Morally Lethargic ?

Im home. I had a... good time today. Well, i didnt attend class today. Im kinda too stressed out myself. So, i stayed home and tried to do something productive. In the end, like always... just rotting away at YouTube.

Then, i remembered Andy's appointment with me. So, i bathed and took a bus down to Bugis to meet him. We ate at Pastamania, and Chester was working there! When he saw me, i heard him telling his friends that his cousin is here. And yes, thats me. Its kinda super awkward to take order for ur cousin right? I bet he was feeling so. Anyway, Andy ordered first, then i took another order. My meal should cost around $9, but in the end... its only $6 plus. I was shocked, then i realised that he gave me 30% discount. So, i took a seat and messaged him. I said, thank u.

So, after having our fill, we left and headed back to NAFA. SiHan got into this Asian orchestra thingi, and he was so happy. He needed to distress, so... he asked whether we wanted to play LAN. Well, im not really that into playing LAN with SiHan, because there aint anything to play. After a few minutes, we're sitting in the LAN shop, playing with Richard too. Great day, right?

After an hour, i couldnt take it already. I kept losing, and most of all... im having motion sickness. I felt really giddy, almost puking. I bought a drink from McDonalds, and got myself settled down. I turned off my computer and logged off. So, they continued playing, while persuading me to continue. I really couldnt take it, so i took another chair and make myself comfortable. There aint many people in the shop, so... i slept on the chairs, with my legs up in the air... as if at home. I fell asleep.

When i woke up, they're still playing... and im often disturbed with SiHan's shouting and nudging. He kept cursing Andy and Richard. Well, not in a rude way. And its so funny... so, i woke up laughing and then headed to the toilet to freshen up. I sat there and continued lying for a while... till i recieved ShuMin's message. The concerto competition is finally over. The results are out... and HaiJie got first! Well, its kinda obvious that he would. Then, Laurance and XinYing got second, and last but not least, Poom, with third. Im surprised that MaSai didnt manage to win, but well... its the Piano's turn this time.

I went off first, to meet ShuMin and gang at the soya stall. After sitting down, SiHan and gang came. Thats rather fast... I didnt have any cash, so... i sat there and stole food from SiHan. I actually wanted to borrow money to take dinner, but well... i had pasta during the evening already... so i thought maybe i should stop eating for once. Im growing and growing. Well, after getting into NAFA, ive managed to lose some weight, but apparently, im balancing them back. Im so freaking horrible. Im hopeless... if i become slim one day, the world would either be in jeopardy or that Singapore will be snowing by then.

After that, we headed back to NAFA, with the intention of going for supper. Then, who knows... everybody just felt like going home. I met QingLun in school, then we went downstairs to wait for Richard, before leaving for Bugis' direction. While waiting, we were intending to scare him when he comes out of the lift. Then, we almost got the wrong person, it was Hartung. Then, there was Tommy too. We failed our mission...

We met ShuMin and Jonathan at the bus-stop. They left first, but we managed to catch up with them. Soon, bus 12 came, and they left. My bus came next, and i left too. The bus wasnt that full today, surprisingly. And so, i enjoyed a comfortable journey sitting alone. Usually, i would be sharing with some smelly uncles. Sometimes, old Chinese uncles, Indian men, or Malay women. The combination never changes.

Im home now, listening to XueQi's woes. Well, she's kinda stressed with her work. She is Samuel's personal assistant, and research partner, so... she has to do work for Samuel. Then, she has her own school work. Now, XiangLe has enrolled into NS, she has to deal with their quartet. And she's approved me to blog this out anyway, so here goes...

She cannot understand why some people are so hard to work along with. Usually, for a quartet, even for string quartets, dun u think its easier to get close friends to work together with? Firstly, theres time for everybody, and most of all, they'll understand each other more. So, the problem is that... the ErHu person for the quartet, and the Ruan person is hard to work with. They're either missing, hard to get in contact with, or has no responsibility for the quartet. I dun wish to say who, but u know who u are. Anyway, XueQi is asking... isit really that busy in NAFA? Its a psychological thingi! Come on, people are usually drinking soya, bitching during lunch or doing nothing. Theres so much free time, but apparently... everybody's telling themselves that they're so busy with NAFA! Well, im not denying, even me. Im telling myself how busy i am, but... it seems that im kinda free actually, right? In fact, im should be busy. I should be, i repeat, i should be. However, im not! Thus, it aint an excuse when u can spend ur time walking about and going out with friends. XueQi is doing this all alone, when she can actually just share abit of her load with her other team members. But why not? Because, nobody wants to share the load! How nice right? Well, responsibility is something that kids are missing out nowadays. She told me that she once tried giving to the Ruan player, but he simply just said that he cant take such responsibility, and he pushed it away. And of course, with the face giving too. I can imagine, totally. Ur not a boy anymore dude, grow up and its time not to be so selfish anymore. Uve said that u strive so hard to make everyone happy, but... actually, ur not. Its impossible to make everyone happy, theres surely a balance. XueQi said that the attitude sucks, and yes... ive to agree at times. Generally, hes a nice person, just not aware of what hes doing. Play, play and play. He can even be jealous of his own friends, and sometimes... work his ass off to make them happy, but... deep inside, its just not healthy, because he aint very happy himself. Just be normal for once, please. U wished to be normal, and u can. But in reality, ur forcing urself into this! Come on, crawl out of that well urself this time. Its not the wind that cracked ur shoulder, its the mirror image. Ur days are spent lying supine, crouching and kneeling in small spaces, chiseling away with ur life.

On the edge of sleep, i urged my thoughts backward, back to my own backyard, where i lay supine, looking at the stars on a empty night, looking back in time as far as starlight could take me... and a drop of water fell on my forehead.