almost immediately. Well, its funny to see her scold and talk to herself. I sat there and thought about what to play.

Well, performing now as been quite strange thing. Anyway, its never good to perform without warming up, and moreover, with a harsh attitude. For me, i just alighted and hadnt taken my lunch. So, i quickly put on my nails and had to perform a piece after tuning outside the recital hall. As usual, my performance was like crap, and this time... its the worst ever. Anyway, same goes to the performance class. Everytime, ive to rush down to school after my lesson, and i dun even have time like others to warm up and stuff. Well, u must understand that im different from prodigies like Jonathan or QingLun, so... thats why i hate to perform without preparation, MrYeo. Anyway, i expected my performance to be how it became, so... im kinda fine with it. Trust me, it was super bad. And thanks so much to QingLun's sarcasm, i love it totally.

After the bad performance, i recieved news about Jane. Well, the judges sympathise with her and didnt charge her for HuiEr's case. Thats totally ridiculous and really unfair for HuiEr. Thats why i say that there aint any justice in the world. The judges are blind! Fucking blind! So, Jane has been admitted into some hospital for depression. Come on, this kinda thing is so easy to fake, and i now people who has faked it. It doesnt matter who, but thats not the point! The gist of all these is the fact that she is so fucking evil and cruel but yet pathetic in eyes of third persons. Fuck justice, im done with that. Im so tired... i dun wish to hear her name anymore, but to think of it... how can i move on with my life when HuiEr needs support still. Why isit so unfair?

Well, while waiting for Christoven, i went to level 4, because ive always wondered how it is up there. I sat under the big umbrella and started to tear. I cried silently, because there were some people around. I faced the open sky, and just let those tear run down my cheeks. Well, i also thought about other things... which saddens me. To think of it, im always thinking further than it might be. Im starting to really hate Chinese musicians, somehow... it runs in their blood. There's this element of disgust. I just dunno what to say. Nevermind the politics, im just here to get this over and done with. To think of it, i still have a few gigs to do before im free to settle my mind for my exams and my holiday plan. There are even people offering me to play Ruan instead of the Pipa. Well, no thanks... i told them that i'll play Pipa instead of the Ruan. Anyway, if there is... i'll still play the Ruan for the sake of money. Im really poor...

Christoven came, and im lucky that nobody realised about my eyes. I think maybe it looked quite fine, so... nobody realised that i cried, though they gave me wierd faces. Fairul went off to SCH for some rehearsal, and SiHan was forced to come along... after a long session of persuading.

We headed to Cathay. We bought movie tickets to 'Pan's Labyrinth', and we were quite unsure about the story or its origin. While waiting for the movie time, we bought some food... and shopped around.

The movie is in Spanish, im quite sure. The lady who acted in this other movie we watched before was in there, so... we were wondering if the other movie that time was Spanish or French. Well, its complicating because it sounded wierd. I think it should be Spanish too. Foreign movies...

Its really good! I give the movie a few thumbs up if i have that many. It has this pinch of mystery, but yet a chunk of reality which we can relate to. It makes us wonder whether some things are real, or just plain imagination of the child. Its really complicating, it has this blow of human emotions, with some really grotesque scenes. Lots of blood at some point, and really horrifying and disturbing torturing scenes. It shows simplicity and naivity in human, malice and cruelty in characters and fairytales in reality. I think its a movie that we should watch, because its quite a different kind of movie, a balance of everything, though the setting doesnt change much. But, whats a faun? Its Roman mythology right? Its like those creatures with goat's hind legs, and with horns... and with body of man, i think. In the movie, the faun has a very questionable character. The suspense was good, and there were scenes that were really thrilling. There was this very scary looking crap which has its eyes on its palms, and thus... its really wierd, and it gives me the feeling of being in 'Silent Hill'. U know, the frightening monsters. The movie is just the right kind of fairytale for adults. Good!

We were still talking about it after the movie. We then walked back to NAFA. They practiced, while i went down to level 4 again. Ive wondered how does it look from there at night. I stood there, and looked down upon the people at the bus-stops. I looked up and tried to pierce through the clouds to see those shining stars. Im wondering... if ur there somewhere really far, looking in my direction and thinking about me, that'll be just lovely. I thought about life and how it relates to u, but then... nothing comes out toothesome before. Everything is decayed, though neither of us wished it to happen. Im still certain that u care, and u know that i do care too. I just wanna let u know, life in NAFA sucks... how isit over there? I wish to go back to year 2002.

I took out my earpiece and started to indulge myself into some music, while waiting for Mom to fetch me home. I laid under the umbrella, wishing for it to rain. Then, time flew pass really quickly... soon, ive been lying there for an hour. I went back up to get my Pipa, then i met Christoven and SiHan there too. They practiced till then, its quite amazing that they can go on like that. Anyway, they're audition is nearing, i wish them all the best! We headed down together... and waited for my Mom.

We urged SiHan not to bring back his Cello. So, he took the bus home because he went back to keep his Cello. Mom fetched Christoven home, and he bought this tin of pineapple tarts from my Mom for $12. Its cheap, isnt it? Im not sure. Anyway, my Mom is selling it, so... anybody wanna buy really good pineapple tarts, please get it from her! Please! Or else, ive to suffer her nagging. SiHan is buying right? Dun go back on ur words!

Well, im home, and i had supper. Im going to play games with LianWei now. Today's entry is short, because a slab of emotional paragraphs aint in there. Im too tired to blog about it... but well, if u know me enough, u'll be able to figure it out.

Im going mad, and i think my attitude is evolving. I wont be in a good mood these few weeks, trust me. Dun mess with me, please.

Very nice. I think its very nice. As nice as... being what u naturally are. U never listen, and i cannot be bothered anymore, forever. Im serious this time, no more next time. Anyway, u'll forever be like that, and u know what? U should be ashamed, because of what ur doing, ur losing out on many things. Well, good for me anyway, keep it going on! Its like conflating a loser with a really gay boy. Thats it! The best example ever.